Pulling her patented “I’m so happy to be here, except not” look, annoying child and hard core triple threat Taylor Momsen strikes a pose with Madonna and her daughter Lordes last night during the official launch party of the Material Girl clothing line at Macy’s last night in NYC.

Lordes’ father, Carlos Leon, was there too.  Word is he’s not thrilled with his daughter’s attempts to be in the limelight and has put his foot down when it comes to dating.  I bet the arguments are spectacular.

I’d be more worried about the influence Angry Raccoon has on her than anything else.  From what I see in this picture above, Lordes is already starting to emulate her.

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The Big M seems to be unfazed by the unwanted attentions of Robert Linhart, a retired firefighter who showed up at her apartment building in NYC first on Saturday then again on Tuesday with an ice pick and signs that read “Meet me please”.

When arrested, the retired fireman told cops that he “won’t stop until he meets Madonna” and vowed that once released into the wild from either jail or the loony bin, he was ”going to go right back [to her residence] and do it again.”

Linhart was charged with criminal mischief, graffiti, and carrying a concealed weapon.  His hearing was yesterday afternoon and bail set at $20 thousand dollars.  The defense lawyer assigned to his case said “it’s not a crime to adore Madonna” (true) and that there were “no facts to support that ice pick was going to be used unlawfully.”  Weak.  

When asked if she was afraid by a local paper, Madonna answered “No” (this isn’t the first kook she’s dealt with in her 30 year career and she’s probably packing).

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Looks like Madonna and her daughter Lordes have a fight on their hands over the line of clothes for teenagers they’ve created for Macy’s that just recently launched.

Apparently, a California based clothing company called LA Triumph is claiming they’ve used the name Material Girl since 1997, for a line they say is similar in style, price, and availability. 

Lawyers for LA Triumph went to court on Thursday and filed a suit, demanding that The Big M and Macy’s change the name and hand over all profits to them (of course) saying that this creates “deception” in the market.

Considering that Madonna coined the phrase “Material Girl” 26 years ago, wouldn’t she own rights to it?  Will the judge presiding over the case notice when word of  Madonna and Lourde’s line and it’s moniker made the news months ago, LA Triumph remained strangely silent over the matter?  What exactly where they waiting for?  Questions, questions….

Besides being exposed to business meetings and the inner workings of the fashion industry, guess Lourdes is also getting her first exposure to corporate dust-ups.  Welcome to the big league, kid.

Whichever way this suit goes (instinct says it’ll be dismissed) Madonna won’t be hurting for money.  Rumour is the big M is being offered $1 BILLION for a five year Las Vegas residency at Ceasar’s Palace.

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Apparently, the two were all chatty and chummy at some event in London last night, putting the rumour that the two were on the outs into question.

Either they’ve kissed and made up (possible) or they were making nice while the cameras were around (also possible).

For what it’s worth, I don’t think people like the Big M or Pretentious Paltrow have “friends” like the rest of us have based on common interests, mutual admiration, and understanding so much as strategic partnerships with people in similar positions (very famous and extremley wealthy).

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The big M and some random model were photographed yesterday in Harlem while filming a new ad for D&G. 

Not sure what the concept or intent of the ad is, other than buying Dolce & Gabbana, but putting a 51 year old woman (who’s looking great) beside a kid that barely looks old enough to vote may not end up being the look the fashion line was going for. 

Although once the CGI and Photo-shop people are done making Madonna look like a 30 year old again, the finished ad will probably be gorgeous.

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Ooooooh…this could get good.

Gwyneth Paltrow is currently gracing everyone with her presence on the latest cover of Vogue UK and several excerpts have been released from the accompanying article within.

Apparently, she can “ice people out” and be a bitch.  SHOCKING.  Alas, the magazine article didn’t broach the subject of Gwyneth’s pathological pretention and need to name drop. (Boo).

Says Gywenth, “Oh yes, I can be mean. I can cave in to gossip. I can ice people out and I can definitely harbour revenge. In fact, I’m having a situation right now with a friend where I’m feeling pretty angry. But revenge is corrosive and it doesn’t make me feel good.  I’ll wake up in the morning and think, ‘Ugh, I feel terrible’, and suddenly realize, ‘Ah, that’s why. I’m holding on to so much hate.”

