Sorry for the late start in posting.  Tis the season you know, and like they say, never drink and post (although chances are I’d be even more creative even if my spelling is more wretched). 

So the Kardashians released their annual Khristmas Kard online.  Of course it’s from Khloe’s wedding.  Of course Ryan Seacrest is in it.  He may not be an actual member of the family, but they know where their bread get’s buttered. He produces their reality TV show with his production company, which foots the bill in exchange for filming things like the said wedding above. 

No word yet today about a response to the claim that Mason Dash’s (the bump in Kourtney in the picture above), paternity may be in question.  I’m sure it’s coming.

The Kardashian’s are masters at getting attention in the media and convincing the world that they’re celebrities worthy of being watched and talked about.  Is it real genius or borderline pathological?

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With the Kardashian’s, you never can tell what’s “real” real and what’s made for their reality TV show real, if you know what I mean and I think that you do.

Anyway, Star Magazine (always a reliable fountain of information) claims that some source (Kim or Khloe?) has told them that Kourtney’s boyfriend, Scott Dissick may not be the baby-daddy of Mason Dash after all.  DRAMA!

Apparently, while Kourtney and Scott were supposedly on the outs, she hooked up a couple of times with some guy named Michael Girgenti (left), a 23 year old model and wanna be rapper that goes by the stage name Premo Stallone.  I swear I’m not making this up.  Also?  That name is total ass.

Premo Stallone obviously being paid to go along with this by the Kardashians, who are tired of Tiger Woods getting all the attention agreed that there’s a “possibility” that he fathered Kourtney’s child when he was contacted by the magazine.

So is Kourtney a big ho?  Is Scott or Premo Stallone the father of her child?  Will the DRAMA! be resolved on an episode of Keeping Up With The Kardashians, or will they need to involve Maury Povich?  Does a baby go “goo”?

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Kourtney Kardashian is a mother…. wait, let’s rephrase that.  She’s given birth.

Mason Dash Dissick was born this morning weighing in at 7lbs 6 ounces.  Both mother and child are doing fine. 

The good news is that we don’t have to hear about every little detail about Kourtney’s pregnancy anymore.  The bad news is we now have to hear every little detail about her perception of  motherhood. 

As for the kid’s name, I was shocked that he didn’t one that started with a “K”, but his second name is typical of the family’s tendency for shameless self promotion.  Dash happens to be the name of the clothing store chain the family owns.

As to which of the three sisters gets married next, or who between Khloe and Kim ends up expecting,  that depends on what the writers of Keeping Up With The Kardashians decide.

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When Oprah announced that she was stepping down and pulling the plug on her long running talk show, it did two things.  First, it made her followers tear their hair out, self flagellate, and wail in grief and sadness.  Ok, not quite, but close.  Secondly, it made getting the already sought after Oprah Seal of Approval all the more valuable to anyone with something to promote.  Almost everything that the Mighty Opes gives her “midas touch” to on her show has a tendency to take off in popularity. 

Enter the Kardashian sisters.  Having been encouraged by Ellen’s relentless, and ultimatley successful campaign to appear on the cover of O Magazine, famewhores Kim, Khloe and Kourtney Kardashian are apparently busy plotting ways to appear on the show as guests.  Chances are this is just another ploy to get attention (congratulations ladies, it’s working) but just in case…

Oprah, please.  You unleashed Dr. Phil on an unsuspecting public.  For all the good that you’ve done since then (and there has been much), you still owe the world one.  Just say no.

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By who? I didn’t know these things were graded, did you? What exactly, is the metric being used for a baby shower?  Did the Kardashians have someone figure out how much all the gifts combined were worth?  Ugh.  2012 cannot get here fast enough for me at this rate.

This weekend, Kourtney’s baby shower was held at Kamp Kardashian.  Lots of guests showed up and gave the mom to be presents for her little attention getting bidbundle of joy.   Kourt even scored gifts from various companies hoping to get mentioned in the media, as well as appearing on the  family’s reality TV show.  Product placement much?

You know, everyone should have one (a reality show, not a baby).  Think about it, you have the show spring for everything, in return for letting the camera roll whenever.  On top of that you get paid for being in front of the camera just going about your business, or lack there of.

