Taking yet another page right out of the “What To Do When Your Mistresses Keep Coming Forward And Your Wife’s About To Quit Your Ass” handbook, Sandra Bullock’s husband Jesse James has checked himself into a treatment facility in Tucson Arizona for sex addiction “personal issues”.

JJ’s spokesminion says “he realized that this time was crucial to help himself, help his family and help save his marriage.”

Pffffttt.

Word is Sandra Bullock, who’s been keeping a low profile through all this,  is standing her ground and planning on divorcing JJ.

Meanwhile, ho number five is supposedly about to make her tabloid debut, unless of course lawyer to gold digging skanks Gloria Allred manages to broker her a deal as well.

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Whoever she is.

Jesse James’ (aka  The Vanilla Gorilla, aka Tiger Woods Version 2.0) alleged fourth mistress will remain anonymous, at least until one of her “friends” sells her out to the Enquirer.

Ho #4, who’s described as a ”model and business woman”, (which just screams online porn star), seeing the sh*t storm that is now surrounding Bombshell and skanks two and three, took her proof and her story and went not to any of the tabloids, but to lawyer Gloria Allred.

Allred released a statement on Ho # 4′s behalf, telling Radar ”The woman has decided she will not tell her story”

Smart move.

Why settle for $30k  from a tabloid when you can probably get a significantly hire amount for keeping your mouth shut, if not your legs?  Provided you have a shark in your corner.  After all, it worked for Rachel (Faithless Hussy) Uchitel, allegedly to the tune of $3 million.

Guess this is the new business model for some enterprising young women. Have an affair with rich married man (preferably famous with something to lose), keep all documentation and evidence, sell to highest bidder or keep affair secret for right price, but only if deal brokered through a lawyer, otherwise it’s considered blackmail.

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This all seems very familiar somehow….is Jesse James the “new” Tiger Woods?

Alleged mistress number three has crawled out of whatever hole she resides in and is claiming that she hit it with JJ four times before calling it off.

Bridgette Daguerre (top right), claims to have 195 text messages from James that she says proves well….it proves nothing other than she was sent sext messages from someone named Vanilla Gorilla (it was totally him).

This comes one day after a stripper named Melissa Smith came forward also claiming to have had sexy-times with JJ, saying they had a two year affair that started about a year after he got married to Bullock.  Apparently, Missy is a bit of a hard ass, with arrests for assaulting a police officer last spring and a recent DUI on her record.  Sounds like the kind of girl you take home to mom, provided mom is a member of Hell’s Belles and lives in a trailer.

As for mistress numero uno, Bombshell McGee, she claims she did it all for her kids in order to somehow get money and a better life for them.  How nobel of her.

Somewhere out there, Tiger Woods is probably smiling, relieved that the man-hospotlight and public scrutiny finally seems to be shifitng on to someone else’s indiscretions.

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Looks like the first graduate of the Rachel Uchitel and Nicole Forester School of F*ckery has passed with flying colours.

Stefani Talbot a 25 year old stripper from Oregon has gone running to both the Enquirer and In Touch to talk about her affair with Matthew Fox (LOST).

According to Steph, “I was dancing onstage, and I made eye contact with him immediately. I got so excited when I thought about all the money I could make off of this if I played my cards right.  He asked me, ‘Why are you working in a place like this?’ I told him that I am a single mom and needed the money.”

That should have been Fox’s first clue to get away from her as fast as he could. 

Steph goes on to say that Fox didn’t have a wedding ring that she can remember or mention a wife or kids.  Apparently, protection wasn’t bothered with when they hooked up (cue possible pregnancy announcement when she burns through the money for the interviews with the Enquirer and In Touch).  She also says that he didn’t tell her “to keep it a secret or anything.”

Of course, Steph says she can prove all of this as she has text messages and voice-mails. 

Fos his part, Fox’s spokesminion says Steph is a lying liar who lies. 

Here’s the thing, if it’s lies, Fox should sue her ass for slander.  Even if it’s just to get an apology since the “poor single mother, trying to make ends meet” card will surely be played.   I’m sure they met.  I’m sure Talbot gave him a lap dance too.  They either screwed around or not. 

Either way, she probably tried to blackmail him and then went to the tabloids when that didn’t work out. 

Another possibility is Fox left a trail on purpose, wanting to get caught in order to get out of his marriage.  Sounds weird and convuloted, but maybe he was trying to drive a point home or have the decision taken away from him.

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Unbeliveable. 

Gloria Allred and one of the Skanky Ho’s that Tiger Woods was hitting it with (at this point it, the question should be more along the lines of “who hasn’t he been hitting it with?” as it would be easier) actually gave their own press conference while Tiger was giving his on the background behind them on a TV.

What a pair of leeches.

Crocodile tears flowed as Skaky Ho # Whatever (aka Joseyln James the porn star) boo-hoo-hooed her way through it when she realised no one was really paying attention to her and were all focused on the action behind her.  The Lesson here?  Never have a far more interesting subject matter (in her case that could include moldy wallpaper) than yourself in a room when giving a press conference. 

