Jesse James was interviewed by People regarding his and Sandra Bullock’s (now just her) adoption of a baby and their upcoming divorce.

“My whole life has been full of hard decisions.”

“The decision to let my wife end our marriage, and continue the adoption of Louis on her own, has been the hardest. The love I have for Louis cannot be put to words. Not having him around to love and to hold has left a huge hole in my heart.

“Sandy is the love of my life, but considering the pain and devastation I have caused her, it would be selfish to not let her go. Right now it is time for me to beat this addiction that has taken two of the things I love the most in life.”

“I have always taken great pride in proving people wrong. That time has come once again to show that I am not what everyone says I am. I know in my heart that I can be the best father possible to my four children, and the mate Sandy deserves, and realize that this is an incredible mountain to climb. But I believe that the steps I have taken in the last 30 days are the foundation for making this happen. The lifelong commitment I am making is what being a real husband and father is all about.”

“I ask that you please do not judge Sandy for the things I have done. She has done no wrong. She played no part in any of this. She has been an amazing wife, mother, and best friend, for the over 6 years we have been together.”

Oh, Boo Hoo!  What’s all this “let her” crap?  Is he serious?? Did he even have a choice in the matter??? 

Even though there was allegedly a pre-nup that made cheating grounds for no money in the event of a divorce, Sandra’s probably paying him off (and well) to disappear quietly and not make any more waves than he already has.

Tweet This Post

Sreaming, crying, fainting, and more hysterical crying.  This is exactly what happens when my internet connection goes down (not really).

Anyway. 

Justin Bieber, the 16 year old pre-pubesant looking elf that caused a riot in a Long Island mall late last year brought his particular brand of fan generating mass hysteria to Sydney, with pretty much the same results.

The Beib was supposed to perform a free concert, and just like the autograph session in Long Island, thousands of teenage girls showed up, becoming unruly when a rumour spread that the singer was showing up early.  Several girls were hurt in the ensuing stage rush and at least 10 fainted.  The concert was cancelled by the buzz kills in the police department due to safety concerns and the Beib enbded up performing one song from a different location instead. 

Dreams were crushed, hearts were broken, tears were shed, Tweets (“I WANT TO MAKE THIS CLEAR…I DONT CANCEL…I WOKE UP THIS MORNING TO THE POLICE CANCELING THE SHOW FOR SAFETY REASONS.”) were sent.   Long story short.

Tweet This Post

“> 

Great news for the 600 or so of you out there that actually bought Heidi Montag’s debut (and likely only) album.  There’s now a video for the lead (and likely last) single, Superficial.

The footage is stuff Heidi and Spencer have collected over the years and choose to use rather than sink any more money into a DOA album to make the video look “more authentic”.

By authentic, Heidi means a budgety video that looks like it was spliced together at the last minute for a high school sophomore’s drama class.  It was probably contributions to the medium like this that made MTV increasingly turn to reality TV in the first place.

WARNING: Do not view with sound on unless you have something for pain relief (pills or booze) close at hand.  Don’t say you weren’t warned.

Tweet This Post

Taking a cue from any number of Jesse James’ or Tiger Woods’ multiple whores, Hector Penate (nickname Penetrate) has sold his story of boning Larry King’s wife Shawn Southwick to the always classyInTouch Weekly 

According to Penetrate, he met Shawn through coaching her and Larry’s kid’s little league team in New Hampshire.  He’d pop over to their place while Larry was busy on TV to have sexy times. Penetrate says Larry knew all about him carrying on with Shawn but didn’t care cause he was too busy hitting it with her sister, Shannon.

Apparently, Shawn controls Larry who Penetrate calls a “sex freak”.  Like a true kept-boy, Penetrate got a car, clothes, and his rent paid for his troubles.  Larry even cosigned on his lease.  Uh-oh.  Guess that particular gravy train is about to come to a crashing halt.

BTW – what are you supposed to call a male version of a mistress or whore now?  Gigolo seems…dated.

Tweet This Post

The creator of Cheaters, that wonderful staple of late night TV syndication where the jilted confront their partners in the midst of stepping out on them (often with violent results) is now shopping around a new version.

