Remember this example when celebs throw a pity party for themselves and go on and on about how they can’t make a move without it being splashed all over the media.

Penelope and Javier were married in a small private ceremony at a friend’s house in the Bahama’s earlier this month.  Almost no other deets have been released (including pictures of the ceremony and the bride in her John Galliano designed wedding dress).

The blurb given to the  Associated Press by Penelope’s spokesminion was done late last night, so the story probably won’t appear in this week’s tabloids either.  Heh.

No word on whre the happy couple are having their honeymoon,or if their going to wait (Penelope is currently filming the latest Pirates of the Caribbean movie in Hawaii).

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 After her long suffering lawyer, Shawn Chapman-Holley, threw up her hands in frustration and ran screaming out of of the courtroom to get away from Lindsay resigned as Lindsay’s legal council last week (only to be told by the Judge that she can’t quit until all the appropriate paperwork has been filed) the big question was who was going to represent Lilo?

It’s not going to be some green lawyer who just passed the bar last year (which was the rumour late last week), or the Real Cornitian Leather in the spiffy powder blue suit to the left.  Who?  This would be Stuart V Goldberg, a criminal defense attorney who dropped everything on his plate and left his practice in Illinois to come rushing to Lindsay’s legal aid (whether she wanted it or not).

Surprise, surprise, the Lohans apparently aren’t going to take Mr. Goldberg up on his completely generous and in no way self-serving offer after all.  A source close to the lawyer says that the Lohans couldn’t afford Goldberg and that he refused to work for free (so there too).  Meanwhile, another source close to Lindsay (obviously Dina) says that she felt Mr. Goldberg was a little too “eccentric”.  Heh.

Never thought I’d say this about the Lohan’s, but smart move.

TMZ is now reporting that the Lohans have hired high powered attorney Robert Shapiroto represent Linds with her appeal from here on, so Real Cornithian Leather has taken his leathery hide and powder blue suit back to the windy city.

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Angelina Jolie is profiled in the August issue of Vanity Fair (available July 6th) just in time for the release her new action movie, Salt.

A few quotes from her interview are available online, and for the most part Ange talks about Brad and the kids.  Could this be a way of saying, “See, I’m just like you” to the Soccer Mom Brigade?  They don’t like Ange very much as she represents the threat of the other woman.  Maybe Ange (or far more likely her handlers) hope she’ll be cut some slack by having her talk about how committed she is to her family.  It’s all about marketability, see?  

Angie also talks about Shiloh, who she and Brad have gotten a lot of flack about recently for letting the kid dress the way she does, saying, “Shiloh dresses like a little dude. Shiloh, we feel, has Montenegro style. It’s how people dress there. She likes tracksuits, she likes (regular) suits. She likes to dress like a boy. She wants to be a boy. So we had to cut her hair. She likes to wear boys’ everything. She thinks she’s one of the brothers.”

Uh-oh.

Cue the charge from self-righteous fuddy-duddies, clutching their pearls in horror, decrying that Angie and Brad are practically committing child abuse by letting Shiloh be a tomboy.

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Once more into the breach, dear friends…

According to that bastion of journalistic integrity, UK style, The Sun   (insert cut-eye) is claiming the pearl of Camden herself, Amy Winehouse, has gone back to rehab for the umpteenth time at the insistence of her new boyfriend Reg Traviss (Amy gave on again off again ex-husband Blake the heave-ho at some point over the past couple of months).

Apparently, Reg told Amy she needed to sober up or he was going to quit her ass.  Since Amy is in lurrrrrrrrrve with Reg now, she checked herself in over the weekend to go through yet another round.

No word how this will affect Amy’s long awaited and oft delayed follow up album to Back In Black (as if that’s ever going to happen at this point).

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At least this time there weren’t any party crashers (or were there?)

Last night, the White House held it’s annual Corespondents Dinner.  The guest list included a typical who’s who of heavy hitters from both the Beltway and Hollywood, for the most part.

However, some invitees leave questions as to why they were invited in the first place.  Perhaps the Obama’s are trying to cater to the all important youth market (you know, the one that legally can’t vote yet).  

As Bill Maher said last night, (tongue firmly planted in cheek) ”It’s great to mingle with America’s real intellectual heavyweights. I saw the Jonas Brothers, Justin Bieber, Jessica Simpson, Ryan Seacrest – I can’t wait to talk politics.”

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WHAAAAAAAAAAT?

Truth!  The stepford wife of Tom Cruise will be playing Jackie Kennedy in an eight hour long mini series called The Kennedys (unique title) that will air on The History Channel.

As per Variety, the mini series will also star Tom Wilkinson as Joe Kennedy Sr, Greg Kinnear as John F, and Barry Pepper as Robert.  No word yet on who’s been cast as Ted.

Not sure if strings were pulled (cough-Tom-cough), or if Katie had to audition, but pictures like the one at the left from a couple of years ago when she was rocking a bob and wearing oversized sunglasses probably helped.  She seemed to abandon the “look” as people kept comparing her to Victoria (Posh) Beckham.

I can actually see her pulling this off, you?

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Hugh Hefner came to the rescue of the iconic Hollywood sign, donating $900 thousand dollars to the Save Cahuenga Peak campaign yesterday. 

Apparently, the 138 acre property where the sign sits had been zoned for four luxury homes (on the side of a steep hill on a fault line?) which had been purchased by a development company several years ago.

Sidenote: Not every single available piece of land needs to developed. Just sayin…

Other celebs contributing to the $12.5 million dollar purchase include Steven Speilberg and Tom Hanks. 

Governator Ah-nold Schwarzenegger says it’s the “Hollywood ending we hoped for”.  A last minute save by an 80-something pajama wearing horn dog with a thing for young blondes?   Only in Hollywood.

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Sometimes singer and tabloid mainstay Courtney Love is back in the news. 

Her group, Hole has a new album coming out April 27th called Nobody’s Daughter (early word is it’s not bad), and to celebrate Courtney has decided to rid herself of her “oppressive” stage name, changing it to Courtney Michelle (she was born Courtney Michelle Harrison).

Speaking about herself in the third person (never a good sign) to NWE Magazine, she gave this gem. “Courtney Love is dead. We’ve all decided we don’t like her any more. We love her when she goes onstage, but I don’t need her in the rest of my life.”

“We”?  Uh oh. 

What’s in a name?  Chances are Courtney Michelle will be every little bit as….um, entertaining as Courtney Love.

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Kate Hudson was photographed at the beach the other day, and was looking a little more…curvey than she was during awards season.

Kate’s chest area is just larger enough that some are speculating that she went the way of most in Hollywood and got her ta-ta’s ever so slightly enhanced.  UsWeekly  is saying that her bust size (or lack thereof) was one of her biggest insecurities and that she had some work done late last month, going from an A to about a C.

As long as Kate knows when to quit and stay proportionate, unlike 90% of her top heavy, silicone enhanced peers.

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How cool is it that Elizabeth Taylor Tweets?  Guess eight times down the aisle was enough.

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