Posts Tagged 'dumbasses'

Mel Gibson’s Greatest Hits, Vol. 2 & 3

These make that whole “Sugar Tits” thing from a few years back pale in comparison.

As you know, Mel’s ex-girlfriend, professional gold-digger Oksana Grigorieva claims that Mel beat her up this past January, leaving her bruised and with two broken teeth (she left him this spring). Mel and his legal team have denied this, claiming it was only a yelling match, with both sides issuing restraining orders on one another. 

Apparently, Mel is refusing to cough up the money Oksana is likely almost certainly seeking from him, and a tape was leaked to Radar last week, where the actor is heard saying, “You look like a f*cking pig in heat.  If you get raped by a pack of n*ggers, it’ll be your fault.”   

Now another tape has been released, where Mel tells Oksana “You know what?  You f*cking deserved it”, when she asks him what kind of a man would hit a woman twice in the face while holding a child in her hands.

Opps.

Oksama claims that she started to secretley tape Mel after he threatened to kill her.  No word yet if the police or Child Protective Services in Malibu have become involved, but it wouldn’t be surprising if they start an investigation. 

As for the probable shake-down attempt, I don’t think Mel will be forking over any money to Oksana now that she’s exposed him.  Do you?

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Lindsay Lohan’s special message to the Judge

The very embodiment of grace under pressure.  What is she, 12?

Should be interesting when Lindsay has to face Judge Marsha Revel again in court (Lindsay will probably claim it was aimed at the media).  Too bad the Judge didn’t write “right back at you” on her gravel, before imposing the sentence.  That would have been awesome.

BTW – Dina has sprouted off on the sentence, saying “This is so not fair to do this to my child”. 

And right there is the reason so much of this is happening in the first place.

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Carrie Prejean celebrates “opposite marriage” by having one

The bride wore white (who’s kidding who?) at her wedding to NFL player Kyle Boller this past Friday.

About a year ago, Carrie famously said she didn’t support gay marriage during a Q&A session at a beauty pageant, which may or may not have helped cost her the crown (she believes it did).

After that, it was all downhill for her.  Carrie got fired by Donald Trump for being a raging bitch to everyone on his staff but him, and subsequent petulant, hypocritical, and increasingly paranoid behavior from the beauty queen made her the butt of jokes. 

Lawsuits, sex tapes, and disastrous appearances on talk shows (Live with Larry King, The View) to shill her quickie tell all book (which blamed the liberal media for her downfall) as the summer progressed just added to the spectacular trainwreck.

As for her marriage, I give it about three years.

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“Don’t you know who I think I am?” – Updated

 

Ugh.  This is beyond stupid, but shows just how delusional and self-entitled Lindsay Lohan’s ghastly stage mother Dina is, that I decided I had to post about it.

Apparently, Dina went to Carvel Ice Cream to pick up a cake for her youngest son’s birthday and took daughter Ali’s VIP card to avoid paying for it.  Seems that Ali has a black Carvel card that gives her free ice cream for 75 years, a pretty sweet deal. (How much do you wanna bet Lindsay threw a fit in the middle of one of their locations on her sister’s behalf in order to get her it?)

Anyway, Dina presented the store with Ali’s card and the clerk asked to see some ID, a standard enough practice,  but of course, since this is a member of the Lohan family, there was drama.

Dina went running to Radar afterwards to give them her version of events.  “The shop assistant said, ‘Do you have I.D.?’ Next minute he he grabbed my arm and took my card and held it hostage and wouldn’t give me the cake! This guy was crazy! I couldn’t believe this guy… it’s a family card, it just didn’t have my name on it. Next minute, four cop cars showed up, there’s a police helicopter over head and this guy makes it seem to the cops that I’m trying to use a stolen credit card — and for what? Over a free ice cream?! He wouldn’t give it back… not even to the cops! Finally he gave up and gave me my card back. But he told me, ‘You can have the card, but you can’t have the cake!’ It just shows how we get treated so much worse than regular people. Just wait until Lindsay and Ali hear about this. When Ali gets back, I’m going to bring her in everyday to this store — and you can print that!”

