The 19 year old single mother, Pro-abstinence advocate, and future “Mommy Dearest” type biography subject has once again beaten her ex-fiance (x2) at his own famewhoring game, by becoming a contestant on Dancing For A Cheque With The Stars, according to E!

Bristol?  A star??  Really???

Far more likely, Bristol be this season’s Kate Gosselin.  Lets see, she’s a single mother known for having a rocky relationship with the father of her child.  She’s an overpaid hypocrite (apparently a Palin family trait) and people seem to either love her or hate her.  What remains to be seen is reports of diva-ish behavior and a total lack of moves on the dance floor.

You have to wonder how much Bristol’s going to be taking home for every week she manages to stay on.  Also?  Cue countdown for the dating rumours to start between her and The Situation or The Hoff.

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At the rate “insiders” keep spelling the beans to the tabloids, there won’t be anyone left for ABC to out as a contestant by August 30 when the official announcement is made.

US is saying that ex-Baywatcher, current reality show patriarch, and famous drunk person David Hasselhoff will be a competing alongside Kristie Ally (Cheers, Veronica’s Closet, Fat Actress) who’s participation is being reported by InTouch.  According to them, Kirstie’s being paired with Maxsim Chmerkovskiry, who clearly drew the short straw for the fall season (I kid becuase I love). 

The new season of Dancing For A Cheque (let’s be honest, that’s exactly what it is) starts September 20.

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The Pussycat Dolls frontwoman along with partner Derek Hough took home the coveted (their words not mine) MirrorBall trophy in last nights two hour finale.  Was there ever really any doubt? 

The show also saw the return of this seasons past contestants including Pam Anderson, Aidan Turner, Bachelor Jake Pavelka and that fiance of his, and the completely stiff and rhythmless Kate Gosselin, there to shill her two new shows and remind everyone in a clip that she’s “contri-versial”.

(Sideside – rumour has it that Kate was paid $100 000 per week to be on DWTS.  Since she was on for five weeks prior to being voted off.  Do the math and try not to feel sick.) 

Evan Lysacek and his partner Anna Trebunskaya came in second.  Was it just me or did she seem to be over it (as in him)?  That smile on her face was a little too fixed. 

Erin Andrews and Maks came in third.  Considering as an ESPN reporter Erin was the only celeb in the top three who doesn’t use dance in her day job, she did phenomenally well.

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Last night saw Dancing With The Stars wittled down to three couples with the elimination of Chad Ochochino, leaving Erin Andrews, Nicole Scherzinger, Evan Lysacek and their respective dancing partners.

At this point in the competition, there are several performances to help pad the show into a full hour.  First with Sarah McLachlan, probably there to drum up interest for her resurrected Lilith Fair and new album Laws of Illusion, then teams from Rutgers and Utah Valley Universities showed their stuff, former DWTS contestants Joey Fatone and Melissa Rycroft performed a tango, and finally Miley Cyrus singing (or lip synching) Can’t Be Tamed, looking like she brought all the props and back up dancers from the video shoot.

As for Chad’s showmance with dance partner Cheryl Burke, they both continue to play coy about the nature of their relationship while dropping hints, with Chad saying that thier friendship “will always mean the world to me” adding that it will “continue for a lifetime”.

Next Monday the three remaining contestants vie for the Mirrorball prize, with a new Dancing for a Cheque winner crowned on Tuesday.

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Just when we thought it was safe to watch Dancing With The Stars (that’s a joke -it never is) too.

Kate Gosselin announced on her TLC Blog late yesterday that she’ll be returning to the show for the finale. 

“There better be one more dance left in me: Get ready for the DWTS finale on May 24, 25!!! I’ll be there. C’mon, I know you missed my unique dance style!”

Gotta say I’m conflicted.  While I really miss being able to… critique Kate’s “unique” dancing style (it simply hasn’t been the same without her), it’s actually pretty painful to watch.

You just know news of this is going to push her ex-dancing partner Tony Dovolani right over the edge.

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Just when I was starting to feel a little less…irritated with Liz and her views too (usually the sound of her voice sends me running for the aspirin or the vodka) this happens.

Long (and stupid) story short.  After criticizing that Dancing with the Has-Beens contestant Erin Andrews outfits were too revealing for someone who just had seen her stalker go to prison on Tuesday’s episode of The View, and that her stalker could have avoided jail time had he just waited for her to be on the show, Hasselbeck got all emotional while apologizing for her words on Wednesday.

Hasselbeck was trashed for her comments in the media by Andrews, saying that they were “a slap in the face to victims of stalking and sexual predators”.  Her dancing partner Maksim, called Hasselbeck “jealous” as well as “stupid”.

Don’t hold back Maks!  Tell us how you really feel.

Andrews went on to say in a segment on Access Hollywood last night that she didn’t need an apology from Hasselbeck.  Guess they’re off each others Christmas card lists now. 

Is it just me or does Hasselbeck always get weepy when she paints herself into a corner or into a war of words she can’t win?

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Boo!

Pamela Anderson, who was proving to be quite a dancer and was making this season of  Dancing With The Has-Beens Stars fun to watch, got sent packing last night in the results show.

Kind of a surprising outcome, considering she and partner Damien Whitewood got a score of 24 out of 30 for their routine Monday night. 

Clearly a little sad to go, Pam kept her head held high, saying, “This has been one of the best experiences of my life — and that says a lot. I’ve had a lot of good experiences.”

It’s down to five contestants and their partners now, although it’s probably a toss up between Olympian Evan Lysacek (who got a perfect score of 30 on Monday’s show) and ex Pussycat Doll Nicole Scherzinger as to who wins this season.

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