It’s been a busy couple of  days for Lindsay.

After testing positive for coke and amphetamines (likely Adderall or meth) a bench warrant was issued yesterday by the judge now overseeing her case for Lindsay’s arrest.  Lindsay needs to show up for court Friday morning to answer for failing her drug tests.  Most are expecting her to be thrown back in jail, although “experts” are saying it’s highly unlikely she’ll spend the aforementioned thirty days she was told she’d serve for breaking the terms of her freedom behind bars (I’m guessing she spends about four).

Meanwhile, Radar was just trumpeting yesterday that Lindsay was on the verge of financial ruin, but it looks like they spoke too soon.  TMZ is saying the Lohans have settled that over the top lawsuit for $100 million against E-trade where they claimed a commercial with mention of a “milkaholic” baby named Lindsay was an obvious and damaging reference to Lindsay herself.

Apparently, E-tradeblinked and agreed to settle out of court.  No word on how much cash they had to throw the Lohan’s way, but Lindsay and Dina are said to be “very pleased” with the amount.  What a pair of con artists.

No more Lindsay posts til Friday (I promise), unless she runs someone over with her new car or does something equally newsworthy.

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Guess this means those hoping for Mariah Carey are SOL.

After word got out earlier this summer that Jennifer Lopez had been signed to be a judge on America’s biggest karaoke contest, only to lose the deal due to her “outrageous” diva demands, looks like Team J-Lo and producers of American Idol have compromised, kissed, and made up.

According to Deadline Hollywood, the producers were forced to play hardball with J-Lo when she wanted what used to be called a vanity deal in the industry.  In addition to wanting $15 million per season, she’d also get a movie and TV development deal with Fox. Like the diva that she still thinks she is, rumour is J-Lo was also pissed off that Steven Tyler was offered a gig without her being consulted first. 

Nigel Lythgoe and company ended up letting word leak out that J-Lo had been dumped and that they were considering going with plan-B, (aka Mariah Carey).  Nothing like the suggestion that a diva’s going to be replaced by a much hated rival in order to make her more agreeable.  The gambit worked and J-Lo is said to have agreed to $12 million per season and no movie or TV deal.  One of those anonymous sources says there’s no way J-Lo would have turned down a $12 million gig, as “she lives very well. It comes at a cost.”

Fox is playing coy about the announcement.  Supposedly, J-Lo wants the news to coincide with the release of her first single with her new record label, Island Def Jam later this month.

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You just know Daniellle (Prostitution Whore!) Staub is loving this.

Rumour is Teresa is now on the outs with Andy Cohen and the rest of the high foreheads at Bravo.  Word is the suits at the network moved to cast Teresa’s sister in-law Melissa Gorga as a way of playing hardball with financially challenged famewhore, who is said to want a 100% raise to come back for the third season.

Do I need to mention that Teresa the Terrible does not get along with her sister in law at all?  Although it’s a foregone conclusion that getting on Teresa’s sh*t list is an exceptionally easy thing to do, Danielle did some digging into the Guidice family and found out Teresa the Terrible’s husband Joe allegedly stepped out on her with the sister-in-law, fathering a son.  Allegedly.  Hence all the hatred between the two.

Right out of a soap opera, right?

Also complicating matters even further, Teresa published a cookbook called The Skinny Italian, and in addition to hiding her $250 000 advance from her bankrupty filing (totally illegal and totally busted for it) she promised Bravo 10% of the royalties in exchange for hawking the book on The Real Housewives of New Jersey.  However, the scenes shot where Teresa is making the recipes and talking about the book never aired.  The Skinny Italian only ended up being mentioned once in the much talked about reunion show (where Teresa knocked host Andy Cohen over trying to attack Danielle).

 How come the most interesting drama going on in these reality TV shows never happens in front of the cameras?

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Teresa Giudice, the neanderthalesque cast member of Real Housewives of New Jersey with garish taste and no self control when it comes to shopping is laying the blame for all her financial woes squarely at the feet of Bravo.

Huh?

Apparently, right after declaring bankruptcy, Teresa and her husband Joe dropped over $60 thousand on new furniture for their new home.  The judge overseeing their case felt this was a little excessive, basically saying for people who claim to have no money, they should stick to shopping at Ikea.

Oooooh, BURN.

Lest you think that they spent $60k on furnishing the whole house, think again.  Over $8 000 went to drapes, with another $45 000 dropped on wall hangings, mirrors, tables and chairs.  (All their old crap is up for auction October 3rd to pay their creditors). 

Teresa’s lawyer whined to People that “she needed to re-buy furniture because she didn’t have any furniture in the house.  It’s a big house and she wanted furniture consistent with her style on the show. There is nothing wrong with doing that, except that it doesn’t look good for her to be doing it.”

You think?  With legal advice like that, is it any wonder the Giudice’s are in trouble?  Cripes. 

Meanwhile, some insider (probably Joe) told Popeater ”Everything would be settled by now, but because she is now famous everyone is using the situation to get press for themselves and humiliate her and her family [cough- Danielle Staub-cough]. It’s honestly got to the point where she’s not sure if she wants to come back for another season.  Teresa is sick of everyone knowing all her private financial business.  She didn’t sign up to be on ‘Housewives’ so that everyone could look into her bank account. Millions of couples go through what they are going through, except no one knows about it. It’s just not fair.”

Ah, the seldom used after age 10 but always entertaining “it’s not fair” arguement.  It’s scary to think that people with this attitude have reproduced, no?

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Here we go, yet again.

