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Not on the court but in the stands.

Don’t know who started it or who said what to whom, but something tells me the words “fat” and “bitch” were used one too many times.  This is exactly why I refuse to sit in the nosebleeds at events, too much trash.

Remember when dealing with asshats, keep it chill, with your temper in check, and always, always keep your hands to yourself.  You never know who might be watching, or recording.

Update – Here’s another angle of the fight.  Apparently Chubs and her husband/father/whatever took offense to some of Junior’s language.  One too many f-bombs.  So like the two rational adults they are, they picked a fight with him rather than getting security, changing their seats, or just ignoring him.

All three were arrested and later released but have been banned from the US Open until 2013.  Cue lawsuits (cause you know they’re coming) and a possible offer for a reality TV show.

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The owner of that RV company that Taylor Lautner is suing for failure to deliver his custom made trailer on time has an interesting response to the lawsuit.

Brent McMahon says that’s he’s willing to settle the dispute by having a pushup contest with the 18 year old actor while shirtless.  If McMahon wins, he says he’ll donate $40 grand to the Children’s Hospital of Orange County instead of paying Taylor damages, otherwise they’ll go to court.

So who do you think has te Taylor Lautner fixation?  McMahon, his wife, or some other family member?

Lautner’s legal counsil, Robert Barta isn’t having any of this, saying in a statement “McMahon RV’s response to our client’s legitimate claim further demonstrates the lack of professionalism that Mr. McMahon, his company and his employees have exhibited from the outset, and that compelled the filing of this lawsuit in the first place.”

Barta went on to say if McMahon donates the money to a charity of Taylor’s choosing (with no push-up contest) they’ll considered the matter closed.

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This is so immature I can’t help but get sucked right in.

Levi Johnston is now taking back his public apology to his almost mother in law (x2), and arch nemisis Sarah Palin he made shortly before US Magazine broke the story that he and Sarah’s daughter Bristol were back together and re-engaged (the two split up again about three weeks later).

Levi was interviewed on CBS‘ The Early Show today, saying, “I don’t really regret anything, but the only thing I wish I wouldn’t have done is put out that apology ’cause it kind of makes me sound like a liar. And I’ve never lied about anything. So that’s probably the only thing. The rest of the stuff I can live with.”

What about that lame Playgirlcenterfold with none of his bits showing after teasing us all for months over it?  Disappointment doesn’t even begin to cover it.

Levi just filled papers in Wasilla , Alaska to run for mayor.  You have to wonder if in the relevant experience section he listed “annoying Sarah Palin” as that must surely count for something.  One of the first stops on Levi’s campaign trail was at a gun store (of course) where he was filmed by his camera crew for his reality show holding a $2000 rifle. 

The Wasillan Hillbillies sure know how to up the dramz and create a scene, don’t they?

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It’s been a while since we heard anything from John Mayer, but now he’s back with a vengence via Tumblr, aiming his eloquently short but sweet musings (sarcasm) at The Huffington Post for having the nerve to suggest that he might be getting together again with his old f*ck buddy, Jennifer Aniston.

(You might want to take a bathroom break first, it’s that long winded.)

Ahh, Huffington Post, the internet Death Star. The world’s first spectator banking website. Come watch a site’s intelligence move in and out like bellows of accordion depending on whether or not there’s ad dollars to be sucked out of any willing orifice.”

 From their front page item “BACK TOGETHER?”:

Are John Mayer and Jennifer Aniston back on? Mayer seemed to indicate they might be when he spoke in front of a crowd of 18,000 at his concert on Sunday at the Hollywood Bowl in LA.

“I believe in second chances!” he said. “You might have been a pain in the ass the last time around, but you can still start over again from home base. Next time you get a text from the one you love just text back ‘come over’ – no matter what happened in the past. If you really love someone, just tell them and be with them.”

“Huffington Post, this is reporting? How do you pay your writers now, in Silly Bandz? Do you meet your sources in a malt shoppe? This is equal parts fabricated, cobbled together and misleading. Let’s break it down: I don’t think I ever said “I believe in second chances!” but I can’t be 100 percent sure, as it’s possible I could have accidentally said something succinctly and to the point. The next sentence is from the song “Half of My Heart,” in reference to the idea that meeting new people allows for hiding old mistakes. (Well, for most people at least.) The sentence about texting comes from the show’s encore, “Edge of Desire,” in a moment of giving people permission not to beat themselves down for still wanting someone. Two sentences about different things at different points in a concert.

The reason I’m calling you out instead of all the other magazines that make stories up out of thin air is that In Touch and Star Magazine aren’t concurrently writing pieces about Pat Tillman or WikiLeaks. Those other rags know who they are, and even if they’re obnoxious, I’d rather have to live with them because they (and the rest of the world) know where they stand, which doesn’t make them one tenth as dangerous as you are. You’re a stripper wearing reading glasses. Or maybe you’re an insolvent law student willing to dance for a few extra dollars. Either way, it’s uncomfortable to watch you try to wrap yourself around a pole when you have that C-Span scar.

I’m not a politician. I have no celebrity endorsements. So it is with a clear conscience that I’m able to title your piece on this post, should you decide to try make a few more bucks for whatever body wash or slasher flick you’re hocking today.

JOHN MAYER SLAMS HUFFPO: ” GO F**K YOURSELF!”