What?  No “You’ll never get away with this!!!” tearfully uttered through breathless frustration by Dina as well?  I’m shocked. 

Far more likely, Dina threw a huge fit in the store when she was given the choice of paying or leaving empty handed and either called the cops herself or someone, fearing Dina was going to lose it on the store clerk, did. 

I highly doubt four cop cars showed up unless it was by coincidence, and as for Dina’s story of the police helicopter overhead, chances are it was for traffic, but of course, since this is a Lohan, everything revolves around them.  Always.

Here’s a rhetorical question.  Who’s more delusional, Dina or Lindsay?

UPDATE- Carvel’s spokesminions have released a statement regarding the incident

“These cards were issued in the celebrity’s name and require the card holder to be present at the time of use, many celebrities have enjoyed their cards at our Carvel Ice Cream shoppes and have shared their excitement with being included in the celebration.

“Unfortunately, the Lohan family has been abusing the card. While the card was issued in Lindsay’s name only, her extended family has repeatedly used the card without her present. At first, we graciously honored their requests while explaining that the Black Card was not a carte blanc for unlimited Carvel Ice Cream for the extended Lohan family and friends. After more than six months of numerous and large orders for ice cream, we finally had to cut off the card and take it back.

“Dina Lohan reacted badly and called the police [called it!] to have her card returned. The police responded and did return the card to Dina with instructions not to use it again. This is an unfortunate situation where certain people feel entitled to use a celebrity’s name for their own purposes. We regret that the Lohan family is upset and hope this matter is put behind us quickly.”

HA!  Sounds like Dina can show up with Lindsay or Ali at Carvel and throw all the temper tantrums they want, from here on in they have to pay up “like regular people” for their treats.  Also note the mention of “numerous and large orders for ice cream”.  Sounds like Dina was running a bit of a scam.  Ice cream at discounted prices for cash only perhaps?

Look out Haagen Das and Baskin Robbins, Dina will be hammering on your doors next looking for freebies (since she’s the mother of a celebrity).

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Next stop, Celebrity Rehab

It’s probably going to be one of  the few remaining options left to him.

Chris Klein (American Pie) was busted on suspicion of driving under the influence in LA when the cops spotted his car driving erraticly on the 101 freeway around 3:30 in the morning.

TMZ is reporting that Chris had a major case of the drunks, failing his sobriety test by blowing a .20 on the breathalyzer (California’s limit is .08)

 This is Chris’ second DUI, the first was about five years ago, right after he got dumped by Katie Holmes for her totally non-arranged and un-contrived relationship (and eventual marriage) to Tom Cruise.

Chris ended up being sentenced to five years probation for that DUI, so he’s completley SOL for this one unless he gets himself a really good lawyer.

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Perez on Pantygate: Miley pic was fake

Looks like Perez  Hilton’s legal team had a chat with him yesterday about that photo he posted (and removed) to his Twitter account of Miley Cyrus getting out of  a car in a short dress while supposedly going commando.

Perez says all the fuss is silly since it was a joke of some sort. ”Do you think I’m stupid enough to post a photo of Miley if she’s not wearing any underwear down there? No! Sure I like to seem controversial, but I don’t want to go to jail.  The reason I linked to that photo was I thought she was exiting this car in a very unlady like fashion.  People, snap out of it!” he said on a message posted to his website, along with the picture of Miley (left) that shows a circle around her panty-line wearing the same outfit as the the picture he posted the other day.

Here’s the thing though, Perez could still be in hot water, as the law is such that if you photoshop and distribute a picture of a person under 18 to make it look like their bits are showing (even if it’s clearly fake) you can still be charged as if it’s the real deal.

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A bad move on both sides

Going commando while wearing a short skirt and getting out of a car is just asking for the world to get a glimpse of your bits, especially when your every move while out in public is constantly photographed.

So it was that Miley Cyrus joined an illustrious club who’s members include Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, Britney Spears, and Kim Zolciak when Perez Hilton posted the above picture (minus the blacked out part) to his Twitter account.

Although Perez warned people not to click if they were easily offended, click they did, and then the sh*t started to hit the fan.

