.

Actually, the gorgeous creature above basting the Real Cornethian Leather is the always ravishing Donatella Versace, seen the other day curring her hide on a beach in St Barts.  I wonder when she dies if she’ll have herself turned into a luxurious designer bag, wallet and key holder set?

Dermatologists everywhere should print this picture and show it to any sun worshipers that they may have on their client list.

As for myself, from here on in it’s sunblock with minimum SPF 40.

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Rumours are floating around that January Jones (Mad Men) hooked up with Jeremy Piven (Entourage) after the Golden Globesat an after party at the Chateau Marmont in Hollywood Sunday night.

Could this be a classic case of slumming?  Possibly, but I’ll let you decide who’s slumming with who or if they both think they’re doing the other a huge favor.

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Mo’Nique is going for that “nature girl” look on the red carpet again.   Guess she’s too busy to shave, or maybe her hubby likes her hirsute (shudder). 

Ironically, half the guys in attendence at last night’s awards ceremony probably have less hair on their legs than she does.

Excuse me, I have to go now and scrub my eyeballs with a Brillo pad and bleach.

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Looks like Taylor Momsen (Gossip Girl) is either about to self immolate or make her “people” work overtime while trying to come up with some sort of spin on this one.

While at the launch party for her new perfume, Love Rocks, (smells like eye-liner, high school melodrama, the Lindsay Lohan Express, and career suicide) OK! Magazine asked the 16 year old if she planned to follow the lead of other celebrities that are donating both their time and money to help with the Haiti earthquake crisis. 

“Um, right now I’m trying to just finish my record and getting through the last season of Gossip Girl for right now. So not so much thinking about that.” She answerd, adding, “But it’s awesome that everyone is ya know, working towards a good cause.”

I get that teenagers can be self absorbed (teenage actors even more so) and some never people never grow out of it either, but come on, as an actor, fake concern or give some sort of generic response that acknowleges the situation without actually commiting to anything.

“I think it’s terrible what’s happened and I intend to see how I can help as soon as I’m able to give the crisis the attention it deserves”.   See?  So much better. 

Then again, I guess Momen’s candor and honesty (even if sickeningly callous) should be at least recognized.  Will it cost her?  The backlash has already started. 

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Just when we thought it was safe to go back into the water…

Wouldn’t you want to go celebrate with “celebrity socialite” Faithless Hussy on her birthday?  Apparently, she’ll be turning  tricks 35. 

Awesome!  She doesn’t look a day over 38.   

Wonder what she’s charging to get into her party?  Besides one’s self respect and reputation, that is.  After all, Faithless Hussy doesn’t give anything away for free.  Even her guaranteed silence comes at a price (low seven figures).

Besides “special guests” and “celebrity DJ’s”, possible birthday activities will include being on the lookout for her next celebrity husband to have an affair with so her “friends” can sell the story to the tabloids. 

You should always do what your best at, even while partying.

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Rumour via the always reliable National Enquirer is that the 72 year old thesp has been in a relationship with his 27 year old step-granddaughter, from his first marriage, Edina Hines, for about 10 years (above).  The tabloid had said that this is what led to the split between him and his second wife, Myrna.   Now the Enquirer is following up with that story from about half a year ago, reporting that the two are planning to start a family together. 

The Enquirer as you know, is often….out there in some of their stories.  Like, way out.  Other times, however, there’s something to the stuff that they print, and other times, they hit a bulls-eye.    

If there is any truth to this story, Freeman can pretty much kiss any chance of future Oscar glory adios.  Interestingly enough, he and his ex are locked in a bitter dispute over a divorce settlement.  Could these rumours have been planted by Myrna’s camp in order to make a better case against him?  People turn into absolute beasts when it comes to money, even relatively small (by celebrity standards) amounts.

Morgan Freeman showed up with a woman who was identified as his manager/companion last night at the National Board of Review Awardsceremony last night, possibly in a move to dispel the rumours without actually addressing them and thus giving them further credibility.

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With the Kardashian’s, you never can tell what’s “real” real and what’s made for their reality TV show real, if you know what I mean and I think that you do.

Anyway, Star Magazine (always a reliable fountain of information) claims that some source (Kim or Khloe?) has told them that Kourtney’s boyfriend, Scott Dissick may not be the baby-daddy of Mason Dash after all.  DRAMA!

Apparently, while Kourtney and Scott were supposedly on the outs, she hooked up a couple of times with some guy named Michael Girgenti (left), a 23 year old model and wanna be rapper that goes by the stage name Premo Stallone.  I swear I’m not making this up.  Also?  That name is total ass.

Premo Stallone obviously being paid to go along with this by the Kardashians, who are tired of Tiger Woods getting all the attention agreed that there’s a “possibility” that he fathered Kourtney’s child when he was contacted by the magazine.

So is Kourtney a big ho?  Is Scott or Premo Stallone the father of her child?  Will the DRAMA! be resolved on an episode of Keeping Up With The Kardashians, or will they need to involve Maury Povich?  Does a baby go “goo”?

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Behold the number one album of the past decade, at least according to Billboard magazine.

Yeah, that was my reaction too.

With over 10 million copies sold, defunct boy-band N Sync’s fourth album No Strings Attached,released in March of 2000, gets the top honor.  

I imagine the gamechanger in all of this was shortly thereafter, file sharing sites like Napster took off, making huge selling albums more of a unique occurrence (at least with the under 40 crowd).

The most popular song of the decade was Mariah Carey’s We belong Together, released in 2005.  

Guess the numbers speak for themselves.

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When your Jason Segal (How I met your Mother, Forgetting Sara Marshall) pretty damn low.  Segal had the look of someone who’s been caught slumming when he left his place yesterday morning. 

Minutes later, the paps got their answer when Lindsay Lohan emerged to scuttle away like a cockroach when the light has been turned on.  Of course, she had to send out a Tweet regarding it, which means they totally bumped uglies with each other.  

haha*now..a meeting at a coworkers home has turned into a new love interest! It’s absurd! @least I’m laughing @the rediculous manifestations

No telling what purpose the Dracula puppet served in the evening’s festivities.  Probably just as well.

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Maybe that’s a little harsh.  Then again, maybe not. 

Absolut Vodka, usually known for thier innovative and witty ad campaigns, have three new ads featuring actress Kate Beckinsale, none of which are either very witty or innovative.  Each has a direction for an Absolut cocktail in the top left corner, thus the colour scheme and distinct look.  Geddit?  Geddit??  I get that the ads are supposed to be campy and fun, but to qoute Tim Gunn, “It’s just not working for me”.

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