This is so immature I can’t help but get sucked right in.

Levi Johnston is now taking back his public apology to his almost mother in law (x2), and arch nemisis Sarah Palin he made shortly before US Magazine broke the story that he and Sarah’s daughter Bristol were back together and re-engaged (the two split up again about three weeks later).

Levi was interviewed on CBS‘ The Early Show today, saying, “I don’t really regret anything, but the only thing I wish I wouldn’t have done is put out that apology ’cause it kind of makes me sound like a liar. And I’ve never lied about anything. So that’s probably the only thing. The rest of the stuff I can live with.”

What about that lame Playgirlcenterfold with none of his bits showing after teasing us all for months over it?  Disappointment doesn’t even begin to cover it.

Levi just filled papers in Wasilla , Alaska to run for mayor.  You have to wonder if in the relevant experience section he listed “annoying Sarah Palin” as that must surely count for something.  One of the first stops on Levi’s campaign trail was at a gun store (of course) where he was filmed by his camera crew for his reality show holding a $2000 rifle. 

The Wasillan Hillbillies sure know how to up the dramz and create a scene, don’t they?

Tweet This Post

Is this an example of wag the dog?

After announcing a surprise re-engagement with baby mama Bristol Palinon the cover of US Magazine last month, only to be dumped for being a famewhore, Levi Johnston has inked a deal for a reality show that will chronicle his run to become mayor of Wasilla, Alaska in 2012.

Loving Levi: The road to the mayors office (that’s the best they could come up with?) will also follow Levi’s pursuit of a career in Hollywood and life as a single father looking for love.

Least anyone think “over Sarah Palin’s dead body”, she got her start as mayor of Wasilla too, and the town’s current title holder was voted in with just 466 votes.  Levi must file to run by July 30th (of next year) to run for 2012. 

When questioned about filing, deadlines, and all that annoying bureaucratic red tape, Levi’s manager/bodyguard Tank Jones said, “People questioned Jesus Christ, so I definitely don’t care about these mere mortals questioning Levi Johnston.”

Up next for Levi, starring in a video with singer Brittani Senser that’s shooting this week.  The two went to the Teen Choice Awards Sunday night.

Tweet This Post

Hypocrisy runs in the Palin family, no?

Over the weekend, it was announced that the re-engagement between Levi Johnston and Bristol Palin was off because of ex-girlfriend issues.  Apparently, Levi sprung the news of his possible paternity with an ex-girlfriend the day he and Bristol’s US Magazine cover hit the newstands (this kind of calls into question the ex-girlfriend’s assertion that she hasn’t seen him since high-school).

Bristol complained to People  about her ex-fiance (x2), saying there’s been “no remorse” on Levi’s part over the matter and that she’s only “seen him once in the past three weeks”. 

Bristol clarified the reason for the latest breakup, saying, “It’s over. I broke up with him. The final straw was him flying to Hollywood for what he told me was to see some hunting show but come to find out it was that music video mocking my family. He’s just obsessed with the limelight and I got played.  Through this whole experience I know I need a man who’s going to be completely honest with me and someone who loves me and Tripp and wants to be with him all the time. I also want someone who has religious beliefs and a good family.”

Anyone else think that Levi and Bristol couldn’t find anyone to pick up that reality show they were so determined to launch? 

As Sarah Palin is breathes a HUGE sigh or relief, and Kathy Griffin works on how to make this into another skit about her, a meeting is probably taking place in the bowels of ABC headquarters with execs debating the following topic, Bristol Palin: the next Bachelorette?

Tweet This Post

Do you think Kathy Griffin knows about this yet?

According to E! Online, the engagement is off, but not because of the drama involving The Wasilla Village Bicycle (Lanesia Garcia), pregnant by one of her ex-boyfriends, a list which included Levi Johnston, according to The National Enquirer. 

In a page right out of Mama Mia! WVB is not sure who the father is, although she’s now telling Us that Levi isn’t the father as she hasn’t had any contact with him since high-school and that she doesn’t know how this rumour got started.

Back to Levi and Bristol’s non-engagement.  Word is that Bristol took exception to Levi’s Facebook status with another ex-girlfriend, Briana Plum.  Apparently, Levi’s involvement with his ex isn’t quite as past-tense as Bristol would like and she hit the brakes. 

Neither Levi or Bristol are confirming anything, which probably means there’s a lot of groveling and bickering going on.  After all, there’s a reality show dependent on this marriage happening.

Tweet This Post

However, it’s not with fiance Bristol Palin. 

Awkward.

