Apparently, the two were all chatty and chummy at some event in London last night, putting the rumour that the two were on the outs into question.

Either they’ve kissed and made up (possible) or they were making nice while the cameras were around (also possible).

For what it’s worth, I don’t think people like the Big M or Pretentious Paltrow have “friends” like the rest of us have based on common interests, mutual admiration, and understanding so much as strategic partnerships with people in similar positions (very famous and extremley wealthy).

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The big M and some random model were photographed yesterday in Harlem while filming a new ad for D&G. 

Not sure what the concept or intent of the ad is, other than buying Dolce & Gabbana, but putting a 51 year old woman (who’s looking great) beside a kid that barely looks old enough to vote may not end up being the look the fashion line was going for. 

Although once the CGI and Photo-shop people are done making Madonna look like a 30 year old again, the finished ad will probably be gorgeous.

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Ooooooh…this could get good.

Gwyneth Paltrow is currently gracing everyone with her presence on the latest cover of Vogue UK and several excerpts have been released from the accompanying article within.

Apparently, she can “ice people out” and be a bitch.  SHOCKING.  Alas, the magazine article didn’t broach the subject of Gwyneth’s pathological pretention and need to name drop. (Boo).

Says Gywenth, “Oh yes, I can be mean. I can cave in to gossip. I can ice people out and I can definitely harbour revenge. In fact, I’m having a situation right now with a friend where I’m feeling pretty angry. But revenge is corrosive and it doesn’t make me feel good.  I’ll wake up in the morning and think, ‘Ugh, I feel terrible’, and suddenly realize, ‘Ah, that’s why. I’m holding on to so much hate.”

Who might she be talking about? 

Late last summer, Gywneth’s trainer and business partner Tracy Anderson was cut loose by Madonna.  Speculation arose as to the circumstances surrounding the firing (Tracy’s sort of a shady character) and whether this would affect Gywn’s friendship with the singer.

Wonder no more.

Gwyneth’s response when asked about it?  “Yeah, it’s good that she doesn’t train Madonna any more. It was too much. She keeps people waiting – it takes up your whole day.”

Ouch.

Now, Gwyneth is a snotty, snotty, bitch and a right proper snob, so she’d never come right out and say what the above statement implies:  that Madonna is inconsiderate and possibly self absorbed.  

Stop the presses!

No word from the Big M’s camp (yet), but there will be.  Maybe not tomorrow, or the day after, or even next week, but a response of some sort is in the making.

It.  Is.  On.

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…Comes around.  Even for the Big M.

Madonna, fully aware of the irony in this statement, went on the record with  Us Weekly that she wishes daughter Lourdes (Lola) would dress more conservatively.

A whole generation (or two) of women with daughters who grew up trying to emulate Madonna are probably feeling really smug and vindicated right about now.  Just sayin…’

The Big M is teaming with Lola to design a line of clothing called Material Girl for Macy’s (She’s never going to shake that moniker is she?) which should be available later this year.

Madonna says she enjoyed designing a line for H&M a couple of years back, but felt the project took up too much of her time.  Apparently, this go around is pretty much Lola’s gig, although Madonna is involved in the business side of things, attending meetings with her daughter.

A designer with a line at a department store at age 13.  

Am feeling rather old and unaccomplished at the moment.  You?

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Oh,  this is going to get good…

Celebitchy (via OK! Magazine in the UK ) is reporting that the Big M’s nanny/pretend boy-friend/arm candy Jesus was recently in Paris for a DJing gig at the VIP Room.  Word is Lohan’s people (Dina or Aly?) contacted the club when she heard he was hosting a night there, looking to get an invite to party.  Nothing like trying to remain relevant while going out to get f*cked up.  

However, Madonna got word of it through her minions and lay down the law.  No partying with Lindsay Lohan.  Period. 

Jesus, not one to argue with a commandment from the Big M, was allegedly happy to oblige, knowing where his bread gets buttered being there to work, not to party. 

