According to some 26 year old hooker that sold her story to In Touch Weekly, he did back in 2007.

Irma Nici says that she played with Becks personal soccer balls five separate times three years ago and was paid $10 grand a piece for services rendered and one assumes, her silence.    

Irma says Becks was a 7.5 as a lover (when I first read that, I thought it meant something else entirely), and one time kind of burned himself when he used perfumed hand lotion to grease himself up, if you know what I mean and I think that you do.

Not satisfied with telling tales out of school, Irma also claims Becks confided in her, saying that he liked Posh better when she wasn’t quite as skinny and that “he is more of a butt man than a breast man”. 

Oh.  Snap.  

Meanwhile, Posh and Becks have gone on the defensive, having their spokesminion contact US Magazine to issue a denial saying that the hooker, InTouch, and the story are all full of BS. 

Legal action is also being apparently being taken as well.  Isn’t that what they all say or threaten to do?  If (and that’s a major “if” given Beck’s history) the story’s not true, by all means they should sue the magazine and go after the hooker while they’re at it.  If the story is true, well, guess the next move is Posh’s to make isn’t it?

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This does not bode well.

When the psyophant of the tabloids says there may be trouble in paradise, chances are there’s at least a kernel of truth to some of the rumours floating around.

Of course, People doesn’t come right out and say Ashton is f*cking around on Demi, leaving that to the latest issue of Star, (which claims that 21 year old Rachel Uchitel wanna-be has now provided them with “proof” of her hook-up in the form of text messages that are supposedly from Ashton) opting instead to go with the more gentle approach of saying the marriage is under strain because of the rumours.

Radar has also entered the fray, saying that this Brittney Jones character (aka Rachel Uchitel wanna-be) has already hired a publicist and a manager and that she comes from a “family of gold-diggers”.  Sounds like someone plans on launching a career in the entertainment industry based on a scandal.

Give it til early next week and Gloria Allred will be probably be involved in this mess too.

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The big question is why?

Normally I don’t pay attention to the bottom feeding tabloids, as their stories are usually about as real as an episode of The Hills.  However, the response from the people involved with the last story about them seems to have prompted Star Magazine to come up with a full size cover story this time around. 

This is going to get good, I can tell.

Earlier in the month, Star Magazine reported that some anonymous eyewitness saw Ashton Kutcher stepping out on Demi Moore with a blonde piece, having a full make-out session of the bathroom of a restaurant/club in LA.  Highly unlikely, right?

Ashton got on his Twitter account, denying the whole thing and alluding a lawsuit might be in the works.  Then Demi got in on the act, echoing his Tweets and posting a picture of herself in a bikini as if to ask “who in their right mind would step out on this?”

Sidenote – to quote Bill Maher, “men want new sex (that is, sex with new people) the way women want new shoes” (except for us gays, who want both).  Sure you have a perfectly good pair at home that will fulfill your needs, but anyone who’s taken psychology or economics will tell you wants are stronger than needs.  Just sayin…

Anyway…back on topic.   Guess Ashton’s lawyer didn’t agree as there’s been no word of a lawsuit (you just know TMZ would be on that the moment papers are filed).  Now it looks like Star has taken this as either a sign of weakness or open season on Demi and Ashton’s relationship, with a new cover story saying Ashton stepped out on Demi with yet another woman, some 21 year old skank that says they did the deed in the couple’s living room.  Classy.

As they say, the ball is in Ashton and Demi’s court now.

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Looks like Halle Berry is over her breakup with Gabriel Aubrey. 

According to People, the actress has been getting all lovey dovey in Paris with her most recent co-star, Oliver Martinez.

The pap who took the pics (hilariously referred to as an anonymous onlooker by the tabloid) said “ It was the classic ‘I’m going to kiss you here in a dark corner’ move. And she was waiting to be kissed.”

Gag.  Guess the drones at over at Harlequin Romance are having to moon-light in these tough economic times.

As for Halle’s latest piece, no word if this is serious or just a fling.  Here’s hoping for her sake it’s the later.  Oliver is said to have issues when it comes to “committing”, having dated (and supposedly cheated on) Mia Sorvino, and Kylie Minogue in the past.

Didn’t Halle ever hear of that old saying, “never date a man prettier than you”?

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Well! I for one, am shocked and appalled.

A guy going by the name Robert Randolph has supposedly written a tell all book all about the “secret gay spa culture” in Hollywood (celebs going to bathhouses in the LA area for sexy times with other guys) in which he names names. 

