Breaking his self imposed silence since last making an ass of himself, everybody’s favorite narcissistic guitarist, singer, and songwriter John Mayer spoke at the “I Create Music” Expo about Twitter.

“Within in the last couple weeks, every night I think about canceling my Twitter account because I think it’s pretty much done.  I just think that Twitter, as a form of communication, I think it’s over to be perfectly honest with you.”

So is John pulling a Miley Cyrus, or is this his “I wish I could quit you” speech to the social media communication network?

“I would rather see Twitter be a cork board of links to other more important things, because it’s really sort of flawed from the beginning.  I can’t tell you how many times I meet people who write stuff and get upset they have haters now, like, ‘Why do I want to invent more reasons to have haters?’ … I might as well spend that time making a sandwich or building a model ship.”

“My challenge going forward is to basically disregard the need, the obsessive need for external validation.”

We’ll see how long this lasts.  Communication methods come and go.  Douchebaggery is forever.

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QED (which remains to be demonstrated). 

Word is Lindsay has  already been lurking about her old stomping grounds at the Chateau Marmont since she posted this Tweet early Saturday.

Never trust anyone who refers to themselves in the third person.

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Looks like Britney Spears’ father is tired of seeing pics of his daughter at various hot spot gas stations, Starbucks, McDonald’s bra-less with her headlights on.

Yes, it’s actually come to this.  Moving on…

According to  The Sun (so take with a large grain of salt), some source was qouted saying “Jamie’s control over Britney’s life is incredible. He hates the pictures of her with her nipples all over the place so he has banned her from leaving the house without a bra. He wants her to put across the right impression. One security guard was told he is close to getting fired because he lets her go out without her bra.”

Is it a fashion choice or is it Britney being defiant of her father’s control over her life?  And why is the song “Born Free” coming to mind?? 

You just know some enterprising individual is going to have t-shirts printed up that say “Free Britney’s Nipples!” or something to that effect.

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Heather Locklear was arrested this past weekend over an apparent hit and run incident.  The victim?  An innocent no parking sign. 

TMZ is reporting that Heather was driving home around 4am on Saturday when she jumped the curb and ran over the sign near her home in Ventura, California.  A neighbor heard the crash but didn’t report it to the cops until much later.

During their investigation, police took a look around the neighborhood and noticed that Heather’s car had damage consistent with hitting a sign and arrested her, issuing a citation.  A misdemeanor, Heather wasn’t taken in, but will have to show up in court May 17th to answer to the charges.

Wasting no time in trying to put a spin on this, Blair Berk, Heather’s attorney said in a written statement, “Ms. Locklear was cited with a misdemeanor traffic ticket as she is the registered owner of the vehicle. She was never taken into custody. The matter is still being looked into as it is not yet clear who was driving the vehicle.”

Heather is still under probation for her DUI and reckless driving charges from 2008 (pictured) so this could be considered a parole violation.

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Must be something in the water at the rate celebs and their significant others are parting ways.  Latest casualty?  Tara Reid, the proto version of Lindsay Lohan, is single again.

Word is that she is no longer engaged to Michael Axtmann (the one with the interesting eyebrow situation happening in the photo above) after someone in the relationship called off the engagement. 

This part of the story is kind of fuzzy, as some reports (the media outlets that Tara got to already?) claim she called it off, while others (the ones she didn’t get to?) are saying  that Michael is the one that called off the engagement after meeting the man of his dreams.

Oh please, like you weren’t thinking it too.

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…Which is why suddenly so many celebrity couples seem to be splitting up and going their seperate ways, while others seem to be hooking up.

Such as?

Mel Gibson split with that smug looking Russian baby Mama of his that he has a five month old daughter with.  Some source (Mel’s ex-wife or one of his other seven children) told People that Mel and Oksona Grigorieva “drifted apart”.  This probably has nothing to do with the prenup she apparently didn’t want to sign.  

In other news that proves true love never lasts, semi mummified CNN mainstay Larry King has filed for divorce from his trophy wife of thirteen years citing “irrcconciable differences”. 

Word via  TMZ is that Shawn Southwick has also filed separate papers asking for divorce after getting into a huge fight with her husband this morning because Larry got it on with one of her sister.  Visualize that dynamic for a moment and try not to run screaming out of the room. 

Shawn is seeking primary custody of their two kids, child and spousal support.  This is (or was) her third marriage and Larry’s seventh.

Finally, in news that will have the Twilighter’s nashing their collective teeth, InTouch and Perez Hilton are saying Robert Pattinson was seen leaving the newly single Leighton Meester’s (Gossip Girl) apartment this morning.  

Sparkle’s overlords at Summit Entertainment are not going to be too pleased if there’s any truth to this story, as he’s supposed to be “unofficially officially” with Kristen Stewart.

