… To help avoid this kind of thing.  Read on.

Apparently, Lindsay clipped a woman pushing a baby stroller late yesterday afternoon when making a right turn from a parking garage in West Hollywood.

Radar has all the juicy details, including a video which supposedly shows Lindsay’s car speeding away (hit and run). 

What makes the validity of this story dubious at best is that no police report has been filed and the man who shot the video went to Radar instead.

TMZ is calling bullsh*t on the whole thing, having identified the video taker as Brayan Jaime, a freelance paparazzi.  Hmmmm.  When TMZ asked him why he didn’t go to police as well (a reasonable question) he said that “he didn’t want to get involved”.

Riiiiiiight.  Isn’t it illegal not to report a crime to the police if you witness one?  (Then again, filing a false report with the police is a crime as well.)   

Funny that Jaime doesn’t seem to have a problem involving himself, so long as he’s getting money and credit for his efforts.

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Not on the court but in the stands.

Don’t know who started it or who said what to whom, but something tells me the words “fat” and “bitch” were used one too many times.  This is exactly why I refuse to sit in the nosebleeds at events, too much trash.

Remember when dealing with asshats, keep it chill, with your temper in check, and always, always keep your hands to yourself.  You never know who might be watching, or recording.

Update – Here’s another angle of the fight.  Apparently Chubs and her husband/father/whatever took offense to some of Junior’s language.  One too many f-bombs.  So like the two rational adults they are, they picked a fight with him rather than getting security, changing their seats, or just ignoring him.

All three were arrested and later released but have been banned from the US Open until 2013.  Cue lawsuits (cause you know they’re coming) and a possible offer for a reality TV show.

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Card carrying members of Mensa that they both are (sarcasm), T.I and his wife Tameka (Tiny) Cottle were arrested for hot boxing, or pulling a Paris Hilton in West Hollywood last night.

According to TMZ, the two were booked for possession of a controlled substance and released on $10 grand bail each this morning.  No confirmation on what it was they were smoking but word is it wasn’t pot.  Complicating matters even further?  T.I. is currently on parole after serving seven months in federal prison for weapons offences.

Vapoir trail seems to be the new must have accessory for the youg, rich, and deeply stupid in the southwest.

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… She must be, now that the heat is on.  Puts on sunglasses – cue music.

Word out tonight that Paris Hilton is being charged with felony possession of a controlled substance (cocaine).   According to the police report, Paris asked if she could go to the washroom, the cops said no problem but asked to check her purse first which is when they discovered the coke.  Even better, Paris said she thought the coke was initally gum when asked about it.

In addition to the .08 grams of coke, which Paris is now saying was planted into the purse that she initially claimed wasn’t hers, the cops also found a broken tablet of Albuterol, an asthma medication and a package of rolling papers.

You just know Paris was probably planning on flushing everything down the sh*tter and wasn’t counting on the cops searching her bag.  As for her gun toting boyfriend, Cy Waits, he’s been charged with DUI and has been sacked from that Vegas nightclub he ran (not so much the owner as a manager it turns out).

If Paris is found guilty, she could face up to four years in prison.

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After his umpteenth (ok, seventh) accident driving while higher than a kite, George Michael has decided to admit that things are getting a little out of control and has toddled off to rehab for some treatment.  

Apparently, George spent two weeks in some treatment facility in London (wonder if he ran into Amy Winehouse) which is now being followed by out-patient care.  George mentions he’s going several times per week.

In a letter on his website , George writes that he’s overwhelmed by the support and what have you that fans are giving him.  George refuses to go into detail about what went down in his latest car crash as his court case is still ongoing.

Who’s kidding who?  This isn’t so much about getting clean as it is avoiding jail time and not losing his driver’s license permanently.  Be interesting to see if the courts buy into George’s ploy or not.

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You’d think that after getting caught twice this summer already she’d learn to hide her stash better. 

Paris was a passenger in a vehicle in Vegas, which was pulled over due to a “smoke trail” just outside the Wynn Hotel where her boyfriend owns a nightclub.  The driver was charged with DUI, and when the police searched Paris, they found a “substance” that turned out to be cocaine when tested.

Uh-oh.

Getting busted in South Africa and France for a little bit of weed is one thing (easier to pay off people) but getting caught with coke in the notoriously anti-drug US is another.