Celebrity Cheaterswill follow the same basic premise, only it will try to catch actual celebrities (Z to D listers) “with their pants down”.  Even better (or worse, depending on how you look at it) this trainwreck in the making will apparently be hosted by the two delicate flowers above, Bombshell McGee and Jamie Jungers, who both know something about cheating since they’ve both previously slept with other women’s husbands (Jesse James and Tiger Woods).

Since both Bombshell and Jamie seem to have the second part of “famewhore” down pat, looks like they’re both determined to work on the first and stretch out their fifteen minutes.

Does anyone think this is a good idea?

Tweet This Post

“> 

..We bring you The Right Network. 

Sadly, this is neither a late April Fools Day joke, or a satire.

Bringing you everything that’s apparently “right” in the world, (but not too right, or that’s fascism, right?) the Right Network promises to bring a perspective that we don’t normally get in the media.  That being, Pro-America, Pro-Business, Pro-Military and rapidly xeno-phobic.

Well!  Thank God someone has finally, finally stood up for the US of A, all those multi billion-dollar corporations, and of course the poor beleaguered industrial military complex.  

Must admit a certain amount of curiosity (in a horrified sort of way) as to what the programming and content will be on this network.   I’m sure Sarah Palin, Glenn Beck, Patricia Heaton, Lou Dobbs, Elizabeth Hasselbeck, and Anne Coulter are already signing up for service.

Tweet This Post

The screenwriter that was responsible for the epic fail that was Battlefield Earth has apologized for his involvement in it.  Sort of.

Like many guys, JD Shapiro thinks with his dick (or as he calls it, Willy Wonka).  Apparently, “Willy” decided the Scientology Centre in LA would be a great place to meet closet caseswomen, so off they went, looking to get laid.   He ended up meeting the grand poo-bah of the centre who introduced him to John Travolta.  Travolta had JD read Battlefield Earth, who agreed to come up with a script to take to the studios.

Alas, for sci-fi geeks, film goers, and the human race in general, what JD came up with was not what ended up on screen. 

“My script was very, VERY different than what ended up on the screen. My screenplay was darker, grittier and had a very compelling story with rich characters. What my screenplay didn’t have was slow motion at every turn, Dutch tilts, campy dialogue, aliens in KISS boots, and everyone wearing Bob Marley wigs.”

Meh.  Considering that JD calls his penis Willy Wonka, perhaps it’s just as well this endeavor pretty much torpedoed his career as a screenwriter.

Tweet This Post

But something about this seems a little contrived.  Although it looks like Gerry has everything well in hand…

Jennifer Aniston and Gerard Butler are busy in gay Paris, pimping out for their latest stinker The Bounty Hunter.  It’s made about $40 million so far, which is ok, but far from being a “hit”.  Which explains the suggestive PDA TMZ shot while the pair continues to claim they’re  ”just friends”.  If the movie can’t sell itself on it’s own, a fake romance born on the set to incite interest or a reasonable fascimile there of always helps.

If these two are anything other than co-workers, it’s friends with benefits (even if it was just once to see what all the fuss was about regarding the other).

Tweet This Post

“ 

Blah blah blah, last night, blah, Nickelodeon, blah blah, “awards”, blah blah blah, Taylor Lautner, Miley Cyrus, Rihanna, creepy little homunculus Justin Bieber, blah blah, Katy Perry, blah, slimed.

Tweet This Post

Ugh. 

Sarah Palin’s Alasaka, produced by Mark Burnnett has been snapped up the by the network for a cool $1 million per episode.

The eight part show will focus on “the remarkable Governor Palin and the state of Alaska“  TLC is marketing more of a documentary than a reality show.

Possible scenarios for future episodes could include hunting expeditions (moose, wild turkey, caribou, and illegal immigrants) and keeping an eye on the Russians across the straight or the Canadians to the south (too socialist that bunch, can’t be up to anything good). Other potential episodes could deal with the Palins running people out of town who don’t see eye to eye with Sarah’s politics.  Good times.

No word yet if there are any plans to have Palin family nemisis Levi Johnston to be involved in any capacity.

Tweet This Post