After investing all this time, effort, and money in Jesus’ career as a DJ, no way is Madonna going to let Lohan anywhere near her property.  With a single coming out later this spring, all Jesus needs is to be associated with Lindsay Lohan and his “career” will be over before it even has a chance to take off.

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Come to think of it, is there anything left walking/breathing that Butler hasn’t supposedly hooked up with at this point? 

 Hollywood Life is reporting that the Madonna and Gerard Butler were seen bumping and grinding away at some after Oscar party on the dance floor, so of course they’re totally doing it.  Then again, Bonnie Fuller and company also think dressing up a three year old girl in anything but gender specific clothing, accessories and hair styles will lead to “issues”, so two people of the opposite gender seen in each other’s company automatically = sex.

Whatever.

Madonna  and Gerry maybe back in his 300 or Dracula 2000 days, but now?  Highly unlikely.  The Big M likes ‘em young (Jesus) or smokin’ hot (Adam Senn).  Gerry doesn’t exactly fit the bill for either. 

As for Gerry’s seemly trimmer waistline on Oscar night, word is that’s in large part  due to Manx (Spanx for men).

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Deciding that she’d give Jesus the night off, Madonna is taking The City star and model Adam Senn (left) as her date when she makes the rounds to various Oscar parties in LA tonight.

Cue the countdown for the “Madonna excommunicates Jesus” rumours to start flying any time now.

Lest anyone get any ideas here, according to Page Six, this is in effort to promote her ad campaign they shot together for D&G. 

So it’s actually come to this.  Promoting ad campaigns. Doesn’t this seem to be a little redundant?  Then again, we’re talking about the master of self promotion here.  

Can’t say I blame the big M for picking him as her date for the evening either, he’s gorgeous.  Apparently, Lindsay Lohan thought so too back in December.  Rumour is they hooked up right before Christmas. 

Madonna taking Lindsay Lohan’s sloppy seconds?

I am shocked and appalled.

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Will Jesus model for her?

Word via fashion bible WWD today that the Big M is in talks (re: negotiating a price tag) to put her name and face on a line of  clothes  for Macy’s.

Apparently, names being considered for the line are “Material Girl” or “Truth & Dare“. 

Meh.  Boring and dated.  

Perhaps if they want to tie this venture into Madonna’s musical background, they should be inspired more recent efforts, such as “Sorry“, “Nothing Fails“, or “Die Another Day“. 

Tempting fate too much?

How about playing with their names a little?  “M for M by M“. 

If Justin Timberlake and Pete Wentz can pull it off, why not the Big M?  Then again, that line she did for H&M a couple of years ago left something to be desired.

Oh well, this was before Lady Gaga and Rihanna made it perfectly acceptable to dress looking like a colour blind mental patient running amok with a pair of scissors.

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I found Jesus!  He was on the dancefloor with Madonna.  

After breakup rumours about the big M and Jesus breaking up a short time ago, followed by more rumours that Madonna already found a replacement boyfriend with a young Peter Gallagher look-a-like model, she was spotted in Rio with Jesus, dancing up a storm in some club before being whisked back to their hotel (pictured above).

Question is they’re together, but are they together together? (Forever and ever and ever?) 

We all wait with baited breath.  Come on Big M, don’t keep us guessing too long.

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Jesus, that was quick!   Sorry, but I couldn’t resist one last go at it.  The jokes, they write themselves, I tell ya.  Ok, moving on…

Having split up with or being dumped by Jesus Luz (depending on where you read about it) mostly due to their 300 years age difference, reports keep surfacing that the Big M has already found a new employee, boy-friend, arm-candy, and babysitter in Spanish model Jon Kortajarena. 

Until we see pics of them together I’m not entirely buying it, although Jon is far more age appropriate being 24 as opposed to Jesus’ 23.

Most pictures show him looking sulky/sexy which actually sort of makes Jon look constipated.  If the two are indeed an item and Madonna treats him the way she supposedly treated Jesus (with his own apartment, and $10 ooo allowance per month) we should see pictures of Jon smiling soon enough.

Is it just me or does he look like Peter Gallagher circa 1981?

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