Sorry, couldn’t resist.

Filming has just started on K-Town, described as a Asian-American version of Jersey Shore (oh dear Lord, why? WHY???!) that will focus on 8 “roomates” doing in LA’s Korea Town what our favorite group of juiced up Guideos and Guidettes did just a few short months ago (make total asses of themselves on TV).

The cast (from left to right) includes Young Lee, Jennifer Field, Joe Cha, Scarlet Chan, Violet Kim, Peter Le (rumoured to be a porn star, and K-Town’s version of The Situation), Steve Kim, and Jasmine Chang.

Although the series hasn’t been picked up by a network as of yet, it’s probably only a matter of time.  Besides, we need more reality television (insert eyeroll), and MTV needs to find something to fill the void left by The Hills.

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HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

This just made my morning. 

According to Radar, even though she was one of the higher profile celebrities (which says it all) for the current season of Dr Drew’s infamous exersise in schadenfreude, word is the good Doctor realized that Tila’s main problems are that  (A) she’s addicted to attention and (B) is bat-sh*t crazy.

Apparently, the final straw for the good doctor was when Tila blamed her alter-ego “Jane” for cutting and burning her arms.  Realizing he was in way over his head with this one, Dr Drew had her tossed out, free to terrorize LA once again with her famewhoring shenanigans.

No word if how or if this will affect production of Celebrity Rehab, or if they plan on replacing Tila with a less trainwrecky trainwreck.

Cue countdown for one of Tila’s patented online tirades against Dr Drew in 5…4…3…

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Battered but not bowed!  Is there anything worse than a summer cold (except maybe when it turns into the flu)?  But enough about my probs…

Lindsay’s are just beginning.  Since new info about Linds pops up online every couple of hours, I thought I’d round up what’s been happening in the past 24.

After the verdict, Lindsay bailed on her own birthday bash, instead opting to stay at home, where she was visited by Kim Kardashian, clearly feeling that she hadn’t been mentioned in the news enough lately, and chose this as her way of inserting herself into the picture.  This woman needs to write a book on famewhoring.  She’s a master at it.

Apparently, Linds plans to appeal the sentence of  90 days in jail followed by madatory 90 days in rehab handed down to her by Judge Marsha Revel earlier this week.

However, it’ll be a different council as Lind’s lawyer quit that bitch yesterday.  Whether it was the “f*ck u” painted on Lindsay’s middle fingernail, her statement that “I’m not going to jail” afterwards, her plans to appeal, or the fact that she probably has no real means to pay her legal fees remains unclear.  Lindsay’s new lawyer is just that, having passed the bar exam only eight months ago.  What’s that old saying?  You only get what you pay for? 

Speaking of paying for things…Lindsay is well aware that she’s going to be a hot commodity on the interview circuit once she’s sprung from the clink.  Word is she’s not even considering any interview requests unless they cough up at least a cool $1 million.  You just know she’ll totally get it.  Why is beyond me since everyone knows everything, and her parents won’t charge nearly that much to be interviewed, which leads us to….

Stage mother extraordinaire and Carvel ice cream grifter Dina Lohan will be appearing on  Entertainment Tonight in an “exclusive” (insert eyeroll) segment this evening where she’ll bitch about Lindsay’s unfair treatment at the hands of the legal system.  Oh, boo hoo! 

Meanwhile, her useless father Michael has also been busy making the rounds on the tabloid television circuit, blaming Dina for everything, all the while expressing concern for Lindsay (who he has no trouble selling out for a cheque everytime he can).

Finally, that now infamous ”f*ck u” painted on her middle finger was of course a joke, according to Lindsay, clearly worried that she could be found in contempt of court now that her little message to the Judge has been made public.  

Whew.  I’m exhauseted typing all that out.

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This really shouldn’t come as a surprise, should it?

One has-been with a drug problem and a ridiculous story literally stolen from an episode of Six Feet Under (it got even more ridiculous as time went on) and a fame-whoring doctor with a show to produce. 

Jeremy told the world that he was forced to smoke crack at gunpoint and deliver booze to the gang-areas of Palm Springs, but not before the kidnappers dropped off his wife first, because she was crying (and they were considerate as kidnapping crackheads tend to be).  Both she and Jeremy are having custody issues to do with their kid due to past brushes with the law and drug use.

Jeremey’s mother and twin brother even went so far as to basically say his story was a crock of sh*t in the media.  Now Radar is reporting that Jermey is heading to Celebrity Rehab, despite his recent interview with People, where he maintained that he’s sober and still on the wagon (insert eyeroll), even though he was forced to party at gunpoint.

Considering other victims patients of Dr Drew this season will include Tila Tequila and Jason Wahler, the trainwreck potential for this is epic.

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Like once wasn’t enough?

According to  The NY Post, stage mother extraordinaire Dina Lohan is shopping around a new reality TV show that focuses on the entire Lohan family (except for ex-husband Michael, natch).

Dina says that filming has already begun, with cameras following around Lohan family members (which will include Lindsay, her schedule permitting) as they go about their daily routines.  Dina also says that she’s “discussing a deal with a major network”.

Pffffft.  Sure she is.

