His spokesminion said he would do it and now he has.

Becks is suing InTouch Magazine over a story that said he paid a hooker $10 grand each time she tricked with him (five times in total) back in 2007.

The suit was filed in Los Angeles Superior Court late Friday alleging libel, slander, and “intentional inflection of emotional distress”.  Another suit has been filed in Germany, where the tabloid’s parent corporation is located.  Becks is also seeking a front page apology from the tabloid and has hired private investigators to track down the hooker who sold her story to the magazine, Irma Nici, so she can be served with a $7.9 million lawsuit for damages (she’s apparently gone into hiding in New York City).

If nothing else, here’s hoping his suit helps stem the crass tide of Rachel Uchitel wanna-bes peering out from magazine covers.

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According to some 26 year old hooker that sold her story to In Touch Weekly, he did back in 2007.

Irma Nici says that she played with Becks personal soccer balls five separate times three years ago and was paid $10 grand a piece for services rendered and one assumes, her silence.    

Irma says Becks was a 7.5 as a lover (when I first read that, I thought it meant something else entirely), and one time kind of burned himself when he used perfumed hand lotion to grease himself up, if you know what I mean and I think that you do.

Not satisfied with telling tales out of school, Irma also claims Becks confided in her, saying that he liked Posh better when she wasn’t quite as skinny and that “he is more of a butt man than a breast man”. 

Oh.  Snap.  

Meanwhile, Posh and Becks have gone on the defensive, having their spokesminion contact US Magazine to issue a denial saying that the hooker, InTouch, and the story are all full of BS. 

Legal action is also being apparently being taken as well.  Isn’t that what they all say or threaten to do?  If (and that’s a major “if” given Beck’s history) the story’s not true, by all means they should sue the magazine and go after the hooker while they’re at it.  If the story is true, well, guess the next move is Posh’s to make isn’t it?

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This does not bode well.

When the psyophant of the tabloids says there may be trouble in paradise, chances are there’s at least a kernel of truth to some of the rumours floating around.

Of course, People doesn’t come right out and say Ashton is f*cking around on Demi, leaving that to the latest issue of Star, (which claims that 21 year old Rachel Uchitel wanna-be has now provided them with “proof” of her hook-up in the form of text messages that are supposedly from Ashton) opting instead to go with the more gentle approach of saying the marriage is under strain because of the rumours.

Radar has also entered the fray, saying that this Brittney Jones character (aka Rachel Uchitel wanna-be) has already hired a publicist and a manager and that she comes from a “family of gold-diggers”.  Sounds like someone plans on launching a career in the entertainment industry based on a scandal.

Give it til early next week and Gloria Allred will be probably be involved in this mess too.

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Apparently, it’s been a slow news week, so People stuck Kate on their cover in a bikini and interviewed her to answer those burning questions that have kept us all awake at night (sarcasm) such as, “Did she have work done?” (Botox and a boob job, although Kate will  probably deny it.)  “Who the hell cares?” (No one with a life), and “Why is this woman still famous?” (An unsolveable mystery).

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The big question is why?

Normally I don’t pay attention to the bottom feeding tabloids, as their stories are usually about as real as an episode of The Hills.  However, the response from the people involved with the last story about them seems to have prompted Star Magazine to come up with a full size cover story this time around. 

This is going to get good, I can tell.

Earlier in the month, Star Magazine reported that some anonymous eyewitness saw Ashton Kutcher stepping out on Demi Moore with a blonde piece, having a full make-out session of the bathroom of a restaurant/club in LA.  Highly unlikely, right?

Ashton got on his Twitter account, denying the whole thing and alluding a lawsuit might be in the works.  Then Demi got in on the act, echoing his Tweets and posting a picture of herself in a bikini as if to ask “who in their right mind would step out on this?”

Sidenote – to quote Bill Maher, “men want new sex (that is, sex with new people) the way women want new shoes” (except for us gays, who want both).  Sure you have a perfectly good pair at home that will fulfill your needs, but anyone who’s taken psychology or economics will tell you wants are stronger than needs.  Just sayin…

Anyway…back on topic.   Guess Ashton’s lawyer didn’t agree as there’s been no word of a lawsuit (you just know TMZ would be on that the moment papers are filed).  Now it looks like Star has taken this as either a sign of weakness or open season on Demi and Ashton’s relationship, with a new cover story saying Ashton stepped out on Demi with yet another woman, some 21 year old skank that says they did the deed in the couple’s living room.  Classy.

As they say, the ball is in Ashton and Demi’s court now.

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Well! I for one, am shocked and appalled.

A guy going by the name Robert Randolph has supposedly written a tell all book all about the “secret gay spa culture” in Hollywood (celebs going to bathhouses in the LA area for sexy times with other guys) in which he names names. 

Rob told The National Enquirer  that he ran into John Travolta several times over the years, saying, “I met John in 1998, after he had married Kelly. I believe the marriage is a total fraud because John is totally into guys and has been having sex with them behind Kelly’s back for years. He came on to me a number of times. I always turned him down. But there was always some guy who was willing to have sex with him. And John didn’t stop cheating on Kelly after either of their children was born. John’s a cheating dog. It’s just been wrong, because his wife seems like such a sweet woman.”

Rob also says that Travolata “ blatantly cruises guys, and doesn’t seem to care who sees him. I saw him with his lover and he couldn’t get enough. And when the details emerge, he’s gonna make Tiger Woods look like a boy scout.” Travolta’s “secret gay life is one of Hollywood’s worst kept secrets.”