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If you believe the reports from the likes of Life&Style, and US Magazine among others, then it sounds like one is definitely in the making here.

Who are the players in this possible melodrama?  

Cameron Diaz, the one time love of Justin Timberlake, who’s still sort of with Jessica Biel.  Now Cammy and JT are co-stars who are apparently “laughing and flirting” which is tabloid for possibly hooking up (or maybe thinking about it) on the set of their new movie, Bad Teacher.  Of course Cammy has been linked to…

Alex Rodriguez: He certainly seems to have a type when it comes to dating celebs (Madonna, Kate Hudson) and they certainly seem to have a type as well (talented but egotistical).   A-Rod supposedly hooked up with Cameron over the Superbowl weekend and the two have been “secretly dating” ever since.  Cammy was even flown into Miami to spend the weekend with him away from the ever watchful eye of the paps recently.  How very cloak and dagger.

What about JT?  When he’s not flirting up a storm with Cameron on set, he still has his Clingon to fall back to.  Word is Jessica Biel is now reaching the “breaking point” with their alledged arrangement, which basically consists of the understanding that JT can screw around with whomever he wants to and if she doesn’t like it she can leave.

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Seriously?  Like, OMG, WTF, LOL.

Word via OK! Magazine which is always a reliable source (ahem), is that Leighton Meester (Blair Waldorf) has dumped her long term boyfriend Sebastian Stan (Jack Benjamin).

Apparently, Leighton was all, “I don’t do relationships and whatnot”, and Sebastian is all “Woe is me” or some junk.  I’m paraphrasing here, but you get the general idea.

Maybe since Sebastian’s about to take off for the summer to film his role as Bucky Barnes in Captain America over in England, Leighton decided now was a good time to call it quits?

Let the rumours about his sexuality and romances between her and her other co-stars (specifically the newly single Ed Westwick) commence!

(You know you love me) XOXO

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The Famewhoring ages, that is.

Word out today that Michael Lohan and Kate Major (Jon Gosselin’s cast off) are getting hitched.  Oh please, please, please, don’t reproduce.

 The pair of famewhores spoke to People about it.  Says Kate, “I’m very traditional, so I wanted him to talk to my father. Michael went down with me to Florida for Easter, to meet my father to ask for his permission, and my father gave his blessing. I’m ecstatic. I’m very happy. Michael and I have known each other for four years, and it’s meant to be.” 

Traditional?  Who’s kidding who?  What kind of parent would be ok with their adult child marrying a convicted criminal who routinely gets arrested for breaking court orders?

As for Michael Lohan, “I’m ecstatic. I’ve never met anyone who’s been there for me like Kate. She’s always been there for me. The one thing about Kate is that she doesn’t come with baggage.”

That’s good, because he brings enough baggage and potential drama in the making for several couples let alone one.

Can’t wait for Michael to want Lindsay to meet her new step-monster, who’s supposedly only three years older than she is.  Speaking of Lindsay, what do you suppose her reaction to this news was?

‘I’m gonna vomit! I so didn’t need that info… Yuck.” 

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Oh nos!  It’s on now!!

Just when we all hopedthought we heard the last of Ben Mills, the 23 year old that’s finding notoriety via Peaches Geldof and Eli Roth, he returned via Reddit earlier today in the UK where he posted that the  Bear Jew (Roth’s character in Inglorious Basterds) “hates him”, then went on to write this missive…

I’m glad to be back on Reddit and these comments are out of control in the best way possible. I never said I considered Eli Roth’s statement harassment, I actually find it quite amusing, as does my mom. I did in the heat of the moment write a letter back to him that could be either public or private, but I’m sleeping on it before I send it and I want time to edit it before I come out just bashing some guy. I will eventually challenge this dude to a cage match, which chances are I will lose, but f*ck it, how often do you get the chance to challenge the Bear Jew to a cage match after he tattletales to your mom. Chances are never. Also eventually I’ll do an AMA on this, but will definitely wait for this to cool down. Lastly, does anyone on Reddit know anything in depth on IP and copyright laws? I’ve received a ton of messages with people saying things about my story and pics getting picked up without me or Reddit being credited. How should I go about handling this, if in any way at all? Feel free to post here or message me privately. All in all I find this pretty funny, all this spawning from one quick post on Reddit when I was bored and erupting into possible fights with the Bear Jew. Proof that when someone tells your tits or GTFO you should always provide the tits.

Heh.   All this is going to do wonders for Ben’s career as an artist (and possible reality TV regular).

Love a good scene as much as anyone, maybe even more-so, and Ben and Eli sure seem to be intent on giving all of us one.

Start the countdown for a response from Eli Roth…5…4…3…

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