Wow!  Shocking!!  Who knew? (Sarcasm).

In a press conference today hosted by Ryan “I’m totally not gay” Seacrest and attended by press and American Idol hopefuls in LA, Steven Tyler and Jennifer Lopez were trotted out.

Blah blah blah “feels fabulous” blah blah “so excited” blah “love”.

What the holy hell is J-Lo wearing?  You know I’m going to tune into this mess each week now, simply to see what ridiculous get-up she has on. 

Also? Cue countdown for stories about feuds (all of them), diva antics (J-Lo), and loopy behavior (Steven Tyler) once the new season gets underway.

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Guess this means those hoping for Mariah Carey are SOL.

After word got out earlier this summer that Jennifer Lopez had been signed to be a judge on America’s biggest karaoke contest, only to lose the deal due to her “outrageous” diva demands, looks like Team J-Lo and producers of American Idol have compromised, kissed, and made up.

According to Deadline Hollywood, the producers were forced to play hardball with J-Lo when she wanted what used to be called a vanity deal in the industry.  In addition to wanting $15 million per season, she’d also get a movie and TV development deal with Fox. Like the diva that she still thinks she is, rumour is J-Lo was also pissed off that Steven Tyler was offered a gig without her being consulted first. 

Nigel Lythgoe and company ended up letting word leak out that J-Lo had been dumped and that they were considering going with plan-B, (aka Mariah Carey).  Nothing like the suggestion that a diva’s going to be replaced by a much hated rival in order to make her more agreeable.  The gambit worked and J-Lo is said to have agreed to $12 million per season and no movie or TV deal.  One of those anonymous sources says there’s no way J-Lo would have turned down a $12 million gig, as “she lives very well. It comes at a cost.”

Fox is playing coy about the announcement.  Supposedly, J-Lo wants the news to coincide with the release of her first single with her new record label, Island Def Jam later this month.

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Well, this is totally shocking (not really).  J-Lo is as demanding an employer as she (allegedly) is an employee. 

According to Life&Style (yeah, I know) Jenny from the block is seeking an assistant after the last one chewed through her restraints and escaped and the requirements are a real scream. 

“The person has to be graceful under pressure, have a thick skin, and be resourceful in foreign countries, among others things. You’ll be expected to travel at a moment’s notice and must know how to adjust in each city. The job is 6 days a week, at least 12 hour days with one day off, but you may not get off for weeks.  You’ll be on call 24/7 and you’ve got to be organized and always on point. You have to change diapers, work on little sleep and cook if the butler is away.  You have to know when J. Lo has her snack time. She won’t say she’s hungry, you’re just expected to have food waiting.”

Sounds like a lovely working environment.  So what is the salary for basically handing over your mind, body, and soul?  $55 to $65 thousand dollars a year (or $17.36 per hour, assuming the lucky canidate hired gets the high end wage).  Apparently, it’s considered a bonus at L&S that “you get to help” J-Lo dress for red carpet events and photo-shoots.

Snort.

No word if your expected to answer to “Peon”, watch J-Lo’s movies, listen to her music, and call her “beautiful” a set number of times per day.

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Looks like the reality of getting dumped by her record label and watching her latest rom-com tank at the theatres earlier this year still hasn’t sunk in just yet.

According to People, J-Lo apparently still thinks she’s living in the year 2000, when she could get away with being a diva.  Apparently, Fox has given her the boot, with a source saying “her demands got out of hand”.

I’m dying to know what it was she wanted, aren’t you?  Here’s hoping someone at FOX leaks J-Lo’s list of “must haves”, they should be good for a giggle or two.

No word who’s going to replace J-Lo (word is Steven Tyler is in, but so far that’s just an unsubstantiated rumour).  Nigel Lythgoe, who’s returned to the fold to produce AI, is supposedly determined to get Paula Abdul back.

Stay tuned….

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Ellen DeGeneres tenure at American Idol turned out to be a short one. 

Apparently, the talk show host and comedienne never felt comfortable at Fox’s flagship karaoke contest and her rumoured feud with Simon Cowell (they hated each other) didn’t help.  Ellen and her reps supposedly went to the network brass and asked to be let out of her contract one year early, saying she wasn’t happy and “it’s not been fun”.  Yikes.

In a statement posted on her website, Ellen wrote, “A couple months ago, I let FOX and the “American Idol” producers know that this didn’t feel like the right fit for me. I told them I wouldn’t leave them in a bind and that I would hold off on doing anything until they were able to figure out where they wanted to take the panel next. It was a difficult decision to make, but my work schedule became more than I bargained for. I also realized this season that while I love discovering, supporting and nurturing young talent, it was hard for me to judge people and sometimes hurt their feelings. I loved the experience working on “Idol” and I am very grateful for the year I had. I am a huge fan of the show and will continue to be.”

