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Long time coming.

You know you’ve hit the big league when Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer, the team behind the so-stupid-they’re-funny Date Movie, Epic Movie, Disaster Movie, and Scary Movie franchise have turned their collective attention to your property. 

Should also be intersting to see how the Twi-freaks, who’s obsession also gets spoofed, react to this latest insult (it won’t be pretty).

Having seen The Twilight Saga: Eclipse myself on Thursday (Note: never sit in a chilly theatre for two hours plus when your already battling a cold), I can honestly say that the latest installment would be hard to parody, since it’s so bad it’s almost a parody of itself, if that makes any sense. 

However, if anyone’s up to the challenge, it’s Freidberg and Seltzer, who also take shots at current pop culture notables Jersey Shore and Lady Gaga, among others.  Vampires Suck opens next month.

Haters to the left right.

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In 2008, Kristen Stewart, fresh of the success of Twilight, gave one of the most cringe inducing interviews in The Late Show’s history, falling somewhere between Farrah Fawcett’s and Joaquin Phoenix’s infamous appearances.

I get it, the girl is shy by nature and can get so nervous talking to people at times, the words almost have trouble coming out and Kristen can therefore come across as inarticulate (believe me, I get it).

So last night, K-Stew came back to The Late Show to promote Eclipse, and guess what?  She didn’t totally suck.  However, Dave is apparently still holding a grudge of some sort over her last visit and didn’t make it easy for her, although she held her own pretty well with him.

Not sure about her new hair ‘do though.  You?

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Thursday night the world premiere of Eclipse was held in LA.

Apparently, Twi-freaks had camped out days ahead in order to score tickets and get a glimpse of the film’s cast.  Some of these people aren’t kids either, but adults (supposedly). 

The entire cast showed for the premiere, including headliners Taylor Lautner, Kristen Stewart, and Robert Pattinson,who surprisingly didn’t get any flack about that quote from the NYT.  However, he did complain in EW about bloggers, calling them nerds hiding behind computers saying negative things.  That’s completelyuntrue!  I’m not hiding.  Ok, moving on….

The rest of the cast was at the premiere too, including Ashley Greene (Alice Cullen) looking like she was wearing a grey bed-sheet for a dress, and Nikki Reed (Rosemarie Hale) in what appeared to be the remains of some sort of bird.  Guess when your co-stars get all the buzz, you do what you have to in order to stand out (cough-leaked nude pictures-cough).

Early word (from EW anyway) is that Eclipse is the best installment of the franchise so far, although considering the quality of the first two movies, that should’nt necessarily be taken as a ringing endorsement. 

Word is Summit Entertainment has been playing hardball with the media.  Bad reviews or snark could get one banned from future premieres, press confrences and interviews with the stars.  With two more installments in the franchise to go, most media outlets are towing the line.

Haters to the left.

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 First Kristen Stewart did it by comparing dealing with the paparazzi to being raped last month (which she ended up apologizing for), now it looks like it might be her co-star’s turn. 

In an interview with The New York Times it was noted that Robert Pattinson (Sparkles to you and me) seems to be suffering from fatigue over all things Twilight, with the actor admitting that “it can get pretty boring” and that “the good news is that the whole thing is done in seven months”.  

Uh-oh.

I’m assuming Sparkles isn’t taking into consideration the junkets he’ll have to go on to promote Breaking Dawn (production starts this fall), which is being spit into two films, all the better to tell the story properly, not to mention squeeze a few hundred million out of the fans of the franchise.  Speaking of which…

Que the outrage and excuses of a Twi-hard nation as it tries to come to grips with the fact that their messiah is sort of over it.  Not to mention the write ups in various celebrity gossip blogs that will probably take Sparkles to task for coming across as ungrateful, since The Twilight Saga has made him rich, famous, and in demand as an actor (even if he can no longer walk around in public without several bodyguards to ensure he doesn’t get mauled by obsessed fans).

See?  Rich, famous, and in demand actors have boring jobs that they can’t wait to move on from, just like the rest of us!  Yet somehow, I just can’t feel that sorry for him.  You?

Haters to the left.

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Check out his clip about the fight scenes (there’s quite a few of them) for the upcoming third installment of the Twilight Saga: Eclipse.

