So much for her staying out of trouble (at least peripherally) while on probation.

While Paris plans yet another reality show that will focus on the “real” Paris Hilton, which I assume is a lot like the pretend one we keep seeing, she was the passenger in creepy, gun totting boyfriend Cy Waits’ car while he drove over a paparazzi on Monday night.

Apparently while leaving a West Hollywood club, their car got swarmed by paps, after a few minutes, Cy gave the universal sign for “get the hell out of the way, we’re about to start moving” unfortunately one of the paps was too slow and got hit. Pap goes down!  Pap screams bloody blue murder! Pap calls cops! Pap sells story to tabloid!

Radar reports that after initially leaving the scene, Cy came back to take a breathalyzer and was issued a citation.  He’ll be due in court later this month.

Cue lawsuit in 5…4…3…

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Wait.  WHAT???!

Apparently, cranky Judge Eldon Fox overstepped his authority when he threw Lindsay into jail without bail yesterday.  (California State law guarantees bail for misdemeanors).

Although defense attorney Shawn Chapman Holley tried to object when Lindsay was handcuffed and taken away, the judge refused to listen to her (If nothing else, Lindsay is a polarizing figure). 

SCH turned right around and filed an appeal with the court, saying “”There is no question that Ms. Lohan is entitled to bail while her alleged probation violation is being adjudicated.”

Her appeal was heard by Judge Patricia Schnegg, who overturned the previous ruling and ordered Lindsay released on $300 000 bail just before midnight Pacific Time.  Lindsay’s latest bail comes with some strict conditions, including the return of the SCRAM ankle bracelet.

You just know Lindsay and Dina are going to be super smug over this latest plot twist, especially if Judge Fox gets his wrist slapped for trampling on Lindsay’s rights.  Her next hearing for probation violation is scheduled for October 22.

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The Big M seems to be unfazed by the unwanted attentions of Robert Linhart, a retired firefighter who showed up at her apartment building in NYC first on Saturday then again on Tuesday with an ice pick and signs that read “Meet me please”.

When arrested, the retired fireman told cops that he “won’t stop until he meets Madonna” and vowed that once released into the wild from either jail or the loony bin, he was ”going to go right back [to her residence] and do it again.”

Linhart was charged with criminal mischief, graffiti, and carrying a concealed weapon.  His hearing was yesterday afternoon and bail set at $20 thousand dollars.  The defense lawyer assigned to his case said “it’s not a crime to adore Madonna” (true) and that there were “no facts to support that ice pick was going to be used unlawfully.”  Weak.  

When asked if she was afraid by a local paper, Madonna answered “No” (this isn’t the first kook she’s dealt with in her 30 year career and she’s probably packing).

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It’s been a busy couple of  days for Lindsay.

After testing positive for coke and amphetamines (likely Adderall or meth) a bench warrant was issued yesterday by the judge now overseeing her case for Lindsay’s arrest.  Lindsay needs to show up for court Friday morning to answer for failing her drug tests.  Most are expecting her to be thrown back in jail, although “experts” are saying it’s highly unlikely she’ll spend the aforementioned thirty days she was told she’d serve for breaking the terms of her freedom behind bars (I’m guessing she spends about four).

Meanwhile, Radar was just trumpeting yesterday that Lindsay was on the verge of financial ruin, but it looks like they spoke too soon.  TMZ is saying the Lohans have settled that over the top lawsuit for $100 million against E-trade where they claimed a commercial with mention of a “milkaholic” baby named Lindsay was an obvious and damaging reference to Lindsay herself.

Apparently, E-tradeblinked and agreed to settle out of court.  No word on how much cash they had to throw the Lohan’s way, but Lindsay and Dina are said to be “very pleased” with the amount.  What a pair of con artists.

No more Lindsay posts til Friday (I promise), unless she runs someone over with her new car or does something equally newsworthy.

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Guess the cops found something on the prolific singer/songwriter (real name Peter Hernandez) who’s penned and performed hits this year with B.o.B (Nothing On You), and Travis McCoy (Billionaire) as well as his own hit with Just The Way You Are

Few details about his arrest are available, other than he was caught early Sunday morning with some naughty-bad-wrong substance in the washroom of the Hard Rock Las Vegas Hotel, where he had been performing the night before.

Bruno’s already made bail, he’s currently in Dallas, TX today doing radio interviews.  Right after an arrest?  Awkward.

