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Not on the court but in the stands.

Don’t know who started it or who said what to whom, but something tells me the words “fat” and “bitch” were used one too many times.  This is exactly why I refuse to sit in the nosebleeds at events, too much trash.

Remember when dealing with asshats, keep it chill, with your temper in check, and always, always keep your hands to yourself.  You never know who might be watching, or recording.

Update – Here’s another angle of the fight.  Apparently Chubs and her husband/father/whatever took offense to some of Junior’s language.  One too many f-bombs.  So like the two rational adults they are, they picked a fight with him rather than getting security, changing their seats, or just ignoring him.

All three were arrested and later released but have been banned from the US Open until 2013.  Cue lawsuits (cause you know they’re coming) and a possible offer for a reality TV show.

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Card carrying members of Mensa that they both are (sarcasm), T.I and his wife Tameka (Tiny) Cottle were arrested for hot boxing, or pulling a Paris Hilton in West Hollywood last night.

According to TMZ, the two were booked for possession of a controlled substance and released on $10 grand bail each this morning.  No confirmation on what it was they were smoking but word is it wasn’t pot.  Complicating matters even further?  T.I. is currently on parole after serving seven months in federal prison for weapons offences.

Vapoir trail seems to be the new must have accessory for the youg, rich, and deeply stupid in the southwest.

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The owner of that RV company that Taylor Lautner is suing for failure to deliver his custom made trailer on time has an interesting response to the lawsuit.

Brent McMahon says that’s he’s willing to settle the dispute by having a pushup contest with the 18 year old actor while shirtless.  If McMahon wins, he says he’ll donate $40 grand to the Children’s Hospital of Orange County instead of paying Taylor damages, otherwise they’ll go to court.

So who do you think has te Taylor Lautner fixation?  McMahon, his wife, or some other family member?

Lautner’s legal counsil, Robert Barta isn’t having any of this, saying in a statement “McMahon RV’s response to our client’s legitimate claim further demonstrates the lack of professionalism that Mr. McMahon, his company and his employees have exhibited from the outset, and that compelled the filing of this lawsuit in the first place.”

Barta went on to say if McMahon donates the money to a charity of Taylor’s choosing (with no push-up contest) they’ll considered the matter closed.

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… She must be, now that the heat is on.  Puts on sunglasses – cue music.

Word out tonight that Paris Hilton is being charged with felony possession of a controlled substance (cocaine).   According to the police report, Paris asked if she could go to the washroom, the cops said no problem but asked to check her purse first which is when they discovered the coke.  Even better, Paris said she thought the coke was initally gum when asked about it.

In addition to the .08 grams of coke, which Paris is now saying was planted into the purse that she initially claimed wasn’t hers, the cops also found a broken tablet of Albuterol, an asthma medication and a package of rolling papers.

You just know Paris was probably planning on flushing everything down the sh*tter and wasn’t counting on the cops searching her bag.  As for her gun toting boyfriend, Cy Waits, he’s been charged with DUI and has been sacked from that Vegas nightclub he ran (not so much the owner as a manager it turns out).

If Paris is found guilty, she could face up to four years in prison.

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Talk about an indecent proposal.  

Jeff Mirranda, the famewhore who’s been dating the transsexual Oompa Loompa of Jersey Shore for all of four weeks, is proposing to her on the new cover of Steppin’ Out magazine.

Lest you wonder if Steppin’ Out is lowering it’s standards with this, previous cover subjects include Danielle Staub (Real Housewives of New Jersey) and embittered Jon Gosselin cast-off Haley Glassman, so that would be a “no”.

More details about Jeff Miranda’s past have also come to light.  Apparently an ex girlfriend had to put a restraining order on him for threatening to kill her and choking her.  In Jersey Shore parlance, that’s considered foreplay.

Jeff says that after Snooki “deals with the shock, I think she’ll say yes”.

Egads.  If Snooki does say yes (she’s just crazy enough to consider it), could a Jersey Shore Wedding Special be in the works?  Cue apocalypse.

source

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After his umpteenth (ok, seventh) accident driving while higher than a kite, George Michael has decided to admit that things are getting a little out of control and has toddled off to rehab for some treatment.  

Apparently, George spent two weeks in some treatment facility in London (wonder if he ran into Amy Winehouse) which is now being followed by out-patient care.  George mentions he’s going several times per week.

In a letter on his website , George writes that he’s overwhelmed by the support and what have you that fans are giving him.  George refuses to go into detail about what went down in his latest car crash as his court case is still ongoing.

Who’s kidding who?  This isn’t so much about getting clean as it is avoiding jail time and not losing his driver’s license permanently.  Be interesting to see if the courts buy into George’s ploy or not.

