Only 22 minutes late too!  All it took was the threat that she’d lose the case by default if she failed to show again.

Being sued by three cash grabbers who are claiming she “held them captive” when she took them on a drunken car chase in 2007, Linds missed her two previous depositions.  The first for not having enough time as she was so busy (she went shopping instead), the second for not being able to find a ride to take her to court (she’s unable to dive as part of her probation).

Mother Dina accompanied Lindsay to court Monday after supposedly spending the night partying with her at the Chateau Marmot (it shows).  Dina denies this, saying they just went to dinner.  The two had returned from NYC where they spent the weekend filming a segment for Entertainment Tonight and a special for E!, something about cleaning out Dina’s closet. 

Yes, it’s actually come to this.

As for Lindsay’s  depsotion itself, TMZ is reporting that the plaintiff’s lawyers “gave her a hard time” and kept her in there for 7 hours.  Yikes.

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Apparently not finished debasing herself, Lindsay Lohan Tweeted her thoughts regarding her appearance in a series of “artistic” photos by Tyler Sheilds, for a project called The Dirty Side of Glamor.

A cry for help, a plea for attention, or a need for a cheque?  Whatever. Looks more like stills from a soft core snuff film directed by Eli Roth.

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QED (which remains to be demonstrated). 

Word is Lindsay has  already been lurking about her old stomping grounds at the Chateau Marmont since she posted this Tweet early Saturday.

Never trust anyone who refers to themselves in the third person.

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The girl promised us more Lohan mayham (or was it drama?) at the begining of the new year, and this week she brought it in spades.

This past week Lindsay has…

1. Ran afoul of something or someone at Coachella, leaving in a huff.

2. Bailed on her scheduled deposition for the second time, as she couldn’t get a ride to court.

3. Went out that same night partying, then claimed that ex Sam Ronson spat in her face when she ran into her.  Linds has since recanted, saying she was “joking”.  Hysterical.

4. Thursday afternoon got a surprise visit from the sheriff, along with her useless father, who was claiming he was concerned about Lindsay’s younger sister Ali’s welfare.  Apparently, the “home schooled” sixteen year old has been staying with her.

5. Is now under investigation by the LAPDover a friend’s missing $35k Rolex watch.  Buying a $35k watch in the first place?  Weak.  Leaving your $35k watch at a friends house?  Dumb.  Leaving your $35k watch at Lindsay (sticky-fingers) Lohan’s place?  Plain stupid.

6. Now comes word that Lindsay has just been fired from a movie (she’s still getting work as an actress?) by the director.  Apparently, her involvement was making the investors and director antsy, so they “simply choose to move on” from her and will be announcing a replacement soon.

And since the weekend is still relatively young, the chances of this post getting updated by Sunday night are higher than Lindsay usually is (allegedly).

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Father of the year nominee (sarcasm) and professional famewhore Michael Lohan, deciding that he’d been out of the media long enough as for him two weeks plus is an eternity, brought the sheriff and made an unannounced visit to daughter Lindsay at her place Thursday afternoon.

This time, it’s all about daughter Ali, the world’s oldest looking teenager (16 going on 35).  Apparently, Michael is concerend about her welfare as she’s been staying with her sister. 

The fact that every time Michael engages Lindsay, he makes it into the media and possibly gets interviewed by various tabloid outlets (that will pay him) has nothing to do with this whatsoever.

The sheriff spoke to Ali but let her stay there as there was “no evidence of abuse”.  Michael says he’s going to stick around in LA until Ali is removed and Linds goes back to rehab.  He’s supposedly seeking a Britney Spears style conservatorship, so he runs all of Lindsay’s affairs.  Good luck with that.

Naturally, Lindsay had one of her patented Tweet-rants right after, blaming her building’s security for letting her father and the police in, then lambasting him, then wondering where her lawyer was, and thanking God for Dina….

Speaking of which, she issued this ominious message about Thursday’s melodrama, ”I was told by my attorneys not to speak because it is very serious and my ex could be in big trouble. He’s dangerous…. If he can’t get to them he is going to try to hurt them — it’s not good.”

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Former actress Lindsay Lohan, fresh from creating/imagining drama over the weekend at Coachella (word is she left in a snit over something) has missed her second scheduled deposition in court.

TMZ is reporting that Lindsay was supposed to be in court at 10 yesterday morning, but couldn’t make it because she couldn’t get a lift until 11.  Apparently, Lindsay doesn’t believe in taxis or public transportation (she’s barred from driving as part of her probation).

Last week, Lindsay backed out as she was too busy (she went shopping instead).  Lawyers for the three suing Lindsay for taking them on a drunken joy ride in 2007 are asking the court today for an order to get Lindsay into court (likely the only way she’ll show), otherwise it will be an automatic forfeit and the judgement will go to the plaintiffs.