The film clearly isn’t just from Bella’s POV (unlike the books) and probably stands to be the most accessible (something for everyone) to date.

Apparently, some Twi-freaks have been complaining that the movie focuses too much on action and not enough on the Edward/Bella/Jacob love triangle, without of course having seen anything but the trailers at this point.

Mind-boggling.

Haters to the left.

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It’s getting dangerous out there for anyone with a differing opinion than a Twi-freak.  Case in point, Emma Roberts.

Em was on The Tonight Showand got asked by Jay if she was Team Edward or Team Jacob.  (Robert Pattinson had been his first guest and he was hanging around for the second interview).  Em announced she was Team Jacob, the audience cheered, and Sparkles (Pattinson) jokingly said that she just proved she had no taste.  

Heh.

If that was the end of it, it would have been a cute story.  Except…

Well, except that the Twi-freaks take themselves and their stars uber- seriously, which is why poor Emma Roberts got a deluge of hate mail via Twitter.  She tried to make amends Tweeting “Rob Pattinson is so nice! I was slightly disappointed his skin wasn’t glittering & the song ‘Wild Thing’ didn’t start when he shook my hand”.

Unfortunately for Emma, it was too little, too late.  How bad did it get?  The Twifreaks ran the 19 year old right off of the system, forcing her to close down her Twitter account rather than face their wrath.

Emma Roberts is probably a bit of an easy target for this sort of thing (thick skinned she’s not), but you know things are getting a little out of hand when someone can’t even publicly acknowledge which fictional character of a franchise they prefer.

Haters to the left.

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Taylor Lautner is the cover boy for the upcoming issue of GQ and is profiled within.  The full interview is online if you care to take a look.  Since Taylor is managed 24/7 and everything he says is probably scrutinized by team of handlers prior to it leaving his mouth, I won’t bother regurgitating any of it here. 

It would be interesting and refreshing to actually get an honest off the cuff answer from the kid, but ain’t going to happen for a while.  He wants it too bad to risk being anything but coming across as sweet and dull.

The Twilight Saga: Eclipse opens next week.  Do you have your tickets yet?

Haters to the left.

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Kellan Lutz has a killer body to begin with, so it’s hard to tell if the photoshop happy art department at Men’s Health magazine did their thing with Kellan for his cover shot for the upcoming August issue.

I think there was some shading done for contrasting but otherwise, that’s mostly Kellan (he didn’t get that gig as a Calvin Klein underwear model for nothing, you know).  Kellan’s next movie, The Twilight Saga: Eclipse (he plays Emmet Cullen) opens June 30th. 

BTW – it’s official.  Breaking Dawn will be split into two films, the first coming out in November 2011, and the second part in the summer of 2012.

Haters to the left.

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It’s probably still going on this morning.

After winning for Best Kiss at the MTV Movie Awards last night, Sparkles (Robert Pattinson) and Kristen Stewart locked lips, throwing Twi-lighters everywhere into a tizzy.  Because their not at all fake relationship and love is real!  Real!!  REAL!!!

Sparkles (who’s giving everyone over 30 a Jason Priestley vibe circa his 90210 days with that haircut) and K-Stew also won for best Male and Female Performance for their roles in New Moon, which snagged the “Best Movie” award, beating out the likes of Avatar.  Of course it did. 

The same lot that wouldn’t let an algorithm prevent Justin Beiber from being a Trending Topic on Twitter certainly wasn’t about to let a movie with superior effects and acting get in the way from bestowing a meaningless award to New Moon.  Sorry, James Cameron, sucks to be you.

Haters to the left.

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Looks like that heated battle over wages between Summit Entertainment, Ashley Green (Alice Cullen) and Kellan Lutz (Emmett Cullen) has been resolved.

According to Deadline Hollywood, both actors are getting a total of $2.5 million for both Breaking Dawn films (not bad, but a steep drop from the $4 million they were supposedly seeking). 

Although an official announcement has yet to be made, it’s pretty much a foregone conclusion at this point that Summit will be breaking the story into two separate films, laughing all the way to the bank in the process.

Maybe Kellan and Ashley will take some of that hard earned money and invest in some acting lessons.  Couldn’t hurt.

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