Faithless Hussy (aka Rachel Uchitel) never one to miss a chance to famewhore, came back from her exile vacation in Mexico to address the whole David Boreanaz thing and set the record straight yesterday.

“David Boreanaz is not part of my life, nor will he be.  I am not in contact with him and do not wish to be. I have made no claims against him and do not plan to assert any. Any statements to the contrary are false and I hope that this statement will finally end any speculation about this issue.  I am looking forward to a life not filled with scandal, rumor, innuendo or false statements. I will not have any further comment regarding David Boreanaz.” She said in a statement through her lawyer Gloria Allred.

Faithless Hussy apparently did have a fling with Boreanaz last summer, before moving on to Tiger Woods (hence her monikor), who gave her a huge chunk of hush money to keep her quiet.

As for her hopes of living a life free of scandal, rumour, and innuendo?

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Famewhoring and desperation for relevance makes strange bedfellows.

Now comes word via People that Emilio Masella, the fame hungry Guido that latched himself onto Jersey Shore’s Snooki earlier this year, only to be kicked to the curb when she realized he was more interested in being on reality TV than being on her, is going to be starring in his own reality TV show called (wait for this)…Fist Pumping For Love.

I’m not making this crap up.

The series will follow Emilio around the USA as he looks for love in all the wrong places from Hollywood to Queens in search of a “real Guidette who can speak Italian”.  Sounds like a real winner. 

Who’s brain child is this?  Pratt Productions.  As in Spencer Pratt.  The increasingly plastic looking Heidi Montag is listed as an “executive producer”.  Random sidenote – both were listed yesterday among Time Magazine’s “least influential” people (heh).

Full of delusions of grandeur as always, Spencer released a statement, saying “It is the perfect partnership for me as a growing player in reality television.”

Filming has already started this week.  No word if any network has picked the show up as of yet or even expressed interest.

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Jesse James was interviewed by People regarding his and Sandra Bullock’s (now just her) adoption of a baby and their upcoming divorce.

“My whole life has been full of hard decisions.”

“The decision to let my wife end our marriage, and continue the adoption of Louis on her own, has been the hardest. The love I have for Louis cannot be put to words. Not having him around to love and to hold has left a huge hole in my heart.

“Sandy is the love of my life, but considering the pain and devastation I have caused her, it would be selfish to not let her go. Right now it is time for me to beat this addiction that has taken two of the things I love the most in life.”

“I have always taken great pride in proving people wrong. That time has come once again to show that I am not what everyone says I am. I know in my heart that I can be the best father possible to my four children, and the mate Sandy deserves, and realize that this is an incredible mountain to climb. But I believe that the steps I have taken in the last 30 days are the foundation for making this happen. The lifelong commitment I am making is what being a real husband and father is all about.”

“I ask that you please do not judge Sandy for the things I have done. She has done no wrong. She played no part in any of this. She has been an amazing wife, mother, and best friend, for the over 6 years we have been together.”

Oh, Boo Hoo!  What’s all this “let her” crap?  Is he serious?? Did he even have a choice in the matter??? 

Even though there was allegedly a pre-nup that made cheating grounds for no money in the event of a divorce, Sandra’s probably paying him off (and well) to disappear quietly and not make any more waves than he already has.

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Sreaming, crying, fainting, and more hysterical crying.  This is exactly what happens when my internet connection goes down (not really).

Anyway. 

Justin Bieber, the 16 year old pre-pubesant looking elf that caused a riot in a Long Island mall late last year brought his particular brand of fan generating mass hysteria to Sydney, with pretty much the same results.

The Beib was supposed to perform a free concert, and just like the autograph session in Long Island, thousands of teenage girls showed up, becoming unruly when a rumour spread that the singer was showing up early.  Several girls were hurt in the ensuing stage rush and at least 10 fainted.  The concert was cancelled by the buzz kills in the police department due to safety concerns and the Beib enbded up performing one song from a different location instead. 

Dreams were crushed, hearts were broken, tears were shed, Tweets (“I WANT TO MAKE THIS CLEAR…I DONT CANCEL…I WOKE UP THIS MORNING TO THE POLICE CANCELING THE SHOW FOR SAFETY REASONS.”) were sent.   Long story short.

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Great news for the 600 or so of you out there that actually bought Heidi Montag’s debut (and likely only) album.  There’s now a video for the lead (and likely last) single, Superficial.

The footage is stuff Heidi and Spencer have collected over the years and choose to use rather than sink any more money into a DOA album to make the video look “more authentic”.

