I’m not making this crap up.

Kevin Smith, director, writer, and actor (Clerks, Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back) posted on his Twitter last night that he was removed from a Southwest Airlines flight heading from Oakland to Burbank after they deemed him a safety risk.   Who runs this airline?  Karl Lagerfeld and Anna Wintour?

Apparently, Southwest has a policy that people of size that can’t fit between the armrests, they must buy a seperate seat.  If none are available, the customers are given refunds or reloacated free of charge.  Sounds humiliating.  Smith was given a voucher for $100 and put on a different Southwest flight.  His Tweets regarding the experience below (the last one is priceless).

“Dear @SouthwestAir – I know I’m fat, but was Captain Leysath really justified in throwing me off a flight for which I was already seated?”

“I’m way fat… But I’m not THERE just yet, but if I am, why wait til my bag is up, and I’m seated WITH ARM RESTS DOWN. In front of a packed plane with a bunch of folks who’d already I.d.ed me as ‘Silent Bob.”

“Hey @SouthwestAir! Look how fat I am on your plane! Quick! Throw me off!”

“The @SouthwestAir Diet. How it works: you’re publicly shamed into a slimmer figure. Crying the weight right off has never been easier!”

“Hey @SouthwestAir! I’ve landed in Burbank. Don’t worry: wall of the plane was opened & I was airlifted out while Richard Simmons supervised.”

Memo to self: Southwest Airlines is to be avoided at all costs unless I’m under 180 lbs, just in case….

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You may not have heard of Katie (aka Jordon) Price. 

She’s an attention starved celebutard of the lowest denomenator from the UK who used to be a model.  Think Heidi Montag without the blonde hair, class, or talent, and bigger boobs.

Anyway, Katie’s marriage to Peter Andre, an Australian pop singer who looks like a gay circuit boy circa 2001, fell apart amid charges of infidelity last year.  Having a reality TV show revolve around them trying to make it as professional celebrities in America a couple of years ago as well probably didn’t help matters any.   

Katie got over Peter pretty quick, starting to date a guy named Alex Reid, a cage fighter who also happens to be a cross dresser (no, I’m not making any of this up, I swear) sometimes appearing as Katie.  Alex also recently won the Celebrity Big Brother in the UK.

Katie and Alex eloped to Vegas a few days ago.  Well, looks like the honeymoon is already over, at least as far as Alex is concerned.  Apparently not only was he drunk the entire time the ceremony took place, he’s now seeking an annulment, saying he didn’t realize all the “implications” of getting married to Katie in the first place.

Do you think she told him he couldn’t borrow her outfits anymore and he took offense?

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Guess Mel is sick of talking about that incident a few years ago.

You know the one, the DUI, and anti-semitic rant and of course, “Sugar-tits”. 

Mel’s been busy pushing his new movie The Edge of Darkness which opened to mixed reviews and came in at number two against Avatar last weekend.

While being interviewed by WGN, Mel get’s asked if he thinks the public’s perception of him has changed.  Mel says he’s tired of talking about it and the interview raps up, but Mel, thinking the camera was off calls the guy an “asshole”. 

Opps!  Should he have said it?  No.  However, Mel’s not the first  person to land in the news or hot water by saying something thinking the camera or microphone was off.  The general rule of thumb is while in front of the camera, say nothing that you wouldn’t want getting out or ending up on You Tube.  It’s only the flick of a switch by a disgruntled member of the crew away.

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You’ve probably heard the old metaphor about any wildly popular group at the height of their career being able to release a fart and watch it go gold.

So imagine a total D-Lister letting one fly during a business meeting and it actually making the news.

Enter Jessica Simpson.

Now known solely for her weight, fashion choices, who she’s married to, then divorcing, dating or not dating (Nick Lachey, John Mayer, Tony Romo, Billy Corgan, Gerrard Butler), we can add a case of gas to her list of accomplishments.

Apparently after the poor thing tooted, probably involentary or hoping for a SBD, her mother, who was there as well chastised her for it (like, what is she, 10?).  Worse still, someone who was there went skipping over to US Magazine to tell tales out of school, and they went ahead with the story. 

Poor Jess just can’t seem to get a break, no matter what.

Had I been Jess my response to Mom would have been “Whoever smelt it, dealt it”. 

Yes it’s totally juvenile (then again, no one’s ever accused me of being mature) but if your going to be treated like a child, you might as well have some fun and act like one.

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“Mine!”

“No Mine!”

“No! It’s mine! all Mine!!!”

There’s a been whiff of controversy brewing over George Clooney’s film Up In The Air over who actually wrote it.  Writer/Director Jason Reitman or screen-writer Sheldon Turner.

Apparently, Turner had worked on a script prior to Reitman finding the novel and creating one of his own.  This in itself is not unusual, (people come up with similar ideas all the time) but where the controversy is coming in is Reitman’s apparent initial reluctance to share credit and give Turner his due.

Ultimately, it went to two rounds of arbitration by the WGA to settle the matter with the result being Turner awarded a co-writing credit for the film.  Obviously Reitman had to get adjust to the idea of sharing what he thought was his project and his alone.  However, just becuase you have to accept something doesn’t mean you’ll neccessarily embrace it, a fact made obvious by Reitman’s refusing to let Turner speak during their win at the Critics Choice Awards, a situation awkwardly remeided when Up In The Air won a Golden Globe.

