Sorry, couldn’t resist.

Filming has just started on K-Town, described as a Asian-American version of Jersey Shore (oh dear Lord, why? WHY???!) that will focus on 8 “roomates” doing in LA’s Korea Town what our favorite group of juiced up Guideos and Guidettes did just a few short months ago (make total asses of themselves on TV).

The cast (from left to right) includes Young Lee, Jennifer Field, Joe Cha, Scarlet Chan, Violet Kim, Peter Le (rumoured to be a porn star, and K-Town’s version of The Situation), Steve Kim, and Jasmine Chang.

Although the series hasn’t been picked up by a network as of yet, it’s probably only a matter of time.  Besides, we need more reality television (insert eyeroll), and MTV needs to find something to fill the void left by The Hills.

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With yet another tape just being released by the folks over at Radar (how long before they sell them as a series?) of Mel huffing and puffing in between screaming and swearing at Oksana over something or other, and a statement at People regarding Mad Mel (“he’s doing as well as can be expected”), the lines in this drama are being drawn and people are starting to take sides.

Whoopi Goldberg was taken to task for having the audacity to suggest that knowing Mel, in her opinion, she doesn’t think he’s a racist on The View Monday, and then suggesting that Oksana’s motives might be monetary yesterday. 

SHOCKING!  

Never mind the fact that as a woman of color that you’d think Whoopi would be able to ascertain for herself if Mel is a racist (as she pointed out this morning), or that when we get mad at others and are by ourselves (or with our significant other) we might use words we’d never say in the company of those who could get offended by them. 

People say dumb things sometimes, and some people (like racists) say dumb things quite frequently.

As for Mad Mel, he supposedly went on the record some time ago that he’s bi-polar and manic depressive (never mind a mean and violent drunk), so while this doesn’t excuse his behavior, it certainly helps explain some of it. 

 The fact of the matter is couples fight sometimes (although violence is never excusable).  Having tapes of portions of conversations released without getting the benefit of the context means people are weighing in on a situation without all the relevant information. 

Cue countdown for Mad Mel’s spokesminion to release a statement saying that he’s going to rehab and seeking professional help.

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HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

This just made my morning. 

According to Radar, even though she was one of the higher profile celebrities (which says it all) for the current season of Dr Drew’s infamous exersise in schadenfreude, word is the good Doctor realized that Tila’s main problems are that  (A) she’s addicted to attention and (B) is bat-sh*t crazy.

Apparently, the final straw for the good doctor was when Tila blamed her alter-ego “Jane” for cutting and burning her arms.  Realizing he was in way over his head with this one, Dr Drew had her tossed out, free to terrorize LA once again with her famewhoring shenanigans.

No word if how or if this will affect production of Celebrity Rehab, or if they plan on replacing Tila with a less trainwrecky trainwreck.

Cue countdown for one of Tila’s patented online tirades against Dr Drew in 5…4…3…

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Battered but not bowed!  Is there anything worse than a summer cold (except maybe when it turns into the flu)?  But enough about my probs…

Lindsay’s are just beginning.  Since new info about Linds pops up online every couple of hours, I thought I’d round up what’s been happening in the past 24.

After the verdict, Lindsay bailed on her own birthday bash, instead opting to stay at home, where she was visited by Kim Kardashian, clearly feeling that she hadn’t been mentioned in the news enough lately, and chose this as her way of inserting herself into the picture.  This woman needs to write a book on famewhoring.  She’s a master at it.

Apparently, Linds plans to appeal the sentence of  90 days in jail followed by madatory 90 days in rehab handed down to her by Judge Marsha Revel earlier this week.

However, it’ll be a different council as Lind’s lawyer quit that bitch yesterday.  Whether it was the “f*ck u” painted on Lindsay’s middle fingernail, her statement that “I’m not going to jail” afterwards, her plans to appeal, or the fact that she probably has no real means to pay her legal fees remains unclear.  Lindsay’s new lawyer is just that, having passed the bar exam only eight months ago.  What’s that old saying?  You only get what you pay for? 

Speaking of paying for things…Lindsay is well aware that she’s going to be a hot commodity on the interview circuit once she’s sprung from the clink.  Word is she’s not even considering any interview requests unless they cough up at least a cool $1 million.  You just know she’ll totally get it.  Why is beyond me since everyone knows everything, and her parents won’t charge nearly that much to be interviewed, which leads us to….

Stage mother extraordinaire and Carvel ice cream grifter Dina Lohan will be appearing on  Entertainment Tonight in an “exclusive” (insert eyeroll) segment this evening where she’ll bitch about Lindsay’s unfair treatment at the hands of the legal system.  Oh, boo hoo! 

Meanwhile, her useless father Michael has also been busy making the rounds on the tabloid television circuit, blaming Dina for everything, all the while expressing concern for Lindsay (who he has no trouble selling out for a cheque everytime he can).

Finally, that now infamous ”f*ck u” painted on her middle finger was of course a joke, according to Lindsay, clearly worried that she could be found in contempt of court now that her little message to the Judge has been made public.  

Whew.  I’m exhauseted typing all that out.

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Like once wasn’t enough?

According to  The NY Post, stage mother extraordinaire Dina Lohan is shopping around a new reality TV show that focuses on the entire Lohan family (except for ex-husband Michael, natch).

Dina says that filming has already begun, with cameras following around Lohan family members (which will include Lindsay, her schedule permitting) as they go about their daily routines.  Dina also says that she’s “discussing a deal with a major network”.

Pffffft.  Sure she is.