Robert passed a lie detector test the folks at the Enquirer gave him so you know it must be totally true (ahem).  But!  There seems to be a lack of, shall we say, information about this book anywhere except for a rather amateurish looking website.

Could Robert be trying to pull a Rachel Uchitel/Tiger Woods type move on John Travolta?  Go to Enquirer.  Allude to knowing “things”.  Lawyer up.  Get payout? 

So far, there’s been no response from the Travolta’s camp. 

Stay tuned…

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A short while ago it was announced that Halle Berry and her baby daddy, Gabriel Aubry were parting ways.  Apparently, Gabriel just wasn’t feeling “it” anymore, their age difference was becoming an issue, etc, etc.

All things considered, the split was amicable (at least publicly).  They’re sharing  custody of their kid, he’s getting the house they purchased in Montreal, everyone seemed to be handling it with some maturity, class, and dignity.

Then story after story started to be published in the tabloids and gossip sites, all credited to anonymous sources close to the pair.  Of course.

He’s thinking of suing for full custody, she called him a “loser” and claimed he didn’t pull his weight, he wanted her to have another kid, she was the one who called it off, he probably cheated, she’s already moved on.  It’s exhausting trying to keep up, as it’s been going non-stop since the pair confirmed the split about a week ago.

Until one or the other’s spokesminion comes out with a statement or something concrete happens that’s not from one of these “sources”, take anything more you read about this with a grain of salt. 

I love some good dirt as much as the next person, but I don’t think there’s much more to see here than what we’ve already been told.  Time will tell.

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Well, what do you know?  Faithless Hussy wasn’t the mistress that tried to shake down David Boreanaz after all.  Apparently he copped to the affair with Faithless Hussy to his wife previously, the as yet unnamed mistress (Mystery Ho until further notice) is the one that all the fuss is about.

After paying Mystery Ho twice to keep her mouth shut, David balked at paying her again when she apparently requested a six figure payout through her lawyer, Gloria Allred (who also happens to rep Faithless Hussy).  David went to his lawyer Marty Singer instead, going on to spill the beans to People.  

However, it’s turning into a bit of  a “he said/she said” scenario, as Gloria Allred alleges that David had his lawyer contact Mystery Ho first, telling Radar ”Marty Singer attempted to contact a woman who had a romantic relationship with David Boreanaz. She then retained me. (This woman was not Rachel Uchitel.) I then contacted Mr. Singer on her behalf to find out why Mr. Singer was calling her. We discussed the possible resolution of my client’s legal claims against Mr. Boreanaz by mediation. My client has not told her story to the press, but now that Mr. Boreanaz is attacking her she has decided to tell the story of their relationship, so that the truth will come out. This baseless attack by David Boreanaz and his highly paid legal mouth piece in an apparent effort to divert attention from his client’s extramarital infidelity will not succeed. If they think that I or my client will be intimidated they are wrong.”

Oh please….

Mystery Ho and Gloria better hurry, as details continue to leak out the asking price they can get from the tabloids for her side of the story is decreasing rapidly. 

As for Faithless Hussy, she’s supposedly coming back from Mexico today or tomorrow to hold a press conference, totally P.O.’d that her reputation has again been sullied by the media, paradigm of virtue and wholesome behaviour that she is.

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Remember last fall when Star Magazine claimed that David Boreanaz had an affair with Tiger Wood’s number one skanky ho and professional gold-digger, Rachel Uchitel (aka Faithless Hussy)?

Well, guess who just went to People to lay it all out on the line (hint, it wasn’t Faithless Hussy) in a statement?

“Our marriage has been tainted with my infidelities. I was associated with a woman who I was involved with and had a relationship with. She asked for money. I felt as though I was being blackmailed or there was some sort of extortion.”

“I just want to be open and honest. I was irresponsible. We’re working on our marriage. We’re working on repairing what has been damaged so badly.”

Although David doesn’t actually name names, according to Radar, the woman in question was Faithless Hussy, while TMZ says that the lawyer for the unnamed ho in question is Gloria Allred.  Shocking, I know.  

Apparently, the David and Faithless hussy hooked up two or three times, then David, for whatever reason, gave her a chunk of money, but she surprisingly wanted more.  Not to be accused or charged with an out and out extortion attempt, Faithless Hussy had her lawyer Gloria Allred call up David’s legal team, requesting six figures.  David went to People instead.

Either Gloria charges a lot for her services, or Faithless Hussy is already trying to sublement the money she supposedly got out of Tiger Woods.  Cue the countdown to Faithless Hussy’s side of the story via Gloria Allred any time now.

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The good news?  It’s neither a has-been or a famewhore.   The bad news?  You’ve probably never heard of her.

Chely Wright is a country music star who also just happens to have a new album called Lifted Off The Ground as well as a memoir, Like Me being released this week. 

It’s all about cross-promotion these days.

Her book gives insight on her experiences living as a closeted lesbian in the country music sub-culture, which tends to be kind of conservative (when they’re not singing about bar fights, random hook-ups, cheatin’ spouses and vandalizing the cars of douchebags) in it’s views, especially when it comes to homosexuality.  

While Chely deserves props for being herself and no longer keeping things on the down low, I can’t help but be a little under-whelmed with her announcement.  I was sort of hoping it might be someone…bigger. 

That being said, today is only May 3rd.  Does this mean there’s someone else coming out May 5th that no one knows about yet?

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