Sarah Ferguson is blaming her taste for sweet, sweet alcohol and her financial woes among the reasons she tried to sell access to her most royal ex-husband and his family.

Apparently most of Fergie’s financial woes comes from too much shopping and too little income.  Yeah, that’ll do it.  Fergie says she’s now considering filing for bankruptcy. 

Appearing on Oprah yesterday, Sarah said “I haven’t faced the devil in the face, because I was in the gutter at the moment. I’m aware of the fact that I’ve been drinking, you know, that I was not in my right place.”

Oh please.  This is a classic cause and effect dilemma.  Did Fergie drink because she was doing something wrong, or was she doing something wrong because she was drinking?  Either way, bad Fergie!

When the mighty Opes had the video of Fergie taking the bribe and laying out how much she wanted, Fergie’s reaction to the footage was to speak about herself in the third person (never a good sign) “I feel sorry for her.  Bless Her”.   

Why do I see a reality TV show in Fergie’s near future?

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Every year since she got married a few years ago there’s been one.

Mariah Carey has dropped out of Tyler Perry’s latest film For Colored Girls Who Have Considered Suicide When The Rainbow Is Enouh (that’s the title?  Really??) starting a bump watch frenzy with the 41 year old diva.

Rumours that Mimi is expecting started when she was photographed outside an LA medical clinic earlier this month with her husband-manservant-second fiddle Nick Cannon.

Mimi’s spokesminion added fuel to the speculation saying that “she’s not doing the film because her doctor advised her not to” refusing to comment further.

Attention whores that Nick and Mariah are, you know they’re going to milk the speculation for as long as possible.  Nick even posted a message on Twitter yesterday saying how excited that he was that their family is growing, then adding it’s his dog that’s expecting puppies.

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Last week a singer by the name of Alexis Houston, (who’s supposedly Whitney’s half sister) was identified as one of the women Today host Matt Lauer had been having an affair with.  Both parties denied the story.

Well, looks like Alexis is embracing her new found notoriety, as she held a press conference in front of a New York restaurant with that champion of skanky hos everywhere, Gloria Allred.

At this point, once infidelity rumours and denials are being flung about regarding any sort of A to D list celebrity, it’s almost a foregone conclusion that Gloria will become involved somehow.

“I feel that my privacy and personal space has been invaded”  Alexis told the reporters before going inside to celebrate her soon to be delivered hush money26th birthday with Gloria.  Because holding a press conference with a famewhoring lawyer to complain about your lack of privacy is par for the course when your trying to light a fire under your singing “career”.

It’s official.  Being a mistress has now become a cottage industry.

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Who?

These two um…creatures are the mascots for the 2012 Olympic Games in London.

Glad to see the overly cutesy-poo Hello Kitty-ness of the Winter Olympic mascots has been replaced by something a little less cavity inducing.

Apparently, the names are in reference to Much Wenlocke in Shropshire, which hosted what would eventually become the modern Olympics as we know it back in the 19th century, and Stoke Mandeville Hospital in Buckinghamshire, origin of the Paralympic Games.

The friendship bracelets Wenlock wears are the Olympic rings, and his/her/it’s body is silver with bronze and gold accents representing the colours of the medals.  Mandeville’s head shape and colours are based on the logo for the Paralympic games, and both mascot’s have yellow lights with their initals on their heads, a nod to London taxi cabs. 

So how did the design studio come up with their look?  Well….

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Justin Bieber, the pint sized singer with that annoying hair, was until recently, a mainstay on Trending Topics on Twitter due to fan obsession.

Suddenly he’s gone.  So what happened?

Apparently, the gang behind the social media site have come up with a new algorithm that identifies topics that are experiencing a sudden spike in popularity, rather than relying on topics that have been popular for a while or even on a daily basis.

Pity they couldn’t create an algorithm to ban him from the airwaves, but I digress.

For those of you suffering from Bieber Fever, you’ll have to wait until he actually does something like release a new single or album, appears on national TV, or announces he’s actually a lesbian something of major importance (like a new haircut?) for him to reappear on Trending Topics.

