Well!  Absolutely no one (meaning absolutley everyone) saw this one coming.

After hiding out in Costa Rica for the past few weeks and getting himself busted for gun possession, Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag have reconciled.  It was during Spencer’s all to brief ordeal (he was only held for a few hours) that the two supposedly reconciled.  We can all breath a sigh of relief now that their impending divorce is now “on hold”.

As for that sex tape that Spencer was trying to sell to Vivid Entertainment, there’s been no further info regarding it.  Meanwhile, that Playboy playmate that Heidi fooled around with for the sake of the camera is now in talks with Vivid to have the sex tape she made with her Oxycontin selling boyfriend Sam Jones III released.

As for Speidi, I’m sure they’ll find some way to get mentioned in the media again before too much time passes, although at this point, anything short of murder probably will only register as a blip.

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…that Spencer Pratt is shopping around for $5 million.

People have been questioning if the sex tape even exists or if this was just another attention seeking ploy (which seemed likely) with Spencer saying he was using the tape to blackmail Heidi into doing another reality show with him and to call off divorce proceedings, telling TMZ, “You cannot turn off the Speidi machine”.  Spencer says that Heidi just embrace all this, as both she and he are “reality stars, not serious actors. She can’t think she’s Naomi Watts. She’s a tad delusional.”

Heh.

Spencer supposedly tricked Heidi into meeting him in Costa Rica to hand over their dogs to her (why would you travel thousands of miles to hand over a pet when you both live in the same city?) where he gave her the ultimatum.  Oh noes! 

Now that Vivid Entertainment has confirmed it’s real, saying it could even surpass the Kim Kardashian sex tape, as it includes some girl on girl action between Heidi and Playboy playmate Karissa Shannon.  Karissa has warned he’ll sue if it ever is released.

Finally, Spencer’s protege, wanna be famewhore Emilio Masella (ex of Jersey Shore’s Snooki) told TMZ that he wishes he “did that with Snooki, but I’m still learning and wasn’t as smart as him”.

Now granted, Emilio Masella is probably as dumb as he looks, but you know the end of days are nigh when a wanna-be famewhore is looking up to Spencer Pratt as a role model.

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Oh, hell to the no!

One day after announcing he was writing a tell-all about theirmaybe fake relationship, comes news via the harbingers of doom at TMZ that Spender Pratt is in negotiations with Vivid Entertainment to sell a sex tape featuring himself and his soon to be ex-wife, Heidi Montag.

No word when it was shot (pre or post plastic surgery over-kill) or what Heidi thinks of all this.  Chances are this is just another ploy to get his name in the media (if so, well done), but if it’s for reals you just know that Spencer had Heidi sign some sort of release form. 

I’m going to install an “unsee” function into my computer (now if only I could install one into my brain).

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…From Itself?  Each other?  Not sure how your supposed to use these combined names that refer to two people when it comes to this sort of thing.  Anyway…

Citing irreconcilable differences, Heidi Montag filed for divorce from fellow famewhore and The Hills co-star Spencer Pratt yesterday afternoon.  Both have agreed to a timely dissolution of marriage in an out of court settlement.

Many thought the separation was a publicity stunt to create buzz for a new reality show Heidi was to start filming this summer.  However, Heidi has since dropped out of the project.

Either the pair are taking this stunt to the Nth degree, the seperation/divorce is actually legit, or the marriage itself was a stunt all along. 

Hmmmmmm.

Think about it.  With The Hills no longer in the picture for the pair (they were basically written out mid-way in the final season when they accused the producer of sexually harassing Heidi) there was no need to keep the pretense going as it had served it’s purpose.

Cue countdown for inevitable dating rumours now that Spei Heidi and Spencer are about to become single and on the prowl again.

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It’s been quite a day for endings.  First Tyra’s show ends it’s run, Gary Coleman shrugs off this mortal coil, and now this.

Unless this is a ploy for more tabloid covers (and these two famewhores are just shameless enough) TMZ is reporting that Heidi Montag has grown a pair and left her husband, Spencer Pratt.

 The two met on MTV’s fake reality show The Hills several years ago, when he was introduced as her boyfriend, and got married in 2008.  If news of the split is true, the writing was on the wall for some time.  Spencer’s reaction to all of Heidi’s surgery last fall was to throw his hands up in the air and run screaming from the room one of more resigned aquience than positive feedback.  This past spring, Heidi turned around and fired Spencer as her manager, which he had been for the past several years.  Awkward.

Speaking of Spencer, he’s supposedly becoming more and more obsessed with crystals (the rocky kind, not the methy kind) for their “positive energy” and some people are finally starting to question his sanity.  Too little, too late.

