When word came out that Angelina Jolie and Johnny Depp were going to be starring in a movie together, it was pretty much a foregone conclusion that the tabloids would be having a field day with it.

After all, to much of the Soccer Mom Brigade, Angelina Jolie represents the “other” woman, the beautiful hussy that will use her feminine wiles to lure away your, yes your man!  It doesn’t help that she was rumoured to have pursued and ended up having relationships with men that were currently attached to others at the time, first with Billy Bob Thorton (from Laura Dern), then Brad Pitt from the now sad, lonely, and chronically abandoned Jennifer Aniston.

The New York Post is starting the charge, claiming that once Johnny Depp’s partner (they’re not married) Vanessa Paradis found out that about a love scene in the script for The Tourist she’s been “demanding” that Depp quit the movie.

Some source (Aniston lowering her voice?) told the Post “Vanessa found out that there was a real long and intense love scene between [Depp] and Jolie. He’s currently trying to [get out of the movie], but I don’t know if he’s succeeded. But he’s trying and they’re talking about replacing him with Brad Pitt or Leonardo DiCaprio.”   

Yeah, I’m not buying any of this either.  Principal photography has started in Venice, Italy and Johnny has been reporting for work as required.  Angelina and her whole family is there to, probably to try and stem the reports that she and Depp are trying to find “moments” to be alone together.

The folks at Celebitchy made an interesting observation.  The Post is owned by News Corp (Rubert Murdoch’s company) which also owns The News Of The World, the tabloid which is currently being sued by the Jolie-Pitts over that break-up story that went viral and was reported worldwide last month. 

Speaking of the Jolie – Pitts and tabloid f*ckery….

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Well, a good portion of it at least. 

Lest you think I’m picking on a certain area, to me, Middle America (much like the Soccer Mom Brigade) is more of a state of mind than a physical place.

In her interview with Barbara Walters airing this Sunday, Mo’nique gave her thoughts on monogamy, saying “Could Sid have sex outside of his marriage with me? Yes. That’s not a deal-breaker. That’s not something that would make us say, ‘Pack your things and let’s end the marriage. What if it’s 20 times? So what? We’ve been best friends for over 25 years, and we truly know who we are. Oftentimes, people get into marriages and they don’t know who they’re laying next to. I’m very comfortable and secure with my husband.”

The more she speaks, the more I like her.  Of course there’s bound to be all sorts of feigned outrage from various groups shrieking about the sanctity of marriage and what have you, but I think it’s refreshing that she’s upfront about it. 

Sex, love, commitment, and desire aren’t complete absolutes.  Several high profile celebrity couples could have spared themselves a lot of scrutiny and write-ups in various media outlets had they been as honest and candid.  Just sayin’….

Quick, someone needs to pass the smelling salts to middle America, I think it has the vapours.

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Looks like the first graduate of the Rachel Uchitel and Nicole Forester School of F*ckery has passed with flying colours.

Stefani Talbot a 25 year old stripper from Oregon has gone running to both the Enquirer and In Touch to talk about her affair with Matthew Fox (LOST).

According to Steph, “I was dancing onstage, and I made eye contact with him immediately. I got so excited when I thought about all the money I could make off of this if I played my cards right.  He asked me, ‘Why are you working in a place like this?’ I told him that I am a single mom and needed the money.”

That should have been Fox’s first clue to get away from her as fast as he could. 

Steph goes on to say that Fox didn’t have a wedding ring that she can remember or mention a wife or kids.  Apparently, protection wasn’t bothered with when they hooked up (cue possible pregnancy announcement when she burns through the money for the interviews with the Enquirer and In Touch).  She also says that he didn’t tell her “to keep it a secret or anything.”

Of course, Steph says she can prove all of this as she has text messages and voice-mails. 

Fos his part, Fox’s spokesminion says Steph is a lying liar who lies. 

Here’s the thing, if it’s lies, Fox should sue her ass for slander.  Even if it’s just to get an apology since the “poor single mother, trying to make ends meet” card will surely be played.   I’m sure they met.  I’m sure Talbot gave him a lap dance too.  They either screwed around or not. 

Either way, she probably tried to blackmail him and then went to the tabloids when that didn’t work out. 

Another possibility is Fox left a trail on purpose, wanting to get caught in order to get out of his marriage.  Sounds weird and convuloted, but maybe he was trying to drive a point home or have the decision taken away from him.

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According to People (via The Hollywood Gossip) Cornish’s spokesminion confirmed she moved out of the house they shared, ending a three year relationship.

The split comes months after rumours and blind items started swirling that there was trouble in paradise in the form of some Tiger Woods like behavior going on.   Phillippe was previously married to Reese Witherspoon, a union which ended when Phillippe allegedly stepped out on her with Cornish.

No one’s talking (yet) about the reason for the split, as the spokesminion giving the “no comment” answer which might as well be akin to saying “three guesses and the first two don’t count”.

Guess Cornish forgot the golden rule for women.  Never date a man that’s prettier than you are.

As for Phillippe, something tells me he’ll be lonely for very long.  Hollywood’s full of sweet young things looking for well connected guys in the industry to introduce them to people that can help their careers.  If they happen to be hot, so much the better.

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Guess who’s staging a comeback?

After disappearing after his infamous car crash in late November, Tiger Woods has come out of hiding, seen yesterday jogging hear his home in Florida.

After showing the world how not to handle a major scandal (screwing just about every skanky ho that crossed his path and getting caught) now comes the tricky part, the relauch of the Tiger Woods brand.

Step 1.  A well timed photo op (this pic was taken by Team Tiger’s consent and was the only photographer there).

