The “here” being South Beach, Miami.

The cast of Jersey Shore arrived the other night to start filming the second season of show.  Now that the name is something of a misnomer, should be interesting to see how MTV incorporates Miami or So-Be into it.

The gang wasted no time getting settled into their new digs before heading out to make spectacles of themselves.  GTL, (gym, tan, laundry).

In related Jersey Shore news, producers are now looking for more of the same to replace the originals if they want more money next season  “carry on the legacy“. 

A casting call went out to “non-haters” aged between aged 21 – 30 with the following requirements..  “Killer shades, awesome hair, bandanas and bling can mean only one thing. So if you’re a tanned and toned fist pumper, and you love the shore, we want to hear from you! Do you dominate the gym, tear up the dance floor and rule the bedroom? Prove it!”

Leonard Cohen was right.  “I’ve seen the future baby, it is murder.”

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Oh nos!  It’s on now!!

Just when we all hopedthought we heard the last of Ben Mills, the 23 year old that’s finding notoriety via Peaches Geldof and Eli Roth, he returned via Reddit earlier today in the UK where he posted that the  Bear Jew (Roth’s character in Inglorious Basterds) “hates him”, then went on to write this missive…

I’m glad to be back on Reddit and these comments are out of control in the best way possible. I never said I considered Eli Roth’s statement harassment, I actually find it quite amusing, as does my mom. I did in the heat of the moment write a letter back to him that could be either public or private, but I’m sleeping on it before I send it and I want time to edit it before I come out just bashing some guy. I will eventually challenge this dude to a cage match, which chances are I will lose, but f*ck it, how often do you get the chance to challenge the Bear Jew to a cage match after he tattletales to your mom. Chances are never. Also eventually I’ll do an AMA on this, but will definitely wait for this to cool down. Lastly, does anyone on Reddit know anything in depth on IP and copyright laws? I’ve received a ton of messages with people saying things about my story and pics getting picked up without me or Reddit being credited. How should I go about handling this, if in any way at all? Feel free to post here or message me privately. All in all I find this pretty funny, all this spawning from one quick post on Reddit when I was bored and erupting into possible fights with the Bear Jew. Proof that when someone tells your tits or GTFO you should always provide the tits.

Heh.   All this is going to do wonders for Ben’s career as an artist (and possible reality TV regular).

Love a good scene as much as anyone, maybe even more-so, and Ben and Eli sure seem to be intent on giving all of us one.

Start the countdown for a response from Eli Roth…5…4…3…

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Looks like Jon Gosselin is single again. 

InTouch Weekly (via Celebitchy) is reporting that Jon’s 25 year old girlfriend Morgan Christie has kicked his ass to the curb, deciding after a few months of dating that a 33 year old, dumpy looking,  unemployed father of eight just isn’t what she was looking for in a relationship.

Either that, or her wealthy parents threatend to cut her off, Morgan having gotten what she wanted out of it - invited to a few parties, made a spectacle of herself with him during Sundance, got mentioned in the press a few times, and horrified her family.  Mission accomplished, time to move on.

Wonder what Jon’s next move will be? 

Apparently, Jon’s said not to be happy about his ex-wife’s latest endeavor at famewhoring.  Kate is busy under-whelming people with her stint on Dancing For A Cheque (word is she’s going to bring in her litter to get the “awwwwww” vote), while ex girlfriends Hailey Glassman and Kate Major continue to debase themselves with their antics.

As for Morgan Christie, no doubt she’ll try to parlay all this into a career of some sort.  Count on it.

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Too harsh, or not nearly harsh enough? 

Word is Lindsay Lohan, she on the Tara Reid Express with no signs of slowing down, is now going to be designing hand-bags for Jon Gosselin’s favorite designer, Ed Hardy.

Blah.

Apparently, Ed and Linds decided to pool their collective talents as both were looking for a way to make money, stay relevant,  and in the media spotlight. 

Well, two out of three ain’t bad.

