Will Jesus model for her?

Word via fashion bible WWD today that the Big M is in talks (re: negotiating a price tag) to put her name and face on a line of  clothes  for Macy’s.

Apparently, names being considered for the line are “Material Girl” or “Truth & Dare“. 

Meh.  Boring and dated.  

Perhaps if they want to tie this venture into Madonna’s musical background, they should be inspired more recent efforts, such as “Sorry“, “Nothing Fails“, or “Die Another Day“. 

Tempting fate too much?

How about playing with their names a little?  “M for M by M“. 

If Justin Timberlake and Pete Wentz can pull it off, why not the Big M?  Then again, that line she did for H&M a couple of years ago left something to be desired.

Oh well, this was before Lady Gaga and Rihanna made it perfectly acceptable to dress looking like a colour blind mental patient running amok with a pair of scissors.

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I found Jesus!  He was on the dancefloor with Madonna.  

After breakup rumours about the big M and Jesus breaking up a short time ago, followed by more rumours that Madonna already found a replacement boyfriend with a young Peter Gallagher look-a-like model, she was spotted in Rio with Jesus, dancing up a storm in some club before being whisked back to their hotel (pictured above).

Question is they’re together, but are they together together? (Forever and ever and ever?) 

We all wait with baited breath.  Come on Big M, don’t keep us guessing too long.

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Jesus, that was quick!   Sorry, but I couldn’t resist one last go at it.  The jokes, they write themselves, I tell ya.  Ok, moving on…

Having split up with or being dumped by Jesus Luz (depending on where you read about it) mostly due to their 300 years age difference, reports keep surfacing that the Big M has already found a new employee, boy-friend, arm-candy, and babysitter in Spanish model Jon Kortajarena. 

Until we see pics of them together I’m not entirely buying it, although Jon is far more age appropriate being 24 as opposed to Jesus’ 23.

Most pictures show him looking sulky/sexy which actually sort of makes Jon look constipated.  If the two are indeed an item and Madonna treats him the way she supposedly treated Jesus (with his own apartment, and $10 ooo allowance per month) we should see pictures of Jon smiling soon enough.

Is it just me or does he look like Peter Gallagher circa 1981?

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The Chigaco Sun Times is saying so.

Apparrently the Big M and her fake boyfriend/nanny/arm candy Jesus Luz parted on amicable terms according to some source (Rocco or Lordes?). Word is it was Jesus who initiated the split, citing lack of mutual intrests due in part to the age gap (he’s just 23, she turned 51 in August).  

Theory # 1.  There was something to those rumours floating around that Madonna hooked up again with A-Rod last weekend and Jesus bailed.  After all, his career as a DJ is starting to gel, as is his modeling career, so he’s not dependent on his alledged $10k a month allowence he was getting from her.

Theory # 2.  Lordes can probably take care of her siblings now and Madonna is busy working on a new album, so Jesus probably found himself sitting alone in that apartnent Madonna got him, twiddling his thumbs half the time bored out of his mind.  Pretty boys need constant attention in order to thrive.

What a waste!  So much for all those Madonna/Jesus “play on words” I was keeping for future use.

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The jokes, they almost write themselves with this one.

The The Sun is pretendingreporting that some source has told them that the 51 year old diva and her 22 year old pretend boyfriend/nanny/arm-candy want to have a baby.  Together. 

Apparently, Jesus really wants to have a baby (sure he does), because all 22 year old kept boys want one as it’s the latest accessory.  Will he love him and hold him and squeeze him and call him George?  Or does Jesus just want to cement himself more permanently to the big M? 

As for Madonna, the source says “M says motherhood is her greatest achievement and the most fulfilling thing in her life. She knows that, at 51, it’s going to be harder to conceive naturally. But she is Olympic-athlete fit and is ready for the challenge.”

I thought she already had a fifth kid with Jesus, but if this actually happens, it really will be a miracle.

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Hasn’t he heard of manscaping?

Jesus Luz, Madonna’s fake boyfriend/nanny/red carpet arm candy, got profiled in the new issue of Interview Magazine.

In the article, Jesus talks about his name, his aspirations, and well, proves to be one hell of a dull interview.  Total snore… zzzzzzzzzzzzzz….  Apparently, Madonna keeps him around for things other than stimulating intellectual conversation.  Who knew?

As for the photo, I know letting body hair grow on guys is all the rage again, but seriously, trim a little.  If nothing else, it makes your junk look bigger.

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You know you’ve had too much work done when it takes an industrial strength face net to keep it all in place and from falling apart.

The Big M and the recently MIA Jesus went to catch a movie in New York City the other night, trying to keep warm in the horribly long walk from the building to their waiting limo.  Ah, sarcasm, where would I be without you?  How long are they actually outside for, a half minute, tops? 

Actually, the more I think about it, the more this looks like it isn’t about protecting the skin from the cold, or making a fashion statement so much as it is about protecting the face from the cameras.  You?

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Are you ready for a rapping Madonna?

Word is the big M is going for a heavier sound on her next studio album (her 12th and first with Live Nation ) which is said to be due late next year. 

The one and only thing Madonna almost always seems to be consistent with is releasing an album of all new material every two and a half years.  Her last album, Hard Candy, dropped in April of 2008.

Always savvy in picking up and comers to work with her (William Orbit on 1998′s Ray of Light, Air on 2000′s Music) producers Brendon O’Brien and A-Trak are both contributing with the Big M on the the as yet untitled project.

A guy known for indie-rock and another for electro-rap?  Sounds like Madonna is covering two seperate bases to appeal to a wider audience  (think early Linkin’ Park).  I smell either a big hit or an elcectic mess in the works.

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No, not Jesus.  He’s conspicuously absent again.  Hmmm.  Perhaps he talks through movies and drives her nuts?  Word is he’s got a DJ-ing gig in Brazil.

The Big M brought her eldest daughter Lordes 13,  to the premiere of Nine last night in New York City.  I still can’t get over the fact that Madonna is 51. Bitch looks good.

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It’s been a while since I posted anything about her.  Although I wonder what she did with Jesus, give him the night off?

Madonna went to an advanced screening of Tom Ford’s A Single Man last night at the MoMA in New York City. 

A virtual who’s who of Manhatten’s movers and shakers, it looks like the screening was one of those events that the famous (or wanna be famous) bitch at their publicists at to make sure their names appear on the guest list. 

You just know the big M hit the gym for a 2 and a half hour workout once she left the party, penance for having a martini or two with Tom Ford during the event.  Just kidding (no I’m not).

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