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Teresa Giudice, the neanderthalesque cast member of Real Housewives of New Jersey with garish taste and no self control when it comes to shopping is laying the blame for all her financial woes squarely at the feet of Bravo.

Huh?

Apparently, right after declaring bankruptcy, Teresa and her husband Joe dropped over $60 thousand on new furniture for their new home.  The judge overseeing their case felt this was a little excessive, basically saying for people who claim to have no money, they should stick to shopping at Ikea.

Oooooh, BURN.

Lest you think that they spent $60k on furnishing the whole house, think again.  Over $8 000 went to drapes, with another $45 000 dropped on wall hangings, mirrors, tables and chairs.  (All their old crap is up for auction October 3rd to pay their creditors). 

Teresa’s lawyer whined to People that “she needed to re-buy furniture because she didn’t have any furniture in the house.  It’s a big house and she wanted furniture consistent with her style on the show. There is nothing wrong with doing that, except that it doesn’t look good for her to be doing it.”

You think?  With legal advice like that, is it any wonder the Giudice’s are in trouble?  Cripes. 

Meanwhile, some insider (probably Joe) told Popeater ”Everything would be settled by now, but because she is now famous everyone is using the situation to get press for themselves and humiliate her and her family [cough- Danielle Staub-cough]. It’s honestly got to the point where she’s not sure if she wants to come back for another season.  Teresa is sick of everyone knowing all her private financial business.  She didn’t sign up to be on ‘Housewives’ so that everyone could look into her bank account. Millions of couples go through what they are going through, except no one knows about it. It’s just not fair.”

Ah, the seldom used after age 10 but always entertaining “it’s not fair” arguement.  It’s scary to think that people with this attitude have reproduced, no?

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Well, this is totally shocking (not really).  J-Lo is as demanding an employer as she (allegedly) is an employee. 

According to Life&Style (yeah, I know) Jenny from the block is seeking an assistant after the last one chewed through her restraints and escaped and the requirements are a real scream. 

“The person has to be graceful under pressure, have a thick skin, and be resourceful in foreign countries, among others things. You’ll be expected to travel at a moment’s notice and must know how to adjust in each city. The job is 6 days a week, at least 12 hour days with one day off, but you may not get off for weeks.  You’ll be on call 24/7 and you’ve got to be organized and always on point. You have to change diapers, work on little sleep and cook if the butler is away.  You have to know when J. Lo has her snack time. She won’t say she’s hungry, you’re just expected to have food waiting.”

Sounds like a lovely working environment.  So what is the salary for basically handing over your mind, body, and soul?  $55 to $65 thousand dollars a year (or $17.36 per hour, assuming the lucky canidate hired gets the high end wage).  Apparently, it’s considered a bonus at L&S that “you get to help” J-Lo dress for red carpet events and photo-shoots.

Snort.

No word if your expected to answer to “Peon”, watch J-Lo’s movies, listen to her music, and call her “beautiful” a set number of times per day.

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She’s probably wondering why she didn’t think of this particular road to famewhoring herself before, since it’s gotten her what she craves the most, exposure in the media.

Anyway, someone had the bright idea of having Tila Tequila sing at the 11th annual gathering of the Juggalos in Illinois over the weekend.

Juggalos are the hard core fans of the rap group Insane Clown Posse.  Need I explain more?  Once Tila came onstage to “perform” she apparently was hit repeatedly with bricks, fire-crackers, beer bottles and poo.  MC Tom Green did his best to distract the Juggaros, but having smelled blood in the proverbial water, they ignored Green for Tila.  Apparently, members of the ICP warned Tila things could go badly for her beforehand, “but she didn’t care”. 

Tila arrived back at LAX today, batterd and bruised, but not bowed.  After all, what are a few cuts and bruises when you get to make the interview circuit, TMZ, E!, Radar playing the victim card?  She hasn’t had this much press since her fake pregnancy then adoption last winter.

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By now you’ve probably heard of Steven Slater, the oh so fussy but fabulous  Jet Blue flight attendent who quit his job by announcing it over his last flight’s PA system, before grabbing two beers from the gallery and activating the emergency slide at JFK while the plane was on the tarmac after gettting into an altercation with a passenger.

Slater was arrested later at his home for reckless endangerment, criminal mischief, and criminal trespass.  He was released on $2500 bail and may spend up to seven years in prison if the Queens’ DA has anything to say about it.

Slater has now hired PR wizard and crisis management expert Howard Bragman to represent him, determined to squeeze every precious second from his fifteen minutes (14:56 and counting).  Apparently, the cranky and attention seeking ex-flight attendent has already been approached to host a reality tv show about the unusual way people quit their jobs.

Cue countdown for “pulling a Slater” (to quit in a huff in a spectacular and bridge burning way) to become part of the lexicon.  Reality bites.

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