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So now it’s come to this.

With little else to turn to as acting, paid escorting, fame-whoring for money, and designingcreative consulting all seem to have fallen by the wayside due to her behavior, Lindsay Lohan is turning to that tried and true way to make a buck, the frivolous lawsuit.

According to the New York Post (via Gawker) Lindsay feels that the above Superbowl ad in which a baby named Lindsay that’s a “milkaholic” is mentioned is really all about her and is seeking damages to the tune of $100 million dollars. 

In the suit filed yesterday, Lindsay’s lawyer is seeking an injunction to ban the ad from being shown and wants all copies of the ad as well.  “They used the name Lindsay. They’re using her name as a parody of her life. Why didn’t they use the name Susan? This is a subliminal message. Everybody’s talking about it and saying it’s Lindsay Lohan.”

Riiiiiiiiiight.

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This woman’s name is becoming synonymous with greed (besides hypocrisy and stupidity).

Sarah Palin showed her true coloursagain yesterday when she and 20 of her minions allegedly “cleaned out” one of those Oscar Gifting Suites. 

“Gifting Suites” are a pretentiousname for hotel conference rooms turned into giant gift grabbing or swag centres for celebs.  No one pays for anything, although they do have to pay taxes for all goods and services (or are at least supposed to) recieved.

(Side note – may I also just state how much I hate how the term “gifting” or “gifted” has caught on, as in “I gifted so and so with a new sweater”?  It’s GIVE or GAVE  people.  Learn it, live it, love it.  Ok, rant over.  We now return you to our regularly scheduled bashing of Sarah Palin).

Apparently, Palin helped herself to clothing, cosmetics, jewelery, 40 pairs of headphones, and got her kid’s hair done.  According to sources that were there she wouldn’t let anyone take her picture (lest she look greedy?) and refused interviews.  One person described the scene as akin to watching locusts swarm.

Palin for her part, gave a $1700 donation to the Red Cross at the event, but since she and her posse left with several times that amount in swag, not to mention what she’s earning, it seems kind of stingy.

No idea why Palin, who has nothing to do with the Academy Awards was allowed into an “Oscar Gifting (ugh) Suite” in the first place.  Perhaps it has something to do with that reality TV show she and producer Mark Burnett (Survivor) are shopping around to the networks?

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Unless it wins big on Sunday night at the Oscars, Kathryn Bigelow’s film about a US Army bomb disposal unit member in Iraq will be best known for all the drama surrounding it off screen.

First, producer Nicolas Cartier was barred from attending the Academy Awards earlier this week, punishment for sending out e-mails to Academy members urging them to vote for The Hurt Locker and “not that $500 million dollar movie“, a reference to Avatar.  Apparently, promoting a film while slamming another is a major no-no in la-la land. 

Now a man who served with the US Army as a bomb disposal expert himself has launched a multi-million dollar lawsuit against the makers of the film, including Summit Entertainment which is the films distributor, claiming they cheated him out of “financial participation” and that Jeremy Renner’s character in the movie is based on him. 

Jeffery Sarver says that he was interviewed by Mark Boal in Iraq in 2004, who was imbedded in his three person unit for 30 days.  Boals experiences led to a story in Playboy the following year, which was then eventually adapted by Boal into the screenplay for The Hurt Locker.

Sarver and his lawyer also claim he came up with the phrase “The Hurt Locker” as well as the call signal “Blaster One” which was used in the movie.

Summit Entertainment (which is probably at this point just wishing it had stuck to films about sparkly, fang-less vampires) says it’s looking for a “quick resolution” to the claims made by Sarver.

Guess serving your country may turn out to be quite profitable, provided Hollywood gets invloved and you get yourself a good lawyer.

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Drama unfolded in the Jackson household yesterday as Jermaine Jackson’s kid Jafaar (naming your kid after a Disney cartoon villain is never a good start) decided to test a taser out on Michael Jackson’s youngest, 8 year old Blanket.

Apparently, Jafaar had ordered the stun gun online and had it in his position for a few days when he allegedly decided (at Jermaine’s urging?) to try it out on his younger cousin. 

Security and Katherine Jackson (MJ’s mother) heard the commotion and immediately confiscated the weapon.  Blanket was unhurt and Child Protective Services were called in to investigate. 

The Jackson family is saying that Blanket never actually got zapped by the thing, (probably not from a lack of trying on Jafaar’s part) meaning that the little bugger can probably move pretty fast when he needs to.

Kids do stupid things all the time (some of my stunts were epic) but there’s something sinister to this story.  Jackson’s kids are worth a huge fortune and some members of that family seem to be very greedy.  Just sayin’…

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Condoms would have been waaaaaaaay cheaper.

A judge has ruled that Levi Jonston must pay Bristle (name spelled in error on purpose and it stays) Palin $18 500 in retroactive child support payment for their son Tripp.   Johnston must also begin coughing up $1688.42 per month as well. 

In a statement that doesn’t at all sound like it was written by one of mother Sarah’s flacks, Bristle said, “I have received limited and sporadic financial assistance from Levi“.

According to documents her lawyers forced Levi to submit, he made over $100 000 grand last year famewhoring, but only paid $4 400 in child support.  Dumb move (then again this is Levi Johnston we’re talking about).

