A couple months after totally getting dumped deciding to part ways with her record label Sony Music Epic Group , J-Lo confirmed to  Hitfix yesterday that she’s signed on with LA Reid’s Island Def Jam label.

Word is J-Lo was let go as her music isn’t selling like it once was and two singles for her as of yet unreleased album were basically DOA.  Rumour started about a week afterwards that another record label was interested in her and the two parties were in “talks”.

Does this mean that Love, Jennifer Lopez’s seventh studio album will end up getting released after all, or will it be completely mothballed?  Besides being a very “hands on” producer, LA Reid is well known for putting his artists back in the studio to crank out new material if he’s not satisfied with the performance of a current album (Rhianna’s Rated R), or scrap a project altogether if interest doesn’t seem to be there (Mariah Carey’s Angels Advocate remix album).

Speaking of Mimi, does this mean she’s on her way out at Island Def Jam?  Having just had her latest project scrapped, she’s got to be feeling the heat and this news won’t help matters.  Apparently, Mimi and J-Lo do not get along.  At all. 

I sense major drama in the making.

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Whoever she is.

Jesse James’ (aka  The Vanilla Gorilla, aka Tiger Woods Version 2.0) alleged fourth mistress will remain anonymous, at least until one of her “friends” sells her out to the Enquirer.

Ho #4, who’s described as a ”model and business woman”, (which just screams online porn star), seeing the sh*t storm that is now surrounding Bombshell and skanks two and three, took her proof and her story and went not to any of the tabloids, but to lawyer Gloria Allred.

Allred released a statement on Ho # 4′s behalf, telling Radar ”The woman has decided she will not tell her story”

Smart move.

Why settle for $30k  from a tabloid when you can probably get a significantly hire amount for keeping your mouth shut, if not your legs?  Provided you have a shark in your corner.  After all, it worked for Rachel (Faithless Hussy) Uchitel, allegedly to the tune of $3 million.

Guess this is the new business model for some enterprising young women. Have an affair with rich married man (preferably famous with something to lose), keep all documentation and evidence, sell to highest bidder or keep affair secret for right price, but only if deal brokered through a lawyer, otherwise it’s considered blackmail.

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1. Taylor Lautner – age 18

Why him? 

The kid’s gorgeous, and is part of one of the argueably largest movie franchises ever.  He’s also obviously mom and management team approved, since he’s never really been seen in Swift’s company without one or the other.

Why not him?

Besides a two year age difference, there’s something a little….off about Taylor Lautner.  The apparent lack of any friends his own age (whatever happened to that guy he was hanging around with a couple of months ago?), combined with some way too practiced mannerisms, reminds some of another famous movie star who may be leading a double life.  Also, didn’t Swift say there was “a lack of chemistry”, hence their break-up?

Need you hear more?   Ok then, mom and manager approved. 

‘Nuff said.

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2. Cory Monteith – age 26

Why him?

A little bit older than Swift, the handsome actor is on one of the hottest shows on TV (Glee) which shows no sign of slowing down, yet.  Relatively new to the game, he appears to be genuinly decent and seems to actually have some chemistry with Swift.

Why not him?

At Swift’s age nice guys are nice but also kind of dull.  Something about this seems a little contrived as well.  Almost like her people realized that no one was buying her relationship with Lautner upon further examination, so they’re trying it again with another beard, for lack of a better word. .

After all, anyone’s better than…

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3. John Mayer – age 32

Why him?

Looks, charm, and charisma.  He obviously has them (or at least uses them when he wants) as much as it pains one to admit it.  At 32, he’s about twelve years older than Swift, so he probably comes across to her as worldly, deep and mature.  Word is, she’s quite taken with him.  Forbidden fruit is always the sweetest, especially for supposedly conservative christian girls like Swift, who’s allegedly been sneaking around with him on the down low, possibly using number 1 & 2 above as her cover.  Mayer is currently in LA right at the same time Swift is, which is when she just “happened” to be photographed out bowling with Monteith the other night.  Interesting timing, that.  

Why not him?

Mother Swift would absolutely not approve nor would her management team.  Swift’s fans would also likely be aghast, given her squeaky clean high school senior image, which is in direct contrast to Mayer’s prolectivities (golden showers, habitual masturbation, and sexual napalm anyone?) and general douchebag behavior.

So who’s Taylor Swift really with?

Totally John Mayer. 

If they’re not actually dating, it’s just physical.  There’s nothing wrong with that, at all as they’re bboth consenting adults.  Here’s hoping Mayer keeps the path of destruction that usually accompanies him to a minimum.

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This all seems very familiar somehow….is Jesse James the “new” Tiger Woods?

Alleged mistress number three has crawled out of whatever hole she resides in and is claiming that she hit it with JJ four times before calling it off.

Bridgette Daguerre (top right), claims to have 195 text messages from James that she says proves well….it proves nothing other than she was sent sext messages from someone named Vanilla Gorilla (it was totally him).

This comes one day after a stripper named Melissa Smith came forward also claiming to have had sexy-times with JJ, saying they had a two year affair that started about a year after he got married to Bullock.  Apparently, Missy is a bit of a hard ass, with arrests for assaulting a police officer last spring and a recent DUI on her record.  Sounds like the kind of girl you take home to mom, provided mom is a member of Hell’s Belles and lives in a trailer.