Rob told The National Enquirer  that he ran into John Travolta several times over the years, saying, “I met John in 1998, after he had married Kelly. I believe the marriage is a total fraud because John is totally into guys and has been having sex with them behind Kelly’s back for years. He came on to me a number of times. I always turned him down. But there was always some guy who was willing to have sex with him. And John didn’t stop cheating on Kelly after either of their children was born. John’s a cheating dog. It’s just been wrong, because his wife seems like such a sweet woman.”

Rob also says that Travolata “ blatantly cruises guys, and doesn’t seem to care who sees him. I saw him with his lover and he couldn’t get enough. And when the details emerge, he’s gonna make Tiger Woods look like a boy scout.” Travolta’s “secret gay life is one of Hollywood’s worst kept secrets.”

Robert passed a lie detector test the folks at the Enquirer gave him so you know it must be totally true (ahem).  But!  There seems to be a lack of, shall we say, information about this book anywhere except for a rather amateurish looking website.

Could Robert be trying to pull a Rachel Uchitel/Tiger Woods type move on John Travolta?  Go to Enquirer.  Allude to knowing “things”.  Lawyer up.  Get payout? 

So far, there’s been no response from the Travolta’s camp. 

Stay tuned…

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The Hip Hop world was all aflutter yesterday as news broke that rapper Drake (Gabriel Drake Aubrey or that kid in the wheelchair from Degrassi) and Niki Minaj both Tweeted that they had gotten married.

“Please refer to @nickiminaj as Mrs. Aubrey Drake Graham and dont stare at her too long. She’s finally mine. .”

“Baby u scared?”

Hmmm.  Real deal or publicity stunt?

Spokesminions for both say that the Tweets aren’t true and the couple isn’t married while his “people” try to convince Drake to get an annulment and have an iron clad prenup in place first, just yanking the chains of their fans and the media.

Oh.  Burn?

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Well, actually the actors that portray Sookeh and Bill did.

Us is reporting that True Blood’sAnna Paquin and Steven Moyer tied the knot in a private ceremony in Malibu Saturday night.

Details are sketchy at the moment – all that’s been reported so far is that co-star Carrie Preston (Arlene on True Blood) and her husband, Michael Emerson (Ben LOST) were in attendance.

Anna and Steven met during filming of the first season of the HBO smash hit.  It is the first marriage for both.

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…If she hasn’t already.

The resident transexual Oompa Loompa of Jersey Shore kicked her last boyfriend to the curb for being a famewhore, yet it looks like history is repeating itself with her latest fling.

She’s now dating Jeff Miranda, a 24 year old Iraq war Vetran that she meet at Karma, one of the watering holes she and the other cast members go to get drunk and create mayham (all for the cameras, of course).

Apparently, Miranda has no interest whatsoever in being in front of the cameras (cough-bullsh*t-cough), having scored interviews with both  Us and People, in which he told the later, ”If they offered me to be on the show over Nicole, I’d say no. I said, ’F*ck the cameras, let’s run away.’ I want people to stop hating. It’s not about fame, it’s about me being happy.”

Cue eye-roll.

Miranda fancies himself something of an aspiring actor, with a profile (since deleted) on GotCast.Com, a website devoted to helping people land bit parts in TV and film.  Word is he auditioned for Jersey Shore back when producers were initally casting for the show, but didn’t make the cut. 

This may have already run it’s course though.  Word is Miranda hasn’t heard from Snooki since the weekend.

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She looks great, no?

Chelsea Clinton got hitched to Marc Mezvinsky today in front of 500 guests at a swanky 50 acre estate in Rhinebeck NY.

Much has been made that the faciltity doesn’t actually have faciltities, so $15 000 port-o-potties were brought in.  Now that is some expensive sh*t.

Few details have emerged about the wedding, (the bride wore a Vera Wang gown) and since it’s only just past midnight, the festivities are probably still going strong.

Congrats you two crazy kids!

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Seen partying it up in St Tropaz, Tara Riedand her ex-ex-fiance, “Internet entrepreneur” Michael Axtmann seem to have rekindled their relationship after calling it off earlier this spring, allegedly because she wouldn’t sign a prenup. 

Guess they decided to give it another go as they have so much in common.  Tara probably likes spending his money, Michael probably needs a beard. (Wait, did I just type that out loud?)

Hmmmm.  Got to wonder if this means the engagement is back on, and if so, has the prenup been signed or not?

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