Bristle’s lawyer says that she’s happy with the outcome is looking forward to solving her remaing issues with Levi, as long as they come out in her favor. 

Maybe Levi should reconsider that offer to do porn from Corbin Fisher if that Desperate Housewives gig falls through.  He’s going to need the money.

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Sir Paul McCartney better hide the silverware and put his lawyers on red alert, cause his ex will probably be looking for more money from him soon.

 Heather Mills, by all accounts a gold digger extraordinaire and raging bitch, has pretty much gone through the $50 million she got as a settlement for being married to Paul for a few years without a prenup.

Yeah, Paul foolishly married her without one, probably still mourning the death of his wife Linda when he met this shark, who, smelling blood in the water, moved in for the kill. Of course she had a kid.  This type always ensures they produce at least one child with their meal tickets.  Children trump pre-nups and child support payments can keep gold-diggers in the lifestyle they’ve become accustomed to until the children are grown.

As for Heather and the money, she claims “Most of it’s been given to charity, gone into ethical businesses or paid for a couple of properties for my daughter’s future security. I could never sit with millions of pounds in the bank that could make matters change.”

By “charities and ethical business’ ” does she mean The Heather Mills Foundation for Heather Mills and The Heather Mills Slush Fund?  Guess Dancing With The Has-Beens didn’t end up paying her as well as she thought it would.

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Looks like the in your face and outspoken personal trainer is facing potentially hefty losses of the financial kind.

Apparently, the Jillian Michaels Maximum Strength Calorie Control, which claims you only need to “take two before each meal and you lose weight!” failed to deliver it’s promise and two separate class action lawsuits have been launched in California by a pair of weight conscious women with dollar signs floating before their eyes.

Christie Christensen and Stephanie Creer both filed the suits this week, saying the label constituted false advertising.  According to E! Online, Christensen is seeking about $5 million in damages.  Although the label does say that the product has not been tested by the FDA,  the company that makes it, Thincare, is ready to fight it out in court, saying they’re confident they’ll win.

In a statement Michaels said, “My reputation and credibility are of the utmost importance to me.  This baseless lawsuit is entirely without merit and is being handled by my legal team…I stand behind all my products and remain committed to helping people achieve their health and wellness goals.”

You know, this could all have been avoided had the two women just stuck with a diet of  Tic-Tacs and Ex-lax or actually tried exercise.  Works wonders, though it won’t increase the size of your bank account.

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The honeymoon period is over as it looks like the cast of Jersey Shore and MTV are already at odds again.

The issue this time?  According to Page Six, the relentless appearances the gang keeps making, thus risking over-exposure and the inevitable backlash.

After negotiating salaries that supposedly will gross each cast member $15 000 per episode, MTV doesn’t want their new brand to become synonymous with greed by showing up to every event, opening, or club that’s willing to throw money at them.

 Apparently, MTV wants the cast to limit themselves to two appearances a week and get their prior approval too.  Cast members can be fined or even face lawsuits if they flout the rules, although some of them are trying to get all they can while the getting is good.

Can’t say I blame the kids for trying to strike while the iron is hot, but at the rate they’re going, no one will bother tuning in to see the second season (which is supposed to film sometime this winter) as they all seem to be everywhere you turn.

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The Father and Ex-husband of the year (not to mention complete douchebag) has apparently approcahed the network, offering to hand over his kids allowing them to film his kids again if they back off on their lawsuit against him for breach of contract, according to Radar Online.

Guess things must be getting tight for him, what with a rumoured five figure per month child support payment he’s supposed to make and no viable way to come up with that kind of money being barred from famewhoring by court order.  Also?  He’s totally going to lose that breach of contract suit this spring and he knows it. 

TLC for their part, are having none of it, saying in a statement, “The Court has validated our view that Mr. Gosselin has a valid, binding contract and that he has breached it repeatedly. Step one – getting the court to order Mr. Gosselin to comply with his contractual obligations – has been accomplished. Any further breaches going forward will be violations of a court order. We look forward to the next phase of the litigation, which is to pursue our claim for damages resulting from Mr. Gosselin’s numerous breaches.”

In other words, Bitch is going down!

Jon’s lawyer responded with both a threat and a promise, saying “You haven’t seen the last of Jon Gosselin.”

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Start buying stock in hair-gel.

MTV has confirmed that Jenni, Ronni, J-Wow, Pauly D, Vinnie, The Situation, and everybody’s favorite punching bag, Snookie, all re-signed after a week of some pretty tense negotiations.

The network played hardball, saying that any cast-members who didn’t agree to their offer (originally said to be about $5000 per episode) would be replaced.  No word on what was finally agreed upon, but the amount would be significantly higher than what was paid for the first season, as Jersey Shore became yet another reality show hit turning the cast into instant celebs.

In addition to their salary, the Jersey Shore cast (gang? crew? bunch?) demand and get a lot of money for making appearances at various events and clubs.  How long do you think it’ll be before community colleges start offering courses in “Professional Celebrity” to wannabe famewhores?

As for the second season, MTV has ordered 12 episodes to air next summer which will follow the cast as “they escape the cold north-east and find themselves in a new destination” meaning that Jersey Shorewon’t actually take place in New Jersey.  How avant-garde!  

Looks like Florida or Mexico is about to be invaded, Guido style.

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