Why bother?  Lindsay’s supposedly $600 thousand in debt and whether the case is settled or she loses, chances are she’ll file for bankruptcy.

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Problem is, what else can she do with her time except party?  Now it looks like Lindsay’s spending habits have caught up to her, to the tune of $600 thousand dollars.

Apparently, this is the approximate amount the former actress and current trainwreck owes on her credit cards.  According to Radar Online, one credit card company has already cut her off and another plans to sue unless she can make payments.  

Problem is except for her legging line, she really doesn’t have a source of income or any place to turn for help.  The bank of Mom (Dina) and Dad (Michael) is probably equally insolvent, and both paid acting gigs and club appearances are now all but a distant memory. 

Here’s our little shop-o-holic looking like a truck stop hooker circa 1987 at this weekend’s Coachella festival.

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Even when they have no money to do so.

Everyone’s favorite former actress and current trainwreck, Lindsay Lohan was supposed to give her deposition the other day in court for a lawsuit stemming from a 2007 “incident” where she went on an booze fueled car chase with three people stuck in the back seat, wondering at the time if this was going to be “it”.

Apparently, Linds showed up some 90 minutes late, didn’t even bother getting out of her car, and let the plaintiff’s lawyers know she could only spare them a couple of hours of her time since she’s so busy (they had wanted her to make herself available all day). 

Lindsay was told to forget it since she couldn’t be bothered, the plaintiff’s lawyers obviously hoping for a either an immediate judgement against the defendant or a rescheduling (good luck with that given who their dealing with).

Lindsay was next seen in Beverly Hills a short time later, shopping up a storm.  That should go down well if and when they finally get her into court.

Can’t wait to see what happens when she has to face that judge who’s in charge of her probation case to give a progress report.

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The Famewhoring ages, that is.

Word out today that Michael Lohan and Kate Major (Jon Gosselin’s cast off) are getting hitched.  Oh please, please, please, don’t reproduce.

 The pair of famewhores spoke to People about it.  Says Kate, “I’m very traditional, so I wanted him to talk to my father. Michael went down with me to Florida for Easter, to meet my father to ask for his permission, and my father gave his blessing. I’m ecstatic. I’m very happy. Michael and I have known each other for four years, and it’s meant to be.” 

Traditional?  Who’s kidding who?  What kind of parent would be ok with their adult child marrying a convicted criminal who routinely gets arrested for breaking court orders?

As for Michael Lohan, “I’m ecstatic. I’ve never met anyone who’s been there for me like Kate. She’s always been there for me. The one thing about Kate is that she doesn’t come with baggage.”

That’s good, because he brings enough baggage and potential drama in the making for several couples let alone one.

Can’t wait for Michael to want Lindsay to meet her new step-monster, who’s supposedly only three years older than she is.  Speaking of Lindsay, what do you suppose her reaction to this news was?

‘I’m gonna vomit! I so didn’t need that info… Yuck.” 

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What is she, high?

Oh, wait….

To celebrate the start of the long weekend after a busy week of…well, not sure exactly….maybe paying off the $23 000 in back rent she apparently owed,  Lindsay Lohan was photographed out last night at some club in LA where, big surprise, she fell over (a tippsy octogenarian with motor control issues has more coordination) only this time no cacti were harmed.

Of course, this being Lindsay, it was the paps fault.  It’s always the paps fault.  They’ve become Lindsay’s boogeyman of choice as an excuse for anything that happens to her.  Naturally, angry, paranoid, cracked out, Tweets followed shortly after her latest nose dive.

@ElectraAvellan see how embaressing it is when paps push you into a fall w/FENDIS ON! Again to me? And NOW YOU?sober sally’s take a timber
about 6 hours ago via UberTwitter

 Security @Voyeur nightclub in LA just set me up&paid off paparazzi to not let me in the back door and come to take photos of me in the back
about 6 hours ago via UberTwitter

Just one thing-i came to PICK UP MY FRIEND @electraavellan from the back and NOT even go into the club! Yet- I get sold out by guys that
about 6 hours ago via UberTwitter

By guys that I treat with respect and kindness…… They got paid off to let paparazzi make me look like I was distraught and a mess, when
about 6 hours ago via UberTwitter

I was just waiting for my friend at the back door…… Worse part is, my friends who run the club were a part of the set-up as well. Why?
about 6 hours ago via UberTwitter

She asks why?  Why not?   Instead of staying home, laying off the substances, and keeping a low profile, she clearly brings it on herself as a hard core party girl, drama queen, and attention seeker.

It’s amazing no one’s called a 5150 (the code used to haul a person in for a three day mandatory psychiatric evaluation when they appear to be a danger to themselves or others) on her ass yet. 

Then again, the weekend is still young.

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