Oh noes!  Does this mean an end to our being entertained by John’s (non) clever musings? 

Thankfully, he’s still keeping his blog on JohnMayer.com, Tumblr, and  Facebook, accounts active to keep us entertained with his douchebaggery (if that’s not a real word/term it should be) and thoughts.

BTW, Radar is saying John and Jennifer Aniston hooked up in Atlanta this past weekend.  While it’s possible that John’s gone back to his old f*ck buddy, Jen has a movie coming out to promote, so I’m calling shenanigans.  This was probably a story planted by her spokesminon.

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Not on the court but in the stands.

Don’t know who started it or who said what to whom, but something tells me the words “fat” and “bitch” were used one too many times.  This is exactly why I refuse to sit in the nosebleeds at events, too much trash.

Remember when dealing with asshats, keep it chill, with your temper in check, and always, always keep your hands to yourself.  You never know who might be watching, or recording.

Update – Here’s another angle of the fight.  Apparently Chubs and her husband/father/whatever took offense to some of Junior’s language.  One too many f-bombs.  So like the two rational adults they are, they picked a fight with him rather than getting security, changing their seats, or just ignoring him.

All three were arrested and later released but have been banned from the US Open until 2013.  Cue lawsuits (cause you know they’re coming) and a possible offer for a reality TV show.

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It’s been a while since we heard anything from John Mayer, but now he’s back with a vengence via Tumblr, aiming his eloquently short but sweet musings (sarcasm) at The Huffington Post for having the nerve to suggest that he might be getting together again with his old f*ck buddy, Jennifer Aniston.

(You might want to take a bathroom break first, it’s that long winded.)

Ahh, Huffington Post, the internet Death Star. The world’s first spectator banking website. Come watch a site’s intelligence move in and out like bellows of accordion depending on whether or not there’s ad dollars to be sucked out of any willing orifice.”

 From their front page item “BACK TOGETHER?”:

Are John Mayer and Jennifer Aniston back on? Mayer seemed to indicate they might be when he spoke in front of a crowd of 18,000 at his concert on Sunday at the Hollywood Bowl in LA.

“I believe in second chances!” he said. “You might have been a pain in the ass the last time around, but you can still start over again from home base. Next time you get a text from the one you love just text back ‘come over’ – no matter what happened in the past. If you really love someone, just tell them and be with them.”

“Huffington Post, this is reporting? How do you pay your writers now, in Silly Bandz? Do you meet your sources in a malt shoppe? This is equal parts fabricated, cobbled together and misleading. Let’s break it down: I don’t think I ever said “I believe in second chances!” but I can’t be 100 percent sure, as it’s possible I could have accidentally said something succinctly and to the point. The next sentence is from the song “Half of My Heart,” in reference to the idea that meeting new people allows for hiding old mistakes. (Well, for most people at least.) The sentence about texting comes from the show’s encore, “Edge of Desire,” in a moment of giving people permission not to beat themselves down for still wanting someone. Two sentences about different things at different points in a concert.

The reason I’m calling you out instead of all the other magazines that make stories up out of thin air is that In Touch and Star Magazine aren’t concurrently writing pieces about Pat Tillman or WikiLeaks. Those other rags know who they are, and even if they’re obnoxious, I’d rather have to live with them because they (and the rest of the world) know where they stand, which doesn’t make them one tenth as dangerous as you are. You’re a stripper wearing reading glasses. Or maybe you’re an insolvent law student willing to dance for a few extra dollars. Either way, it’s uncomfortable to watch you try to wrap yourself around a pole when you have that C-Span scar.

I’m not a politician. I have no celebrity endorsements. So it is with a clear conscience that I’m able to title your piece on this post, should you decide to try make a few more bucks for whatever body wash or slasher flick you’re hocking today.

JOHN MAYER SLAMS HUFFPO: ” GO F**K YOURSELF!”

Wow.  Wonder what is it about the HuffPo piece that got under his skin?  Maybe sharing a headline with Jennifer Aniston after all this time hurt his ego.  Unlike his, her name automatically increases traffic to a site, even though it seems to have the opposite effect at movie theatres.

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What’s the title going to be, How To Pimp Out Your Kids For Fun and Profit?

Taking a cue from his ex-wife Kate who continues to write about her precious, precious little children while spending as little time with them as possible, Jon Gosselin is going to write about his parenting skills. 

Apparently, they’re so exemplary, he’s teaming up with “leadership coach” Sylvia Lafair, who’s worked with Jon over the past year to write a book about his role in raising the eight meal tickets.  An “insider” (Jon’s latest piece) tells Popeater that “Jon is still deciding what exactly the book will be about, but knows he wants to focus on his parenting skills” adding that interest in Jon from publishers is “huge”.  Yeah, this insider is totally being shtupped by Jon, both literally and figuratively.

The article goes on to say that the book won’t cover Jon’s very public separation and divorce from Kate, his party lifestyle with various young skanky famewhores, or that huge tacky Ed Hardy-esque dragon tattoo he recently got on his back .

Sounds like it’ll be riveting if it ever gets published.

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What’s that old saying about never invite the Devil to dinner an expect him to behave?

Word on the street is that organizers have lifted their embargo on the egomanical rapper and invited him back.  This isn’t so much about forgiveness and second chances as it is about ratings.

I’ll tune in just too see what happens with Kanye and Taylor Swift (probably nothing).  Don’t lie, you will too. 

