Followed by a mandatory stay in rehab.

Citing parole violation and skipping her alcohol education classes, Judge Marsha Revel sentenced Lindsay to three consecutive one month terms (90 days) followed by 90 days of rehab.  Lindsay has to turn herself in on July 20.  Due to overcrowding in the prison system, chances are Lindsay will only serve about a third of her sentence.

Lindsay of course had a hissy fit on the spot , crying, sobbing, and wailing.  Her biggest concern?  Lindsay immediately wanted the SCRAM device attached to her ankle removed (guess she wanted to squeeze two weeks of hard partying in before she goes to jail and rehab) but the Judge refused her request.

No word yet from Lindsay’s uber-stage mother Dina, although her obnoxious father Michael, and the famewhoring Dr Drew were on Larry King last night talking about it.

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This is going to get interesting.

Remember Mel Gibson’s smug looking baby-mama, and professional gold-digger, Oksana Gregorieva?  When she and Mel parted ways earlier this year, she said rather cryptically, “We have split up, suddenly and recently… Unfortunately, I cannot give you the reason, but you will find out everything quite soon.”

How soon is now?

Apparently, Oksana’s lawyers requested an emergency hearing with a judge Monday, asking for a restraining order against Mel.  Oksana claims he beat her in January, while some source implied to TMZ  emotional and verbal abuse continued to occur after.  If  these claims are true, why didn’t Oksana get a retraining order or go the police the second she left him, or is this just part of her shakedown attempt? (Come on, we knew there was bound to be one).

Meanwhile, realizing things were about to hit the fan, Mel toddled down to the courthouse to get his own restraining order against Oksana, which  includes a gag order (sorry Oksana, no high paying exclusive interviews with the tabloids for you), and grants him access to their daughter, Lucia.  Since the case is sealed, the rest of deets are unavailable.

Cue countdown for a he said/she said battle of words in the media, all attributed to anonymous sources.

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…World falls off axis.

Giving her bragging rights (trust, she will about this) Lindsay’s pee pee test came back clean for sweet, sweet, booze after her SCRAM device went off at an MTV Movie Award after party.

Lindsay’s lawyer says her client doesn’t know what triggered it.  Dina Lohan had said someone had spelt a drink on Linds at the party, while Lindsay got herself interviewed by Star Magazine to bitch about all the lies that have been told about her and how it’s hurting her career. 

What?

Either her SCRAM anklet is on the fritz or Lindsay’s figured out a way to over-ride it and pass her tests.  Do they do body cavity searches before she goes into the washroom to do her business?  If not, they way want to start.

Lindsay’s court date for parole violation is July 6th.

UPDATE – Not so fast!  Check this update from Radar that says Lindsay’s “alcohol level ranged from .03 to .04 from midnight to 3 a.m on June 6, during the hours after the MTV awards.” According to a source close to the situation: “There was absolutely no doubt that Lindsay was drinking, and the report that the alcohol monitoring service provided to Judge Revel was very detailed and extremely reliable. The (SCRAM) report also says that Lohan’s SCRAM bracelet had indeed been tampered with, and this is one of the reasons that Judge Revel determined that Lindsay violated terns of her bail.”

Ooooo… the plot thickens (not really)!

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I’ve been going to the wrong places for my vacations.

Has-been Jeremy London (Party of Five, 7th Heaven), is claiming that two dudes kidnapped him outside of a Palm Springs hotel while he was changing a flat tire, forcing him at gun point to smoke crack, drive around and buy and drink booze. 

Join me and just about anyone who ever saw that episode of Six Feet Under with David getting kidnapped by a crackhead as we nod and say, ”uh-huh”.

Anyhoodle, Jeremy, who has gone on the record about his battles with addiction to People magazine in the past and was in rehab last year, allegedly escaped around 3am and went to the cops.  The police found his car some time later and arrested two suspects. 

Can’t wait to hear the suspects version of events (assuming they remember any of it).

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It’s probably going to be one of  the few remaining options left to him.

Chris Klein (American Pie) was busted on suspicion of driving under the influence in LA when the cops spotted his car driving erraticly on the 101 freeway around 3:30 in the morning.

TMZ is reporting that Chris had a major case of the drunks, failing his sobriety test by blowing a .20 on the breathalyzer (California’s limit is .08)

 This is Chris’ second DUI, the first was about five years ago, right after he got dumped by Katie Holmes for her totally non-arranged and un-contrived relationship (and eventual marriage) to Tom Cruise.

Chris ended up being sentenced to five years probation for that DUI, so he’s completley SOL for this one unless he gets himself a really good lawyer.

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Looks like Perez  Hilton’s legal team had a chat with him yesterday about that photo he posted (and removed) to his Twitter account of Miley Cyrus getting out of  a car in a short dress while supposedly going commando.

