… To help avoid this kind of thing.  Read on.

Apparently, Lindsay clipped a woman pushing a baby stroller late yesterday afternoon when making a right turn from a parking garage in West Hollywood.

Radar has all the juicy details, including a video which supposedly shows Lindsay’s car speeding away (hit and run). 

What makes the validity of this story dubious at best is that no police report has been filed and the man who shot the video went to Radar instead.

TMZ is calling bullsh*t on the whole thing, having identified the video taker as Brayan Jaime, a freelance paparazzi.  Hmmmm.  When TMZ asked him why he didn’t go to police as well (a reasonable question) he said that “he didn’t want to get involved”.

Riiiiiiight.  Isn’t it illegal not to report a crime to the police if you witness one?  (Then again, filing a false report with the police is a crime as well.)   

Funny that Jaime doesn’t seem to have a problem involving himself, so long as he’s getting money and credit for his efforts.

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Denial is not just a river in Egypt, it’s a Lohan family trait.

On the cover for the upcoming October issue of Vanity Fair, Lindsay gave an interview during the time between her sentencing and actually starting her jail time.

Needless to say, the interview is a real scream.  Lindsay says she was never an addict, but admits she “dabbled” with certain conveniently unnamed “things” while being rich, young, and irresponsible (earlier this year, given her behaviour).  ““It was very go-go-go and I had a lot of responsibility; and I think just the second I didn’t have [structure] anymore—I was 18, 19—with a ton of money and no one really here to tell me that I couldn’t do certain things … And I see where that’s gotten me now, and I don’t like it.”

Besides still blaming her revolting father Michael for just about everything, Lindsay also blames the tabloids and a certain poorly weaved singer as well, saying using them for her main source of news and as a role model was “Really scary and sad… I would look up to those girls… the Britneys and whatever. And I would be like, I want to be like that.”

The magazine also interviewed publicists and paparazzi for the piece.  The publicits called her “Hollywood Krptonite”, while the paps claim she poses for photos at $10 grand a piece.  Although Lindsay says the paps are all a bunch of liars, they remain adamant.  Makes sense, the money has to be coming in somehow, Lindsay celebrated her release last week by buying herself a new car, not exactly the action of someone who’s aledgedly broke.  

Lindsay also says her party girl past is now behind her and that she’s seeking to “get back the respect I had when I was making great movies.  And if that takes not going out to a club at night, then so be it. It’s not fun anyway.”

Yeah, Just My Luck, Herbie Fully Loaded, and Freaky Friday were “great movies”.  As for the not going out to clubs since it’s “not fun”, any of you care to guess who got pulled over for running a stop sign this past weekend on her way to the Chateau Marmont?

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Wiley old Judge Fox may have granted Lindsay her freedom, but he wasn’t about to let her run amok in the public without some sort of guarantee that she wasn’t about to revert to her old self.  Old habits die hard and all.

First off, Lindsay and Dina can forget about her moving back to New York, at least for the time being.  Lindsay is to stay put in LA at her primary residence (so much her standing reservation at the Chateau Marmont). Lindsay is also to undergo psychotherapy at least four times per week, attend a 12 step program five times a week (either AA or NA), contact her chemical dependency counselor at least seven times per week, attend behavioral therapy twice a week, and submit to random drug and alcohol testing two times a week. 

Shawn Chapman Holley is to submit bi-weekly complience reports to the court and Judge Fox has made it clear that if Lindsay dicks around with the tests or requirements, “it will result in 30 days in jail”.

So if Linds spent 13 days on a 90 day sentence, that means about 4.5 on a 30 day one (you just know this was going through her mind as the Judge was laying down the law). Lindsay’s next court mandated progress report is on Monday November 1st, unless she manages to screw up (80% likley-hood)and start the whole process over again.

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Great, now we’re going to have to deal with a gloating Lindsay and Dina, as well as more of Michael’s patented f*ckery.

Radar is reporting this evening that after spending a total of 22 days of her court ordered 90 days in rehab at the UCLA Medical Center, Lindsay Lohan signed her discharge papers late this afternoon and has been whisked away in a chauffeur driven limo. 

The doctors at the facility feel that Lindsay was mis-diagnosed and the Judge now overseeing her case agreed.  Although a hearing has been scheduled for tomorrow, it’s pretty much a given that Lindsay will be treated on an out-patient basis.

Word is Lindsay is also looking for an apology or compensation from the courts for her treatment, since doctors now say she’s been misdiagnosed as an addict and suffering from ADD.  Good luck with that one.  Never mind the fact that she was sent to the slammer for thumbing her nose at her probation requirements for driving drunk back in 2007. 

Lindsay may have been “mis-diagnosed”, but since she went extensive doctor shopping to get her diagnosis and subsequent prescriptions in the first place, do you really think she’s going to have changed after 13 days in jail and just over three weeks in rehab?