There’s nothing wrong with hurting someone’s feelings if they hurt your ears first.  Just sayin’…

For their part, execs at Fox continue to be all smiles, saying how wonderful it was to work with Ellen, blah blah blah, “fortunate to work with”, blah blah, ”incredible spirit”, blah.

Meanwhile, Deadline Hollywood says that Jennifer Lopez has signed on to replace Ellen in a secret deal that was finalized earlier this week.  J-Lo could use the work and the money, seeing how her career hasn’t exactly been on an upwards trajectory lately.  So far this year, she’s been dropped by her record label and her latest movie, The Back-up Plan flopped.

No word if new producer Nigel Lythgoe plans on making “other” changes on American Idol (cough – Ryan Seacrest, Randy Jackson, Karla Diogardi – cough).  Rumour is that Nigel really wants Elton John to come in to replace Simon Cowell (whom he makes look like Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm), but Elton supposedly wants too much money and has touring committments he can’t get out of.   Boo.

Stay tuned….

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J-Lo and Tom Cruise performed a dance off to “Get Right” last night at the MTV Movie Awards.  Is it just me, or is Tom Cruise’s alter ego, Mega-mogul Les Grossman, way more fun than Tom?

Video below (at least for now til it gets pulled).

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My ears!  My poor abused ears!

Jennifer Lopez must have made a friend with someone in the recording studio when she was working on her album Love, and by “made a friend” I mean pissed off an engineer in the studio enough to leak a raw audio clip of her trying to sing a cover of Streisand’s Enough Is Enough.

It certainly is.  This is exactly why I don’t watch American Idol. 

Wherefore art thou, oh Autotune?

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A couple months after totally getting dumped deciding to part ways with her record label Sony Music Epic Group , J-Lo confirmed to  Hitfix yesterday that she’s signed on with LA Reid’s Island Def Jam label.

Word is J-Lo was let go as her music isn’t selling like it once was and two singles for her as of yet unreleased album were basically DOA.  Rumour started about a week afterwards that another record label was interested in her and the two parties were in “talks”.

Does this mean that Love, Jennifer Lopez’s seventh studio album will end up getting released after all, or will it be completely mothballed?  Besides being a very “hands on” producer, LA Reid is well known for putting his artists back in the studio to crank out new material if he’s not satisfied with the performance of a current album (Rhianna’s Rated R), or scrap a project altogether if interest doesn’t seem to be there (Mariah Carey’s Angels Advocate remix album).

Speaking of Mimi, does this mean she’s on her way out at Island Def Jam?  Having just had her latest project scrapped, she’s got to be feeling the heat and this news won’t help matters.  Apparently, Mimi and J-Lo do not get along.  At all. 

I sense major drama in the making.

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Is J-lo trying to become the new Jennifer Aniston?  (Lots of tepid rom-coms?)  

Word via  The Hollywood Reporter today that J-Lo will star in a remake of Overboard. 

Considering the original was kind of meh, it’s surprising that this idea got the green-light, then again, maybe that explains it.

The Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell vehicle from the late 80′s revolved around a wealthy, bitchy, socialite (is there any other kind?) played by Hawn, who falls off her yacht, develops amnesia, and is taken in by a single local yokel (Russel) she previously tried to have fired to help look after his kids.

Hilarity ensues.

Obviously, J-Lo will be playing the socialite, and her ass will be playing the yacht.  No word yet on who will be cast in the part of the hick, but casting directors take note…

Billy Ray Cyrus, your time has come, this is the part you were born to play!  Get in touch with your agent now!

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First her crappy catsuit gets a big thumbs down in the blogiverse.

Now comes word that her new album Love, which was supposed to be released in early April, is postponed as she’s been dropped by her record label, Sony.

J-Lo’s first two singles from the upcoming disc Fresh Out The Oven and Louboutins did ok on the dance charts, but failed to make much of an impact, getting a “meh” reception.

Her manager went into full spin mode, saying “Jennifer had a wonderful relationship with the Sony Music group, and they have shared many successes together, but the time was right to make a change that best serves the direction her career as an actress and recording artist. She is grateful and appreciative to everyone Sony for all that they accomplished together”.

J-lo’s spokesminion says she’s currently begging and pleading in negotiations with a different label, so don’t cross Love off your 2010 CD list just yet.

J-Lo is one of those artists that started at the top with her first release which can be a mixed blessing.  On The 6 was a huge hit when it was released almost 11 years ago, but since then each subsequent album seems to get a colder reception from the music listening public. 

If that wasn’t enough of an ego bruiser, her new movie The Back-Up Plan, has been pushed back to April 23rd as the April 16th date became “too crowded“.

Well, at least J-Lo still has her Saturday Night Live coming up this weekend as both host and musical guest (with a non-existent album to promote and a delayed movie to shill).  Wonder if they’ll write these developments into her monolgue or a skit?

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