As for mistress numero uno, Bombshell McGee, she claims she did it all for her kids in order to somehow get money and a better life for them.  How nobel of her.

Somewhere out there, Tiger Woods is probably smiling, relieved that the man-hospotlight and public scrutiny finally seems to be shifitng on to someone else’s indiscretions.

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Dating.  Not dating.  No, really dating.

In an exlusive interview with Life&Style magazine, Real Housewives of Atlanta cast member Kim Zolciak confirms that she is indeed in a relationship with Dj Tracy Young after having dismissed the story as gossip early last month.

Apparently, Kim identifies herself as bisexual (a meal ticket is a meal ticket after all) and claims the reason she denied the relationship when the story first broke was that she hadn’t had a chance to speak to her family yet about what was going on at the time.

Awkward.

Kim’s coming out as bi and in a relationship will obviously be a plot-line/story arc on the upcoming season of The Real Housewives of Atlanta.

Speaking of which….

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Guess she’s over her ex and moved on.

Reese Witherspoon was photographed out and about with her new boyfriend Jim Toth, a 39 year old agent from CAA, which is how he met her (although he doesn’t represent her – conflict of interest rules and such).

Apparently, Reese has been seeing Jim since the beginning of the year, but this is obviously their way of saying they’re officially together, by being photographed by the paps over a weekend getaway to Ojai.  Non-celebs just have to settle for awkward intoductions at house parties and family get-to-gethers.

Guess Jim’s cute enough (hard to see with the head garb he’s got on), but he’s certainly no Jakey-poo.

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Has the Best Actress Oscar Curse struck again?

Women who win the Oscar for Best Actress seem to run into trouble with their significant other within a year or two of their win. 

It’s happened to Halle Berry,  Hilary Swank, Reese Witherspoon, Kate Winslet and now… Sandra Bullock?

InTouch Magazine (always a reliable source) says that Sandra’s husband Jesse James had been carrying on an affair with Michelle “Bombshell” McGee the demure, delicate, flower pictured to the left, below.

Apparently Bombshell and Jesse (who she nicknamed Vanilla Gorilla) met while Sandra was away filming The Blind Side in Atlanta and carried on for some 11 months.  Bombshell says that Jesse led her to believe that he was seperated from Bullock and that she would never have hooked up with him otherwise.

Giving some weight to this otherwise typical story? 

Jesse’s ex is some overly tatooed trainwreck of a porn star named Janine Lindemulder, so it looks like he has a definate “type”. 

Meanwhile, People is reporting that Sandra has moved out of the LA home she and Jesse shared and it was also reported she cancelled her trip to London for the premiere of The Blind Side, citing “unforseen personal reasons” via a Warner Brothers spokesminion.

Guess this what they mean by “suffering for one’s art”.

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Those of you who miss Paula Abdul on American Idol, take heart.

The sometimes incoherent, often loopy, but always entertaining diminutive D-Lister has signed on as host (and possible judge) for a reboot of Star Search on ABC according to EW.

In related news, Ed McMahon is now spinning in his grave like a top.

What with American Idol, America’s Got Talent, the upcoming American version of the X-Factor and now Star Search, the country’s talent pool (such as it is) is going to be more picked over than a carcass in the middle of the desert.

Invest in ear-plugs and tune in at your own peril.

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Walt would be proud of this arrangement.

What do you do when there are all sorts of blind items posted allegedly referring to one of your young female talent’s hard partying ways, while rumours swirl regarding a young male talent’s which just won’t go away?

It doesn’t help matters that in the space of a couple of weeks the talent gets photographed showing a definite lack of know-how around a football, then gets papped while shopping with a couple of um…friends (see below).

Don’t lie.  You were thinking it too. 

Interesting timing then that Demi Lovato (top pic, left) confirmed to Ryan Seacrest on his radio show the other day that she and Joe Jonas are dating.  Apparently they met while filming Camp Shlock Rock, became friends and are now in lurrrrrve. 

Demi told Ryan Joe is “He is my best friend and he is incredible“. 

Squee!  OMG!  Like, wow!  Totally!!

Well, there you have it!  This should kill those pesky rumours and blind items now right?

(sound of crickets chirping)

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Come to think of it, is there anything left walking/breathing that Butler hasn’t supposedly hooked up with at this point? 

 Hollywood Life is reporting that the Madonna and Gerard Butler were seen bumping and grinding away at some after Oscar party on the dance floor, so of course they’re totally doing it.  Then again, Bonnie Fuller and company also think dressing up a three year old girl in anything but gender specific clothing, accessories and hair styles will lead to “issues”, so two people of the opposite gender seen in each other’s company automatically = sex.

Whatever.

Madonna  and Gerry maybe back in his 300 or Dracula 2000 days, but now?  Highly unlikely.  The Big M likes ‘em young (Jesus) or smokin’ hot (Adam Senn).  Gerry doesn’t exactly fit the bill for either. 

As for Gerry’s seemly trimmer waistline on Oscar night, word is that’s in large part  due to Manx (Spanx for men).

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