Cue countdown for first photos of a messy Lindsay leaving some LA or NYC hotspot by year’s end.

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That’s it. I quit! (Ok, not really).

According to TMZ, the doctors at the UCLA Medical Center where Lindsay is staying for treatment have confirmed that not only is Lindsay NOT a drug addict, she also doesn’t have ADHD.

Apparently, doctors feel Lindsay was misdiagnosed and shouldn’t never have been taking Adderall.  They’ve successfully weaned Linds off her prescription drug cocktail which included Ambien, Dilaudid,  Zoloft,  Trazadone as well as the aforemention Adderall, and say that while she does have her issues, she’s not bi-polar or a threat to herself. 

Word is they’re going to recomend that Lindsay be released sometime early next month and continue to be treated on an out-patient basis.

Colour me shocked.

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Marsha Revel, the no nonsense Judge that sentenced Lindsay to 90 days behind bars for probation violation (she gets an A for effort) and another 90 days in rehab immediately after, has removed herself from the case.

Apparently, a prosecutor alleges that the Judge had inappropriate contact with a rep from rehab center Morningside before being convinced to switching Lindsay’s treatment program to the UCLA Medical Center.

Before any legal motions could be filed, Revel removed herself from all future proceedings, handing the whole sordid mess over to Judge Elden Fox.  You just know Dina Lohan is trying to figure out if this is worth celebrating or not.

One Judge’s loss is another one’s gain (I’ll let you decide which is which).

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After serving a whopping thirteen days of a ninety day sentence due to over-crowding (how did she ever survive?), Lindsay Lohan was released from the Lynwood Correctional Facility this morning at 1:30AM PST.  

Apparently Linds was ushered out the back and sent via SUV to the UCLA Medical Center, where she will be treated for both psychological and addiction issues under the watchful eye of the LA County Probation Department for the next three months.

Originally, Lindsay was supposed to go to a different rehab treatment facility, but Judge Marsha Revel felt that the UCLA Medical Center’s facilities will have tighter controls in place.

No word yet on Lindsay’s first post prison interview (who it will be with or what she’s going to get for it) but smart money says it’ll likely either be with Diane Sawyer on 20/20, or Larry King on Live.

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The famewhoring father of Lindsay Lohan, who’s been appearing on all the tabloid shows he can recently, engagement to the equally odious Kate Major apparently came to a crashing halt when he allegedly went all Mel Gibson on her and pushed her out of a chair then kicked her in the face.

Police are investigating the allegations as Kate had previously got a restraining order against him (it’s worth noting that he’s been accused of domestic violence before).  Michael is now trying to sell nude pics he took of Kate while she was sleeping this past spring.  Charming.

Of his actions, Kate says “He took these pictures of me without my knowledge. At the time he was my fiancé. I have just found out about these images today and moving forward my lawyer, William O’Conner, will be handing the legalities of anyone that reproduces them.”

Lohan for his part says (without any apparent irony) “She has no money, no job and she’s been living off of me for the last eight months. If she doesn’t stop the nonsense, more and more will come out. I am tired of being used by people who need to make up stories to make money off others.”

Why would anyone want to see the z-list ex assistant of Lindsay Lohan, who became a Star Magazine reporter, only to quit her job to date Jon Gosselin, whom she then dumped for Michael Lohan naked?  

Try as I might, I have little sympathy for Kate.  You know what they say about lying down with dogs…

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Drat.  I was sort of hoping she’d make a run for it.

Being represented once again by the hapless Shawn Chapman Holley (who’s probably kicking herself for ever taking this client in the first place), a sombre Lindsay Lohan surrenderd herself, appearing in court this morning for a grand total of five minutes before being handcuffed and escourted off to prison.

Judge Marsha Revel had ruled that no cameras were to be allowed in the courtroom while Lindsay was being cuffed, so that means the first pics of Lindsay in chains are going to be worth a fortune, provided someone gots a shot when she arrived at the Century Regional Detention Facility in Lynwood, CA.

Will Linds serve the full 90 days or be out much faster?  Stay tuned…

Update – Lindsay arrived and has been processed.  No shots of her in hand-cuffs (yet) but this picture of America’s favorite jailbird in a snazzy prison issue orange jumpsuit has been released.  Wonder what’s with the smirk?

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TMZ is saying this was why he met with Judge Marsha Revel late yesterday afternoon.

Poor Lindsay.  No one wants to represent her.  Either this means she’s going to go ahead and try to go on the lam appeal her sentence today, or her cheque bounced. 

Lindsay is scheduled to show up to court later this morning to begin her 90 day stint in prison for parole violation. 

Major drams and a media circus is a forgone conclusion.

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