Mr. Peepers Gossip

Rhetorical question: What is it with Millions of Milkshakes and attracting tragic D-list famewhores?  Last summer it was Lindsay Lohan pulling this one… but I digress.  Millions of Milkshakes threw caution to the wind yet again, tempting fate with the Dept of Health and mass customer revolt by having father and husband of the year, Jon Goesslin create a “signature” milkshake.  No telling what Jon’s signature milkshake was, but I guess it would taste something like bitterness, desperation, and used Ed Hardy t-shirts.  Mmmmm…that sounds yummy! (Except not) Hopefully, for Jon and his waistlines’ sake, it was a low calerie, high protein smoothie.  HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!  I knew I couldn’t blog that without laughing.

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During part of a Deep House Dish skit on SNL, Lady GaGa and Madonna performed a parody number, where they ended up in a girl fight.  Amid much pushing, shoving, hair pulling, and taunts, “What the hell is a disco-stick!?”  (Oh please M, don’t ask questions that everyone knows you already know the answer to) the strangest thing about the skit was what GaGa was wearing.  Like Madonna, she was decked out in  pleather bra, shorts, and boots.  By GaGa standards, this look is understated and tame.  Sitting on the couch with the “host” they continued to have their fake fight.  

“Guess what, Madonna I’m totally hotter than you!”

“Guess what? I’m totally taller than you,” Madonna responded, then added ”What kind of name is Lady Gaga. It sounds like baby food…”

“The kind that’s No. 1 on the Billboard charts,” Gaga replied. 

Of course it ended with them having to kiss and make up, shades of Madonna’s 1990 Waynes World appearence and 2003 duet with Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera at the VMA’s  completley intentional.

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Last night on the Late Show Letterman copped to having various affairs with members of his staff (not Paul Shaffer)  because someone had attempted to blackmail him over it.   Robert Halderman, a longtime producer of the CBS show 48 Hours had been given details of the fling by Letterman’s former assisstant Stephanie Birkit.  Halderman aledgedley told Letterman to pony up $2 million or he’s spill the beans.  Dave contacted his lawyer and they went to the D.A.   On Sept 30th, Halderman was arrested trying to cash a phony $2 million dollar cheque that had been given to him by Letterman’s lawyer at the DA’s request.  Guess in all the excitment he didn’t notice the “Do Not Cash” and “Fake” stamped all over the cheque.  Greedy. Greedy. Greedy.

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Everyones favorite fashion disaster and Kanye West or the Biggest Piece of Shit in the world (tm, Pink) have cancelled their upcoming tour.   TMZ has reported that Live Nation pulled the plug earlier today. Although no offical reason has been given,  fallout from West’s now infamous VMA faux-pas where he stormed the stage, taking the mic from Taylor Swift and giving a shout out to Beyonce (who he felt should have won instaed) seems likely.  West has since apologized, but was apparently up to his usual antics at a concert over the weekend, belittling a member of the staff over not having any chicken to eat. I’m not making this up, I swear.

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It usually takes a while for a celebs raging inner diva to start to manifest itself, but there are exceptions…  Mo’nique, the star of the much lauded film “Precious” is apparently letting all the attention and accolades go to her head.  Girlfriend was a no-show at the Toronto International Film Festival, and is also going to be MIA for the New York Film Festival as well.  Her publicist has quit her ass, saying she’s “too difficult” to work with.  Them’s fighting words in the industry, normally it’s due to “creative differences”. Although the offical word is because Mo’nique is prepping her upcoming talk show (all comparisons to Oprah are completley coincidental) she’s too busy to promote the film, the buzz is girlfriend wants to be paid for her time.  In other words, no cash =  no interviews, no red carpets, no comment. Don’t forget, this film was pushed by Oprah herself,  and Mo’nique is messing with it.  Dumb move.

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Everyone else in the blogverse seems to have posted this so why not me? Madonna (looking great, I must say) was on Letterman last night promoting her new Greatest Hits CD.  “She’s trouble”  she joked when asked about Lordes and squashed rumours that she intends to marry again (possibly to nanny/boy-toy/boyfriend Jesus) “I’d rather be hit by a train.”   Heh.

 M and Letterman then hit an authentic NYC pizzeria.  Ok, when I have pizza, there’s sausage, pepperoni, bacon, cheese, more cheese, and clogging arteries.   Madonna’s pizza seems to be thin crust, with tomato sauce, spinich and black olives.  Boring!  And you know she jumped on a treadmill right after and did 90 minutes of cardio listening to her own music remixed by Paul Oakenfold.  Ok, I’m totally making that part up.

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 Michael Bay has announced that Transformers 3 will hit theatres July 1, 2011.   There was originally some question as to when the third film in the critically panned, but massively popular franchise would come out.  No details have been given about plot (There was a plot in the last one? Really???) but in a statement Michael Bay posted the following on his Shoot the Edit site…

“Well its official: We have a great Transformers 3 story. The release date is now July 1st 2011. Not 2012.

Today is Day One. This morning started with an ILM meeting for five hours in San Francisco. Currently I’m flying with writer Ehren Kruger to Rhode Island to talk to Hasbro about new characters.

P.S. Megan Fox, welcome back. I promise no alien robots will harm you in any way during the production of this motion picture. Please consult your Physician when working under my direction because some side effects can occur, such as mild dizziness, intense nausea, suicidal tendencies, depression, minor chest hair growth, random internal hemorrhaging and inability to sleep. As some directors may be hazardous to your health, please consult your Doctor to determine if this is right for you.

Pain and Gain is right after shooting of Trans 3.

Michael”

Zing!  Megan Fox just got served.   My guess is her publicist will be putting in overtime shortly.

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 Father and husband of the year Jon Gosselin, having been dumped from his own reality TV show Jon & Kate plus 8 yesterday, has pulled what amounts to a temper tantrum, demanding that TLC halt production on his property through his lawyer (natch).

“Effective immediately, no production crews are to enter Jon’s family home for any reason. In the event that anyone enters the marital property, Jon Gosselin will notify the local authorities to effectuate police action against any trespassers.”

TLC has stopped production for the time being of the newly christened  Kate plus 8 (shouldn’t that be Kate plus Hate?) and issued the following statement to the media…

   “We are aware of Jon Gosselin’s recent statements, and remain deeply disappointed at his continued erratic behavior. He and the family were shooting as recently as last Friday, without incident, and his latest comments are grossly inaccurate, without merit and are clearly opportunistic. Despite Jon Gosselin’s repeated self destructive and unprofessional actions, he remains under an exclusive contract with TLC. Direct filming of the children has been currently suspended, pending further conversations between both parents.”

In other words, TLC is saying douchebag had no problem with the expoitation of his litter as long as he was getting a cheque.  Now that he’s been effectively cut out, he’s trying to make waves.  

Think Kate is going to take this lying down?  Yeah, me neither.

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