Uh-oh.

This can’t be good.  First comes inconvenience, then comes exasperation, followed by anger, rage, flying Blackberrys and staff beat-downs.  The Netherlands better put itself on high alert.

While in the Hague giving testimony today on receiving blood diamonds from Charles Taylor in 1997 , angry super-model Naomi Campbell made it crystal clear to all her thoughts on being forced to testify, saying “”I didn’t really want to be here. I just want to get this over with and get on with my life, this is a big inconvenience for me.”

As to receiving the blood diamonds, Naomi says this sort of thing is par for the course for a super-model like herself . ”I get gifts given to me all the time, at all hours of the night. Sometimes without notes. It is quite normal for me to receive gifts.”

Naomi says she didn’t keep the diamonds for herself once she found out it was likely Charles Taylor who gave her the “dirty stones”, she gave them to someone she lobbed a Blackberry at to keep quiet Jeremy Ratcliffe (then head of the Nelson Mandela Children’s Fund) to use for for the charity.  Ratcliffe denies ever getting them.

They better make sure all throwable objects are out of her way once Naomi is finished there.  Hell have no fury like an inconvenienced angry super model.

Tweet This Post

Charlie Sheen must have great lawyers.

According to TMZ, under a plea bargain agreement with the DA’s office for that altercation in Denver last Christmas with his wife, Brooke Mueller, Charlie has been sentenced to 30 days in the Promises rehab facility in Malibu, where he’s already been in for a month. 

Charlie must also complete three months probation and show proof that he has completed 36 hours of counseling.  Charlie is also being credited for time already served, meaning he’s already completed his stint at Promises.

You just know that somewhere out there, Dina Lohan is fuming that Lindsay didn’t get similar treatment.

Tweet This Post

The Earth begins to spin again.

After being arrested yesterday afternoon for drunk and disorderly conduct, Snooki (Guidette Minimus) was let go by the police with a summons a short while later. 

Anthropoligists have found that the the Guidette Minimus is a creature of habit, so she’ll probably be at the beach again today working on her tan.  Is that Sierra Brown or Burnt Orange?

Tweet This Post

Maybe those are the fashion police to take Snooki away for wearing a bedazzled “slut” t-shirt in public.  You just know Vogue over-lord Anna Wintour would give her 40 years at hard labor on principal alone.

In a totally not staged set up publicity stunt to remind everyone that the second season of Jersey Shore is currently underway, cast-member Snooki was arrested for “disorderly conduct” on the beach in Seaside Heights NJ, earlier this afternoon while shooting scenes for the show’s third season. 

Maybe I’m missing something, but isn’t Snooki (along with the rest of the cast),  supposed to be disorderly?  Isn’t that the whole point of the show??

Fear not, fellow cast-member J-Woww is apparently on her way (along with the camera crew) to bail Snooki out.  No doubt this will end well.

Tweet This Post

According to Comic-Con organizers and the San Diego police, this is a total first in the event’s history.

Apparently, the moron in a Harry Potter shirt in the picture above got into a dispute over seating with another attendee and stabbed the guy in the side of his eye with a pen during the Resident Evil: Afterlife panel.

Ouch.

The man was detained by other guests at the scene until the police showed up and taken into custody.  Wonder if this will give the perp some much needed street cred at the next Star Trek convention he attends?

Tweet This Post

TMZ is saying Oksana (Gold-Digger) Grigorieva has voicemails that Mad Mel left her ranting and raving about various things as he is wont to do.  She plans on releasing them (maybe as a boxed set for Christmas?) to the highest bidder.  I sense a bidding war in the works between TMZ and Radar Online.

Speaking of TMZ, Gold-Digger supposedly had her rep go to them on her behalf, telling them that Mel had said he wanted “Jew blood on his hands” in apparent reference to TMZ over-lord Harvey Levine, for breaking the story on Mad Mel’s original anti-semitic rant back in 2006 (the Sugar-Tits debacle).  Gold-Digger claimed Mel told her he was having Levine followed, and planned to have him kidnapped, then left out in the desert beaten, naked, with broken knee-caps.  Gold-Digger says she went to the police, but Levine was never contacted by them and his minions at TMZ investigated, eventually dismissing the story as fiction.

As for the original tapes that started this whole thing, looks like it may have been Gold-Digger’s sister, Natalie, that sold the tapes to Radar Online.  Word is she’s being investigated by authorities as well as Gold-Digger and could be held in contempt of court, as the tapes were ordered sealed by the judge presiding over the custody case back in June.  Apparently, the tapes were shopped around, with most outlets saying no, as the sisters (come on, they’re  both in on it) wanted them to be purchased without anyone hearing any of them first.