Why?  Miley is 17, so posting that uncensored photo technically constitutes child pornography under federal law. Perez has since removed the image from his account after coming under fire online for posting it in the first place.

The big question is, will there be legal fallout or will Perez end up getting punched in the face again at this year’s Much Music Video Awards in Toronto?  Miley is co-hosting and Perez tends to show up for it.  

 

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What’s the excuse going to be this time?

Someone slipped her booze without her knowing it?

Sunday night, party girl and professional trouble maker Lindsay Lohan attended the MTV Movie Awards, then went to Katy Perry’s after party at Las Palmas.  Apparently, sometime during the evening’s festivities, her SCRAM ankle bracelet went off, indicating that there was alcohol in her system.

Uh-oh.

The company that manufacturers the device immediately notified the authorities that the alarm had gone off, and was caused neither by “mistake or malfunction”. 

As one of the conditions of her probation, Linds has been forbidden to drink booze with the threat that she could face jail time otherwise.  Hence the SCRAM device placed on her to supposedly help keep her in line.  How long was that, all of two weeks?

Lindsay apparently placed a red LED light around her ankle as a little joke, raising eyebrows everywhere she went Sunday night as the light went off (actual SCRAM devices don’t have one).  Who’s laughing now?

Lindsay’s lawyer went into an emergency meeting with the Judge presiding over the case late this afternoon, while Lindsay did what she always does in a crisis, and sent out some Tweets.

However, the judge was having none of it and issued a bench warrant for Lindsay’s arrest, setting the bail this time at $200 000.  Lindsay managed to scrape together the 10% down payment required for a get out of jail card.

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Rated “B” for “Banned”

2010 continues to be “vexing” for Chris Brown.

According to  E! News he was about to begin the UK leg of his European tour in Glasgow tomorrow, when Britain’s home office refused to grant him a work visa due to his criminal record stemming from the beat-down he gave Rihanna.

A spokesminion for the Home Office released a statement, saying “”We reserve the right to refuse entry to the U.K. to anyone guilty of a serious criminal offence. Public safety is one of our primary concerns. Each application to enter the U.K. is considered on its individual merits.”

In other words, they don’t trust Chris Brown not to re-offend. 

Chris took to his Twitteraccount yesterday announcing that his entire European tour has no been called off, writing “SORRY to all the fans in europe!!! my tour is cancelled, Im pretty sure yall know. my entry was denied in your country. i love you.SORRY!!”

That post was subsequently removed from an offical word from Chris’s spokesminion which read “Due to issues surrounding his work visa, the Ireland and United Kingdom leg of Chris Brown’s Fan Appreciation Tour has been postponed. Chris looks forward to performing for his fans abroad in the near future and thanks them for their continued support.”

At the rate things are going for Chris (so-so sales, little radio play) his Fan Appreciation Tour might need to be renamed The Farewell Tour

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Financial Ruin and Sextapes: A tale of Two Housewives

It’s been a busy few days for two of the cast members of The Real Housewives of New Jersey.

First it turns out Teresa Giudicie (the one that looks like a Neanderthal with a penchant for flipping dining room tables), and her husband Joe are almost $11 million dollars in debt.  Apparently, they’re not as wealthy as they tried to appear on the show.  SHOCKING

Those buzzkills at the banks are said to be circling like vultures, and the Giudicie’s have already lost their summer place on Jersey Shore (the actual location, not the show) and another residence.  Next to go is that $1.5 million dollar mansion they had custom built that was featured in the last episode of the show.   If ever there was an award for overspending, these two would be on the short list.

Now comes word that Danielle (Prostituiton Whore!) Staub (the one that looks like a female version of the Joker) has a sex tape coming out next week.  Of couse she does.  Isn’t this par for the course at this point? 

Word is Danielle tried to stop it last year (sure she did – you just know she wanted a bigger cut of the take, asumming there is one) but TMZ reports that Hustler is releasing the tape next Tuesday.  The tape features Danielle and that 26 going on 40 looking douchebag she was dating briefly on RHONJ,  Stephen Zalewski.  Blech.

Both women are pobably toasting each other’s misfortune, self inflected as it is.  No word if all this will somehow make it into season two of the show or if the fallout will have to wait until season three.

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