Wow.  Wonder what is it about the HuffPo piece that got under his skin?  Maybe sharing a headline with Jennifer Aniston after all this time hurt his ego.  Unlike his, her name automatically increases traffic to a site, even though it seems to have the opposite effect at movie theatres.

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Yesterday a story broke that Glee’s Naya Rivera and her friends keyed and egged co-star Mark Salling’s car in retrobution for being a man-whore when she thought they were dating.  (Mark’s previous dalliances include Audrina Patridge and Paris Hilton).

Anyway, after the gossip blogs (including yours truly) picked up on it and the tale made the rounds, Mark went to Radar saying that the story was lies, all lies!  Even going so far as to claim he “dosen’t even own a Lexus” anymore. 

Mark then posted the above photo to his Twitter, saying he and Naya are “the best of friends”.  This probably has nothing (ahem) to do with the fact that the cast will be attending the Emmy Awards Sunday night and is expected to show a united front.

Ryan Murphy runs a tight ship.

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Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.  Especially one with a set of keys that knows where you park your car like in that Carrie Underwood song.

Apparently, Mark Salling (Puck) and Naya Rivera (Santana) were something of an item, and by “something”, I mean she seems to have been under the impression that she was his main squeeze, while he was under the impression that theirs was a casual relationship.

Uh-oh.

According to US , Naya and some of her friends pulled a real number on Mark’s Lexus (messing with a guys car is a major no-no) by keying it.  Because acting like an insanely jealous vandal always solves everything.  No word if Mark plans on pressing charges, insisting Naya pay for the damages, or if he’s just going to let it slide.

Curious to see how this plays out, only because if the roles were reversed, there’d be a total poo storm over it, with people demanding that charges be layed and Mark’s character be written out of Glee.

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Now! Now! Now! Now! Now! Now! Now!

According to TMZ, the latest member of the buff young drama queen club is suing a company called McMahon’s RV because they promised him a $300 thousand custom RV by June 21st to use while he was filming the sure to be Oscar contender Abduction. 

Unfortunately, the company only supplied Taylor with a regular RV (oh, the horror). He’s seeking an unspecified settlement for breach of contract, “emotional distress”,  ”annoyance” because of it.

You know, if not getting the type of RV Taylor wanted caused him emotional distress, can’t wait to see what getting soundly mocked in the media over this lawsuit’s going to do.

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Looks like Madonna and her daughter Lordes have a fight on their hands over the line of clothes for teenagers they’ve created for Macy’s that just recently launched.

Apparently, a California based clothing company called LA Triumph is claiming they’ve used the name Material Girl since 1997, for a line they say is similar in style, price, and availability. 

Lawyers for LA Triumph went to court on Thursday and filed a suit, demanding that The Big M and Macy’s change the name and hand over all profits to them (of course) saying that this creates “deception” in the market.

Considering that Madonna coined the phrase “Material Girl” 26 years ago, wouldn’t she own rights to it?  Will the judge presiding over the case notice when word of  Madonna and Lourde’s line and it’s moniker made the news months ago, LA Triumph remained strangely silent over the matter?  What exactly where they waiting for?  Questions, questions….

Besides being exposed to business meetings and the inner workings of the fashion industry, guess Lourdes is also getting her first exposure to corporate dust-ups.  Welcome to the big league, kid.

Whichever way this suit goes (instinct says it’ll be dismissed) Madonna won’t be hurting for money.  Rumour is the big M is being offered $1 BILLION for a five year Las Vegas residency at Ceasar’s Palace.

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Or he will have his Twitter followers, 4.5 million strong, make life….difficult.

Apparently, it all started because 15 year old Kevin Kristopik hacked into the Facebook account of one of Justin Bieber’s friends by claiming he was the friend and forgot the password.  All the answers were available on the Internet and he got in (clever).  Kristopik read a couple of messages from the Bieb, got his private phone number, then started to text him trying to get a response.  The Bieb took exception to this and just before midnight on Saturday posted the following Tweet.

Within minutes, Kristopik got 26,000 text messages (I’d hate to see that cell phone bill).  He’s since deleted his Twitter account and he and his mother made an appearance on  Inside Edition last night, demanding an apology. 

Pffffft.

Good luck with that one.  The only way he’ll get it is if the Bieb and his handlers think there’s even the slightest possibility that Mother Kristopik can sue and win (she’s probably already contacted a lawyer).

On the plus side, she can probably now scratch off any future releases of the Bieb’s from her son’s Christmas and birthday wish lists.

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Normally I’m not team Jen at all, but in this case I’ll make an exception.

It all started when sad lonely perfume shill Jen was givng an interview to promote her movie The Switch, when she told reporters on Sunday, “Women are realizing it more and more knowing that they don’t have to settle with a man just to have that child. Times have changed and that is also what is amazing is that we do have so many options these days, as opposed to our parents’ days when you can’t have children because you have waited too long”.

Right-wing FOX News nutbar Bill O’Reilly took exception to this, saying Jen was “thowing a message to 12 and 13 year old girls” glamourizing single motherhood and that was “destructive to our society”.

Well, turns out Kitty (or her spokesminion) has claws, telling  People in a written statement, “Many women dream of finding Prince Charming… but for those who’ve not yet found their Bill O’Reilly, I’m just glad science has provided a few other options.”

Oooooh, burn!

Aniston – 1  O’Reilly – 0

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