According to  The National Enquirer (yeah, I know), Lanesia Garcia, who’s now several months pregnant, got back together with ex-boyfriend Levi on several occasions in late 2009 and early 2010.  Apparently, Lanesia, bless her heart, is the village bicycle of Wasilla (everybody’s had a ride), and she’s unsure if Levi’s the father or it’s one of her other exes. 

Paging Maury Povich! 

Word is Bristol is livid over this news, and it may delay (if not completely torpedo), her wedding plans to Levi.  You just know Sarah must be feeling all sorts of mixed emotions over this latest scandal that Levi’s embroiled her family in.

As for the village bicycle Lanesia, she plans to have a paternity test once the baby is born, so Levi may end up as Sarah’s son-in-law yet.

Tweet This Post

What better reason to reconcile than for the sake of your child creating the basis for a reality TV show?

Levi Johnston and Bristol Palin, who floored everyone when they announced in last week’s US Magazine that they were engaged, have been shopping around several pitches for a reality TV show starring themselves and their 2 year old kid, Tripp, as they work, play, and go about their daily routines. 

Sounds fascinating.  

However, no one is buying what they’re selling (yet).  Apparently, network execs think the pair are “boring” and “neither of them have personalities”.   Having previously seen Levi on Live with Larry King when Kathy Griffin subbed for the geriatric sex symbol, I can honestly say that’s a pretty accurate statement.

Silly famewhores!  What they need to do is create some drams for the show.  Involve Levi’s Palin hating sister Mercedes, Bristol’s ma, Sarah, and promise occasional appearances by Kathy Griffin.  That would guarantee a ratings bonanza.

Tweet This Post

Oh, Sarah Palin’s going to have a teutonic coniption over this one.

 Us Weekly is saying that not only are Levi Johnston and Bristol Palin back together, they’re  engaged. 

Apparently, the two became enaged two weeks ago after getting back together earlier this spring.  According to the interview, Levi and Bristol had been working on a custody/visitation plan for their son at the time when they realized they still had feelings for one another and had both changed (assumingly for the better).  

Neither of the kid’s parents knew of the engagement at the time the pair were interviewed for the magazine.  Here’s hoping they managed to break the news to them before now, otherwise….awkward.

Update – Sarah Palin has released a statement regarding Bristol and Levi’s engagement which reads, “Bristol at 19 is now a young adult. We obviously want what’s best for our children. Bristol believes in redemption and forgiveness to a degree most of us struggle to put in practice in our daily lives.”

Although she’s standing behind her daughter (at least publicly) it’s not exactly a ringing endorsement is it? 

As for that “redemption and forgiveness” part, is Sarah tired of civilian life and going to give politics another try?  The next Presidential election is in two years.

Tweet This Post

Uh-oh.  If true, Sarah Palin will not be pleased.

According to  Us Weekly, the wanna be Playgirlmodel (epic fail) and teenage mother made abstinence advocate (really epic fail) are seeing each other again.  Word is the relationship between the two has thawed, although that doesn’t necessarily mean it’s heated up again. 

For a while,  it was all out war between Johnston and the Palins.  Levi claimed Bristol (and Sarah) weren’t letting him have access to his kid, Tripp, while the Palins pretty much did everything they could to vilify Levi through the media.  It all came to a head when Bristol ended up taking her baby daddy to court for child support (Levi ponied up) this past winter.

Are they together or just co-parenting (which is what they should have done to begin with)?  Tank Jones, Johnstons manager/body gaurd says they have no plans to get back together and are just making an effort for the sake of their kid. With Bristol living in Anchorage, Sarah probably isn’t interfering as much as she was prior.   

Who knows?   I’m more interested in what this rumour means for Levi’s pretend girlfriend, Kathy Griffin.

Speaking of which….

Tweet This Post

Condoms would have been waaaaaaaay cheaper.

A judge has ruled that Levi Jonston must pay Bristle (name spelled in error on purpose and it stays) Palin $18 500 in retroactive child support payment for their son Tripp.   Johnston must also begin coughing up $1688.42 per month as well. 

In a statement that doesn’t at all sound like it was written by one of mother Sarah’s flacks, Bristle said, “I have received limited and sporadic financial assistance from Levi“.

According to documents her lawyers forced Levi to submit, he made over $100 000 grand last year famewhoring, but only paid $4 400 in child support.  Dumb move (then again this is Levi Johnston we’re talking about).

Bristle’s lawyer says that she’s happy with the outcome is looking forward to solving her remaing issues with Levi, as long as they come out in her favor. 

Maybe Levi should reconsider that offer to do porn from Corbin Fisher if that Desperate Housewives gig falls through.  He’s going to need the money.

Tweet This Post