According to E!, some source (Dina disguising her voice), says that there are already “three collections in development…. Lindsay is very directly involved with the project, and she’s always pulling things online and from magazines for ideas”

Translation:  Linds flips through magazines in between bumps of whatever’s on hand  and makes note of other peoples work to rip off.

How long do you think it’ll take before Lindsay blows this gig as well?  Her much publicized job as “creative consultant” lasted all of one collection for embattled design house Ungaro.  Will Lindsay prove to be Ed Hardy’s undoing? 

Stay tuned….

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It’s been a while since we heard anything from John Mayer, but I suspect that’s all about to change with Courtney Love’s latest Twitter rant.

“do you ever feel like spite hate fucking @johncmayer just to put hi in his place, hes a better guitarist than me but not better in bed! but like say your fucking @johncmayer totally throwing him around the room in bits and then you just BAM punch him in the face? good times”

“ive said far stupider shit than @johncmayer about my alist bfs tho ive been discreet. but about rockers i spill the beans”

“oh dudes Mayers a little bland for me and youngish ill do young, but hes neither Yale Harvard Oxford and hes not really rock, so not for me”

“my genealogist and my gynocplogist know i do my Kegals like a snatch the cig off the table thai sex worker”

Thanks for sharing Courtney. 

Why can’t John Mayer’s Tweets be this much fun to read?

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And call off their dogs.  But will they kiss and make up?

Apparently deciding that the potential lure of “Stubby’s” 8 little children to potential audiences ($ka-ching) was too great of an opportunity to miss out on, the network “has reached a settlement with Jon Gosselin and will be undertaking procedural steps to conclude the litigation. All terms of the settlement are confidential. The whole Gosselin family remain under contract with TLC.” the network said in a released statement.

Sound’s like Kate, black sheep of the TLC family Jon, and their spawn may all be back on the air before the end of the year.

Somewhere out there, Kate Major, Michael Lohan and Hailey Glassman are all losing heir sh*t over this, wondering how they can each make this story about them.

.

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My gawd.  The third John Mayer post in one day.  This is bordering on obsession and my computer is going to start to smell like Summer’s Eve if I’m not careful.  

Anyway, John Mayer, realizing that he was about to be flayed, crucified and then burnt at the stake in the court of public opinion over leaked comments from his interview with Playboy, offered a mea culpa by his favorite way of communicating with the unwashed masses, his  Twitter page.

“Re: using the ‘N word’ in an interview: I am sorry that I used the word. And it’s such a shame that I did because the point I was trying to make was in the exact opposite spirit of the word itself. It was arrogant of me to think I could intellectualize using it, because I realize that there’s no intellectualizing a word that is so emotionally charged.

And while I’m using today for looking at myself under harsh light, I think it’s time to stop trying to be so raw in interviews. It started as an attempt to not let the waves of criticism get to me, but it’s gotten out of hand and I’ve created somewhat of a monster. I wanted to be a blues guitar player. And a singer. And a songwriter. Not a shock jock. I don’t have the stomach for it. Again, because I don’t want anyone to think I’m equivocating: I should have never said the word and I will never say it again.I just wanted to play the guitar for people. Everything else just sort of popped up and I improvised, and kept doubling down on it…”

You know he reminds me of a dumbass I had to report to once.  Insecure, vapid, totally self obsessed and completley incapable of answering anything simply or quickly (lots and lots of words but very little said).  

So to sum it up, John Mayer may be a douche bag, but ensures us he isn’t a racist and that he’s very sorry.

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The problem always with John Mayer is that he can’t stop talking and thinks everything that comes out of his mouth is deep even when it’s just plain stupid or thoughtless. 

Case in point, more bits have leaked this afternoon from his Playboy interview, and the douchebag has finally nailed the lid on the coffin that is his image and put his foot in it this time. 

For reals.

When asked if black women throw themselves at him,  John Mayer responded, ”I don’t think I open myself to it. My dick is sort of like a white supremacist. I’ve got a Benetton heart and a f*ckin’ David Duke cock. I’m going to start dating separately from my dick.”

Oy-vey.

