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Elinor Burkett, the pushy broad that looks like Madam Medusa from Disney’s The Rescuers, has been making the rounds in the media to defend her actions at the Academy Awards Sunday night.

Joy Behar, who seems determined to be a sh*t disturber (that’s my girl!), had Burkett on her show to explain herself.  Burkett says she had as much right to be on stage as Williams (she did get an Oscarfor the movie as well) and said her thought at the time was ”if I don’t make it to that stage within 3 seconds he’s not going to thank the band, he’s only going to talk about himself.”  

Burkett also told EW that both the Producers Guild and HBO certified her as a producer on the project, even though she removed herself from it due to a seething hatred creative differences with Roger Ross Williams.  Needless to say, he does not agree.

I’m just happy the whole thing happened.  Those WTF?! moments are few and far between in these award shows lately.  No wonder so many of the attendees rely on booze and other substances to keep things lively.

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I haven’t been this un-surprised since Clay Aiken came out in People.

Confirming pretty much to anyone who’s ever seen Billy’s Hollywood Screen Kiss or Will & Grace who isn’t headless, Sean Hayes coyly addresses the issue of his orientation in the latest edition of The Advocate.

Hayes was probably one of the first of a growing number of actors who don’t try to play straight for the public, choosing instead to go solo to the events such as the both the Emmy’s and Golden Globe Awards.

While it’s absolutely no one’s business but his own to be sure, why would you agree to be interviewed by a gay magazine when your clearly uncomfortable addressing the subject in the first place? 

However, Hayes has a new role on Broadway to promote, so he probably decided to suck it up and agreed to speak to The Advocate.  The interview itself is sort of unremarkable but will probably serve as a good example to journalism students of getting a slightly hostile subject to open up.  Sort of.

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Not in time to pick up their Razzie Award.  Pity.  Showing a sense of humor about regarding their own celebrity status (which is fading and fading fast) would do wonders for the Jonas Brothers brand longevity.  With Kevin concentrating on being married, Nick concentrating on getting a solo career going, and Joe concentrating on catching footballs they simply don’t have the time.

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It was only a matter of time…

Poor, sad, lonely Jennifer Aniston is the latest celebrity to enter the fragrance market, with a new scent that “she” has been working on for the past couple of years. 

No word yet on what it’s going to end up being called as apparently Echo and Aniston were both submitted and shot down by the marketing department. 

Uh-oh!  Writers block can be such a bitch, especially when your minions aren’t coming through for you.  (Memo to Jenn get better minions).  Since Jen clearly needs some help since her minions are failing her, how about “Desperation“?  Smells like: contrived rom-coms, John Mayer’s pee and publicist arranged fake boy-friends.  

Another possibility is “Abandoned“.  Smells like: failed relationships, spinster-hood, and loneliness.

I could go on all day with this (it’s fun) but I think I’ll stop now.

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When word came out that Angelina Jolie and Johnny Depp were going to be starring in a movie together, it was pretty much a foregone conclusion that the tabloids would be having a field day with it.

After all, to much of the Soccer Mom Brigade, Angelina Jolie represents the “other” woman, the beautiful hussy that will use her feminine wiles to lure away your, yes your man!  It doesn’t help that she was rumoured to have pursued and ended up having relationships with men that were currently attached to others at the time, first with Billy Bob Thorton (from Laura Dern), then Brad Pitt from the now sad, lonely, and chronically abandoned Jennifer Aniston.

The New York Post is starting the charge, claiming that once Johnny Depp’s partner (they’re not married) Vanessa Paradis found out that about a love scene in the script for The Tourist she’s been “demanding” that Depp quit the movie.

Some source (Aniston lowering her voice?) told the Post “Vanessa found out that there was a real long and intense love scene between [Depp] and Jolie. He’s currently trying to [get out of the movie], but I don’t know if he’s succeeded. But he’s trying and they’re talking about replacing him with Brad Pitt or Leonardo DiCaprio.”   

Yeah, I’m not buying any of this either.  Principal photography has started in Venice, Italy and Johnny has been reporting for work as required.  Angelina and her whole family is there to, probably to try and stem the reports that she and Depp are trying to find “moments” to be alone together.

The folks at Celebitchy made an interesting observation.  The Post is owned by News Corp (Rubert Murdoch’s company) which also owns The News Of The World, the tabloid which is currently being sued by the Jolie-Pitts over that break-up story that went viral and was reported worldwide last month. 

Speaking of the Jolie – Pitts and tabloid f*ckery….