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Miley Cyrus seems to be one of those celebs who’s always a lightning rod for controversy. 

In the latest example, TMZ has leaked a video someone sold them that shows then 16 year old Cyrus giving producer Adam Shankman (So you Think You Can Dance) a lap dance at the wrap party for the movie The Last Song.

Never mind that Shankman is gay, the fact that he’s 44 is what’s setting some people off on their soapboxes.  Cue the outrage!

Radar Online is claiming the dance was so provocative, parents with children on the scene grabbed them and headed for the exits lest their fragile little minds be traumatized.  

As for the video itself, the lap dance isn’t that risque at all.  A little suggestive sure, but nothing you don’t see at your typical high school dance after the punch as been dosed. 

You just know Shankman was thinking “Why can’t this be Liam Hemsworth?” (Miley’s co-star from the movie and current boyfriend) while she was grinding away over him.

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Looks like there’s going to be a major cast shake up on Jersey Shore this year.   Apparently a new crop of fist pumpers will be introduced in the second half of the upcoming season, the idea being to replace the original cast for the third season. 

Guess that’s one way to keep production costs down on a reality TV show.  Snooki, The Situation and J-Woww and the others all held out (and got) bigger paycheques for season two, but supposedly the contract was only for one season.

Who wants to bet at least one of them ends up on each of the following? Big Brother, Survivor, Dancing With The Stars,  and Celebrity Rehab (for tanning addiction).

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Cause this is one lame ass excuse.

Last week, the Beib was being interviewed in New Zealand and seemed flummoxed when he was asked if he knew what his name in German meant, telling the interviewer that he never heard of it and that “we don’t have that in America.”  (The Bieb is actually Canadian)

The Bieb is now Tweetingaway that he thought the guy said “Jewman”, even though he read the card, which said German.

His handlers might want to work on the Bieb’s interviewing abilities or keep the questions to a pre-approved and pre-defined list, lest their product get a reputation as being as thick as his hair.

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Do not get Justin Bieber fans upset with you.  Apparently, they’re only slightly less fanatical then some terrorist organizations.

It all started this past weekend at the White House Correspondent’s Dinner which both Kim and The Bieb attended. 

Always feeling the need to demonstrate what a player he is, the Bieb posted a picture of himself with Kim on Twitter, saying “Look it’s my girlfriend”. 

Playing along, Kim posted that she had come down with a case of Beiber Fever.  By Tuesday night, she was singing a different tune, sending out an S.O.S to the singer saying “Seriously Biebs! @JustinBieber I’m getting death threats from your fans! This is unBeliebable!!!”

Yesterday, the Bieb wrote out to his 2 million faithful (and growing) followers,  assuring them that Kim’s only a friend, adding “no need 4 threats. Let’s all be friends and hang out often .”

Crisis averted.

Did you hear that?  He wants to hang out with YOU.  OFTEN. (Cue the screaming) 

How soon do you think it’ll be before the Bieb uses this power for evil, calls his army into action and takes over?  Be afraid.  Bieb very afraid.

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Famewhoring and desperation for relevance makes strange bedfellows.

Now comes word via People that Emilio Masella, the fame hungry Guido that latched himself onto Jersey Shore’s Snooki earlier this year, only to be kicked to the curb when she realized he was more interested in being on reality TV than being on her, is going to be starring in his own reality TV show called (wait for this)…Fist Pumping For Love.

I’m not making this crap up.

The series will follow Emilio around the USA as he looks for love in all the wrong places from Hollywood to Queens in search of a “real Guidette who can speak Italian”.  Sounds like a real winner. 

Who’s brain child is this?  Pratt Productions.  As in Spencer Pratt.  The increasingly plastic looking Heidi Montag is listed as an “executive producer”.  Random sidenote – both were listed yesterday among Time Magazine’s “least influential” people (heh).

Full of delusions of grandeur as always, Spencer released a statement, saying “It is the perfect partnership for me as a growing player in reality television.”

Filming has already started this week.  No word if any network has picked the show up as of yet or even expressed interest.

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