By authentic, Heidi means a budgety video that looks like it was spliced together at the last minute for a high school sophomore’s drama class.  It was probably contributions to the medium like this that made MTV increasingly turn to reality TV in the first place.

WARNING: Do not view with sound on unless you have something for pain relief (pills or booze) close at hand.  Don’t say you weren’t warned.

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Taking a cue from any number of Jesse James’ or Tiger Woods’ multiple whores, Hector Penate (nickname Penetrate) has sold his story of boning Larry King’s wife Shawn Southwick to the always classyInTouch Weekly 

According to Penetrate, he met Shawn through coaching her and Larry’s kid’s little league team in New Hampshire.  He’d pop over to their place while Larry was busy on TV to have sexy times. Penetrate says Larry knew all about him carrying on with Shawn but didn’t care cause he was too busy hitting it with her sister, Shannon.

Apparently, Shawn controls Larry who Penetrate calls a “sex freak”.  Like a true kept-boy, Penetrate got a car, clothes, and his rent paid for his troubles.  Larry even cosigned on his lease.  Uh-oh.  Guess that particular gravy train is about to come to a crashing halt.

BTW – what are you supposed to call a male version of a mistress or whore now?  Gigolo seems…dated.

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The creator of Cheaters, that wonderful staple of late night TV syndication where the jilted confront their partners in the midst of stepping out on them (often with violent results) is now shopping around a new version.

Celebrity Cheaterswill follow the same basic premise, only it will try to catch actual celebrities (Z to D listers) “with their pants down”.  Even better (or worse, depending on how you look at it) this trainwreck in the making will apparently be hosted by the two delicate flowers above, Bombshell McGee and Jamie Jungers, who both know something about cheating since they’ve both previously slept with other women’s husbands (Jesse James and Tiger Woods).

Since both Bombshell and Jamie seem to have the second part of “famewhore” down pat, looks like they’re both determined to work on the first and stretch out their fifteen minutes.

Does anyone think this is a good idea?

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..We bring you The Right Network. 

Sadly, this is neither a late April Fools Day joke, or a satire.

Bringing you everything that’s apparently “right” in the world, (but not too right, or that’s fascism, right?) the Right Network promises to bring a perspective that we don’t normally get in the media.  That being, Pro-America, Pro-Business, Pro-Military and rapidly xeno-phobic.

Well!  Thank God someone has finally, finally stood up for the US of A, all those multi billion-dollar corporations, and of course the poor beleaguered industrial military complex.  

Must admit a certain amount of curiosity (in a horrified sort of way) as to what the programming and content will be on this network.   I’m sure Sarah Palin, Glenn Beck, Patricia Heaton, Lou Dobbs, Elizabeth Hasselbeck, and Anne Coulter are already signing up for service.

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The screenwriter that was responsible for the epic fail that was Battlefield Earth has apologized for his involvement in it.  Sort of.

Like many guys, JD Shapiro thinks with his dick (or as he calls it, Willy Wonka).  Apparently, “Willy” decided the Scientology Centre in LA would be a great place to meet closet caseswomen, so off they went, looking to get laid.   He ended up meeting the grand poo-bah of the centre who introduced him to John Travolta.  Travolta had JD read Battlefield Earth, who agreed to come up with a script to take to the studios.

Alas, for sci-fi geeks, film goers, and the human race in general, what JD came up with was not what ended up on screen. 

“My script was very, VERY different than what ended up on the screen. My screenplay was darker, grittier and had a very compelling story with rich characters. What my screenplay didn’t have was slow motion at every turn, Dutch tilts, campy dialogue, aliens in KISS boots, and everyone wearing Bob Marley wigs.”

Meh.  Considering that JD calls his penis Willy Wonka, perhaps it’s just as well this endeavor pretty much torpedoed his career as a screenwriter.

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But something about this seems a little contrived.  Although it looks like Gerry has everything well in hand…

Jennifer Aniston and Gerard Butler are busy in gay Paris, pimping out for their latest stinker The Bounty Hunter.  It’s made about $40 million so far, which is ok, but far from being a “hit”.  Which explains the suggestive PDA TMZ shot while the pair continues to claim they’re  ”just friends”.  If the movie can’t sell itself on it’s own, a fake romance born on the set to incite interest or a reasonable fascimile there of always helps.

If these two are anything other than co-workers, it’s friends with benefits (even if it was just once to see what all the fuss was about regarding the other).

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