John then went on about a “hood-pass”, saying, “Someone asked me the other day, ‘What does it feel like now to have a hood pass?’ And by the way, it’s sort of a contradiction in terms, because if you really had a hood pass, you could call it a nigger pass. Why are you pulling a punch and calling it a hood pass if you really have a hood pass? But I said, I can’t really have a hood pass. I’ve never walked into a restaurant, asked for a table and been told, ‘We’re full.  What is being black? It’s making the most of your life, not taking a single moment for granted. Taking something that’s seen as a struggle and making it work for you, or you’ll die inside. Not to say that my struggle is like the collective struggle of black America. But maybe my struggle is similar to one black dude’s.”

Hope Mayer has a good PR team, because he’s really going to need them after this.  Wonder how many times he’ll get mentioned in US Weekly now? 

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It’s an unspoken rule that gentleman aren’t supposed to do this sort of thing, but John Mayer, being a certifiable douche-bag of the highest order, doesn’t fall under it’s jurisdiction.

You may also want to get some antibiotics after reading this post.

Speaking to Playboy (via US Weekly)  Mayer spilled about dating Jessica Simpson,  whom he banged dated from 2006 to 2007. 

“Yeah, that girl is like crack cocaine to me.. Sexually it was crazy. That’s all I’ll say. It was like napalm, sexual napalm. Did you ever say, ‘I want to quit my life and just f*cking snort you? If you charged me $10,000 to f*ck you, I would start selling all my shit just to keep f*cking you.”

Mayer also addressed rumours regarding his relationship with Jennifer Aniston, managing to not only imply that her career is starting to wane, but that she’s high maintenance.  Hee!  Neither one is exactly off the mark, but there goes any real chance of them ever hooking up again.

“There was a rumor that I’d been dumped because I was tweeting too much. That wasn’t it, but that was a big difference. The brunt of her success came before TMZ and Twitter. I think she’s still hoping it goes back to 1998. She saw my involvement in technology as courting distraction. And I always said, ‘These are the new rules.”

John Mayer then goes on to talk about how many women he’s been with since Aniston (which time?) and his future plans.  Consider yourselves forewarned.

“I’m going to say four or five. No more. But even if I said 12, that’s a reasonable number. So is 15. Here’s the thing: I get less ass now than I did when I was in a local band. Because now I don’t like jumping through hoops.  From now on I’m just going to pretend that people really dig the sh*t out of me. I’ve been trying to prove to people I’m not a douche bag by not dating, by keeping my name out of Us Weekly. That’s f*cked up, man. I’m not dating. I’m not even f*cking. So now I’m going to experiment with ‘f*ck you.’ In 2010 my goal is to get more mentions in Us Weekly than ever.” 

Ha!  I love it.  He manages to downplay the number of women he’s hit it with, while actually telling everyone the real number, cause he’s a total stud.  Then goes on to warn everyone he’s going to step up his douche-baggery (if that’s not a real word it should be) a notch this year.

Somewhere out there, Taylor Swift’s mother’s blood just ran cold.

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The Father and Ex-husband of the year (not to mention complete douchebag) has apparently approcahed the network, offering to hand over his kids allowing them to film his kids again if they back off on their lawsuit against him for breach of contract, according to Radar Online.

Guess things must be getting tight for him, what with a rumoured five figure per month child support payment he’s supposed to make and no viable way to come up with that kind of money being barred from famewhoring by court order.  Also?  He’s totally going to lose that breach of contract suit this spring and he knows it. 

TLC for their part, are having none of it, saying in a statement, “The Court has validated our view that Mr. Gosselin has a valid, binding contract and that he has breached it repeatedly. Step one – getting the court to order Mr. Gosselin to comply with his contractual obligations – has been accomplished. Any further breaches going forward will be violations of a court order. We look forward to the next phase of the litigation, which is to pursue our claim for damages resulting from Mr. Gosselin’s numerous breaches.”

In other words, Bitch is going down!

Jon’s lawyer responded with both a threat and a promise, saying “You haven’t seen the last of Jon Gosselin.”

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