About a month ago, Amanda Bynes devastated her legions of fans (not really) by announcing she was retiring from acting at the ripe old age of 24, saying she no longer loved it.   

Looks like Amanda either found retirement boring, she in love with acting all over again, or far more likely, all the media coverage of her Twitter announcement led to renewed interest in her and a new acting gig.

Smart Chicky.

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Why should she?  After all, she’s edgy and hardcore and so very very over everything at the ripe old age of 16 (you can tell by the raccoon makeup and permanently bored expression).

The model, singer (of course she’s in a band, she’s a bad-ass), and actress, who’s character on Gossip Girl is going from regular to recurring (never a good sign), was recently profiled in Disorder Magazine to promote her new album.

Among a couple of Taylor’s (non) thoughts was that her record “confronts issues and goes, here’s what f*cking sucks about everythingthing”.  Wow.  That’s like, totally deep! 

Taylor also says that she’s not into guys, before clarifying that she’s not a lesbian, just bored with men (because by age 16 you’ve been around the block so many times sex is dull) and that “her best friend is her vibrator”.

Ooooooh.  Shocking!!!  Except not.  Good plug (heh) for safe sex though.

As this annoying kid’s fifteen minutes continues to thankfully tick away (though not fast enough), expect more attempts to scandalize, shock, and attract attention, all while continuing to maintain that she dosen’t care, becasue Taylor is so…well, you know.

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Oh sarcasm, where would I be without you?

Taylor Momsen, the petulant (and possibly ex) cast-member of Gossip Girlhas been picked by Lordes and Madonna to appear in a series of ads for Material Girl.  Nothing screams edgy like Macy’s or Taylor, who’s a perfect example of someone trying to hard if ever their was one.

We.  Get.  It.

Your edgy.  Your hardcore.  You don’t give a f*ck.

Can we all go home now?  It’s probably past your bedtime.

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“Kiss me you fool, they’re still taking pictures!”

“Again?  I don’t think anyone’s buying this Ryan.”

“Kiss me and I’ll send your demo tape to twice as many producers!”

“Pucker up, loverboy”.

Yes, after trying this routine a few years back with Teri Hatcher, Ryan Seacrest is once again trying to demonstrate what a ladies man he is with Julianne Hough. 

FAIL. 

Anyone else think it’s her brother Derek from Dancing with the Stars that he might actually be interested in?

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About a year ago, Carrie famously said she didn’t support gay marriage during a Q&A session at a beauty pageant, which may or may not have helped cost her the crown (she believes it did).

After that, it was all downhill for her.  Carrie got fired by Donald Trump for being a raging bitch to everyone on his staff but him, and subsequent petulant, hypocritical, and increasingly paranoid behavior from the beauty queen made her the butt of jokes. 

Lawsuits, sex tapes, and disastrous appearances on talk shows (Live with Larry King, The View) to shill her quickie tell all book (which blamed the liberal media for her downfall) as the summer progressed just added to the spectacular trainwreck.

As for her marriage, I give it about three years.

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Naomi Campbell seems to be missing something (besides a nice personality).

Apparently, the mal-tempered model, who has buzzed hair underneath all those weaves and wigs she’s so found of, is actually going bald in spots because of all the glue, threading, and what-not they use to attach the various hair pieces to her head.

A Tricholigist who examined the photos of Naomi for the The Daily Mail (because this is such a monumental news story) says that Britney Spears and Victoria Beckham also had the same thing happen to them.

Can’t you just see Naomi beating the stylist with a hairbrush when she first noticed she had less hair than when she started when her weave was removed?

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Fly-boy Ken (Jake Pavelka) from The Bachelor and immediately after on Dancing With The Stars, has broken up with the famewhore woman he chose to be his fiance, Hailey Glassman V2.0 (Vienna Girardi).

 US Weekly is saying the pair’s spokesminion has confirmed to them that the couple has  split up, adding that they “appreciate privacy at this time”. 

Sorry famewhores, no can do.

Most likely, ABC gave them the all clear, as the charade had gone on long enough.  Either that, or Vienna realized she wasn’t going to get any more famous than she was with Jake, while he was already getting bored of her.

Wonder if Vienna’s already hawked the half million dollar rock she got as an engagement ring from Jake (on ABC’s dime)?  She seems to be taking her split from Jake pretty well.  Apparently, Vienna was seen hitting on Greek star Gregory Michael the other night in LA.  She moves fast, no?

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…Or crazy like a fox.

If the Bieb’s fans went after Kim Kardashian over her Tweets, sending her death threats, this should send them into total frenzy.

(Great dig at Kim’s age BTW – Heidi is about seven years younger)

Guess that’s one way to keep your name in the media.

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Here we go again…

Proving that she’s a glutton for punishment, Kim Kardashian was seen splashing around in the surf in Bahamas with creepy little humunculous Justin Bieber for a photoshoot of some sort.

Kim got death threats the last time she appeared in public with the Bieb when he called her sexy and she called him her boyfriend when they met at the White House Correspondent’s Dinner.  The Bieb ended up sending out a Tweet to his more rapid fans basically telling them to chill the f*ck out.

Maybe this time his fans will be too busy defending their idol from the syphilis rumour that spread about him earlier yersterday morning to go after Kim?

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Thursday was just not January Jones’ day.

First, the Mad Men star was photographed hailing a cab wearing the same outfit she had on the night before at some event (picture above), meaning the dreaded “walk of shame”.  Then last night she was involved in a car accident.

Apparently, January was being pursued by the paps while on her way home from watching the Lakers game and somehow ended up crashing her car into three parked ones.  

Needless to say, the paps were probably having a field day over this, which is why January channeled her Mad Men character Betty Draper, and was all “I can’t deal with this commotion”, leaving the scene of the accident to walk half a block to her place, where she called the cops.

January was told the police were already there, so she went back to speak to them and is said to have fully cooperated.  No charges are being filed as there was no evidence of booze and January had left her licence in the car so the police could identify who was involved (hit and run or failing to remain at the scene of an accident only count if you try to purposely cover it up).

Poor January, she better stick to limos or the bus, as cabs and driving herself don’t seem to be working out too well for her.

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