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So now it’s come to this.

With little else to turn to as acting, paid escorting, fame-whoring for money, and designingcreative consulting all seem to have fallen by the wayside due to her behavior, Lindsay Lohan is turning to that tried and true way to make a buck, the frivolous lawsuit.

According to the New York Post (via Gawker) Lindsay feels that the above Superbowl ad in which a baby named Lindsay that’s a “milkaholic” is mentioned is really all about her and is seeking damages to the tune of $100 million dollars. 

In the suit filed yesterday, Lindsay’s lawyer is seeking an injunction to ban the ad from being shown and wants all copies of the ad as well.  “They used the name Lindsay. They’re using her name as a parody of her life. Why didn’t they use the name Susan? This is a subliminal message. Everybody’s talking about it and saying it’s Lindsay Lohan.”

Riiiiiiiiiight.

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Apparently Lindsay (shown here attending John Galliano’s show) isn’t working for fashion house Ungaro anymore.

When finally asked about her absence from their Fashion Show in Paris earlier today by WWD, a spokesminion told them “She’s not involved in this collection“.

Does this mean she’s fired?  Her last collection was reviled, but actually ended up selling for some unfathomable reason.

As for her attending Paris Fashion Week if she’s not working, a scam and an excuse.  How much do you want to bet Lindsay’s been running around town trying to charge things to Ungaro’s account as their Creative Consultant again? 

Linds probably also needed to find a reason to be out of LA and NYC for all those Oscar parties she wouldn’t be invited to.

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You would think after losing that paid escort gig (worth $150 grand) to the Vienna Ball last month because she was too late showing up at the airport to catch her flight she would be more prompt when showing up for various obligations.

You’d be wrong.

Lindsay Lohan was turned away at the Dior Fashion Show in Paris for being strung out excessively late. 

How mortifying!

No doubt her begging, pleading, and probable temper tantrum didn’t pan out for her like it normally does.  Hence the picture of her stomping off looking ready to cut a bitch. 

Heh.  Love it. 

Next week her second collection of skank wear for Ungaro will be shown.  Looking forward to the reviews.  Maybe Lindsay will surprise everyone and….nah.  Expect lots of drama.  It’s the only thing Lindsay consistently brings to the table these days.

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Lindsay Lohan got her traditions confused (The Running of the Bulls, the Throwing of Tomatoes) or perhaps she was trying to start a new one by tossing a Red Bull at a pap while in arriving in Milan, Italy for  fashion week.

Guess this means La Lohan is back to “work” as creative consultant at Ungaro for their new collection.

Expect lots of Lindsay Lohan posts regarding her general f*ckery and self destructive behavior while she’s in Milan.  How long do you think it’ll take before there’s some sort of “incident” between Linds and a reporter or pap?

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Looks like Lindsay has found herself a new cottage industry to make a buck off.

Earlier this month, she appeared on The Insider claiming to be a hoarder.  Realizing that she can now paint herself as the victim to any and all forms of tabloid journalism for a cheque, Lindsay went to  The Sun to talk about her experiences with substance abuse.

Just like the blame for her non-hoarding was laid squarely at the feet of her father Michael, so too is her relationship with various “mind altering substances” including coke, booze and Ambien.

The interview is worth reading only because Lindsay sounds like she’s managed to cram 25 years of hard partying into the past six years or so.  Lindsay mentions her three stints in rehab and her DUI.  In one of the boldest face lies I’ve ever heard (or an example of total delusion), Lindsay claims she has no interest in partying or drinking anymore, but also added that there are certain situations where she has “obligations“.

Lindsay’s obligations seem to average at least four nights a week.

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Are any of us really surprised by this development?  

Lindsay Lohan is no longer attending the Vienna Opera Ball as 77 year old gazillionaire and socialite Richard Lugner’s “date”, an honor that would have given the 23 year old trainwreck a much needed $150 000 into her coffers.

Apparently (and I’m not buying this story at all), Lindsay was on one of her famous shopping sprees and missed her flight to London.  She could have held the flight for $22 000, but lacked the funds to pay for it, according to Lugner, clearly indicating that he wasn’t about to cough up more money for her either.  

Deciding that he had more than enough of Lohan and her antics (she had wanted the Vienna Opera Ball moved to accommodate her, her handlers insisted alcohol could not be made accessible, etc, etc), Lugner pulled the same move Lovemyshoes.com did yesterday with Lindsay’s mother Dina and quit that bitch.

