Keifer Sutherland, the 43 year old star of 24 who has a penchant for attacking Christmas trees and other things when drunk, got himself into trouble Thursday night in the UK.

Apparently, Keifer got dragged out of a strip club in London in a headlock by security shirtless, incoherant, and bombed out of his mind around 3:30 am.  Word is that the actor was becoming a little too excitable for the establishments liking, so they escorted him out.  Eventually, he stumbled back to his hotel arriving about a half hour later.

Keifer’s just lucky he wasn’t arrested again.  In 2007, he spent 48 days behind bars for a DUI, and last year was invloved in a head butting incident with a male fashion designer and Brooke Shields.

Weird.

.

Tweet This Post

Even when they have no money to do so.

Everyone’s favorite former actress and current trainwreck, Lindsay Lohan was supposed to give her deposition the other day in court for a lawsuit stemming from a 2007 “incident” where she went on an booze fueled car chase with three people stuck in the back seat, wondering at the time if this was going to be “it”.

Apparently, Linds showed up some 90 minutes late, didn’t even bother getting out of her car, and let the plaintiff’s lawyers know she could only spare them a couple of hours of her time since she’s so busy (they had wanted her to make herself available all day). 

Lindsay was told to forget it since she couldn’t be bothered, the plaintiff’s lawyers obviously hoping for a either an immediate judgement against the defendant or a rescheduling (good luck with that given who their dealing with).

Lindsay was next seen in Beverly Hills a short time later, shopping up a storm.  That should go down well if and when they finally get her into court.

Can’t wait to see what happens when she has to face that judge who’s in charge of her probation case to give a progress report.

Tweet This Post

“> 

Amid allegations that Whitney’s been hitting the pipe (again) the singer delayed the start of the European leg of her world tour due to “a respiratory infection” and allergies.

When Whitney started her tour in Birmingham Tuedsay night, the general concensus from audience members of the concert afterwards was that it was horrendous trainwreck (see above video).

Whitney took a twenty minute break after being on stage for 20 minutes, during which back up singers performed For The Love of You and Queen Of The Night, then a pre-recorded vdeo montage of One Moment In Time was played while the audience got more annoyed.

At $200 a ticket, I’d be all “Sing bitch” myself.

When Whitney came back out, she gave her mea culpa, saying, “I head you got mad. Your a little pissed off.  I understand. However, I thought you would enjoy the montage. I humble myself and thank you for being so good to me over the years. Well, I’m here now and have even changed my clothes”.

Sony has gone into spin mode, sending out an e-mail singing Whitney’s praises.  Have they heard her recently?

Tweet This Post

Amy Winehouse is in the news again.

The former singer (face it, until Amy eventually releases new material, she’s now more famous for her antics) was admitted to a hospital over the weekend experiencing chest pains from her 32D breast implants.

This isn’t the first time her bodacious ta-tas have given her trouble.  Back in November, she had to go for reconstructive surgery when one of the implants apparently sprung a leak about a month after getting them.

Word is Amy is waiting her hear from her doctors and may have to have her implants removed.  You know it’s serious when Amy decides to forgoe partying and making a spectacle out of herself on the weekend.

.

.

.

Tweet This Post

Apparently there’s a reason that the second season of Jersey Shore is going back to it’s namesake and not staying in South Beach, Miami for the second season.  According to Page Six, the city hasn’t exactly embraced the cast and crew’s presence.

Word is Snookie, The Situation, J-Woww, et all have been denied entry at various Miami hotspots including The W Hotel, Mondrian, The Delano and The Shore Club. 

Miami prides itself on being thought of as somewhat chic (CSI:Miami notwithstanding), so a bunch of “juiced up Guido’s” with a reputation for getting into fights and causing trouble is probably the last thing a lot of establishments want to be associated with, not to mention the inconvenience a camera crew can cause.

Miami’s loss (if you can really call it that) may be Seaside Height’s gain as the New Jersey town is supposedly reaping the benefits of the show being filmed there, but what happens when the inevitable backlash begins?

Tweet This Post

At least that’s the tentative title.

Deciding that Italian Americans have suffered enough shouldn’t have all the fun with being represented by a bunch of douchebags on Jersey Shore, 495 Productions is now turning it’s eye to Persian-Americans. 

Look a casting call!

“Two thousand years ago the Persian Empire ruled the ancient world…but they didn’t have your soundtrack, your style, or your swagger!  Today there’s a new Persian empire growing right here in L.A. and it’s ready to conquer the world all over again. It’s a bad-ass new dynasty where exotic beauty and wild style dominates the sexiest nightlife, exclusive venues and hottest beaches the modern world has to offer.

You’ve got the means, the money, and the motivation to cut through the velvet rope and rule the VIP! For you life is all about Gucci, Gabbana, Cavalli and Cristal. From BMWs and Bugatis, to Mercedes and Movado and money is no object. You live a lifestyle most people only dream of. In your world, nothing is out of reach, and though you are surrounded by the jealous, the posers and the haters, one thing’s for sure…once you go Persian, there is no other version!