Heidi’s spokesminion tells TMZ that “Heidi is looking to move out due to all the fake bad press that Spencer controls. She’s tired of it and is looking for a place and wants to focus on her acting career.”

Guess Heidi’s taking news of not getting that part in Transformers 3 harder than we thought.

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Here’s a prediction, this will not end well.

After having a staggering 10 “procedures” in one day and walking around LA looking like a puffy blow up fem-bot, Heidi Montag-Pratt has given her manager husband the heave ho, opting to be managed by a psychic named Aiden Chase from Malibu.

Speaking to People, Heidi said, “After the incredible experiences I have had healing my life and truly connecting to my dreams with healer intuitive Aiden Chase, I have officially asked him to become my manager.  Having an intuitive psychic leading my team gives me an edge no one else has.  No longer is my husband the face of my business or managing my career, I am going to have Aiden Chase help manage my new life and career in a very different and positive way with light and love. The time for change is now. Never mix business and pleasure. We are no longer Speidi but Spencer and Heidi.”

I couldn’t make this stuff up if I tried (it’s also very hard to type laughing).

An interesting choice of words there, considering that Heidi’s face really isn’t her face any more either. 

Guess she wasn’t happy with the 600 or so copies of her debut album Superficial sold, or her husbands reaction to her new and ”improved” look.

Heidi says she is excited for her future and the “bright successes” coming her way, having now “cleared out all the negative energy” in her life.

Let the countdown to an affair/separation/divorce begin!

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Could this be the beginning of the end of Speidi? 

Spencer Pratt was uncharacteristically somewhat diplomatic over wife Heidi Montag’s plastic surgery in an interview with People Magazine.

Pratt, (normally boastful and in your face), was subdued (for him) in giving his opinions over his wife’s freakish transformation into a blow-up sex doll/Barbie hybrid.

“Anytime I hinted that it might be a little much or if I just asked if she was sure, I even felt like I was crossing lines.  I’m not in charge of what she does with any part of her body. I’m her husband – not her owner.  Everyone sees themselves differently when they look in the mirror … nobody truly understands how she feels except her. I may not be okay with things, but it’s not my call.  “Right after … it was the worst experience of my life. Nobody that loves a loved one should see that.”

It’s what he says and doesn’t say that’s most telling in this interview.  Pratt goes out of his way to clarify that he’s not happy with Montag’s decision (stopping just short of saying it freaks him out), but doesn’t refer to her as beautiful or still beautiful to him.  Hmmmm…sounds like Heidi’s gone to far for Spencer’s liking, and (pardon the crassness) but if he finds her hard to look at instead of looking at her and getting hard, this could become a major issue for the famewhoring pair. 

As for Heidi, she remains steadfast in her beliefs.  “At the end of the day (how I HATE that saying), we do share a same opinion.  It’s my body and I need to feel comfortable as a woman, as a person, and my inner beauty is always there and that’s what’s most important.”

Good to hear, cause she’s really busted up the outer beauty part of herself something awful.

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She looks like a Japanese animee character with triple double-D’s.

After announcing in an “exclusive” to People magazine last week that she was “addicted” to plastic surgery, Heidi Montag appeared on Good Morning America today, to shill her new album and address the growing backlash against her, saying she’s not “addicted”, or she would have had ten “actual surgeries”, and not “procedures”. 

Don’t you just love the games people play with semantics when they get called on their crap?

Apparently, the general consensus is that she now looks freaky (when the cast of Jersey Shore thinks your over the top, you know you’ve gone too far).

Even People magazine seems to be somewhat put out by her as well (guess the last issue didn’t sell as well as they hoped), saying on their website that Montag appears to be back-tracking on her prior claims to them.

Montag said in her interview she’d like a Barbie doll designed after her.  Funny, with her new face and body, it seems to be the other way around.

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Oh come on, you know you were curious. 

Heidi Montag, the famewhore with a delusional eye on a career as a pop-star, went and had 10 procedures done back in late November, leading her to say to People Magazine in their most recent issue that she is “addicted to plastic surgery”. 

As suspected, her procedures included botox, among other things. 

The result?  Ridiculous. 

She looks, well…completely interchangeable with all other blonde, surgically enhanced bimbos running around Hollywood.  Remember she’s had all this done and she’s 23 years old.

Note the second picture of her below from 2006.  She was cute.  Too bad so many in LA, Montag included are convinced “cute” just won’t cut it.

As for the drama at her house the other night involving police, (they were called in when someone with their face covered was seen on the property) it was likely Montag herself, either creating a media storm and involving the police (hasn’t she heard of the Heene family?) or covering herself until the issue of People was released.  Chances are they probably paid a hefty sum for their “exclusive” and she may have been under strict instructions not to be photographed until the issue was released today.

For Montag, that would hurt more than any procedure she’s put herself through. 

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