Critics loved it. Viewers ignored it.  So Fox moth-balled it.

Lone Star, a drama about a con-man living a double life in Texas, failed to make much of splash when it debuted two weeks ago.  Although it’s show-runner, Kyle Killen, made a public appeal for more people to tune in, viewership actually dropped from about 4.1 million to about 3.2 for the second (and one assumes last) episode to air.

The show was hailed as one of those nuanced character driven ensembles that seem to flourish on cable, but get sent to a quick death on network television, which (lets face it), tends to cater to the lowest common denominator.

Here’s hoping star James Wolk (above) gets another gig soon, he’s kind of  handsome in a generic way, even though he sort of has date rapey eyes.

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Ooooo – awkward. 

Host Sarah Murdoch (yes, of those Murdochs) announced the wrong girl had won cyle six of ANTM last night on national TV.

The host and both the actual winner, Amanda Ware, as well as the runner up,Kelsey Martinovich handled the whole thing with just the right amount of good humour, professionalism, and humility. 

Kelsey actually had to reassure Sarah she was fine with the decision, repeatedly telling the distressed host she was fine and all right.  

Can you just imagine this going down on the US version?  Miss J would probably faint, Andre Leon Talley would develop the vapours, Jay Manuel would run screaming from the set, and Tyra would undoubtedly try to make it all about her.  The contestants involved would both probably try to sue, citing emotional distress and embarrassment. 

Amanda gets $20 ooo, a trip to New York to meet with Elite Models and an eight page spread in Harper’s Bazaar Australia.  Kelsey, for her troubles and grace under pressure, will be getting $25 000 as well as a trip to New York City.  Not a bad consolation prize.

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The mileage both Katy and the producers of Sesame Street are getting out of that boobalicousand subsequently banned segment she shot with Elmo singing her hit Hot and Cold is unreal.

Last night, Saturday Night Live kicked off it’s 36thseason with excastmember Amy Poehler as host and Katy Perry as the musical guest. 

Katy appeared in the above skit of Bronx Beat, playing a bouncy, sixteen year old public library volunteer who’s filled out over the summer, and just happens to be wearing an Elmo t-shirt that looks like it’s about to split from the strain.

Hilarity ensues.

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Remember that post the other day about Katy Perry singing “Hot & Cold” with an apparently traumatized Elmo?

Well the fuddy-duddies out there got their collective tits (pun intended) into a knot over Katy’s dress, even though it didn’t show as much boobage as originally thought due to flesh coloured mesh. 

Yeah, I don’t get it either.  Why cover up your boobs in the first place if your going to make it look like your not?  Weird (not to mention pointless).

Long story short, the producers took heed of parents concerns and won’t show the clip after all.  Instead, they’re going to have Ernie and Bert sing “I Feel Pretty” with Adam Lambert while making out with him.

Ok, I totally made that last part up.

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Nobody puts Baby (or her old nose) in the corner!

Jennifer Grey (after a brief meltdown regarding Patrick Swayze) showed the over contestants how it’s done with partner Derek Hough.  Girl got moves. 

Bristol Palin surprisingly didn’t totally suck and scored three 6′s from the judges.  Obviously witchcraft was involved in this.  Mother Sarah was a no show in the audience as well.  Coincidence?  I think not.

Rounding out the bottom three last night with scores of 15 each were Margaret Cho (who’s routine verged on parody it was so bad), Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino (he had the least amount of time to rehearse, but the Saturday Night Fever-esque moves should stay in the 70′s), and The Hoff (as one judge put it, “It’s never too early to panic.”)

Who gets the boot tonight is any-one’s guess.  At this point it’s more about personality (or lack thereof) than talent.  Stay tuned….

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I’m assuming Katy has a clause in her rider that states that her boobs must be the focal point for all her costumes. 

While some will question the appropriateness of her outfit, given the average age of your typical Sesame Street viewer, they’re probably just going to be all,  ”I’m hungry, MOMMY!”

In other Katy news, she hit Vegas over the weekend with her BFF Rihanna for her bachelorette party.  Word is they tore up the town in style.  Katy will be marrying Russell Brand later this year or early next (I’m too lazy to look it up and they’ve been known to throw misinformation out to the masses).

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Why be the person your betrothed fell in love with when you can be someone else?

Taking the premise of The Swan, that sh*t reality show were sociopaths competed to get a makeover complete with plastic surgery, and current trainwreck Bridezilla (which probably makes some future grooms want to cancel while declaring, “I’m not gay but I’ll learn.”), this latest contribution to the downfall of western civilization from E! will give women the chance to be “the perfect bride” competing in various wedding themed challenges to win “extensive surgical procedures”. 

Sounds lovely. 

The winner (if you can call her that) will get a “dream wedding” where she reveals her new look to the wedding party and groom.  In a statement, E! says, “Viewers will witness his emotional and possibly shocked reaction as they stand at the altar and he lifts her veil to see her for the first time following her extreme plastic surgery.”

Yeah, nothing says “til death” like showing up to your wedding with a new face, tits, and ass, possibly causing chaos in the process.

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Not sure if I’m going to tune in or not for the upcoming season as I thought the show had pretty much run it’s course for me by the end of last year. 

Gotta say though, this trailer looks pretty good and…oh hello brief shot of shirtless Sam doing pull ups!  Well,  apparently I will be tuning in to see what next befalls the brothers Winchester (I’m so easy to sway).

Season premiere airs September 24th on the CW.

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By sending everyone in the studio audience to “AUSTRALIAAAAAAAAAA”.

After about an hour of listening to the faithful and special guests John Travolta and Don Johnson give literal blow jobs to Oprah (it was every bit as nauseating as it sounds), the mighty Opes declared that she’d be taking her flock down to Perth for eight days.  I’m assuming Travolta (a licensed captain) is going to fly. 

Said Opes, “I wanted to kick off my 25th season in a big way and I’ve heard Australia is the ultimate adventure. It’s one of the places I’ve always wanted to visit, and who better to take with me on this trip of a lifetime than some of my most loyal viewers. My team has been planning this trip for almost a year and we are so excited to go down under.”

It’s going to put a dampener on things if all of the Mighty Opes’ trained seals followers end up having to pay taxes for this trip (remember the cars?).  Going to and from AUSTRALIAAAAAAAAAAAAAA  is not cheap.  No word if Oprah and John are planning on leaving them all in the outback, which would be wickedly funny, or if they’ll all be converted to Scientology by the time they get back.

(Yes I’m a cynical bitch, what’s your point?)

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Granted, there’s probably more Poly-fil, Scotch Tape, and fishing line holding her together than actual flesh, but you gotta give the old broad credit.  She looks good.

Cher came out amid a standing ovation to present Video of the Year(which went to Gaga’s Bad Romance) and wryly noted that twenty-some odd years ago when she wore the exact same outfit for If  I Could Turn Back Time, it was considered scandalous.

Turn back time?  Cher’s frozen it (along with most of her facial expressions).

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