No word how much of the drug was found on Paris, but after being booked she was released on her own recognizance.  Anyone else sense a stint in rehab as part of a plea bargain deal coming up?

Update – Paris’ latest addition to her collection of Mug shots (what are we at now, five?  Apparently, Paris is using the classic “The purse wasn’t mine” defense.

Bitch, please.

Meanwhile, Paris’ lawyer released this unintentionally hysterical statement to the media. ”Paris Hilton was released this morning on her own recognizance. This matter will be dealt with in the courts not in the media and I encourage people not to rush to judgment until all of the facts have been dealt with in a court of law. There will be no interviews and no more comments at this time.”

Not rush to judgement?  Where would the fun be in that? 

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Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.  Especially one with a set of keys that knows where you park your car like in that Carrie Underwood song.

Apparently, Mark Salling (Puck) and Naya Rivera (Santana) were something of an item, and by “something”, I mean she seems to have been under the impression that she was his main squeeze, while he was under the impression that theirs was a casual relationship.

Uh-oh.

According to US , Naya and some of her friends pulled a real number on Mark’s Lexus (messing with a guys car is a major no-no) by keying it.  Because acting like an insanely jealous vandal always solves everything.  No word if Mark plans on pressing charges, insisting Naya pay for the damages, or if he’s just going to let it slide.

Curious to see how this plays out, only because if the roles were reversed, there’d be a total poo storm over it, with people demanding that charges be layed and Mark’s character be written out of Glee.

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Marsha Revel, the no nonsense Judge that sentenced Lindsay to 90 days behind bars for probation violation (she gets an A for effort) and another 90 days in rehab immediately after, has removed herself from the case.

Apparently, a prosecutor alleges that the Judge had inappropriate contact with a rep from rehab center Morningside before being convinced to switching Lindsay’s treatment program to the UCLA Medical Center.

Before any legal motions could be filed, Revel removed herself from all future proceedings, handing the whole sordid mess over to Judge Elden Fox.  You just know Dina Lohan is trying to figure out if this is worth celebrating or not.

One Judge’s loss is another one’s gain (I’ll let you decide which is which).

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Uh-oh.

Mia Farrow is either very brave or very stupid. 

In the Hague to give her version of events surrounding the blood diamonds that were given to Naomi Campbell, Mia Farrow basically said that Naomi was blowing smoke up the courts collective ass and pulled the wool over their eyes when she testified last Thursday.

Mia says Naomi knew exactly who gave her those “dirty stones” and what they were, telling the court, “She [Naomi] said that she had been awakened by men knocking at her door and they had been sent by Charles Taylor, who gave her a huge diamond.”

Mia says that Naomi told her she would donate the diamond to charity, but she was quite excited about it.  “It was sort of an unforgettable moment”.

Naomi had said she had given them to Jeremy Rattcliffe who ran a Nelson Mandela Children’s charity.  Ratcliffe initally denied ever receiving them, but after Naomi’s testimony, he handed them over to the authorities and is now under investigation himself.

Apparently, if your caught giving false testimony to the Special Court for the Sierra Leone, offenders can face up to two years in prison.  Naomi might find herself even more inconvenienced than she was previously, and Mia might want to invest in a football helmut, as Naomi probably has a BlackBerry with her name on it.

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Uh-oh.

This can’t be good.  First comes inconvenience, then comes exasperation, followed by anger, rage, flying Blackberrys and staff beat-downs.  The Netherlands better put itself on high alert.

While in the Hague giving testimony today on receiving blood diamonds from Charles Taylor in 1997 , angry super-model Naomi Campbell made it crystal clear to all her thoughts on being forced to testify, saying “”I didn’t really want to be here. I just want to get this over with and get on with my life, this is a big inconvenience for me.”

As to receiving the blood diamonds, Naomi says this sort of thing is par for the course for a super-model like herself . ”I get gifts given to me all the time, at all hours of the night. Sometimes without notes. It is quite normal for me to receive gifts.”

Naomi says she didn’t keep the diamonds for herself once she found out it was likely Charles Taylor who gave her the “dirty stones”, she gave them to someone she lobbed a Blackberry at to keep quiet Jeremy Ratcliffe (then head of the Nelson Mandela Children’s Fund) to use for for the charity.  Ratcliffe denies ever getting them.

They better make sure all throwable objects are out of her way once Naomi is finished there.  Hell have no fury like an inconvenienced angry super model.

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