Irresponsible dog owners are a real pet peeve of mine.  So is Rachael Ray.

The Oprah approved talk show host/cook with the gaping maw of a mouth is “grief stricken” worried that she’s going to get her ass sued because her beloved pit bull Issaboo ripped off another dog’s ear the other day in Greenwich Village, the latest in a series of attacks by her pet to other animals.

Ray is concerned she might have to muzzle Issaboo now when she takes her out for walks or even have her put down because of the dog’s aggression.  Apparently, Ray even received a bite once when she got in between her dog and another while Isaboo was attacking it. 

Sorry, sayWHAT???

Your dog’s from a breed known to have issues, has proven time and again it’s overly aggressive, is a known biter and you still insist on taking it for walks unmuzzled? 

Stupid. 

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Meh.

Don’t know how I missed this one.  Actually I do, I was hoping praying it was a joke, but Mike (The Situation) Sorrentino of Jersey Shore is supposedly launching his own celebrity fragrance for men.

Called The Sitch, the fragrance will possibly include hints of tanning booth, hair gel, hot-tub hook-ups, ‘roids and gym sweat.  Mmmm…Hot! 

No telling when The Sitch will be launched or who in their right mind will carry it (discount drugstore chains?) as something tells me retailers like Saks, Macy‘s and Holt‘s won’t be on board for this one.

What’s next, “Snookums by Snookie”?

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…But not for this.

For those of you that are flying to London and still have a thing for ABBA, great news. 

A new shrine museum for all things ABBA offically opens tomorrow, called ABBA WORLD.  The website for the place promises ”The Music!  The Memories!  The Magic!”  Also included as a bonus?  The hideous hair, the horrible clothes….

Before you run to your travel agent to book your tickets (come on, you know your going to) here are some details.  ABBAWORLD is a 30 000 square foot theme park including memorbilla, props, costumes, horrific caricatures (pictured) and an advanced hologram that “audienence members can interact with“.  Translation: Karaoke to ABBA with projections.  Ugh.

Do.  Not.  Want.

Actually, I think it’s pretty amazing that 28 years after the group called it a day, there’s still this much interest in them.  Mama Mia (the play and the movie) and Madonna’s hit Hung Up really did wonders for a rivival, but in all honesty, been there, done that (including singing in a very high voice to the group’s records as a then 11 to 12 year old gay-boy in training).

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Meanwhile we clip coupons.

The kid on the throne with a crown is the offspring of Diddy (Sean Combs) and future holy terror of the roadways, Justin Dior Combs at his 16th birthday party which was held over the weekend at some club in NYC.

He named his kid after a design house?  How pretentious.  Then again, this is P Diddy we’re talking about here.  

Anyway, Page Six reports Justin’s birthday party included about 1000 of his closest friends, several members of the cast of Jersey Shore (probably there hedging their bets in case their salary demands with MTV don’t pan out) and performances by Fabolous, Lil’ Kim, Trey Songz, and Julez Santana.  Unsurprisingly, the whole overblown affair was filmed for a future episode of MTV‘s My Super Sweet Sixteen.

For presents (because a party that probably set him back half a million or so clearly isn’t enough), Diddy gave Justin a $360 000 Maybach, complete with a driver until the kid gets his license, and $10 000 in cash (for gas money?)

Gasing the car up may have to wait though, as Justin told reporters that he’s going to donate the money to Haiti relief efforts, which was actually refreshing to hear.  Most kids that appear on My Super Sweet Sixteen are usually anything but super or sweet.

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Haters to the left…

The fame shy thesp, who also happens to be an aspiring musician and singer, previously contributed songs to the Twilight soundtrack.  Now comes word (via the UK Sun) that Simon Cowell has approached Pattinson with a recording deal.

And what a deal it is.  Apparently, a bit of bidding war erupted once word got out with the end result being that Pattinson was supposedly told by Cowell that he could “write his own cheque”.  However, some source is saying Pattinson’s wary of signing on with Cowell, as he’s known primarily for producing pop music, X-Factor and American Idol, while Sparkles takes his music very seriously.  If you managed to read that without rolling your eyes, your a better person than me.

How much of this is actually true and how much is Twi-hard wishful thinking/fan-fiction turned into rumour run amok remains to be seen.

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Chris Brown takes another disastrous media mis-step and invites an even bigger poo-storm.

After being vilified (and deservedly so) in the media for beating then girlfriend Rihanna last year and being convicted of assault, Chris Brown attended a Jean Paul Gautier fashion show, (the theme of which was boxing) during Paris’ Fashion Week.