Time to show the world that being Persian-American is about living the true American dream…a lifestyle most people only wish they could. So if you are at least 21 years old, appear younger than thirty and are outrageous, outspoken and a proud Persian-American, then Doron Ofir Casting and 495 Productions, the team who brought you Jersey Shore, are looking for you!  Casting is already underway don’t miss your chance to join this A-list. Do you reign over the most exclusive spots in the city? Do you use your exotic appeal to get anything or anyone you desire?? Prove it!

Send your NAME, AGE, 2 PICS, PHONE NUMBER and WHY we should pick you to PersianVersionCasting@gmail.com ”

Shouldn’t dismiss this clear message to sociopaths of Persian heritage too quickly.  After all,  “Nice and normal” may be what we all inspire to achieve, but it’s also extremely boring to watch. Can’t wait to see who (or what) responds in answer to that casting call, and what sort of trainwreck eventually makes it onto the boob-tube. 

In other Jersey Shore related news, turns out only part of the new season is going to be filmed in Miami.  Production will return to Jersey later this spring, with the second season staring in July.

Tweet This Post

What is she, high?

Oh, wait….

To celebrate the start of the long weekend after a busy week of…well, not sure exactly….maybe paying off the $23 000 in back rent she apparently owed,  Lindsay Lohan was photographed out last night at some club in LA where, big surprise, she fell over (a tippsy octogenarian with motor control issues has more coordination) only this time no cacti were harmed.

Of course, this being Lindsay, it was the paps fault.  It’s always the paps fault.  They’ve become Lindsay’s boogeyman of choice as an excuse for anything that happens to her.  Naturally, angry, paranoid, cracked out, Tweets followed shortly after her latest nose dive.

@ElectraAvellan see how embaressing it is when paps push you into a fall w/FENDIS ON! Again to me? And NOW YOU?sober sally’s take a timber
about 6 hours ago via UberTwitter

 Security @Voyeur nightclub in LA just set me up&paid off paparazzi to not let me in the back door and come to take photos of me in the back
about 6 hours ago via UberTwitter

Just one thing-i came to PICK UP MY FRIEND @electraavellan from the back and NOT even go into the club! Yet- I get sold out by guys that
about 6 hours ago via UberTwitter

By guys that I treat with respect and kindness…… They got paid off to let paparazzi make me look like I was distraught and a mess, when
about 6 hours ago via UberTwitter

I was just waiting for my friend at the back door…… Worse part is, my friends who run the club were a part of the set-up as well. Why?
about 6 hours ago via UberTwitter

She asks why?  Why not?   Instead of staying home, laying off the substances, and keeping a low profile, she clearly brings it on herself as a hard core party girl, drama queen, and attention seeker.

It’s amazing no one’s called a 5150 (the code used to haul a person in for a three day mandatory psychiatric evaluation when they appear to be a danger to themselves or others) on her ass yet. 

Then again, the weekend is still young.

Tweet This Post

“> 

Yeah, yeah,  it’s completely contrived, wretched, and probably the least “real” of all reality TV that’s not contest based, but like a true trainwreck how can you not be transfixed?

I propose a new TV watching drinking game.  Everyone has to take a shot of tequila when the plastic trantastic mess that is now Heidi Montag actually manages to make a facial expression.

Tweet This Post

Looks like the Charlie Sheen’s sit-com might be getting a new name when it comes back for an 8th season.

 People.com is reporting that Charlie is ready to quit that bitch once he’s finished filming later this month.  Charlie’s spokesminion would only confirm that his contract goes through til the end of this 7th season.  Sounds more like standard Hollywood move to get a big pay raise (he’s probably going to be paying alimony by the end of the year, not to mention all sorts of legal bills).

The actor, who’s currently paid $900 000 per episode for basically playing himself, recently returned to work last month with a sober coach following the aftermath from a Christmas blowout in Colorado with his wife that ended with his arrest for domestic violence.  The pair were said to have a major case of the drunks when the police showed up, and Child Protection Services became involved as well.

Charlie and Brooke have both since separately entered treatment programs for drugs and alcohol on an out patient basis. 

Charlie’s trial begins July 21

Tweet This Post

Wasn’t this a joke on WKRP in Cincinnati with the station owner mistaking coke for foot powder?  Maybe Lindsay was trying to give her nostrils a break, or did she just over do it with the talcum powder before slipping on a pair of pumps?

Father Michael will be holding a press conference today to talk about how worried he is about his daughter and continues to blame everything on mother Dina.  He’s about a third right. 

Cue the countdown for the inevitable 5150 (mandatory psych evaluation) put out on Lindsay any day now  5…4…3…

Tweet This Post