HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

This just made my morning. 

According to Radar, even though she was one of the higher profile celebrities (which says it all) for the current season of Dr Drew’s infamous exersise in schadenfreude, word is the good Doctor realized that Tila’s main problems are that  (A) she’s addicted to attention and (B) is bat-sh*t crazy.

Apparently, the final straw for the good doctor was when Tila blamed her alter-ego “Jane” for cutting and burning her arms.  Realizing he was in way over his head with this one, Dr Drew had her tossed out, free to terrorize LA once again with her famewhoring shenanigans.

No word if how or if this will affect production of Celebrity Rehab, or if they plan on replacing Tila with a less trainwrecky trainwreck.

Cue countdown for one of Tila’s patented online tirades against Dr Drew in 5…4…3…

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This just continues to get worse and worse (yet more fascinatingly entertaining at the same time).  

Mad Mel Gibson fresh from having more tapes released of him yelling and screaming at his gold-digging baby mama Oskana Gregorieva, (and using various racial slurs) was dumped over the weekend by his agency, William Morris Endeavor Entertainment.

Depending on who you believe, Mad Mel always planned on leaving the agency after his agent shrugged off this mortal coil (he died July 3rd) or agency partner Ari Emanuel, who’s hated Gibson ever since his anti-semetic tirade in 2006, was behind the split, but had to put up with Gidson’s presence for Mel’s agent sake.

Also?  The police have opened an investigation over the possibility of domestic violence in the Gibson-Gregorieva relationship, apparently expressing concern that she didn’t come forward when the alleged assault took place.

As for Gold-digger, she’s said to have “no idea” who leaked the tapes (sure she doesn’t) but thinks “it’s terrible”.  Well, of course it is!  It’s harder to extort money from someone when what you had on them has been let out of the bag, so to speak. 

Radar  says the reason for all this drama in the first place is that Mad Mel had Gold-digger sign a cohabitation agreement, preventing her from claiming any of his fortune if they went their separate ways. 

Will Mad Mel be able to climb back into Hollywood’s good graces or is he completely done, like a drunken prom queen behind the bleachers?  Will Gold-digger manage to get some of Mel’s money or except for Child Support (which trumps everything) is she SOL?

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These make that whole “Sugar Tits” thing from a few years back pale in comparison.

As you know, Mel’s ex-girlfriend, professional gold-digger Oksana Grigorieva claims that Mel beat her up this past January, leaving her bruised and with two broken teeth (she left him this spring). Mel and his legal team have denied this, claiming it was only a yelling match, with both sides issuing restraining orders on one another. 

Apparently, Mel is refusing to cough up the money Oksana is likely almost certainly seeking from him, and a tape was leaked to Radar last week, where the actor is heard saying, “You look like a f*cking pig in heat.  If you get raped by a pack of n*ggers, it’ll be your fault.”   

Now another tape has been released, where Mel tells Oksana “You know what?  You f*cking deserved it”, when she asks him what kind of a man would hit a woman twice in the face while holding a child in her hands.

Opps.

Oksama claims that she started to secretley tape Mel after he threatened to kill her.  No word yet if the police or Child Protective Services in Malibu have become involved, but it wouldn’t be surprising if they start an investigation. 

As for the probable shake-down attempt, I don’t think Mel will be forking over any money to Oksana now that she’s exposed him.  Do you?

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It’s the end of an era as semi-mummified CNN mainstay Larry King is stepping down after 25 years as host of Live with Larry King.

Apparently, sources close to Larry say the reason for his decision has much to do with the recent drama surrounding his wife Shawn Southland and the “mess that is his personal life”.  

In Larry’s full statement, he says’s he’s not completley done with CNN yet and will host several specials a year, but his reign as host of Live will be over by the end of the summer.

Let the guessing games for a successor begin again, as CNN has yet to name Larry’s heir apparent.  Ryan Seacrest and Piers Morgan have both been mentioned in the past (and we know it’s probably not going to be Kathy Griffin).  Even though he has his own show with his own time slot, my money’s still on the Silver Fox himself, Anderson Cooper.

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It wasn’t painless but it sure was quick.  TMZ says that Sandra Bullock’s divorce from Jesse James was finalized last week.

Neither one requested spousal support from the other, which helped speed things along.  The reason for the dissolution of marriage was listed as “discord or conflict of personalities”  which sounds way more classy than listing it as “husband screwed a bunch of vile hos”.

Word is Jesse plans on moving to Austin, TX, so his kids from his previous marriage can continue their relationship with Sandra, who can now finalize her adoption of Louis as a single parent.  Sandra’s next project will be another rom-com with Ryan Reynolds. 

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This is going to get interesting.