Step 2. Press Conference – this is happening tomorrow.  Tiger will address the issue (no questions allowed).

Step 3 and beyond.  Re-image branding.  Clearly, Tiger’s going to try to prove he’s a committed family man.  Winning a golf tournament or doing well to show he’s still “got it” is also a top priority.  After that, getting some of those lost endorsement deals back or replaced will also be high on the “to do” list.

We may enjoy it when the rich, privileged and powerful fall, (let’s admit it, schadenfreude is the reason so many blogs like this one are popular) but we also like it when those that fall pick themselves up and stage successful comebacks.

Should be interesting to see which of the skanky hos he hit it with tries to cash in on the renewed attention to this story.  My money’s on Faithless Hussy and the porn star.

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You may have heard the expression “extending an olive branch”, a symbol of peace and reconciliation for centuries.  What does it mean when you take that extra step in the gesture?

Word’s out this morning via multiple sources that Angelina Jolie has purchased an entire olive tree (for the super low, low, price of $18 500) for Brad Pitt as a Valentine’s Day Gift.

Does this mean there was trouble in paradise?  Maybe.  All relationships have their ups and downs.  Also, when you can afford (and pretty much have) everything, you have to get somewhat creative when buying prezzies for each other.

The olive tree is apparently 200 years old, purchased from a nursery near the chateau they own in the south of France and will be planted in the gardens there.  

Wonder what Brad’s going to get for Ange to reciprocate?  Chocolate, diamonds, an Olive Garden restaurant, or a new orphan?

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This story just becomes more and more bizarre with each passing day.

Long story short.  Sen. John Edwards, is that extra skeezy US politician who stepped out on his cancer stricken wife Elizabeth (who by all accounts was no real prize herself) with a woman named Rielle Hunter and fathered her kid, then had his equally creepy aide Andrew Young help cover it up, posing as Hunter’s significant other.

Of course the story broke and truth eventually leaked out, with people asking all involved various questions about their behavior and motives.  Elizabeth initially stayed with John, while Young went on to write a book about the whole thing (natch) then went on how there was a sex tape of Edwards and Hunter and that he’d be forced, (forced!) to sell it if people didn’t buy his book.

Rielle got wind of this and had a Judge slap Andrews with an injunction, forcing him to hand over the sex-tape (give it about six months and it’ll turn up on the Internet somehow).  Meanwhile, Elizabeth decided that John’s future prospects weren’t that good and quit his ass, filing for divorce long after anyone sane would have thrown in the towel.

Now comes word via ABC news that she’s suing Andrews of all people over her husband’s behavior, citing “alienation of affection” apparently mad that Andrew’s didn’t come to her beforehand when he became aware of the fling or just pissed that he’s getting his fifteen minutes of fame and money out of this.  Silly woman, haven’t you heard of “bros before hos?”

This sounds more and more like a convuluted plot from The Simpsons involving Mr Burns, Smithers, Burns’ mother and a guest character/star.

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Oooooo….Kitty has claws.

A couple of weeks ago, news broke via The News of The World that Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie spoke to some high powered attorney and worked out a separation agreement should they split. 

Of course, it got picked up by media all over the world and was run as fact by many outlets, even though The News of The World is about as reliable as OK!, In Touch, Life & Style and Star Magazine. 

Brangelina made a big show of being seen together (cue angels singing) at the Director’s Guild Awards about a week ago in response, as well as yesterday’s Superbowl (above).  Now they’ve instructed their lawyers to go get them a pound of flesh in the form of a retraction and an apology.  Brangelina angry!

The difference with Brangelina’s response this time is in direct relation to the size of the story itself.  Normally, the tabloids bullsh*t cover stories about them don’t get picked up by the mainstream media like this one did and go viral, thus potentially exposing their kids to it.

Word is The News Of The Worldhad a different story it was going to run with, but a last minute injunction left them scrambling for something to fill the space.  The Brangelina break-up piece probably seemed like a good idea at the time.

As for Brangelina, if and when they decide to call it quits, the resulting media poo storm will be on their terms, and no one else’s.

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Sure looks that way.

Reports circulating the Blogoverse today that Cameron Diaz hooked up with Alex Rodriguez over the weekend while both were at the Superbowl.  Apparently Cam was spotted “grinding away” on A-Rod during some party.

They very well may have hit it, but I can’t see her putting up with him for more than a weekend.  This girl is a tom-boy through and through.  Cam would probably label Alex Rodriguez as “high maintenance” and the thrill would be over by the harsh light of day, not that he’d probably care. 

A-Rod supposedly has lots of friendly ports to um…slip into in various cities throughout the country.

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Fresh off announcing last week that she’s a hoarder (except she isn’t really) on The Insider, and the rumour Friday that she threw a drink in ex-girlfriend Sam Ronson’s face in some club, comes word that Lindsay Lohan’s relationship with th DJ was violent.

Apparently, some source (Lindsay, Dina, or Michael, take your pick) told Radar that Lindsay said Sam beat and choked her one time.

While I’m sure the two of them probably had screaming matches complete with things being thrown at each other and out of windows, regardless of whether they were opened or not, I doubt it actually escalated to this point.

Cracked out as Lindsay is and as anti-social as Sam appears, neither one is stupid enough to physically assault the other.  Why?  First, they needed each other.  Sam was the only reason Lindsay was getting any mention in the press for a time, while Sam needed Lindsay to help make her an in-demand DJ.  Second, an assault would have meant game over, something neither could afford at the time.

These stories that come from nameless sources that quote things people allegedly told them once are as tiresome as they are ultimately unprovable.

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