Here’s a prediction, this will not end well.

After having a staggering 10 “procedures” in one day and walking around LA looking like a puffy blow up fem-bot, Heidi Montag-Pratt has given her manager husband the heave ho, opting to be managed by a psychic named Aiden Chase from Malibu.

Speaking to People, Heidi said, “After the incredible experiences I have had healing my life and truly connecting to my dreams with healer intuitive Aiden Chase, I have officially asked him to become my manager.  Having an intuitive psychic leading my team gives me an edge no one else has.  No longer is my husband the face of my business or managing my career, I am going to have Aiden Chase help manage my new life and career in a very different and positive way with light and love. The time for change is now. Never mix business and pleasure. We are no longer Speidi but Spencer and Heidi.”

I couldn’t make this stuff up if I tried (it’s also very hard to type laughing).

An interesting choice of words there, considering that Heidi’s face really isn’t her face any more either. 

Guess she wasn’t happy with the 600 or so copies of her debut album Superficial sold, or her husbands reaction to her new and ”improved” look.

Heidi says she is excited for her future and the “bright successes” coming her way, having now “cleared out all the negative energy” in her life.

Let the countdown to an affair/separation/divorce begin!

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Apparently Lindsay (shown here attending John Galliano’s show) isn’t working for fashion house Ungaro anymore.

When finally asked about her absence from their Fashion Show in Paris earlier today by WWD, a spokesminion told them “She’s not involved in this collection“.

Does this mean she’s fired?  Her last collection was reviled, but actually ended up selling for some unfathomable reason.

As for her attending Paris Fashion Week if she’s not working, a scam and an excuse.  How much do you want to bet Lindsay’s been running around town trying to charge things to Ungaro’s account as their Creative Consultant again? 

Linds probably also needed to find a reason to be out of LA and NYC for all those Oscar parties she wouldn’t be invited to.

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First her crappy catsuit gets a big thumbs down in the blogiverse.

Now comes word that her new album Love, which was supposed to be released in early April, is postponed as she’s been dropped by her record label, Sony.

J-Lo’s first two singles from the upcoming disc Fresh Out The Oven and Louboutins did ok on the dance charts, but failed to make much of an impact, getting a “meh” reception.

Her manager went into full spin mode, saying “Jennifer had a wonderful relationship with the Sony Music group, and they have shared many successes together, but the time was right to make a change that best serves the direction her career as an actress and recording artist. She is grateful and appreciative to everyone Sony for all that they accomplished together”.

J-lo’s spokesminion says she’s currently begging and pleading in negotiations with a different label, so don’t cross Love off your 2010 CD list just yet.

J-Lo is one of those artists that started at the top with her first release which can be a mixed blessing.  On The 6 was a huge hit when it was released almost 11 years ago, but since then each subsequent album seems to get a colder reception from the music listening public. 

If that wasn’t enough of an ego bruiser, her new movie The Back-Up Plan, has been pushed back to April 23rd as the April 16th date became “too crowded“.

Well, at least J-Lo still has her Saturday Night Live coming up this weekend as both host and musical guest (with a non-existent album to promote and a delayed movie to shill).  Wonder if they’ll write these developments into her monolgue or a skit?

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According to People (via The Hollywood Gossip) Cornish’s spokesminion confirmed she moved out of the house they shared, ending a three year relationship.

The split comes months after rumours and blind items started swirling that there was trouble in paradise in the form of some Tiger Woods like behavior going on.   Phillippe was previously married to Reese Witherspoon, a union which ended when Phillippe allegedly stepped out on her with Cornish.

No one’s talking (yet) about the reason for the split, as the spokesminion giving the “no comment” answer which might as well be akin to saying “three guesses and the first two don’t count”.

Guess Cornish forgot the golden rule for women.  Never date a man that’s prettier than you are.

As for Phillippe, something tells me he’ll be lonely for very long.  Hollywood’s full of sweet young things looking for well connected guys in the industry to introduce them to people that can help their careers.  If they happen to be hot, so much the better.

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The well preserved octogenarian and grande damne of ABC news continues to creep and shuffle her way slowly (oh so very slowly) to retirement.

Babs told the rest of the hens on The View yesterday that after 29 years of interviewing various actors, producers, and directors for her Oscar Special, she has developed a ”been there done that” vibe for continuing on with it after this years effort, which will feature chats with Sandra Bullock and Mo’nique.

Can anyone really blame her?  At this point Barbara proably can’t get through the average Academy Award contending movie without a nap or two and a bag depends.

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I found Jesus!  He was on the dancefloor with Madonna.  

After breakup rumours about the big M and Jesus breaking up a short time ago, followed by more rumours that Madonna already found a replacement boyfriend with a young Peter Gallagher look-a-like model, she was spotted in Rio with Jesus, dancing up a storm in some club before being whisked back to their hotel (pictured above).