Remember Mel Gibson’s smug looking baby-mama, and professional gold-digger, Oksana Gregorieva?  When she and Mel parted ways earlier this year, she said rather cryptically, “We have split up, suddenly and recently… Unfortunately, I cannot give you the reason, but you will find out everything quite soon.”

How soon is now?

Apparently, Oksana’s lawyers requested an emergency hearing with a judge Monday, asking for a restraining order against Mel.  Oksana claims he beat her in January, while some source implied to TMZ  emotional and verbal abuse continued to occur after.  If  these claims are true, why didn’t Oksana get a retraining order or go the police the second she left him, or is this just part of her shakedown attempt? (Come on, we knew there was bound to be one).

Meanwhile, realizing things were about to hit the fan, Mel toddled down to the courthouse to get his own restraining order against Oksana, which  includes a gag order (sorry Oksana, no high paying exclusive interviews with the tabloids for you), and grants him access to their daughter, Lucia.  Since the case is sealed, the rest of deets are unavailable.

Cue countdown for a he said/she said battle of words in the media, all attributed to anonymous sources.

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These two famewhores must have each gone running to the tabloids the second ABC gave them the all clear to break up with each other earlier this week.  

According to Star Magazine, Fly-boy Ken (Jake Pavelka) wasn’t interested in Hailey Glassman Version 2.0 (Vienna Girardi)<i>that way</i>(if you know what I mean and I think that you do).  HGV2.0 complains in an “exclusive” interview (giving her best sad puppy-dog face for the cameras) that Fly-boy Ken was only interested in her when the media was around and that they hadn’t been intimate in months.  Cue the countdown for the “Is Jake Gay?” rumours any moment now.

But!

In an exclusive interview with People, Fly-boy Ken says HGV2.0 was pretty much a cling-on, insanely jealous, and didn’t give him breathing room.  Translation: He got bored of her quick after the sex appeal wore off. 

 Meanwhile, US Magazine claims HGV2.0 is something of a skank, saying she stepped out on Fly-Boy Ken, most recently with Gregory Michael.

Hope they enjoy the last precious seconds of their 15 minutes.  Next stop, probably soft core porn for her, and another round in a reality TV show for him (is ABC’s latest spin off on this contrived mess, The Bachelor Pad, still accepting cast additions?)

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Tennis legend Martina Navratilova is paying off ex-partner Toni Layton $3 million in hush money to prevent her from exposing her “secrets” in a long legal match.

The two had been together for eight years, breaking up in January 2008, when Martina gave Toni the heave-ho.  Apparently, Toni didn’t take it too well (or appreciate the $200 000  settlement Martina initially offered).

Toni previously claimed , “There are a lot of skeletons in Martina’s closet. It is more like a storage facility full of them, and I know them all”.

Just remember kids, threatening to expose a person’s secrets for money yourself is a major no-no (extortion is illegal), unless you hire a lawyer to do it on your behalf, in which case any money handed over is called a ”settlement”.  See?  It’s not just how you say it, but who says it that matters. 

Cue stampede of Martina’s previous ex’s to come out of the woodwork, looking for payouts or to sell their stories to the tabloids in 5…4…3….

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Well boo hoo and color me all sorts of shocked (not really).

Fly-boy Ken (Jake Pavelka) from The Bachelor and immediately after on Dancing With The Stars, has broken up with the famewhore woman he chose to be his fiance, Hailey Glassman V2.0 (Vienna Girardi).

 US Weekly is saying the pair’s spokesminion has confirmed to them that the couple has  split up, adding that they “appreciate privacy at this time”. 

Sorry famewhores, no can do.

Most likely, ABC gave them the all clear, as the charade had gone on long enough.  Either that, or Vienna realized she wasn’t going to get any more famous than she was with Jake, while he was already getting bored of her.

Wonder if Vienna’s already hawked the half million dollar rock she got as an engagement ring from Jake (on ABC’s dime)?  She seems to be taking her split from Jake pretty well.  Apparently, Vienna was seen hitting on Greek star Gregory Michael the other night in LA.  She moves fast, no?

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If only some actresses with even less range (cough-Aniston-cough) would follow suit…

The plucky actress, who made a name for herself playing equally plucky characters in TV (What I Like About You), and film (What A Girl Wants, She’s The Man, Sydney White), announced via her Twitter account that she’s quitting acting, writing in a series of Tweets, “I don’t love acting anymore so I’ve stopped doing it. Being an actress isn’t as fun as it may seem.  I’ve never written the movies & tv shows I’ve been apart of I’ve only acted like the characters the producers or directors wanted me to play.”

Her spokesminion has yet to comment on her revelation.  Hmmm.  Maybe Amanda Bynes isn’t as quite as plucky as we thought?

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