The famewhoring father of Lindsay Lohan, who’s been appearing on all the tabloid shows he can recently, engagement to the equally odious Kate Major apparently came to a crashing halt when he allegedly went all Mel Gibson on her and pushed her out of a chair then kicked her in the face.

Police are investigating the allegations as Kate had previously got a restraining order against him (it’s worth noting that he’s been accused of domestic violence before).  Michael is now trying to sell nude pics he took of Kate while she was sleeping this past spring.  Charming.

Of his actions, Kate says “He took these pictures of me without my knowledge. At the time he was my fiancé. I have just found out about these images today and moving forward my lawyer, William O’Conner, will be handing the legalities of anyone that reproduces them.”

Lohan for his part says (without any apparent irony) “She has no money, no job and she’s been living off of me for the last eight months. If she doesn’t stop the nonsense, more and more will come out. I am tired of being used by people who need to make up stories to make money off others.”

Why would anyone want to see the z-list ex assistant of Lindsay Lohan, who became a Star Magazine reporter, only to quit her job to date Jon Gosselin, whom she then dumped for Michael Lohan naked?  

Try as I might, I have little sympathy for Kate.  You know what they say about lying down with dogs…

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Looks like Perez  Hilton’s legal team had a chat with him yesterday about that photo he posted (and removed) to his Twitter account of Miley Cyrus getting out of  a car in a short dress while supposedly going commando.

Perez says all the fuss is silly since it was a joke of some sort. ”Do you think I’m stupid enough to post a photo of Miley if she’s not wearing any underwear down there? No! Sure I like to seem controversial, but I don’t want to go to jail.  The reason I linked to that photo was I thought she was exiting this car in a very unlady like fashion.  People, snap out of it!” he said on a message posted to his website, along with the picture of Miley (left) that shows a circle around her panty-line wearing the same outfit as the the picture he posted the other day.

Here’s the thing though, Perez could still be in hot water, as the law is such that if you photoshop and distribute a picture of a person under 18 to make it look like their bits are showing (even if it’s clearly fake) you can still be charged as if it’s the real deal.

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Robin Hood re-teamed Russell Crowe with director Ridley Scott almost ten years after the major success of Gladiator.  The studio was probably hoping in re-teaming the pair, lightning would strike twice and they’d have another commercial and critical hit on their hands.  This was also supposed to be Russell’s comeback vehicle, even opening the Cannes Film Festival.  Russell was said to be ready and willing to promote the film, filtering the diva like behavior, bringing his game face, and not acting like a total ass.

What a difference a few days can make.

After reviews for the film have been poor to fair, calling into question things like the story itself and the casting of a 47 year old to play the main character, looks like Russell’s true personality is starting to resurface under the pressure. 

Although Russell hasn’t brained anyone with a telephone (yet), word via the Huffington Post is that he walked out of an interview with the BBC.  Apparently, the reporter had the gall to question Russell what accent he was trying to go for (supposedly it’s not consistent).  However, it was questions regarding Russell’s take on a recent book that has stories about his diva like antics on the set of Gladiator that caused him to walk out.

Nothing like walking out of the middle of an interview to prove to the world that stories of you being a difficult and high maintenance actor are all exaggerated.

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Breaking his self imposed silence since last making an ass of himself, everybody’s favorite narcissistic guitarist, singer, and songwriter John Mayer spoke at the “I Create Music” Expo about Twitter.

“Within in the last couple weeks, every night I think about canceling my Twitter account because I think it’s pretty much done.  I just think that Twitter, as a form of communication, I think it’s over to be perfectly honest with you.”

So is John pulling a Miley Cyrus, or is this his “I wish I could quit you” speech to the social media communication network?

“I would rather see Twitter be a cork board of links to other more important things, because it’s really sort of flawed from the beginning.  I can’t tell you how many times I meet people who write stuff and get upset they have haters now, like, ‘Why do I want to invent more reasons to have haters?’ … I might as well spend that time making a sandwich or building a model ship.”

“My challenge going forward is to basically disregard the need, the obsessive need for external validation.”

We’ll see how long this lasts.  Communication methods come and go.  Douchebaggery is forever.

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Jesse James was interviewed by People regarding his and Sandra Bullock’s (now just her) adoption of a baby and their upcoming divorce.

“My whole life has been full of hard decisions.”

“The decision to let my wife end our marriage, and continue the adoption of Louis on her own, has been the hardest. The love I have for Louis cannot be put to words. Not having him around to love and to hold has left a huge hole in my heart.

“Sandy is the love of my life, but considering the pain and devastation I have caused her, it would be selfish to not let her go. Right now it is time for me to beat this addiction that has taken two of the things I love the most in life.”

“I have always taken great pride in proving people wrong. That time has come once again to show that I am not what everyone says I am. I know in my heart that I can be the best father possible to my four children, and the mate Sandy deserves, and realize that this is an incredible mountain to climb. But I believe that the steps I have taken in the last 30 days are the foundation for making this happen. The lifelong commitment I am making is what being a real husband and father is all about.”

“I ask that you please do not judge Sandy for the things I have done. She has done no wrong. She played no part in any of this. She has been an amazing wife, mother, and best friend, for the over 6 years we have been together.”

Oh, Boo Hoo!  What’s all this “let her” crap?  Is he serious?? Did he even have a choice in the matter??? 