Richard Lunger is now either taking boobtastic UK tabloid queen Katie Price instead.

You know it’s truly over when you can’t even cut it as a paid escort.

UPDATE – Looks like Lugner has had it with the ladies.  Reports coming in he’s actually taking some German guy named Dieter Bohlen to the ball tonight instead of Katie.

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This past October, admid much fanfare and hyperbole, Dina Lohan launched Shoe-Han, a line of cheap ass footwear that she was also going to be the natioanl spokesperson for and which was going to be ready for launch by Mother’s Day, available via Lovemyshoes.com.

According to Fox 411, Dina’s dreams have now been dashed, crushed on the jagged rocks of reality by the lingering effects of the global economic crisis.

In a far more diplomatic statement than this ill conceived partnership actually warranted, a spokesminion for the company said, “Love My Shoes regrets to announce we are not moving forward with the Dina Lohan line of shoes at this time due to continued economic sluggishness and the prevalent mood of today’s shoppers.  Love My Shoes and its President, Robert Yeganeh, wish Dina continued success in all her projects.” 

Translation:  The Shoe-han line is complete crap, probably won’t sell, and it’s time to cut our losses before it’s too late.

In a unintentionally hilarious response, a rep for Shoe-Han (Ali?) said, “There was a miscommunication over finances, this was too local and we need a larger partner. We are currently exploring other options, and we will have another announcement soon.”

Yeah, right.  ”A miscommunication over finances” probably means that Dina wanted a much larger portion of the profits (like there’d actually be any) than Lovemyshoes intended to part with and also wanted them in advance.  After all, Lindsay certainly isn’t bringing home the bacon like she used to and Dina has an image as “mother to the stars” to keep up.

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Fresh off announcing last week that she’s a hoarder (except she isn’t really) on The Insider, and the rumour Friday that she threw a drink in ex-girlfriend Sam Ronson’s face in some club, comes word that Lindsay Lohan’s relationship with th DJ was violent.

Apparently, some source (Lindsay, Dina, or Michael, take your pick) told Radar that Lindsay said Sam beat and choked her one time.

While I’m sure the two of them probably had screaming matches complete with things being thrown at each other and out of windows, regardless of whether they were opened or not, I doubt it actually escalated to this point.

Cracked out as Lindsay is and as anti-social as Sam appears, neither one is stupid enough to physically assault the other.  Why?  First, they needed each other.  Sam was the only reason Lindsay was getting any mention in the press for a time, while Sam needed Lindsay to help make her an in-demand DJ.  Second, an assault would have meant game over, something neither could afford at the time.

These stories that come from nameless sources that quote things people allegedly told them once are as tiresome as they are ultimately unprovable.

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Proving that she’s a one trick pony, Tila Tequila has again taken to Twitter claiming she’s pregnant(for reals this time), offering proof in the form of a photo of the ultrasound to the highest bidder.

So far, so takers (she’s pulled this twice before) so now she’s upping the goods promising that the baby daddy is a “very famous rapper! very very famous!” who is supposedly multi platinum, award winning, sexy, and tends to get into trouble.  Well, that narrows the field down doesn’t it? 

Wasn’t she just alluding that the non-existent fetus’ sperm donor was Girls Gone Wild douchebag Joe Francis (ugh, can you imagine if that’s true, even Tim Tebow would his stance) and promising that she was going to quit famewhoring to concentrate on being a mother?

Cue the countdown to her tragic miscarriage coincidentally happening just when she should be starting to show.

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Also proving to be a one trick pony as well, Michael Lohan (who starting to resemble a turtle) has yet again been arrested for ignoring a court order to keep away from his ex-girlfriend and contacting her by phone.  He pulled this sort of thing with ex-wife Dina as well. 

At least we know Lindsay comes by it honestly and never really had a chance for normalcy getting her genes from the likes of this. 

No word on how Lohan’s latest arrest over contacting his ex is sitting with his new girlfriend and Jon Gosselin cast-off, Kate Major.

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Kim Kardashian, realizing that it had been at least 20 hours since her name appeared somewhere in the media, panicked and leaked “untouched” photos of herself from some shoot modeling bikinis, calling them “hot” and “edgy”. 

Kim also pretended to be worried about how she looked, fishing for compliments by complaining that she ate too much prior to the shoot.  Oh Kim, a couple of Quicktrim pills and a 12 hour stint sitting on the toilet crapping it all away will do wonders.  Doesn’t it always?

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