Both MTV and Kanye remain coy on his participation, with both parties neither confirming or denying Kanye’s participation.  Well played.

For his part, Kanye took to his fave new toy, Twitter, writing “More music … I’m bout to drop a bunch of sh!t this yea … surprise performances … guest verses … living in the studio”

Kanye’s expected to release a follow up single to Power in the next couple of weeks or so, with his fifth album scheduled to drop later this fall.

The MTV Video Awards airs Sunday Sept 12th @ 8pm

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The famewhoring father of Lindsay Lohan, who’s been appearing on all the tabloid shows he can recently, engagement to the equally odious Kate Major apparently came to a crashing halt when he allegedly went all Mel Gibson on her and pushed her out of a chair then kicked her in the face.

Police are investigating the allegations as Kate had previously got a restraining order against him (it’s worth noting that he’s been accused of domestic violence before).  Michael is now trying to sell nude pics he took of Kate while she was sleeping this past spring.  Charming.

Of his actions, Kate says “He took these pictures of me without my knowledge. At the time he was my fiancé. I have just found out about these images today and moving forward my lawyer, William O’Conner, will be handing the legalities of anyone that reproduces them.”

Lohan for his part says (without any apparent irony) “She has no money, no job and she’s been living off of me for the last eight months. If she doesn’t stop the nonsense, more and more will come out. I am tired of being used by people who need to make up stories to make money off others.”

Why would anyone want to see the z-list ex assistant of Lindsay Lohan, who became a Star Magazine reporter, only to quit her job to date Jon Gosselin, whom she then dumped for Michael Lohan naked?  

Try as I might, I have little sympathy for Kate.  You know what they say about lying down with dogs…

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Perez says all the fuss is silly since it was a joke of some sort. ”Do you think I’m stupid enough to post a photo of Miley if she’s not wearing any underwear down there? No! Sure I like to seem controversial, but I don’t want to go to jail.  The reason I linked to that photo was I thought she was exiting this car in a very unlady like fashion.  People, snap out of it!” he said on a message posted to his website, along with the picture of Miley (left) that shows a circle around her panty-line wearing the same outfit as the the picture he posted the other day.

Here’s the thing though, Perez could still be in hot water, as the law is such that if you photoshop and distribute a picture of a person under 18 to make it look like their bits are showing (even if it’s clearly fake) you can still be charged as if it’s the real deal.

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Robin Hood re-teamed Russell Crowe with director Ridley Scott almost ten years after the major success of Gladiator.  The studio was probably hoping in re-teaming the pair, lightning would strike twice and they’d have another commercial and critical hit on their hands.  This was also supposed to be Russell’s comeback vehicle, even opening the Cannes Film Festival.  Russell was said to be ready and willing to promote the film, filtering the diva like behavior, bringing his game face, and not acting like a total ass.

What a difference a few days can make.

After reviews for the film have been poor to fair, calling into question things like the story itself and the casting of a 47 year old to play the main character, looks like Russell’s true personality is starting to resurface under the pressure. 

Although Russell hasn’t brained anyone with a telephone (yet), word via the Huffington Post is that he walked out of an interview with the BBC.  Apparently, the reporter had the gall to question Russell what accent he was trying to go for (supposedly it’s not consistent).  However, it was questions regarding Russell’s take on a recent book that has stories about his diva like antics on the set of Gladiator that caused him to walk out.

Nothing like walking out of the middle of an interview to prove to the world that stories of you being a difficult and high maintenance actor are all exaggerated.

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“Within in the last couple weeks, every night I think about canceling my Twitter account because I think it’s pretty much done.  I just think that Twitter, as a form of communication, I think it’s over to be perfectly honest with you.”

So is John pulling a Miley Cyrus, or is this his “I wish I could quit you” speech to the social media communication network?

“I would rather see Twitter be a cork board of links to other more important things, because it’s really sort of flawed from the beginning.  I can’t tell you how many times I meet people who write stuff and get upset they have haters now, like, ‘Why do I want to invent more reasons to have haters?’ … I might as well spend that time making a sandwich or building a model ship.”

“My challenge going forward is to basically disregard the need, the obsessive need for external validation.”

We’ll see how long this lasts.  Communication methods come and go.  Douchebaggery is forever.

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“My whole life has been full of hard decisions.”

“The decision to let my wife end our marriage, and continue the adoption of Louis on her own, has been the hardest. The love I have for Louis cannot be put to words. Not having him around to love and to hold has left a huge hole in my heart.

“Sandy is the love of my life, but considering the pain and devastation I have caused her, it would be selfish to not let her go. Right now it is time for me to beat this addiction that has taken two of the things I love the most in life.”

“I have always taken great pride in proving people wrong. That time has come once again to show that I am not what everyone says I am. I know in my heart that I can be the best father possible to my four children, and the mate Sandy deserves, and realize that this is an incredible mountain to climb. But I believe that the steps I have taken in the last 30 days are the foundation for making this happen. The lifelong commitment I am making is what being a real husband and father is all about.”

“I ask that you please do not judge Sandy for the things I have done. She has done no wrong. She played no part in any of this. She has been an amazing wife, mother, and best friend, for the over 6 years we have been together.”

Oh, Boo Hoo!  What’s all this “let her” crap?  Is he serious?? Did he even have a choice in the matter??? 

Even though there was allegedly a pre-nup that made cheating grounds for no money in the event of a divorce, Sandra’s probably paying him off (and well) to disappear quietly and not make any more waves than he already has.

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