Tweet This Post

Before you walk away in utter disgust with yet another post about these two, it gets interesting, so bare with me.

Word via the Hollywood Reporter this morning is that the LA sheriff’s department is investigating Oksana for extortion, because according to a source there, it was Mad Mel, not Oksana, that walked away from the $15 million dollar hush money agreement that they had and that’s why she started to tape his rants, which were eventually sold leaked to the media.  DUN!

Apparently, Mad Mel has a text from her that says “You broke your agreement”.  Granted, that could apply to anything, including promising not to lose his temper and yell, but there are allegedly other messages that make it pretty clear there was a shakedown attempt going on.

Oksana’s lawyer also had his knuckles rapped by the judge for failure to disclose to the court about the $15 million dollar settlement that fell apart. Although Oksana’s lawyer tried to explain that her actions (including waiting months to get a restraining order) were caused from bad legal advise, the judge was having none of it and said that he found those explanations both ”disturbing” and “disingenious at best”.  The judge also ordered the tapes sealed, hence Oksana’s prior clam that she doesn’t know who’s leaking them, but thinks “it’s terrible”. 

Bitch, please.

Neither Mad Mel or Gold-Digger’s spokesminions are talking about this latest wrinkle in the ongoing drama.  Stay tuned….

Tweet This Post

I’m so tempted to make a joke about this being another one of Jen’s showmances to help promote a movie, but I won’t.

Jason Peyton, a 24 year old schizophrenic with a history of violent behavior is cooling his heels in an LA psych ward on a 5150 (mandatory three day evaluation when it’s feared your a danger to yourself or others) after family members alerted police he was on his way to California to marry Jen.  A restraining order has also been issued requiring Peyton to keep at least 100 feet away from Jen, assuming he gets released.

The police found Peyton lurking in an area he believes Jen frequents in his car which subtly had “I Love Jennifer Aniston” scratched into it’s side.  They also found a bag full of messages and baby names of the child he intends to  have with Jen, along with a shank and some duct tape.  Police say Peyton had been looking for her for eight days before they found him.

As for Jen herself, she’s currently out of town in London launching her fragrance, which is now apparently going to be called Jennifer Aniston: The Fragrance.  Pfffft.  Why won’t they call it Abandoned?

Tweet This Post

This is becoming a regular occurance for Paris the Heiress.

Just before the World Cup final last week, Paris got detained while in South Africa for possession of marijuana (gasps – clutches pearls in horror), but was released when her minion took the fall for her after Paris paid both the authorities and her minion off.

Now comes word via TMZ that Paris got caught on the island of Corseca off the coast of France with more weed (albeit less than a gram) while on her way to Italy yesterday afternoon.   

Apparently, Paris was detained briefly before being allowed to go on her merry way after yet another bribe.  

Although Paris denies any of this happened, me thinks the lady doth protest too strongly.  She also needs to find a better place to hide her stash while traveling.

Tweet This Post

It seems like it, doesn’t it?   I’m really starting to get sick of these two morons.  Anyhoodle, moving on…

After several more tapes over the past couple of days of Mel going off like a longshoreman with Tourette’s Syndrome and a respiratory problem have been leaked, Radar is now giving us a break from the audio version of the lunacy and posted a picture that was supposedly taken after Mel punched Oksana in the face (twice), breaking her teeth while she was holding their kid.

Mel is an absolute asshole to be sure, but it seems more and more likely that not everything is exactly as it appears. 

There’s a lack of a split or swollen lip (collagen injections notwithstanding) for someone who just had their teeth knocked out/chipped in that photo.  The story was that one of her teeth had been knocked out, but the photo looks like the before pic of someone getting veneers, speaking of which, Oksana’s dentist claimed she wouldn’t look at the camera when the photo was taken, but she’s clearly looking at it in the photo Radar released.   Perplexing!

Also?  An audio forensics expert was on Good Morning America the other day and said those tapes were certainly doctored.  Yes, Mel said the words, absolutely.  However,  Oksana was a recording artist back in Mother Russia.  Stands to reason she’d know a couple of sound editors.  Hmmmmm.

Meanwhile, the judge handling Oksana and Mel’s custudy case refused to take away his visitation rights (even though he’s being investigated for domestic violence).  Mel’s ex-wife Robyn went on the record supporting Mel saying he was never violent to her or their kids in almost 30 years of marriage.

Apparently, Mel’s legal team will be meeting with LA County Sheriff’s Department, pushing for an investigation into Oksana, who they say was trying to extort money from Mel with these tapes and photo(s).

The big question though, is why hasn’t Gloria Allred become invloved yet?

Tweet This Post