Question is they’re together, but are they together together? (Forever and ever and ever?) 

We all wait with baited breath.  Come on Big M, don’t keep us guessing too long.

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Are any of us really surprised by this development?  

Lindsay Lohan is no longer attending the Vienna Opera Ball as 77 year old gazillionaire and socialite Richard Lugner’s “date”, an honor that would have given the 23 year old trainwreck a much needed $150 000 into her coffers.

Apparently (and I’m not buying this story at all), Lindsay was on one of her famous shopping sprees and missed her flight to London.  She could have held the flight for $22 000, but lacked the funds to pay for it, according to Lugner, clearly indicating that he wasn’t about to cough up more money for her either.  

Deciding that he had more than enough of Lohan and her antics (she had wanted the Vienna Opera Ball moved to accommodate her, her handlers insisted alcohol could not be made accessible, etc, etc), Lugner pulled the same move Lovemyshoes.com did yesterday with Lindsay’s mother Dina and quit that bitch.

Richard Lunger is now either taking boobtastic UK tabloid queen Katie Price instead.

You know it’s truly over when you can’t even cut it as a paid escort.

UPDATE – Looks like Lugner has had it with the ladies.  Reports coming in he’s actually taking some German guy named Dieter Bohlen to the ball tonight instead of Katie.

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This story just becomes more and more bizarre with each passing day.

Long story short.  Sen. John Edwards, is that extra skeezy US politician who stepped out on his cancer stricken wife Elizabeth (who by all accounts was no real prize herself) with a woman named Rielle Hunter and fathered her kid, then had his equally creepy aide Andrew Young help cover it up, posing as Hunter’s significant other.

Of course the story broke and truth eventually leaked out, with people asking all involved various questions about their behavior and motives.  Elizabeth initially stayed with John, while Young went on to write a book about the whole thing (natch) then went on how there was a sex tape of Edwards and Hunter and that he’d be forced, (forced!) to sell it if people didn’t buy his book.

Rielle got wind of this and had a Judge slap Andrews with an injunction, forcing him to hand over the sex-tape (give it about six months and it’ll turn up on the Internet somehow).  Meanwhile, Elizabeth decided that John’s future prospects weren’t that good and quit his ass, filing for divorce long after anyone sane would have thrown in the towel.

Now comes word via ABC news that she’s suing Andrews of all people over her husband’s behavior, citing “alienation of affection” apparently mad that Andrew’s didn’t come to her beforehand when he became aware of the fling or just pissed that he’s getting his fifteen minutes of fame and money out of this.  Silly woman, haven’t you heard of “bros before hos?”

This sounds more and more like a convuluted plot from The Simpsons involving Mr Burns, Smithers, Burns’ mother and a guest character/star.

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You may not have heard of Katie (aka Jordon) Price. 

She’s an attention starved celebutard of the lowest denomenator from the UK who used to be a model.  Think Heidi Montag without the blonde hair, class, or talent, and bigger boobs.

Anyway, Katie’s marriage to Peter Andre, an Australian pop singer who looks like a gay circuit boy circa 2001, fell apart amid charges of infidelity last year.  Having a reality TV show revolve around them trying to make it as professional celebrities in America a couple of years ago as well probably didn’t help matters any.   

Katie got over Peter pretty quick, starting to date a guy named Alex Reid, a cage fighter who also happens to be a cross dresser (no, I’m not making any of this up, I swear) sometimes appearing as Katie.  Alex also recently won the Celebrity Big Brother in the UK.

Katie and Alex eloped to Vegas a few days ago.  Well, looks like the honeymoon is already over, at least as far as Alex is concerned.  Apparently not only was he drunk the entire time the ceremony took place, he’s now seeking an annulment, saying he didn’t realize all the “implications” of getting married to Katie in the first place.

Do you think she told him he couldn’t borrow her outfits anymore and he took offense?

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Fresh off announcing last week that she’s a hoarder (except she isn’t really) on The Insider, and the rumour Friday that she threw a drink in ex-girlfriend Sam Ronson’s face in some club, comes word that Lindsay Lohan’s relationship with th DJ was violent.

Apparently, some source (Lindsay, Dina, or Michael, take your pick) told Radar that Lindsay said Sam beat and choked her one time.

While I’m sure the two of them probably had screaming matches complete with things being thrown at each other and out of windows, regardless of whether they were opened or not, I doubt it actually escalated to this point.

Cracked out as Lindsay is and as anti-social as Sam appears, neither one is stupid enough to physically assault the other.  Why?  First, they needed each other.  Sam was the only reason Lindsay was getting any mention in the press for a time, while Sam needed Lindsay to help make her an in-demand DJ.  Second, an assault would have meant game over, something neither could afford at the time.

These stories that come from nameless sources that quote things people allegedly told them once are as tiresome as they are ultimately unprovable.

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