Perez says all the fuss is silly since it was a joke of some sort. ”Do you think I’m stupid enough to post a photo of Miley if she’s not wearing any underwear down there? No! Sure I like to seem controversial, but I don’t want to go to jail.  The reason I linked to that photo was I thought she was exiting this car in a very unlady like fashion.  People, snap out of it!” he said on a message posted to his website, along with the picture of Miley (left) that shows a circle around her panty-line wearing the same outfit as the the picture he posted the other day.

Here’s the thing though, Perez could still be in hot water, as the law is such that if you photoshop and distribute a picture of a person under 18 to make it look like their bits are showing (even if it’s clearly fake) you can still be charged as if it’s the real deal.

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For the second time in four months, one of Charlie Sheen’s cars has allegedly been stolen and driven off a cliff near his home.

Apparently cops found his car at the bottom of a cliff off Mulholland Drive around 3am this morning.  Charlie swears that he know nothing about this as the last time he saw his car was when he left it in his driveway the previous afternoon with the keys in the ignition (insert eyeroll).

The police are thinking something about this smells to high heaven.  Word is they’re going to be reviewing the security footage from Charlie’s gated community in Sherman Oaks to see if they can spot who was driving the car.

Of course, there are all sorts of theories floating around today about who’s behind this, including Brooke Mueller (his coke-head ex wife), Denise Richards (the bitter ex-first wife), Charlie himself (crashing the car while DUI and leaving the scene), or Charlie’s drug dealer.   

Of course there is one other possibilty (as out there as it is).  Suicide.  If Charlie Sheen were riding you every day, wouldn’t you want to end it all too?

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Going commando while wearing a short skirt and getting out of a car is just asking for the world to get a glimpse of your bits, especially when your every move while out in public is constantly photographed.

So it was that Miley Cyrus joined an illustrious club who’s members include Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, Britney Spears, and Kim Zolciak when Perez Hilton posted the above picture (minus the blacked out part) to his Twitter account.

Although Perez warned people not to click if they were easily offended, click they did, and then the sh*t started to hit the fan.

Why?  Miley is 17, so posting that uncensored photo technically constitutes child pornography under federal law. Perez has since removed the image from his account after coming under fire online for posting it in the first place.

The big question is, will there be legal fallout or will Perez end up getting punched in the face again at this year’s Much Music Video Awards in Toronto?  Miley is co-hosting and Perez tends to show up for it.  

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More deets are coming out about January Jones’ car crash last night where she left the scene because of the paps.

Word is January met Bobby Flay while watching the game and got his number to give to her designer as she’s remodeling her kitchen.  After January left the hotel and had her car accident where she hit the three parked cars, she called Bobby and he came to see if she was all right.  Bobby claims he doesn’t know why she called him (sure he doesn’t).  Apparently, it was his idea for her to leave the scene of the accident, so January gave her license to one of the witnesses and took off.

When January came back less than an hour later, she had changed her clothes and was chewing gum.  Another witness says that they didn’t see any paps around after the crash and that they smelt booze on January’s breath before she took off, but Bobby says as far as he knows, she only had one beer at the hotel bar where they were watching the Lakers game.  Police told witnesses at the scene that a sobriety test would be useless since January could have had a drink at home to calm her nerves. 

If you were giving your computer monitor the cut eye while reading this story, you should have seen me while writing it.  However, the police seem to be buying it.  Nicely played.

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Some 17 year old kid’s parents are claiming Jodie Foster went all Woman! In! Peril! on their son’s ass when he took a picture of her in the parking lot of some LA area mall.

The boy’s father, who spoke to  Radar anonomously (red flag # 1) said, “He saw Jodie Foster and is a big fan so went over and took a picture of her. She came after him, poked him in the chest and said, ‘Do you even have a mother you slime ball?’ Jodie pushed and shoved him leaving scratches and bruises on his arm. He didn’t mouth back at all and was scared of her. At one point Jodie’s son even came over to my son and apologized. Her kids were really embarrassed. This left a really bad impression on my son about her. He used to be a big fan and now he has a bad taste in his mouth. He’s a good kid; kind of small for his age. There was no threat to Jodie.”

The police report submitted had Jodie’s name spelled incorrectly (red flag #2). 

Jodie’s spokesminion contacted People, saying “This guy was most definitely a professional paparazzo. He had a large camera bag and 1000mm telephoto lens. He tailed Jodie and followed her all the way from the movie theater to the valet. He crowded her and her two young children and took photos of them the whole time. This guy’s behavior was completely inappropriate. and the police report is a fabrication of the incident.”

How long do you think it’ll take for a lawsuit to be launched?  Start the countdown….now!

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