For both the show and the marriage.

Tonight’s new episode of  TLC‘s Jon & Kate plus 8 is the last one.  I thought it was already done with the Kate tells all specials they were airing recently?

Jon infamously barred production of the series after being basically dumped from the show, saying he now felt the filming was detrimental to his children’s well being.

This past Saturday, the two, along with their lawyers, sat down to an all day mediation where they hammered out the most of the details of their pending divorce.  Jon brought a dozen long stemmed red roses in a obvious attempt to gain public sympathy gesture to set things right.  Kate responded by accepting the peace offering and then beat him over the head repeatedly with the flowers until the petals all fell off .  Ok, she didn’t do that at all, but just how awesome would it have been if she did?  No, Kate just refused them instead.  A smart move, albeit a boring one.  They’re both scheduled to meet again today to wrap things up.  So far, Kate is said to have primary custody of the kids and neither side is seeking spousal support from the other. 

Jon still has his pending lawsuits with TLC for breach of contract to contend with.

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Hot on the heels of Carrie Prejean and her accidentally on purpose released sex tape, comes word that there’s one featuring Jon Gosselin.

Nasty.  Jon’s bodyguard, Thomas Meinalt claims he’s seen it in which the father of 8 has a romp with an unknown female (with questionable tastes in men) last month in LA.  Allegedly,  the woman was paid for her services, hopefully she charged double.  Apparently Jon also has picked up quite the coke habit. Wait, isn’t that supposed to keep you slim? FAIL.

This is all according to Stephanie Santoro, the Gosselin’s ex-nanny and Jon’s ex-alleged plaything. Not sure I buy this story, unless Jon was unaware that he was being filmed.   Sounds far more like someone (Santoro) is trying to make waves, get herself some attention and sell tales to the tabloids.

I think we should all have sex tapes, it’ll completely nullify the shock! value which is, lets face it almost yawn inducing at this point. Kim Kardashian, Paris Hilton etc, started and killed the trend.

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To the surprise of absolutely no one who follows these sorts of things, Jon Gosselin has retaliated in response to TLC’s lawsuit against him with a lawsuit of his own aimed squarely back at the cable channel.

TLC sued Jon for breach of contract earlier this fall when he prevented them from filming Jon & Kate plus 8 under the pretense that it was harmful to his children once execs at the channel had dropped him from the show.  Now Jon wants $5 million from TLC, claiming that they’re preventing him from earning a living and that his original contract is “too restrictive”.  The arguement is probably going to be that he lacked sufficient legal council or input when he signed his contract with TLC.

Not sure if Jon really wants money from TLC or if he just wants them to back off and drop their suit against him while releasing him from his contractual obligations.  As for the claim that they’re preventing him from making a living, obviously there’s little to no opportunity for famewhoring or $12 thousand dollar fees for appearances involved, but he could always go back to I.T.

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Jon Gosselin has apparently turned to yoga recently for meditative and relaxation purposes.  No word on whether he’s finding it beneficial or not.  Do you think Ed Hardy designs yoga wear?

If I want to find some peace and serenity, I turn to anything chocolate, or a bong. I tried yoga once, but I have all the flexibility of a pine cone, with the same results. Now repeat after me, OM.

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This is probably one of the few times these famewhores aren’t going to want the attention they’re about to get.  Multiple sources are confirming that lawyers for TLC, which produced Jon & Kate Plus 8, are going after Jon’s inner circle with depositions to prove he’s in breach of contract by accepting money from other sources such as Entertainment Tonight and The Insider and disclosing information about the inner workings and behind the scenes information of the show and TLC in general. (Latest bombshell? A twitter post after Kate’s recent “special” that alludes he and Kate had split almost a year ago.)

The lawyers hit list includes Michael Lohan, ex-con and Lindsay’s completely useless turd of a father, who’s made no secret he and Jon plan to ”star” in a reality TV show about divorced dads,  Hailey Glassman, Jon’s girlfriend and reality tv star wanna-be that he’s currently “taking a break” from (talk about bad timing), Thomas Meinelt, ex-pap turned body guard for Jon, and Jon’s three attorneys, Mathew Kirschner, Mark Heller and Mathew Heller. No word yet if lawyers for TLC expect Rabbi Famewhore to spill what he knows as well.

Sounds like somone’s about to be thrown under the proverbial bus. You just know Kate’s out there somewhere doing the Snoopy Happy Dance over all of this.

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TLC, all Kateall the time.  Ok, not quite but close.  Kate Gosselin, who’s gone from vilified bitch and ball breaker, to woman done wrong by her douchebag of a husband, is going to have yet another one hour “special” on The Learning Channel  tonight.  Whaaaaaaat!!!? AGAIN??! 