Dina’s last attempt at reality TV, E!‘s Living Lohan, got cancelled after just nine episodes in 2008.  Lindsay didn’t particiapte at all, so puiblic interest in the series was so-so to begin with (Dina originally promised E! that Lindsay would be part of it).  An exercise in tedium,  the only thing accomplished was to demonstrate what a talentless, entitled brat youngest daughter Ali is, pretty much deep-sixing any chance she had of breaking into show business (the series’ main focus).

Can’t see how this new show of Dina’s will get picked up (or be any more successful than the last one if it does), but with Lindsay’s supposed guaranteed involvement this time, it might find an audience.

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…World falls off axis.

Giving her bragging rights (trust, she will about this) Lindsay’s pee pee test came back clean for sweet, sweet, booze after her SCRAM device went off at an MTV Movie Award after party.

Lindsay’s lawyer says her client doesn’t know what triggered it.  Dina Lohan had said someone had spelt a drink on Linds at the party, while Lindsay got herself interviewed by Star Magazine to bitch about all the lies that have been told about her and how it’s hurting her career. 

What?

Either her SCRAM anklet is on the fritz or Lindsay’s figured out a way to over-ride it and pass her tests.  Do they do body cavity searches before she goes into the washroom to do her business?  If not, they way want to start.

Lindsay’s court date for parole violation is July 6th.

UPDATE – Not so fast!  Check this update from Radar that says Lindsay’s “alcohol level ranged from .03 to .04 from midnight to 3 a.m on June 6, during the hours after the MTV awards.” According to a source close to the situation: “There was absolutely no doubt that Lindsay was drinking, and the report that the alcohol monitoring service provided to Judge Revel was very detailed and extremely reliable. The (SCRAM) report also says that Lohan’s SCRAM bracelet had indeed been tampered with, and this is one of the reasons that Judge Revel determined that Lindsay violated terns of her bail.”

Ooooo… the plot thickens (not really)!

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Guess Amy Winehouse’s latest stint in re-hab was just a quick over the weekend dry out and not a 28 day stint.  I had no idea they did those.  You just know there’s more to this than a short stint in rehab, but so far no one’s talking.  Boo.

The pearl of Camden was seen out and about in London last night looking coherent and fresh as a daisy (for Amy) as she stepped out with boyfriend Reg Traviss.

Is it just me, or do her boobs look bigger now?

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For the second time in four months, one of Charlie Sheen’s cars has allegedly been stolen and driven off a cliff near his home.

Apparently cops found his car at the bottom of a cliff off Mulholland Drive around 3am this morning.  Charlie swears that he know nothing about this as the last time he saw his car was when he left it in his driveway the previous afternoon with the keys in the ignition (insert eyeroll).

The police are thinking something about this smells to high heaven.  Word is they’re going to be reviewing the security footage from Charlie’s gated community in Sherman Oaks to see if they can spot who was driving the car.

Of course, there are all sorts of theories floating around today about who’s behind this, including Brooke Mueller (his coke-head ex wife), Denise Richards (the bitter ex-first wife), Charlie himself (crashing the car while DUI and leaving the scene), or Charlie’s drug dealer.   

Of course there is one other possibilty (as out there as it is).  Suicide.  If Charlie Sheen were riding you every day, wouldn’t you want to end it all too?

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Once more into the breach, dear friends…

According to that bastion of journalistic integrity, UK style, The Sun   (insert cut-eye) is claiming the pearl of Camden herself, Amy Winehouse, has gone back to rehab for the umpteenth time at the insistence of her new boyfriend Reg Traviss (Amy gave on again off again ex-husband Blake the heave-ho at some point over the past couple of months).

Apparently, Reg told Amy she needed to sober up or he was going to quit her ass.  Since Amy is in lurrrrrrrrrve with Reg now, she checked herself in over the weekend to go through yet another round.

No word how this will affect Amy’s long awaited and oft delayed follow up album to Back In Black (as if that’s ever going to happen at this point).

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Great news for fans of schadenfreude and trainwreck TV masquerading as human interest television. 

Looks like Dr Drew Pinsky has found several more desperate has-beens to join Tila Tequila for Celebrity Rehab 4: It Was This Or Financial Ruin.  At this rate, production on the show should now start sometime this summer.

So who are the hapless famewhores lucky patients that will be joining Tila for treatment so far?

Jason Wahler

Where you know him from – First onLaguna Beach then on the first season of The Hills as Lauren Conrad’s slightly Neanderthal like (but still somewhat hot) boyfriend.

What’s he been doing since? - Nothing really.  Except getting drunk and thrown into jail on a pseudo regular basis for disorderly conduct including getting into fights.

Reason for rehab – He’s a violent drunk.

Jason (Gummie Bear) Davis

Where do you know him from? – The big brother of Brandon (Greasy Bear) Davis and heir to an oil fortune.  Was recently on Millionaire Matchmaker.

What’s he been doing since?  Since when?  He’s famous for being famous, being a slob, and generally making an ass out of himself when drunk or high, which is often.

Reason for rehab? – Booze and heroin.  

Shauna Sand

Where do you know her from? – A Playboycenterfold who was once maried to Lorenzo Lamas.  Also deflowered Chace Crawford.  Recently released a sex tape.  No one cared.

What’s she been doing since? – See above.

Reason for rehab? – No word.  Plastic surgery and tanning maybe?

Bonnie Pointer

Where do you know her from? – The Pointer Sisters

What’s she been doing since? – Apparently cashing in her royalty checks and living the high life, so to speak.  

Reason for rehab? – Shoving anything and everything powdery up her nose.

There you have it.  Dr Drew has five patients to “help” on his show.  All he needs now is just another three to five, and the camera’s can start rolling.

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