Oh nos!!!

Whatever shall we do without our weekly Brody Jenner fix???

MTV has confirmed that the upcoming season of long running pseudo-reality show The Hills, which brought us such celebutards as Lauren Conrad, Heidi Motag, and Audrina Patridge (Brody Jenner and Spencer Pratt notwithstanding), will be it’s last.

Apparently, the network has milked all it can from several seasons of having a bunch of nearly brain dead twenty-somethings mumble vapid lines about absolutely nothing to each other while looking fabulous.  Also a factor?  Sliding ratings.  The ever fickle demographic that tuned in has pretty much moved on from The Hills to The City and now Jersey Shore. 

The famewhores that make up the casts of these shows sometimes forget, fame is fleeting.

Guess all good mediocre wretched things must come to an end.

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Too harsh, or not nearly harsh enough? 

Word is Lindsay Lohan, she on the Tara Reid Express with no signs of slowing down, is now going to be designing hand-bags for Jon Gosselin’s favorite designer, Ed Hardy.

Blah.

Apparently, Ed and Linds decided to pool their collective talents as both were looking for a way to make money, stay relevant,  and in the media spotlight. 

Well, two out of three ain’t bad.

According to E!, some source (Dina disguising her voice), says that there are already “three collections in development…. Lindsay is very directly involved with the project, and she’s always pulling things online and from magazines for ideas”

Translation:  Linds flips through magazines in between bumps of whatever’s on hand  and makes note of other peoples work to rip off.

How long do you think it’ll take before Lindsay blows this gig as well?  Her much publicized job as “creative consultant” lasted all of one collection for embattled design house Ungaro.  Will Lindsay prove to be Ed Hardy’s undoing? 

Stay tuned….

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Guess she’s over her ex and moved on.

Reese Witherspoon was photographed out and about with her new boyfriend Jim Toth, a 39 year old agent from CAA, which is how he met her (although he doesn’t represent her – conflict of interest rules and such).

Apparently, Reese has been seeing Jim since the beginning of the year, but this is obviously their way of saying they’re officially together, by being photographed by the paps over a weekend getaway to Ojai.  Non-celebs just have to settle for awkward intoductions at house parties and family get-to-gethers.

Guess Jim’s cute enough (hard to see with the head garb he’s got on), but he’s certainly no Jakey-poo.

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Mark Whalberg was photographed on the set of his new movie The Fighter looking a little less…buff than he did in his Calvin Klein underwear modeling days.

Still looks in to be in fairly decent shape and better than yours truly, but guess he dosen’t have the time or the energy to workout as often as he did (cough-steroids-cough) back in the day.

Kellan Lutz are you paying attention?  This is you in about 15 years (only shorter).

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For all of two seconds, then goes back to her favorite topic, herself.

Remember when Chris Brown asked fans to publicly support him last week? 

Do you think this is what/who he had in mind?

Me neither.

How long before Tila decides Chris is the father of her fake baby (she’s apparently taken to appearing in public with a pillow or body suit)?

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Reality TV makes strange bedfellows…

Mark Burnett and Martha Stewart are collaborating on a new reality show they’re shopping around to the networks called Help Me Martha.

Apparently, the concept revolves around someone who’s over-whelmed by the prospect of throwing a party or facing some sort of  lifestyle issue hearing the doorbell ring, going to answer it and have Martha and her minions standing there, ready to take over at the suggestion of a friend.

Can’t you just see the notoriously no nonsense and somewhat prickly Stewart trying to deal with a Hoarder, helping a Real Housewife organize a dinner party, some over indulgent parent trying to throw their spoiled teen a Super Sweet 16th birthday party, or clashing with a Bridezilla? 

Awesome.

Sadly, I don’t think it will come to that, which is probably why the show hasn’t been picked up, yet.

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Earlier this winter after the Golden Globes, pictures serviced of Jeremy Piven and January Jones were seen leaving a party together. 

Didn’t think I’d top that so soon afterwards, but last night at the post Oscar Vanity Fair party, celebutard Peaches Geldof (20) and actor/director Eli Roth (37) were seen together. 

Maybe she’s hoping to be cast in his next film?

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Not in time to pick up their Razzie Award.  Pity.  Showing a sense of humor about regarding their own celebrity status (which is fading and fading fast) would do wonders for the Jonas Brothers brand longevity.  With Kevin concentrating on being married, Nick concentrating on getting a solo career going, and Joe concentrating on catching footballs they simply don’t have the time.

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Nor is she dating Kim Zolciak.  BAM!  (Sorry I couldn’t resist that one)

Tracy Young debunked the rumours that she and the Real Housewives of Atlanta cast member by speaking directly to UsWeekly saying, “These allegations of a secret affair aren’t new to me. It seems whenever I work with a high-profile female artist, someone is always trying to link us together romantically. The facts are Kim and I worked together….We spent a lot of time in the studio and in the process, became close friends due to our shared interest in music.”

In what weird alternative universe is Kim Tardy for the Party Zolciak a high profile female artist? 

You just know that Nene Leakes is breathing a sigh of relief over this news about Kim.  Any two people who actively go to the extremes they do to show disdain for each other publicly are usually trying to fight their attraction to one another if they’re not already all over each other in private.

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It was only a matter of time…

Poor, sad, lonely Jennifer Aniston is the latest celebrity to enter the fragrance market, with a new scent that “she” has been working on for the past couple of years. 

No word yet on what it’s going to end up being called as apparently Echo and Aniston were both submitted and shot down by the marketing department. 

Uh-oh!  Writers block can be such a bitch, especially when your minions aren’t coming through for you.  (Memo to Jenn get better minions).  Since Jen clearly needs some help since her minions are failing her, how about “Desperation“?  Smells like: contrived rom-coms, John Mayer’s pee and publicist arranged fake boy-friends.  

Another possibility is “Abandoned“.  Smells like: failed relationships, spinster-hood, and loneliness.

I could go on all day with this (it’s fun) but I think I’ll stop now.

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