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Their feelings are as genuine as her hair colour.

Jake Pavelka (Flyboy Ken) the commerical airline pilot and budding famewhore who will next be seen on Dancing with the Stars, picked Vienna Girardi (Hailey Glassman Version 2.0) on last night’s season finale of Why Is This Still On? The Bachelor.

After sending runner up Tenley Molzahn packing (who has another shot to find the famewhore of her dreams in the new season of The Bachelorette), Flyboy Ken got down on one knee and proposed to Hailey Glassman V2.0, who accepted and fake tears of fake joy to celebrate their fake love fakely fell.

No doubt, their love is one for the ages and will last at least until the middle of spring.

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This is one for Unsolved Mysteries.

The Blogiverse went crazy yesterday afternoon with word that Carly Simon had come forward to announce who the song “Your So Vain” was in reference to.  For years it was rumoured to be about Warren Beatty, while other names that kept popping up as possible contenders included James Taylor, Mick Jagger and Cat Stevens.

The Sun in the UK, known for their journalistic integrity, said it was David Geffen (umm… helloooooo??  Gay????) she was singing about.  Simon has re-recorded the track for a new acoustic album and supposedly if you play the record backward (oh for God’s sweet sake) you can hear her whisper the name “David”. 

Riiiiiiiight.  Playing stuff backwards guarantees you that you’ll hear whatever you want if you listen hard enough.  Cue the countdown to the “Carly Simon is a Satanist” rumours to start up next.  

The reasoning behind the Sun’s take on all this was that Geffen was promoting Joni Mitchell (Simon’s rival at the time) over her at their record company.

Of course the rumour went viral with the story being picked up all over until David Friedman of the blog  ShowBiz411 pointed out that in ‘72, Geffen was in charge of Asylum Records, not Elektra.  Apparently, fact checking is not a big pre-requisted before running with a story at The Sun.

Carly Simon’s spokesminion told CNN that “The man’s first name is indeed David, but it could be one of many David’s“.

Somewhere out there, Carly Simon is laughing at all the attention this is (still) getting 38 years after the fact.

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You almost have to admire the tenacity.

Evgeni Plushenko, the Russian figure skater with the bad 1970’s ABBA-eque hair and badder attitude who made all sorts of bitch faces while on the podium receiving his SILVER medal, and then went on to say that it wasn’t figure skating he didn’t get a gold in, it was dancing (bitter much?) has now managed to top himself.

On Plushenko’s official website, he shows that he won silver in Salt Lake City, gold in Turino, and platinum in Vancouver.  Wait, platinum?  Yes, completely unwilling to concede he came in second to the USA, Plushenko has decided that he won a non-existent medal to appear as if he came in first to those unfamiliar with Olympic standing or just plain stupid.

Way to make yourself a laughing stock there bub.  Enjoy your imaginary platnium standing from the 2010 Winter Olympics.

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So now it’s come to this.

First we got Viagra, then Cialis.  Lifelines to party boys and men who suffer from EH everywhere. 

Now for those who have the means to go hard but not um… long, we have Ex-tendZe.

Guys who feel they don’t measure up can take this supplement to get a little extra length and girth, supposedly helping turn little sapplings into mighty trees. 

And it was wood.

If this product delivers the goods, it’ll be the biggest seller almost no-one will be willing to admit actually taking (except for spokeswhore Jimmy Johnson).  Someone ought to give Jon Gosselin a heads up.

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With about as much fanfare and interest as the Oscars or the Superbowl Tiger Woods held his press conference this morning.

It went something like this…

“Blah blah blah, my fault, blah blah, rules, values, morals, blah blah, deeply sorry, blah, my foundation, blah blah blah, paps suck, blah blah, Buddhism, blah, might return to golf, blah blah, Thank you.”

Cue eyeroll.

Apparently, he’s on a week’s leave before going back to rehab for further treatment of sex addiction. 

Not sure if I buy the whole sex addiction thing .  Notice how none of the people who claim to suffer from it are ever addicted to having sex with just their significant other (causing problems in itself), but multiple partners, and only claim to suffer from it after they get caught stepping out.  While the behaviors involved might be troubling, this doesn’t necessarily make them addicts so much as just not orientated towards monogamy, a major no-no in much of North-American society whose roots can be traced back to the Puritans (the 17th century version of the religious-right).

How fast do you think it’ll take for one of the skanky hos he hit it with to either issue a press conference of their own or to appear on a tabloid TV show?

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