What happens in Vegas doesn’t stay in Vegas after all.

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Remember the posts about Randy Quaid and his wife Evi?  Apparently, they’ve gone from ripping off hotels to illegally staying on other people’s property.  Talk about a downgrade.

The two trouble makers had been living in the guest house of some property in Santa Monica that they used to own before selling it years ago.  When the police showed up after getting a complaint about squatters, they found Randy and Evi.  The two claimed they still owned the property but that was disproven once the deed was produced.  A contractor also showed over $5000 in damages he believed was caused by the Quaids.

Randy and Evi were taken into custody and charged with felony residentual burglery and entering a non-commercial building without consent.  Evi was also charged with resisting arrest.  Bail was set at $50 000 each.

Since they were both still on probation from their last hi-jinks, this may not end well for either of them.  Stay tuned…

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First Adam Lambert now Russell Brand.  Clearly, celebrities are as mad as hell and aren’t going to take it anymore!

Apparently, Russell and girlfriend Katy Perry were living a teenage dream at LAX when a paparazzi allegedly tried to take an upskirt shot of Katy.  Russell startef giving the pap a beat-down (caught on the ever watchful lens of a TMZ camera), before being held by airport security.  The police were called and carted Russell off, charging him with battery.  Russell cooled his heels behind bars for a while, before being released on $20 000 bail.

Meanwhile, Katy (who’s pretty much shown the world everything under her clothes in her videos and magazine photospreads) took to her Twitter defending her fiance.

You know, if they really wanted to punish that pap and avoid a run-in with the law, all they needed to do was have Katy sing an acoustic version of Ur So Gay while Russell performed an interpretive dance to it.

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Drug mule and professional socialite Paris Hilton has reached an agreement with prosecutors in Las Vegas regarding her arrest last month in which she was found with .08 grams of cocaine outside the Wynn Resort.

In place of facing a felony conviction and jail time,  Paris has agreed to plead guilty Monday to two misdemeanors.  Paris will also pay a $2000 fine, serve 200 hours of community service, complete a drug abuse program, and be on probation for one year. 

Paris really will need to find a better place to hide her stash from now on.  No word with what’s happening to her creepy gun toting boyfriend Cy Waits, who was charged with DUI and lost his job in the wake of his arrest.  He should have known better.  Hurricane Paris destroys almost everything that she comes into contact with.

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Already?  Le sigh.

Looks like Lindsay’s life on the straight and narrow was neither that straight or narrow.  TMZ is claiming Linds failed a drug test last week.  If true it means she’s going back to prison.  Lindsay swears she didn’t fail any test (lies all lies!) but TMZ is holding firm.

Hopefully it’s not true.  Besides trading in her car for a spiffy white Porsche, Lindsay was just confirmed to host Saturday Night Live on Dec 4th (at least according to RadarOnline.com).

If she did indeed screw up again and is going to the clink for another time-out, there’s no way in hell the judge will let her work in NYC again.

Stay tuned…

UPDATE – TMZ is saying that cocaine was found in Lindsay’s system and that she failed more than one drug test.  Surprisingly in a series of Tweets that don’t at all sound like they came from her lawyer, Lindsay wrote, “Regrettably, I did in fact fail my most recent drug test.” 

“If I am asked, I am prepared to appear before judge Fox next week. Substance abuse is a disease, which unfortunately doesn’t go away over night.”

“I am working hard to overcome it and am taking positive steps forward. I am testing every day and doing what I must to prevent any mishaps.”

“This was certainly a setback for me but I am taking responsibility for my actions and I’m prepared to face the consequences.”

Notice how Lindsay is now playing the addiction card that shes been caught,  forgeting that she was triumphantly touting (along with Dina) that the doctors at UCLA Medical Center determined she wasn’t an addict just last month.

Even when she takes “full responsibility” it’s really not her fault.  Unbelievable.

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Looks like George’s really brief stint in rehab a few weeks ago to try to avoid jail for his most recent car accident while stoned (the 1395th time) had no effect on the judge over seeing his case.  

According to the BBC, George has been sentenced to two months in the big house starting today and according to British law, will spend at least half of it behind bars before being released on ”license” (parole). 

I think they should put George into a women’s prison instead of a men’s.  This is supposed to be punishment and George could end up fulfilling several standard gay-man’s fantasies regarding jail, uniforms, and group showers.

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