Who might she be talking about? 

Late last summer, Gywneth’s trainer and business partner Tracy Anderson was cut loose by Madonna.  Speculation arose as to the circumstances surrounding the firing (Tracy’s sort of a shady character) and whether this would affect Gywn’s friendship with the singer.

Wonder no more.

Gwyneth’s response when asked about it?  “Yeah, it’s good that she doesn’t train Madonna any more. It was too much. She keeps people waiting – it takes up your whole day.”

Ouch.

Now, Gwyneth is a snotty, snotty, bitch and a right proper snob, so she’d never come right out and say what the above statement implies:  that Madonna is inconsiderate and possibly self absorbed.  

Stop the presses!

No word from the Big M’s camp (yet), but there will be.  Maybe not tomorrow, or the day after, or even next week, but a response of some sort is in the making.

It.  Is.  On.

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…Comes around.  Even for the Big M.

Madonna, fully aware of the irony in this statement, went on the record with  Us Weekly that she wishes daughter Lourdes (Lola) would dress more conservatively.

A whole generation (or two) of women with daughters who grew up trying to emulate Madonna are probably feeling really smug and vindicated right about now.  Just sayin…’

The Big M is teaming with Lola to design a line of clothing called Material Girl for Macy’s (She’s never going to shake that moniker is she?) which should be available later this year.

Madonna says she enjoyed designing a line for H&M a couple of years back, but felt the project took up too much of her time.  Apparently, this go around is pretty much Lola’s gig, although Madonna is involved in the business side of things, attending meetings with her daughter.

A designer with a line at a department store at age 13.  

Am feeling rather old and unaccomplished at the moment.  You?

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Oh,  this is going to get good…

Celebitchy (via OK! Magazine in the UK ) is reporting that the Big M’s nanny/pretend boy-friend/arm candy Jesus was recently in Paris for a DJing gig at the VIP Room.  Word is Lohan’s people (Dina or Aly?) contacted the club when she heard he was hosting a night there, looking to get an invite to party.  Nothing like trying to remain relevant while going out to get f*cked up.  

However, Madonna got word of it through her minions and lay down the law.  No partying with Lindsay Lohan.  Period. 

Jesus, not one to argue with a commandment from the Big M, was allegedly happy to oblige, knowing where his bread gets buttered being there to work, not to party. 

After investing all this time, effort, and money in Jesus’ career as a DJ, no way is Madonna going to let Lohan anywhere near her property.  With a single coming out later this spring, all Jesus needs is to be associated with Lindsay Lohan and his “career” will be over before it even has a chance to take off.

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Come to think of it, is there anything left walking/breathing that Butler hasn’t supposedly hooked up with at this point? 

 Hollywood Life is reporting that the Madonna and Gerard Butler were seen bumping and grinding away at some after Oscar party on the dance floor, so of course they’re totally doing it.  Then again, Bonnie Fuller and company also think dressing up a three year old girl in anything but gender specific clothing, accessories and hair styles will lead to “issues”, so two people of the opposite gender seen in each other’s company automatically = sex.

Whatever.

Madonna  and Gerry maybe back in his 300 or Dracula 2000 days, but now?  Highly unlikely.  The Big M likes ‘em young (Jesus) or smokin’ hot (Adam Senn).  Gerry doesn’t exactly fit the bill for either. 

As for Gerry’s seemly trimmer waistline on Oscar night, word is that’s in large part  due to Manx (Spanx for men).

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Deciding that she’d give Jesus the night off, Madonna is taking The City star and model Adam Senn (left) as her date when she makes the rounds to various Oscar parties in LA tonight.

Cue the countdown for the “Madonna excommunicates Jesus” rumours to start flying any time now.

Lest anyone get any ideas here, according to Page Six, this is in effort to promote her ad campaign they shot together for D&G. 

So it’s actually come to this.  Promoting ad campaigns. Doesn’t this seem to be a little redundant?  Then again, we’re talking about the master of self promotion here.  

Can’t say I blame the big M for picking him as her date for the evening either, he’s gorgeous.  Apparently, Lindsay Lohan thought so too back in December.  Rumour is they hooked up right before Christmas. 

Madonna taking Lindsay Lohan’s sloppy seconds?

I am shocked and appalled.

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