Pure gold.

You knew given his narcissism and ego, it was only a matter of time before Kanye West, he of the ALL CAPS FORM OF WRITING joined Twitter.

Apparently, the stage rusher joined yesterday and it’s been one Tweet after another since.  Not sure if he’s hawking stuff on the social media network for money (although it wouldn’t surprise me).  Kanye’s new album drops this fall, so he’ll be using Twitter to help promote it.

Here are some instant Kanye classics.  May there be many more.

I specifically ordered persian rugs with cherub imagery!!! What do I have to do to get a simple persian rug with cherub imagery uuuuugh

Dating models I had to learn to like small dogs and cigarettes

awwwww man this is addictive I might get in trouble on here!!!!

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Would be contestants of the upcoming X-Factor should take note.

An embittered cast off from Britain’s Got Talentwho’s rendition of “You Raise Me Up” was bad enough to make me take a screw driver and swirl it around in my ears until Simon Cowell thankfully pulled the plug on her, is suing the producer and the show over the way she was treated.

Ema Czikai says that Simon hurt her feelings and disregarded a letter she wrote in which she explained that she suffers from a medical condition that can impair her singing voice, adding “I haven’t got a horrible singing voice when I sing in a fair environment that meets the needs of my particular disabilities.”  Emma says she filed the $3.8 million dollar suit to retain her “self respect and dignity”.

Bitch, please. 

Emma says she plans to give any money she’s awarded to charity.  No doubt. She should invest it in singing lessons instead.  Take a look at the clip below and judge for yourself.

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According to Comic-Con organizers and the San Diego police, this is a total first in the event’s history.

Apparently, the moron in a Harry Potter shirt in the picture above got into a dispute over seating with another attendee and stabbed the guy in the side of his eye with a pen during the Resident Evil: Afterlife panel.

Ouch.

The man was detained by other guests at the scene until the police showed up and taken into custody.  Wonder if this will give the perp some much needed street cred at the next Star Trek convention he attends?

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Why should she?  After all, she’s edgy and hardcore and so very very over everything at the ripe old age of 16 (you can tell by the raccoon makeup and permanently bored expression).

The model, singer (of course she’s in a band, she’s a bad-ass), and actress, who’s character on Gossip Girl is going from regular to recurring (never a good sign), was recently profiled in Disorder Magazine to promote her new album.

Among a couple of Taylor’s (non) thoughts was that her record “confronts issues and goes, here’s what f*cking sucks about everythingthing”.  Wow.  That’s like, totally deep! 

Taylor also says that she’s not into guys, before clarifying that she’s not a lesbian, just bored with men (because by age 16 you’ve been around the block so many times sex is dull) and that “her best friend is her vibrator”.

Ooooooh.  Shocking!!!  Except not.  Good plug (heh) for safe sex though.

As this annoying kid’s fifteen minutes continues to thankfully tick away (though not fast enough), expect more attempts to scandalize, shock, and attract attention, all while continuing to maintain that she dosen’t care, becasue Taylor is so…well, you know.

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Officials that approve public ads for the city of Montreal seem to think so.

Apparently, they told Pam that she couldn’t unveil her new ad that promotes vegetarianism as planned because it ” goes against all principles public organizations are fighting for in the everlasting battle of equality between men and women”.

What?

Considering the very liberal attitude Montreal generally has for anything to do with sex or sensuality, this is a bit of a head scratcher. 

Pam responded in a statement,  ”In a city that is known for its exotic dancing and for being progressive and edgy, how sad that a woman would be banned from using her own body in a political protest over the suffering of cows and chickens. n some parts of the world, women are forced to cover their whole bodies with burqas—is that next? I didn’t think that Canada would be so puritanical.”  Pam also added in a press conference,  ”I think they’re [the officials] confusing sexy with sexist”.

Of  course, any sort of scandal or conflict PETA creates is great news for them publicity wise, so complain as they might, I don’t think they’re too crushed or upset by the decision, as odd as it is.

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…and it’s going to cost him.

Kelsey Grammer, currently in the midst of divorcing the permanently 41 year old and Real Housewives of Beverly Hills cast-member Camille Donatacci, never had her sign a pre-nup when they got married back in 1997.

Cripes.  

This means in all likelihood Kelsey is going to have to fork over 50% of all earnings he made between then and now, a figure rumored to be at least $100 million.

Lets hear it for them folks!  Kelsey Grammer, new poster child for male pattern idiocy, and Camille Donatacci, gold-digger standard setter.

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Dina would probably try to involve Amnesty International over Lindsay’s imminent incarceration, but since they won’t pay her for an “exclusive” interview, she’ll probably bitch to one of TV’s finer tabloid journalism shows instead.

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These make that whole “Sugar Tits” thing from a few years back pale in comparison.

As you know, Mel’s ex-girlfriend, professional gold-digger Oksana Grigorieva claims that Mel beat her up this past January, leaving her bruised and with two broken teeth (she left him this spring). Mel and his legal team have denied this, claiming it was only a yelling match, with both sides issuing restraining orders on one another. 

Apparently, Mel is refusing to cough up the money Oksana is likely almost certainly seeking from him, and a tape was leaked to Radar last week, where the actor is heard saying, “You look like a f*cking pig in heat.  If you get raped by a pack of n*ggers, it’ll be your fault.”   

Now another tape has been released, where Mel tells Oksana “You know what?  You f*cking deserved it”, when she asks him what kind of a man would hit a woman twice in the face while holding a child in her hands.

Opps.

Oksama claims that she started to secretley tape Mel after he threatened to kill her.  No word yet if the police or Child Protective Services in Malibu have become involved, but it wouldn’t be surprising if they start an investigation. 

As for the probable shake-down attempt, I don’t think Mel will be forking over any money to Oksana now that she’s exposed him.  Do you?

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The very embodiment of grace under pressure.  What is she, 12?

Should be interesting when Lindsay has to face Judge Marsha Revel again in court (Lindsay will probably claim it was aimed at the media).  Too bad the Judge didn’t write “right back at you” on her gravel, before imposing the sentence.  That would have been awesome.

BTW – Dina has sprouted off on the sentence, saying “This is so not fair to do this to my child”. 

And right there is the reason so much of this is happening in the first place.

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About a year ago, Carrie famously said she didn’t support gay marriage during a Q&A session at a beauty pageant, which may or may not have helped cost her the crown (she believes it did).

After that, it was all downhill for her.  Carrie got fired by Donald Trump for being a raging bitch to everyone on his staff but him, and subsequent petulant, hypocritical, and increasingly paranoid behavior from the beauty queen made her the butt of jokes. 

Lawsuits, sex tapes, and disastrous appearances on talk shows (Live with Larry King, The View) to shill her quickie tell all book (which blamed the liberal media for her downfall) as the summer progressed just added to the spectacular trainwreck.

As for her marriage, I give it about three years.

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