Weird how these things happen in threes.  After the Courtney Cox/David Arquette story, word came out that Ben Harper left Laura Dern (don’t care/didn’t post). 

Today it was revealed by UsWeekly that Christina Aguilera and her husband Jordan Bratman have called it quits (they met in 2002, marrying three years later and have a two year old son).  Christina told celebrity ass-kisser People that “Although Jordan and I are separated, our commitment to our son Max remains as strong as ever.”

Apparently, Christina and Jordan have been seperated for several months and are working on financial and custody arrangements.  Hasn’t been her year has it?  Single bombs, disappointing album sales, a cancelled tour, and now this. 

Maybe Burlesque will turn things around for her (ahem). Cue countdown for rumours about Christina and co-star Cam Gigandent in 5…4…3…

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Looks like there was something to all that gossip about Courtney maybe getting along a little too well with one of her co-stars on Cougar Town.

Reported first by TMZ,and then confirmed by the pair via a statement, Courtney and her husband David are taking a bit of a break from each other while they decide if they want to pack it in or simply re-define their marriage.

“The reason for this separation is to better understand ourselves and the qualities we need in a partner and for our marriage. We remain best friends and responsible parents to our daughter and we still love each other deeply. As we go though this process we are determined to use kindness and understanding to get through this together. We are comfortable with the boundaries that we have established for each other during this separation and we hope that our friends, family, fans and the media also show us respect, dignity, understanding and love at this time as well.”

Sounds like they both want to try out new f*ck buddies.  Just remember, there is nothing new except someone new.

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Turning heads (and stomachs) since they first hooked up last winter, Eli and Peaches are now past tense.

Maybe it was the age difference, but far more likely, once the thrill of bumping uglies with each other finally wore off, Eli realized they just didn’t have that much in common, let alone much to talk about it.

Paris Hilton has depth compared to Peaches (Tweet below not withstanding).  Just sayin’…

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Page Six is claiming the drama causing Real Housewife of DC and her shady husband Tareq, won’t be back for a second season (if there is one).

Real Housewives of DC is the only version of the franchise that hasn’t been a runaway hit for Bravo, and speculation is that it has to do with the Sahali’s involvement. 

Adding to that there’s increasing tension with fellow cast member Lynda “dealing with second tier seemed so unnatural” Erkiletian, who’s been complaining to people about the Salahi’s publicity stunts. 

The Salahi’s have also accused Bravoof keeping them from telling people what really went down the night of the White House State Dinner they crashed last fall (The Salahi’s were likely behind the idea but the camera crew was probably only too delighted to tag along for the ride), irritating the high foreheads at the network.

Most recently, Michaele announced she has MS and has been living with the disease for years.  She wouldn’t lie about something like that.  Would she?

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Oh noes!  Does this mean an end to our being entertained by John’s (non) clever musings? 

Thankfully, he’s still keeping his blog on JohnMayer.com, Tumblr, and  Facebook, accounts active to keep us entertained with his douchebaggery (if that’s not a real word/term it should be) and thoughts.

BTW, Radar is saying John and Jennifer Aniston hooked up in Atlanta this past weekend.  While it’s possible that John’s gone back to his old f*ck buddy, Jen has a movie coming out to promote, so I’m calling shenanigans.  This was probably a story planted by her spokesminon.

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Showing a modicum of common sense that she normally doesn’t display on Jersey Shore (yeah, yeah, it’s all in the editing), the transsexual Oompa Loompa has turned down possible stalker with rage issues and wanna be famewhore Jeff Mirranda’s marriage proposal, making sure we also know she’s single via her Twitter account.

Oooh.  Burn.

So long Jeff, we hardly knew thee.

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Looks like Liam Hemsworth, that hot Aussie piece of Miley Cyrus’ that she met last year while making the box office flop The Last Song decided that since she Can’t Be Tamed, he’d grant her her freedom as well as his in the process.

Gossip Cop is reporting that a friend of the actor (his equally hot older brother?) has confirmed that the actor is now single, while Miley’s spokesminion is remaining mum about the matter.

Poor Miley. 

As for Liam, something tells me he won’t be without companionship (as it’s called in polite circles) for very long.  Word is he’s already been seen out on the prowl and they’re predictably falling over themselves for him.

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Nothing says “who f*cked who?” more than than wearing a slight smirk on the cover of People Magazine as a way to celebrate your $100 million dollar windfall from your philandering husband that you just divorced.

In an exclusive (that word certainly gets tossed around a lot) interview Elin Nordegren talks about the past nine months and what she’s been through.  To summarize: Blah blah blah, “been through hell”, blah blah, “embarrassed” blah “stronger”.  She forgot to mention $100 million or so richer, but that would have been crass.

No word if Elin’s planning on doing televised interviews (you just know Barbara Walters, Oprah and Larry King are all chomping at the bit), or if this is a one shot deal.  Now we now why the settlement took so long.  Tiger and his team proabably wanted a gag order in place like the one for Faithless Hussy, but Elin wanted the chance to turn the screws a little tell her side.

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All it cost him was a rumoured $100 million in alimony and joint custody of the kids.

According to People, who received a joint statement via Elin Nordegren’s lawyer, the pair have finally finalized their divorce.  In a nutshell, blah blah blah ”sad the marriage is over”, blah blah, “two wonderful children”, blah “amicable discussions”, blah.

So to all gold-digging, skanky hos, cocktail waitresses and porn stars out there, congrats!  Tiger’s all yours for the taking if you still want him.  Although something tells me the bloom will be off the rose a bit now that the potential blackmail factor has been taken out of the picture.

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Yet again.

Apparently shlock (typo on purpose) rocker Marilyn Manson and actress Evan Rachel Wood (True Blood) have called it quits after getting engaged this past winter.

They spent the better part of 2009 apart but reconciled last December.  He’s 41, she’s 22.

Sing it with me, We’re all part of, the dope show….

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