Dina’s last attempt at reality TV, E!‘s Living Lohan, got cancelled after just nine episodes in 2008.  Lindsay didn’t particiapte at all, so puiblic interest in the series was so-so to begin with (Dina originally promised E! that Lindsay would be part of it).  An exercise in tedium,  the only thing accomplished was to demonstrate what a talentless, entitled brat youngest daughter Ali is, pretty much deep-sixing any chance she had of breaking into show business (the series’ main focus).

Can’t see how this new show of Dina’s will get picked up (or be any more successful than the last one if it does), but with Lindsay’s supposed guaranteed involvement this time, it might find an audience.

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These two famewhores must have each gone running to the tabloids the second ABC gave them the all clear to break up with each other earlier this week.  

According to Star Magazine, Fly-boy Ken (Jake Pavelka) wasn’t interested in Hailey Glassman Version 2.0 (Vienna Girardi)<i>that way</i>(if you know what I mean and I think that you do).  HGV2.0 complains in an “exclusive” interview (giving her best sad puppy-dog face for the cameras) that Fly-boy Ken was only interested in her when the media was around and that they hadn’t been intimate in months.  Cue the countdown for the “Is Jake Gay?” rumours any moment now.

But!

In an exclusive interview with People, Fly-boy Ken says HGV2.0 was pretty much a cling-on, insanely jealous, and didn’t give him breathing room.  Translation: He got bored of her quick after the sex appeal wore off. 

 Meanwhile, US Magazine claims HGV2.0 is something of a skank, saying she stepped out on Fly-Boy Ken, most recently with Gregory Michael.

Hope they enjoy the last precious seconds of their 15 minutes.  Next stop, probably soft core porn for her, and another round in a reality TV show for him (is ABC’s latest spin off on this contrived mess, The Bachelor Pad, still accepting cast additions?)

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Well boo hoo and color me all sorts of shocked (not really).

Fly-boy Ken (Jake Pavelka) from The Bachelor and immediately after on Dancing With The Stars, has broken up with the famewhore woman he chose to be his fiance, Hailey Glassman V2.0 (Vienna Girardi).

 US Weekly is saying the pair’s spokesminion has confirmed to them that the couple has  split up, adding that they “appreciate privacy at this time”. 

Sorry famewhores, no can do.

Most likely, ABC gave them the all clear, as the charade had gone on long enough.  Either that, or Vienna realized she wasn’t going to get any more famous than she was with Jake, while he was already getting bored of her.

Wonder if Vienna’s already hawked the half million dollar rock she got as an engagement ring from Jake (on ABC’s dime)?  She seems to be taking her split from Jake pretty well.  Apparently, Vienna was seen hitting on Greek star Gregory Michael the other night in LA.  She moves fast, no?

.

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…Or crazy like a fox.

If the Bieb’s fans went after Kim Kardashian over her Tweets, sending her death threats, this should send them into total frenzy.

(Great dig at Kim’s age BTW – Heidi is about seven years younger)

Guess that’s one way to keep your name in the media.

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Bravo has officially announced the cast for the latest installment of their Real Housewives of franchise, which starts August 5th.

Above, from left to right they are….

Catherine Ommanney – Fresh of the boat from England, the interior designer and author moved to the States when she married a photojournalist from Newsweek Magazine in 2008.  She has two children.  She is probably terrible.

Stacie Scott Turner – An MBA Harvard grad that worked for BET in their marketing department before switching careers and going into real estate. She’s apparently involved in lots of political fundraisers and is probably horrible.

Mary Schmidt Amons – A true child of the Beltway, she founded a couple of charities and summered with the Kennedy’s as a child.  She is probably ghastly.

Lynda Erkiltean -  A divorced mother of four, she owns T.H.E.  Artists Agency, a Georgetown firm for models and stylists.  Dating a much younger man, her hobbies include riding ATV’s, cooking, and shooting clay pigeons.  She is probably awful.

Michaele Salahi -  The wild card of the bunch (so far).  Hobbies include crashing White House State Dinners, famewhoring, and playing innocent to the media.  We know she’s a holy terror.

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Either this is an example of method acting run amok, or Heidi and Spencer have been paying attention to the chatter in the blogosphere about them lately and are taking drastic action.

Late last month, Heidi walked out on her husband, Spencer Pratt, under the pretense that she was finally sick of him controlling her every move and isolating her.  

Word got out that Heidi and an ex-castmate from The Hills named Jennifer Bunney will sharing a house in Malibu where (surprise surprise), a reality TV show will be filmed this summer revolving around the two and their relationships. 

If that wasn’t enough of a red-flag (it totally is), the house itself was rented prior to Heidi’s split from Spencer, with neither of the famewhore’s or Jennifer Bunney’s names signed on the lease, and only for three months.  Just about everyone, including (ex) friends and family, called the split a sham, no more of a desperate publicity stunt to set up the basis of the new show on.

Which is why Heidi went to court yesterday to file legal papers to make her separation from Spencer legal, citing “irreconcilable differences” (although she hasn’t filed for an actual divorce).  Interestingly, the date of separation was listed as June 8th.

Some source (Jennifer Bunney or Spencer?) says that “Heidi would never take legal action unless it was not a stunt”. 

Oh please. 

This is the same woman who claims the producer of  The Hills inappropriately touched her just days after she realized all the press Nicolette Sheridan was getting going after Marc Cherry for assault and wrongful dismissal. 

Short of murder, there’s almost nothing Speidi won’t do to get their names on a tabloid cover and extend their 15 minutes.

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