Originally choosing not to comment on the subject, the two have apparently put aside any animosity (for the time being anyway), each coming across as one big love-fest of unity, mutual admiration, and respect for one another during interviews.

Damage control and carefully worded spin til after the nominess are announced and the Academy Awards happen?  Probably. 

Should be interesting to see what happens come Oscar night and even more interesting as to what happens shortly after.

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Why go after someone for child-support when you clearly don’t need it and they’ll have difficulty paying it? 

When it’s not really financial support that your after.

Bristol Palin, who along with her mother Sarah, was paid $100 000 to appear on the cover of InTouch Magazine for their special pro-life issue, and is apparently starting her own PR firm (anyone care to wager who her first client might be?) is now going after her famewhoring, currently unemployed, baby daddy Levi Johnston for child support.

According to TMZ, Bristol believes Johnston made in excess of $100 000 last year and is looking for over $1 700 a month in child support.  It should be noted that Bristol and her son still live with her family so it’s not like the two of them are out on the street and living off of food-stamps. 

Considering Bristol is fighting Levi for full custody of their son Tripp, and given Sarah’s acrimonious relationship with Johnston, this seems more like an attempt by the Palin’s and their legal team to paint the 20 year old as a dead-beat dad, thus ensuring full custody of the kid and tainting any revelations Johnston might come forward with in the future as “sour grapes”.

Don’t get me wrong, Levi’s no prize and he should meet his obligations, but this seems more like a game of chess or cat and mouse than anything else. 

The ball’s in your court Mr. Johnston.

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Chris Brown takes another disastrous media mis-step and invites an even bigger poo-storm.

After being vilified (and deservedly so) in the media for beating then girlfriend Rihanna last year and being convicted of assault, Chris Brown attended a Jean Paul Gautier fashion show, (the theme of which was boxing) during Paris’ Fashion Week.

The logic behind agreeing to pose for photos with someone who’s been made to look like he got the crap beaten out of him when it’s been less than a year since a conviction for doing the exact same thing to somebody else completley escapes me. 

Although Brown has maintained he’s very sorry for what happened, his actions since the incident last February would seem to indicate otherwise. 

Yet he still wonders why his album and concert ticket sales are down.  Guy needs to find himself a better PR team and start listening to their advice while he still has a career left to protect.

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Literally.

Then again, it’s Italian television, so maybe it’s a cultural thing?

Anyway, David Beckham was being interviewed on some TV show that’s a satire on news while attending a fashion show in Milan, Italy when a second reporter wearing a pair of yellow dish-washing gloves snuck up and stuck her hand down his crotch in an apparent attempt to see if he stuffed his drawers for his Emporio Armani underwear campaign. 

HA!  

In some places, this would make them betrothed.

Needless to say, Becks wasn’t impressed (nor would Posh be I’m sure) and his people whisked him away post haste.

Undeterred, the reporter gave chase, camera-man in tow, yelling “E piccolo, Beckham” (“Beckham is small”).  Then again, if someone shoves their hands down a guy’s pants uninvited and out of the blue, everything retracts as a reflex.

While I think this is pretty funny, I also think there’s a bit of a double standard here.  Imagine a male reporter trying this out to see if a female celeb’s boobs are real.

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Rumour via the always reliable National Enquirer is that the 72 year old thesp has been in a relationship with his 27 year old step-granddaughter, from his first marriage, Edina Hines, for about 10 years (above).  The tabloid had said that this is what led to the split between him and his second wife, Myrna.   Now the Enquirer is following up with that story from about half a year ago, reporting that the two are planning to start a family together. 

The Enquirer as you know, is often….out there in some of their stories.  Like, way out.  Other times, however, there’s something to the stuff that they print, and other times, they hit a bulls-eye.    

If there is any truth to this story, Freeman can pretty much kiss any chance of future Oscar glory adios.  Interestingly enough, he and his ex are locked in a bitter dispute over a divorce settlement.  Could these rumours have been planted by Myrna’s camp in order to make a better case against him?  People turn into absolute beasts when it comes to money, even relatively small (by celebrity standards) amounts.

Morgan Freeman showed up with a woman who was identified as his manager/companion last night at the National Board of Review Awardsceremony last night, possibly in a move to dispel the rumours without actually addressing them and thus giving them further credibility.

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Flee!  Flee!  Only the righteous shall be spared!

Meeting in a trailer park (even one in Malibu) is never a good beginning sign for a relationship. 

So thus endeth the romance between Pamela Anderson and her kind of hot, electrician boyfriend, Jamie Padgett.

Looks like Pam told a friend she was no longer seeing Padgett, who skipped right over to Radar Online to blab about the breakup (gotta pay those holiday bills somehow).  It’s also interesting to note Pam took-up with a man who’s an electrician while renovations were being done to her house.  Does the breakup mean the renos are now finished?

When Radar contacted Padgett he told them “Pam is a fine mother and she does some great work for animal rights through PETA. I did not go to London with her over the holidays as I was doing my own thing – it’s up to her to say if we are dating or not. I’m sure I will see her when I see her.”

Sounds fairly reasonable doesn’t it?  Except why can’t I shake the feeling that Radar, in speaking to Padgett, confirmed what he had only until then suspected?

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