Skanky Ho # Whatever is also claiming that Tiger impregnated her twice and is demanding an apology.  For what?  Her totally failing in gold-digging?  Cue the countdown for a lawsuit of some sort as soon as she and Allerd can cook something up that won’t be immediately thrown out of court.

Clearly unfamilar with the concepts of irony or hypocrisy, Gloria Allred said “Today, this was not an apology.  It was a staged public relations stunt”.

Well, duh.

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I’d imagine so is she.

Behold the glamour that is Jon Gosselin’s cast off, would be famewhore Hailey Glassman on the cover of some free-be magazine for the lucky residents of New York. 

In Hailey’s intellectually stimulating interview, she continues to trash Jon, (like, let it go already) but since he’s her only claim to fame, she’s still playing the victim card.  Showing a total lack of irony, Hailey calls Jon a “textbook sociopath” and like a young teenage girl who puts out for a boyfriend only to realize it wasn’t really love, goes on ad nausem about Jon’s “tiny” penis, and how she thought he’d never cheat on her because of it.

Needless to say, her current, and quite possibly last boyfriend ever (if she has one) is probably wondering how she’ll respond once he dumps her ass as well.

As for her absolutely stunning ensemble, looks like J-Woww’s (Jersey Shore) clothing line has already launched.

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Remember the classy stripper and mother of two that claimed she had a one nighter with Josh Duhamel last fall when he was filming a movie in Atlanta? 

Well, Nicole Forrester is now claiming she’s pregnant with his child (almost four months after the fact).  Looks like someone’s already blown through the money she was initially paid by the Enquirer for her story and is looking for a new source of income, either from the tabloids or Duhamel himself. 

Forrester’s gone back to the Enquirer, telling them about the pregnancy and dropping the bombshell that she’s “95% certain” it’s Josh’s. 

Bitch, please.

If she is pregnant, I doubt very much she has any idea who the father is let alone it being Durhamel’s.  Even the Enquirer says this is highly unlikely as she originally confirmed they used protection during their alleged tryst. 

I still don’t buy they had any more contact than a lap dance.  There was a blind item floating around last fall that a TV and movie star was alleged to have had an affair but wasn’t suing as the reports were wrong this time and he didn’t want to draw attention to the others.  Coincidence?

We’re going to see more and more of this sort of thing in part to Faithless Hussy’s rumoured pay-off from Tiger Woods.  F*ckery is easy and potentialy lucrative.

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Looks like Faithless Hussy (aka Rachel Uchitel) has parlayed her notorioty as Tiger Woods’ mistress #1  into a job as a correspondent on Extra!

According to Page Six, Faithless Hussy “impressed producers” so much they offered her a job (so that’s what they’re calling it now?).  Anyway, Faithless Hussy will be covering new hot spots and nightlife, but won’t be talking about Tiger.  No kidding.  For $3 million, I’d never talk about him again either (Tiger, if your reading this, contact me).

Guess people who go to university or college for years to major in Communications or Broadcasting have it all wrong.  Become a skanky ho, have affairs with married men (the richer and more famous the better), tell friends about it that you know will skip off to the tabloids to rat you out, hire a barracuda of a lawyer, get paid a fortune to keep your mouth shut, and get a job most in that field would kill for. 

Now that’s career pathing.

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Cue the outrage!

In one of the most hilariously self-righteous acts of hyperbole I’ve ever heard of, one of the skanky ho’s that alleges she was playing with Tiger Woods’ putter has hired Gloria Allred (Faithless Hussy’s lawyer) to protest a series of golf balls with the various mistress’ faces painted on them.

Never one to turn down on opportunity to famewhore, Allred gave a press conference with porn star Josyln James, saying “Putting a woman’s face on a golf ball which a golfer may swing at with full force may increase the risk of harm to women. Playing a round of golf with these balls may leave marks resembling bruises on the face of the ball which may lead to inappropriate jokes about hitting women.”

The classy and articulate James added, “I have come forward today, because I feel that it is wrong for a golf ball to have my picture on it because golfers hit their golf balls with a lot of force.  As a victim of violence myself, it bothered me to think that someone would be standing with a dangerous club hitting a ball with my photo on it.”

Bitches, please.

There’s nothing funny about violence against women.  There is however, something hilarious about two famewhores using this issue to milk more press out of a two month old story trying to play the victim card.

Nice try, epic fail.

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People of Earth rejoice!

Showing remarkable restraint, maturity and thoughtfulness (sarcasm) Tila Tequila joined the ranks of the TwitterQuitters Miley Cyrus and Chris Brown and deleted her account yesterday.

Why?  Apparently because we’re all a bunch of hating haters who hate.  And Twitter‘s racist.  Or something.

Tila Tequila, who used Twitter to make the most outlandish claims, (the latest being she’s adopting Haitian orphans) to get attention, and try to pick fights with other celebrities, was probably told to cool it by none other than Joe Francis.  Word is he’s her new handler for all PR related issues (her old one quit and was last seen running through the streets screaming something about being “free at last”). 

Tila’s apparently still famewhoring by blogging on her website, in long, incoherent rants written all in caps. 

Trust me, we haven’t heard the last from this bat-sh*t crazy famewhore, not by a longshot.

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