The logic behind agreeing to pose for photos with someone who’s been made to look like he got the crap beaten out of him when it’s been less than a year since a conviction for doing the exact same thing to somebody else completley escapes me. 

Although Brown has maintained he’s very sorry for what happened, his actions since the incident last February would seem to indicate otherwise. 

Yet he still wonders why his album and concert ticket sales are down.  Guy needs to find himself a better PR team and start listening to their advice while he still has a career left to protect.

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Apparently, that’s what In Touch paid Sarah Palin and her daughter Bristol for about 8 hours of “work” for the cover shot.  No word on what the babies held out for, but I’d imagine they’d be a tough sell.

Looks like quitting politics (at least for now) was the smartest thing Palin’s done career wise.  Besides her best selling book Going Rogue, she recently became a pundit for Fox News, and commands $100 000 per speaking engagement. 

As for Bristol, she seems to have inheritated her mother’s knack for saying things that cause people to shake their heads and go “huh?”, announcing to In Touch during the interview, “I’m not going to have sex until I’m married. I can guarantee it.”

Sorry sweetie, the “born again virgin” routine has no validity.  Once you’ve been plucked, there’s no going back, especially when you ended up as somebody’s mother nine months later.

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I was hopingthought that the semi-mummified bible thumper had already been “called home to God”.  I thought wrong.  Disappointment abounds.

As if people don’t have enough on their minds right now after Haiti was devastated by a major earthquake, comes Robertson, full of compassion and tact as always after a crisis.

While on the 700 Club, the televangelist and humanitarian (sarcasm) said that the reason it happened “may be a blessing in disguise. … Something happened a long time ago in Haiti, and people might not want to talk about it. Haitians were originally under the heel of the French. You know, Napoleon the third, or whatever. And they got together and swore a pact to the devil. They said, we will serve you if you will get us free from the French. True story. And so, the devil said, okay it’s a deal. Ever since they have been cursed by one thing after the other.”

Translation: Voodoo practitioners brought this on themselves.

This mindset and shouldn’t come as a surprise really.  According to Robertson and his ilk, the 911 attacks were a direct result of gays and feminists, and hurricane Katrina was of course brought on by abortion rights. 

Well, obviously.  Duh.

A spokesminion for Robertson and the 700 Club has since clarified that Robertson didn’t actually say that it was “God’s wrath” that caused the earthquake.

That’s what’s so odious about Robertson and those like him.  They’re almost rabidly xenophobic, but use their religious beliefs to hide behind, so they rarely have to contend with the sticky business of personal accountability.

The Lords work my ass.

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Or even 30, at the rate she’s going.

Heidi Montag, 23, would be pop-star and the one half of celebrity famewhore entity known as ”Spiedy”, tells People in their latest issue that she’s “beyond obsessed” with how she looks and for the past three years had been thinking about what to have done to herself.

 Apparently Montag had ten procedures in one day and now considers herself “addicted” to plastic surgery.  Which, if nothing else, will get you at least mentioned,  if not a cover story, so you can promote your music “career” and new album.  (Does a botox injection count as a procedure?)

Yes that’s right, this announcement comes on the heels of the release of her debut album Superficial, which has apparently left her and Spencer “broke” taking almost three years to make.

“I’ve spent almost $2 million on this album. It’s cost as much or more than a Britney Spears album, because I wanted it to be that quality and to be able to get those people.  I think within the first week we will definitely make our money back. The songs will make an impact in pop history.”

Or make peoples ears pop in protest.  They can only handle so much noise pollution what with American Idol back on and in the “auditions” phase.

Back to her plastic surgery “addiction”, in 2007, Montag had her nose and boobs done, but apparently felt her character and personality were just fine the way they were.  After all, she did end up married to Spencer Pratt (sarcasm).

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You just know this is how it was pitched to the network brass.

ABC has given the green-light to the Bachelor Pad, bringing back 20 castoffs from previous seasons of the Bachelorette and the Bachelor to live in the same house and compete in a series of different challenges based on previous situations from both shows.  

Yes, they’re starting with an “all stars” version of the show, although if subsequent seasons (assuming this thing flies with viewers) always features previous contestants, wouldn’t each version therefore be an “all stars” version?

Bachelor host Chris Harrison is back on board to emcee the the show, and each episode will conclude with contestants being evicted.  Possible promotional line?  “Most! Dramatic! Eviction! Ceremony! Ever!” 

ABC has ordered an initial seven episodes, with plans to start to air them in the late summer, around the time The Bachelorette is finishing up.  This means that the airwaves will be “Bachelorized” three out of the four seasons per year.

Resistance is futile.

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