Even though there was allegedly a pre-nup that made cheating grounds for no money in the event of a divorce, Sandra’s probably paying him off (and well) to disappear quietly and not make any more waves than he already has.

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The “here” being South Beach, Miami.

The cast of Jersey Shore arrived the other night to start filming the second season of show.  Now that the name is something of a misnomer, should be interesting to see how MTV incorporates Miami or So-Be into it.

The gang wasted no time getting settled into their new digs before heading out to make spectacles of themselves.  GTL, (gym, tan, laundry).

In related Jersey Shore news, producers are now looking for more of the same to replace the originals if they want more money next season  “carry on the legacy“. 

A casting call went out to “non-haters” aged between aged 21 – 30 with the following requirements..  “Killer shades, awesome hair, bandanas and bling can mean only one thing. So if you’re a tanned and toned fist pumper, and you love the shore, we want to hear from you! Do you dominate the gym, tear up the dance floor and rule the bedroom? Prove it!”

Leonard Cohen was right.  “I’ve seen the future baby, it is murder.”

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Oh nos!  It’s on now!!

Just when we all hopedthought we heard the last of Ben Mills, the 23 year old that’s finding notoriety via Peaches Geldof and Eli Roth, he returned via Reddit earlier today in the UK where he posted that the  Bear Jew (Roth’s character in Inglorious Basterds) “hates him”, then went on to write this missive…

I’m glad to be back on Reddit and these comments are out of control in the best way possible. I never said I considered Eli Roth’s statement harassment, I actually find it quite amusing, as does my mom. I did in the heat of the moment write a letter back to him that could be either public or private, but I’m sleeping on it before I send it and I want time to edit it before I come out just bashing some guy. I will eventually challenge this dude to a cage match, which chances are I will lose, but f*ck it, how often do you get the chance to challenge the Bear Jew to a cage match after he tattletales to your mom. Chances are never. Also eventually I’ll do an AMA on this, but will definitely wait for this to cool down. Lastly, does anyone on Reddit know anything in depth on IP and copyright laws? I’ve received a ton of messages with people saying things about my story and pics getting picked up without me or Reddit being credited. How should I go about handling this, if in any way at all? Feel free to post here or message me privately. All in all I find this pretty funny, all this spawning from one quick post on Reddit when I was bored and erupting into possible fights with the Bear Jew. Proof that when someone tells your tits or GTFO you should always provide the tits.

Heh.   All this is going to do wonders for Ben’s career as an artist (and possible reality TV regular).

Love a good scene as much as anyone, maybe even more-so, and Ben and Eli sure seem to be intent on giving all of us one.

Start the countdown for a response from Eli Roth…5…4…3…

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Looks like Jon Gosselin is single again. 

InTouch Weekly (via Celebitchy) is reporting that Jon’s 25 year old girlfriend Morgan Christie has kicked his ass to the curb, deciding after a few months of dating that a 33 year old, dumpy looking,  unemployed father of eight just isn’t what she was looking for in a relationship.

Either that, or her wealthy parents threatend to cut her off, Morgan having gotten what she wanted out of it - invited to a few parties, made a spectacle of herself with him during Sundance, got mentioned in the press a few times, and horrified her family.  Mission accomplished, time to move on.

Wonder what Jon’s next move will be? 

Apparently, Jon’s said not to be happy about his ex-wife’s latest endeavor at famewhoring.  Kate is busy under-whelming people with her stint on Dancing For A Cheque (word is she’s going to bring in her litter to get the “awwwwww” vote), while ex girlfriends Hailey Glassman and Kate Major continue to debase themselves with their antics.

As for Morgan Christie, no doubt she’ll try to parlay all this into a career of some sort.  Count on it.

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Too harsh, or not nearly harsh enough? 

Word is Lindsay Lohan, she on the Tara Reid Express with no signs of slowing down, is now going to be designing hand-bags for Jon Gosselin’s favorite designer, Ed Hardy.

Blah.

Apparently, Ed and Linds decided to pool their collective talents as both were looking for a way to make money, stay relevant,  and in the media spotlight. 

Well, two out of three ain’t bad.

According to E!, some source (Dina disguising her voice), says that there are already “three collections in development…. Lindsay is very directly involved with the project, and she’s always pulling things online and from magazines for ideas”

Translation:  Linds flips through magazines in between bumps of whatever’s on hand  and makes note of other peoples work to rip off.

How long do you think it’ll take before Lindsay blows this gig as well?  Her much publicized job as “creative consultant” lasted all of one collection for embattled design house Ungaro.  Will Lindsay prove to be Ed Hardy’s undoing? 

Stay tuned….

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It’s been a while since we heard anything from John Mayer, but I suspect that’s all about to change with Courtney Love’s latest Twitter rant.

“do you ever feel like spite hate fucking @johncmayer just to put hi in his place, hes a better guitarist than me but not better in bed! but like say your fucking @johncmayer totally throwing him around the room in bits and then you just BAM punch him in the face? good times”

“ive said far stupider shit than @johncmayer about my alist bfs tho ive been discreet. but about rockers i spill the beans”

“oh dudes Mayers a little bland for me and youngish ill do young, but hes neither Yale Harvard Oxford and hes not really rock, so not for me”

“my genealogist and my gynocplogist know i do my Kegals like a snatch the cig off the table thai sex worker”

Thanks for sharing Courtney. 

Why can’t John Mayer’s Tweets be this much fun to read?

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