Nice work if you can get it.  Speaking of reality TV, just in case your wondering, Keeping Up With The Kardashians got over 3 million viewers to watch Khloe’s fake wedding to Lamar Odom on E! last week. 

I have to wonder, are people actually interested/fascinated, or are they just taking notes on how to famewhore successfully?

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I give her an 8.5 out of 10.  Kudos, Kim.  Kudos.

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Oh please, who’s kidding who?  Did any of us know who she was prior to being knocked up?  I think the pecking order was Kim, the other one, and the one that looks like a Yeti.  Enter the non-wedding and pre-nup drama for the Yeti(Khloe) and Kourtney getting pregnant accidentally on purpose, and pecking order goes “poof”.

With the media spotlight now focusing on all three rather that just the one, you know they’re all drawing straws to see which one can get married next and which one’s “turn” it is to be knocked up. Little point in being preggers or getting married at the same time, it detracts from the overall magazine coverage and their 15 minutes.  This lot does nothing unless it’s for their reality show or lands them on a magazine cover.

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Oh sweet, sweet, picture. I will have you framed and put over my desk, so in my darkest hour of need when reporting on the antics of famewhores, I can look up and now know that there is hope, and it is good.

The number in the pink getting clocked is none other than Kim Kardashian, during yesterday’s Kardashian Charity Knockout at the Commerce Casino in LA.  The proceeds of which went to The Dream Foundation, which helps folks battling life limiting illnesses.

Kim, Khloe, their younger brother Rob, Step-father Bruce Jenner, and Kourtney’s (the pregnant one) boyfriend, Scott Disick were all scheduled to face off against opponents who had given the highest bids to fight them in the ring.

However, after Rob was pummeled by his opponent and sent to the hospital with a concussion (totally not staged for the families tv show, Keeping Up With the Kardashians), Khloe and Scott backed out.  Boo.  Although Khloe would probably have totally kicked the ass of whoever her opponent was by crushing and eating them (Yeti are fierce).  The family all rushed backstage for added on-screen drama out of concern for Rob and kept everyone waiting an additional hour before resuming.  Only Kim, then Bruce, squared off against their challengers.  Kim ended up being defeated with a black eye (which looks more like she simply applied too much eye shadow than a shiner), but I’ll take what I can get.

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This is the last post about Halloween costumes, I swear, but when famewhores make it this easy, what do you expect me to do?  Kim Kardashian, proving that there is no character she can’t slutify (is that a real word? If not it ought to be.) posted pics of herself in “costume” on her website along with a post .

This Halloween was so much fun!! I decided to go as Princess Jasmine, since I’ve been wanting to go as her for years and found the perfect costume! I went all out with my Disney theme this year and also got a Snow White outfit that I wore to Kendall’s birthday! I’m going to post those pics today too! You’ll have to let me know which outfit you like the best!

“Fun!” Is clearly Kims favortie adjective. So lets see, there’s Snow White, if she were to appear as a contestant on A shot of Love With..after having been passed around to the dwarves, Prince Charming and the Evil Queen.

Next as Princess Jasmine from Disney’s Aladdin, if she were to have gone into prostitution after being screwed six ways to Sunday by Aladdin, Jafar, Genie, and of course, the Magic Carpet. That costume was a wardrobe malfunction waiting to happen, I’m completely surprised that it didn’t.

These aren’t so much “costumes” as excuses to show off her bodacious ta-tas.  But since she probably spent good money on them, (the ta-tas, not the costumes) I can hardly blame her for wanting to show off.  I am kind of concerned she may have taken someone’s eye out at 14 year old Kendall’s birthday party though.

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There go my eyeballs, yet again.  No, that’s not Khloe Kardashian, famewhore, pre-nup expert and Lakers fan recycling her wedding dress already.  That’s Steven “Cojo” Cojoccaru, fashion-entertainment reporter (think Carson Kressley from Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, but not as masculine) dressed as Khloe on her fake wedding day at Heidi Klum’s annual Halloween Party Saturday night. 

Can we get a moratorium on famewhores being the costume du jour for Halloween next year?  Between multiple pairs of Jon & Kate’s roaming the streets like armies of the undead (looking at recent pictures of Jon Gosselin, that’s not much of a stretch) and fellow famewhores going in costume as other famewhores, or the tabloids that they appear in, the trend is done, lets all stick a collective fork in it and move on.

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