This is so immature I can’t help but get sucked right in.

Levi Johnston is now taking back his public apology to his almost mother in law (x2), and arch nemisis Sarah Palin he made shortly before US Magazine broke the story that he and Sarah’s daughter Bristol were back together and re-engaged (the two split up again about three weeks later).

Levi was interviewed on CBS‘ The Early Show today, saying, “I don’t really regret anything, but the only thing I wish I wouldn’t have done is put out that apology ’cause it kind of makes me sound like a liar. And I’ve never lied about anything. So that’s probably the only thing. The rest of the stuff I can live with.”

What about that lame Playgirlcenterfold with none of his bits showing after teasing us all for months over it?  Disappointment doesn’t even begin to cover it.

Levi just filled papers in Wasilla , Alaska to run for mayor.  You have to wonder if in the relevant experience section he listed “annoying Sarah Palin” as that must surely count for something.  One of the first stops on Levi’s campaign trail was at a gun store (of course) where he was filmed by his camera crew for his reality show holding a $2000 rifle. 

The Wasillan Hillbillies sure know how to up the dramz and create a scene, don’t they?

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Is this an example of wag the dog?

After announcing a surprise re-engagement with baby mama Bristol Palinon the cover of US Magazine last month, only to be dumped for being a famewhore, Levi Johnston has inked a deal for a reality show that will chronicle his run to become mayor of Wasilla, Alaska in 2012.

Loving Levi: The road to the mayors office (that’s the best they could come up with?) will also follow Levi’s pursuit of a career in Hollywood and life as a single father looking for love.

Least anyone think “over Sarah Palin’s dead body”, she got her start as mayor of Wasilla too, and the town’s current title holder was voted in with just 466 votes.  Levi must file to run by July 30th (of next year) to run for 2012. 

When questioned about filing, deadlines, and all that annoying bureaucratic red tape, Levi’s manager/bodyguard Tank Jones said, “People questioned Jesus Christ, so I definitely don’t care about these mere mortals questioning Levi Johnston.”

Up next for Levi, starring in a video with singer Brittani Senser that’s shooting this week.  The two went to the Teen Choice Awards Sunday night.

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After 40 years of marriage, ex-VP of the United States turned environmental activist Al Gore and his wife Tipper are calling it quits.

The pair sent out an email to their friends, writing “We are announcing today that after a great deal of thought and discussion, we have decided to separate. This is very much a mutual and mutually supportive decision that we have made together following a process of long and careful consideration. We ask for respect for our privacy and that of our family, and we do not intend to comment further.”

The Gore’s spokeminion confirmed to the AP that the e-mail was legit, but wouldn’t elaborate further.

How many covers do you think this story will make Thursday, when the new issues of the tabloids come out?  I’m guessing all of them.  Cue the countdown for shocking! and exposed! infidelity and cheating rumours to start flying around as well.  Trust me, this could get good.

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At least this time there weren’t any party crashers (or were there?)

Last night, the White House held it’s annual Corespondents Dinner.  The guest list included a typical who’s who of heavy hitters from both the Beltway and Hollywood, for the most part.

However, some invitees leave questions as to why they were invited in the first place.  Perhaps the Obama’s are trying to cater to the all important youth market (you know, the one that legally can’t vote yet).  

As Bill Maher said last night, (tongue firmly planted in cheek) ”It’s great to mingle with America’s real intellectual heavyweights. I saw the Jonas Brothers, Justin Bieber, Jessica Simpson, Ryan Seacrest – I can’t wait to talk politics.”

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Long story short.  Sen. John Edwards, is that extra skeezy US politician who stepped out on his cancer stricken wife Elizabeth (who by all accounts was no real prize herself) with a woman named Rielle Hunter and fathered her kid, then had his equally creepy aide Andrew Young help cover it up, posing as Hunter’s significant other.

Of course the story broke and truth eventually leaked out, with people asking all involved various questions about their behavior and motives.  Elizabeth initially stayed with John, while Young went on to write a book about the whole thing (natch) then went on how there was a sex tape of Edwards and Hunter and that he’d be forced, (forced!) to sell it if people didn’t buy his book.

Rielle got wind of this and had a Judge slap Andrews with an injunction, forcing him to hand over the sex-tape (give it about six months and it’ll turn up on the Internet somehow).  Meanwhile, Elizabeth decided that John’s future prospects weren’t that good and quit his ass, filing for divorce long after anyone sane would have thrown in the towel.

Now comes word via ABC news that she’s suing Andrews of all people over her husband’s behavior, citing “alienation of affection” apparently mad that Andrew’s didn’t come to her beforehand when he became aware of the fling or just pissed that he’s getting his fifteen minutes of fame and money out of this.  Silly woman, haven’t you heard of “bros before hos?”

This sounds more and more like a convuluted plot from The Simpsons involving Mr Burns, Smithers, Burns’ mother and a guest character/star.

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Oh.  SNAP.

White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs took a not so subtle swipe at Sarah Palin earlier today over her speech this weekend ridiculing Obama as a “charasmatic guy with a teleprompter” while forgetting that she had visible crib notes written in her hand.

Somewhere out there, Levi Johnston is laughing.

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Not even when Ronnie became addle-brained did he resort to this sort of thing.

Gotta love those rah, rah, GOP types.  Whether it’s Fox News’ Bill O’Rielly turning red in the face with outrage! when denouncing anybody who criticizes the president in a time of war as “unpatriotic” while Bush was in the White House, but has done nothing but criticize the Obama Administration himself since election night, to right wing boob Sarah Palin telling audience members that the president is a “charismatic guy with a teleprompter” waving her hands around while speaking, only to show that she’s written crib notes for her speech on her hand. 

Guess members of the GOP believe in guns and Jesus, but don’t believe in irony or hypocrisy.

Topics covered in her speech based on what was written in her hand and what she said ranged from reigning in spending (tax cuts), using coal and oil (energy), and Divine intervention (lift American spirits). 

I’m not making this sh*t up.

BTW: Is it just me, or does Gaylord Opryland sound like a karaoke bar frequented by drag queens doing Dolly Parton and Tammy Wynette numbers while line-dancing?

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That’s them on the near left.  Michaele and Tareq Salahi.  Apparently, the two Washington socialites weren’t on the guest list (oh, the shame) but got in anyway due to a Secret Service checkpoint which, per offical word from the Whitehouse, “did not follow proper procedure”... blah blah blah…they totally scammed they’re way in.  You just know the Republicans are all thinking…  “Hmmph.  This sort of thing would never have happened under our watch.”

Interestingly enough, and to the surprise of absolutely no one, Michaele is a rumoured contender to be one of Bravo’s upcoming Real Housewives of DC.  Who wants to bet this stunt all but guarantees her one of the five spots? 

Tareq is a polo junkie (the sport, not the clothing line) who founded America’s Polo Cup and is co-owner of a winery.

Congratulations Salahi’s!  Your 15 minutes have officially started.  What you do with your notoriety is now up to you.  Cue the countdown for the inevitable “shocking revelations” from former flings, friends, employees, and estranged family members through various media outlets in  5, 4, 3….

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