Apparently, there’s still more to tell (no there really isn’t) and Kate sat down to be interviewed with Natalie Morales of the Today Show, where she also appeared on this morning to plug the TLC interview.  Hmmm. I suspect “someone” wants a gig on the Today Show.

I don’t know what has been asked or how Kateresponded for tonight’s non-special special, but I’m pretty confident she’ll drop the following bombs that none of us have ever heard before.  At all (yes we have).

She really loves her kids.  She’s a mother first.  She’s doing this for them. The kids love being filmed. The show gives them opportunities.  Jon’s main focus is Jon. She will also talk about in no particular order, trust, adultery, betrayal, money, theft, her hair, the media, the paps, her wedding ring, and people cashing in on her fame (oh, the irony).

Will you tune in?  Kate and TLC want you to.

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Words in English can’t begin to desccribe the horror…

Jon Gosselin actually managed to out famewhore Speidi‘s Halloween costume as Jon & Kate, by going out as ”America’s Heartthrob” with his face on the cover of the Enquirer.  So much for the mea culpa he released via statement to CNN the other day. Do you think he’s aware of the irony here, or is it beyond him?  Do you think he cares?  What will Rabi Famewhore say? Lastly and most importantly, who’s bod is that?

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A pair of famewhores dressed as another pair of famewhores.  Brilliant satire, or ironic act of attention seeking desperation? 

This is Spencer Pratt and his wife Heidi Montag (Speidi) of The Hills, dressed as Jon & Kate Gosselin, plus 4 of the 8 and in doing so, scaring the living daylights out of all of us wondering if this (successful) bid at  media attention is now giving them “notions”.

You have to wonder how many Jon and Kates will be out there this Halloween, (I’m thinking at least several thousand).  Apparently, Speidi had a couple of “extras” on hand as exasperated TLC programing executives.  No word if Audrina Patridge or one of the other interchangeable members of the “cast” of the Hills was on hand as Hailey Glassman.

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In a statement that doesn’t sound at all like it was written by a publicist or PR flack, Jon Gosselin has responded to girlfriend Hailey Glassman’s accusations that he’s emotionally abusive, prone to “mantrums” and in general, a douchebag.  To which everyone on the planet should have replied, “Well, duh.”

In a written statement to CNN, Jon says he is taking “regular study sessions and counseling” with a celebrity rabbi (of course) who just happens to be none other than Shmuley Boteach, ex-spiritual advisor to Michael Jackson.  That would be the one with  the new book to hawk, The Michael Jackson Tapes,  and the TLC show Shalom in the Home.  Amazing. Even when famewhores insist they’re not trying to famewhore, they famewhore.  

The statement continued to read that Gosselin feels that he’s “betrayed the moral principles that have always guided me” and continued with “It is my sincere desire to use the fame I have so unexpectedly acquired to highlight mature, responsible behavior as well as the joys of fatherhood and family. I ask the public to please understand the challenges I face in living under constant public scrutiny, even as I am aware that I have at times courted that scrutiny.”

I’m not sure how sincere or genuine this is, or what the motivation behind it is other than the perception that the public was getting tired of hearing about his shenanigans. There’s somewhat of a “I’m truly very sorry that I got caught” vibe to all of this.  After all, it’s hard to charge $12 grand per appearance if your truly reviled, even if you are famous.

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Famewhore wannabe, drunken plant attacker, and possible step-mommy to Jon’s youngen’s (as if) Hailey Glassman has gone boo-hoo-hoo-ing to The Insider panel over her relationship with Jon Gosselin. Because when you hit a rough patch with your douchebag, famewhoring boyfriend, going on a TV show to whine about it is the best way to fix things. Are your eyes rolling yet?  Read on.  

Between tears, Hailey manages to tell them in a segment that will air Thursday, “We’re at a point now where I don’t know why I love him. He gets frustrated and angry and I’m the one who gets the brunt. He’ll call me and take his anger out on me. He has ‘mantrums.’ I shouldn’t have to put up with being emotionally abused. I cry and say why are you so mean to me? He takes it out on me. He talks over me so I can’t speak. Sometimes he has trouble with the truth and he will dance and dance around his lies. He’s like Jekyll and Hyde. But I still love him.”

Glassman goes on to complain that besides driving a wedge between her and her family, she’s tired of all the unwanted attention. “I want to continue my life. I want my name to be forgotten.” 

Riiiiiiiight.  Appearing on a syndicated national TV show is the best way to get your life back and your name forgotten.  My guess?  Jon got a lot less attractive once TLC kicked him to the curb and any chance of her being on the show completley evapurated.  Why do I get the feeling this is her way of auditioning for a spot on Rock of Love, The Bachelor, or even as The Bachelorette?

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