Radar Online has now released the first of many voicemails that Mad Mel left Gold-Digger.  Well, at least by selling a voicemail where he knew he was being recorded she’s not breaking any laws or court orders this time.

In this sure to be smash from the people who brought you his previous hits, Mad Mel tells Gold-Digger to get it on with her ex, Timothy Dalton, calling her a “Glum C**t” and saying “You can get it on with anybody else and your son can watch it.”

He certainly has a way with words, no?

It’s pretty clear now that whatever their motives where initially, each bit off way more than they could chew by becoming involved with one another.

Cripes.

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TMZ is saying Oksana (Gold-Digger) Grigorieva has voicemails that Mad Mel left her ranting and raving about various things as he is wont to do.  She plans on releasing them (maybe as a boxed set for Christmas?) to the highest bidder.  I sense a bidding war in the works between TMZ and Radar Online.

Speaking of TMZ, Gold-Digger supposedly had her rep go to them on her behalf, telling them that Mel had said he wanted “Jew blood on his hands” in apparent reference to TMZ over-lord Harvey Levine, for breaking the story on Mad Mel’s original anti-semitic rant back in 2006 (the Sugar-Tits debacle).  Gold-Digger claimed Mel told her he was having Levine followed, and planned to have him kidnapped, then left out in the desert beaten, naked, with broken knee-caps.  Gold-Digger says she went to the police, but Levine was never contacted by them and his minions at TMZ investigated, eventually dismissing the story as fiction.

As for the original tapes that started this whole thing, looks like it may have been Gold-Digger’s sister, Natalie, that sold the tapes to Radar Online.  Word is she’s being investigated by authorities as well as Gold-Digger and could be held in contempt of court, as the tapes were ordered sealed by the judge presiding over the custody case back in June.  Apparently, the tapes were shopped around, with most outlets saying no, as the sisters (come on, they’re  both in on it) wanted them to be purchased without anyone hearing any of them first.

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Before you walk away in utter disgust with yet another post about these two, it gets interesting, so bare with me.

Word via the Hollywood Reporter this morning is that the LA sheriff’s department is investigating Oksana for extortion, because according to a source there, it was Mad Mel, not Oksana, that walked away from the $15 million dollar hush money agreement that they had and that’s why she started to tape his rants, which were eventually sold leaked to the media.  DUN!

Apparently, Mad Mel has a text from her that says “You broke your agreement”.  Granted, that could apply to anything, including promising not to lose his temper and yell, but there are allegedly other messages that make it pretty clear there was a shakedown attempt going on.

Oksana’s lawyer also had his knuckles rapped by the judge for failure to disclose to the court about the $15 million dollar settlement that fell apart. Although Oksana’s lawyer tried to explain that her actions (including waiting months to get a restraining order) were caused from bad legal advise, the judge was having none of it and said that he found those explanations both ”disturbing” and “disingenious at best”.  The judge also ordered the tapes sealed, hence Oksana’s prior clam that she doesn’t know who’s leaking them, but thinks “it’s terrible”. 

Bitch, please.

Neither Mad Mel or Gold-Digger’s spokesminions are talking about this latest wrinkle in the ongoing drama.  Stay tuned….

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Whew, that was close!  The world can start spinning again.

Word is the cast of Jersey Shore (minus the boring one who bailed) have all signed new contracts with MTV, giving each of them a 200% salary increase to $30k per episode for seasons three and four.  Guess MTV is dropping the pretense of the second season being split into two parts for the contract ploy that it was.

Apparently, The Situation was the first to resign, followed by DJ Pauly D. Realizing which way the wind was blowing, Snooki, J-Woww (of the New Jersey Wowws) and the rest jumped on the bandwagon.

The second season begins on July 29th.  GTL (gym, tan, laundry), Baby.

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How damning must the dirt Oksana Grigorieva have on Mel be that she was willing to turn her back on $15 million to hand over the tapes (yes, those tapes) and keep her mouth shut?

Cripes.

Apparently, the deal was struck back in May, but Oksana felt she was being coerced into signing so she walked away from the table.  (I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, blackmail is totally legit as long as you have your lawyers do the talking for you)  Team Mel says this proves that she was after money all along and was willing to do anything to get it.  Team Oksana says it proves that she wasn’t interested in the cash since she turned down a huge offer.

My guess is Gold-digger probably wanted more, or realized she could sell each tape for a hefty sum and have payback on Mad Mel.  Pity they couldn’t make it work, they sort of deserve each other.

Update -  Radar has just released tape # 6 of Mad Mel’s greatest hits and it’s a doozy.  Whether she played Mel and baited him or not, I’ll give Oksana this, I think she’s right on the money when she says “Everybody’s pussy footing around you because they’re all scared sh*tless of you.”

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More drama behind the scenes of MTV‘s Jersey Shore.  

Word is (via TMZ) that most of the cast is refusing to show up for filming the “second” part of the second season, while  Radar Online is saying that the network has given them until today to show up for work “or else”.

It’s sort of convoluted, but from the sounds of things, MTV is trying to pull a bit of fast one, referring to the next phase of production as the second half of the second season or 2B (even though it’s also been identified as “cycle three”) so they don’t have to re-enter contract negotiations with the cast.  2A is the part that was filmed down in Miami during the spring.

MTV is taking a divide and conquer approach, offering Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino a bonus of $60 000 to $1800 000, depending how ratings go for both parts of the second season, plus a huge salary increase of up to $45 thousand per episode for season three (or four, depending on how you look at it).

Confusing, isn’t it?  No wonder Angelia (the boring one that split a couple of episodes into the first season) left again.

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