Why be the person your betrothed fell in love with when you can be someone else?

Taking the premise of The Swan, that sh*t reality show were sociopaths competed to get a makeover complete with plastic surgery, and current trainwreck Bridezilla (which probably makes some future grooms want to cancel while declaring, “I’m not gay but I’ll learn.”), this latest contribution to the downfall of western civilization from E! will give women the chance to be “the perfect bride” competing in various wedding themed challenges to win “extensive surgical procedures”. 

Sounds lovely. 

The winner (if you can call her that) will get a “dream wedding” where she reveals her new look to the wedding party and groom.  In a statement, E! says, “Viewers will witness his emotional and possibly shocked reaction as they stand at the altar and he lifts her veil to see her for the first time following her extreme plastic surgery.”

Yeah, nothing says “til death” like showing up to your wedding with a new face, tits, and ass, possibly causing chaos in the process.

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Oh dear, this won’t go over well with the soccer mom brigade.

Some things may seem like a good idea at the time but hindsight (and parents ire) often prove them to be otherwise.  Such is the case with the spread in V-Man magazine, which showcases the main characters of the Shrek movies in a series of suggestive photos with a bunch of male and female models, some in various stages of undress.

Cue the self-rightous outrage from watchdog groups and parents!

A spokesminion from Dreamworks issued a statement saying, “While we do respect V-man’s creative vision, the shoot did not turn out the way originally envisioned when the idea was first presented by the magazine. In hindsight, we would have declined to include the ‘Shrek’ characters in such a magazine spread.”

Actually most parents with young kids (if they stop to think about it for a second) get it. V-Man is hardly the type of magazine to be picked up by the age ten and under crowd and if you’ve seen the first three movies, half the humour is suggestive and aimed at adults anyway. 

On the bright side, this will certainly get people talking about the fourth installment of the franchise, Shrek Forever After, although maybe not in the way it was originally intended.

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Summit Entertainment steps it up. 

If your a fan, rechoice!  Only 112 days to go!!  Better get in line to buy your tickets now (just in case).

Haters to the left.

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Pam struts down the catwalk floor
Sex appeal oozing from every pore

Richie Rich had his A-Muse fashion show last night in NYC and his partner in crime and model Pamela Anderson was on the runway strutting her, uh….stuff.

WTF?

This looks like something that was pulled from the costume department that was last worn for that sh*tty TV version of Buck Rogers about 30 years ago.  I hate myself for looking, yet cannot turn away.

If the this is any indication, I can’t wait to hear the record Richie Rich and Pam were supposed to do together which has her singing.

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They might find Quatchi, or what’s left of him on it or in it.  Nothing screams glamour like the fur from an overly cutsie-poo Sasquatch mascot (except maybe sequins and glitter).

When I first saw ”Quatchi” was going to be the official mascot for the 2010 Winter Games, I immediately thought it was either designed by an artistically challenged 12 year old girl with a really big Hello Kitty fetish, or that Mariah Carey seemed to be branching out from music and divadom  (although Quatchi would probably then have had butterfly wings and a unicorn horn as well).

Big and ugly may not be so great, but cutsie-poo just rots the intellect.  

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Cites the “unwanted media attention” on her planned bash at a club for the 29th of the month.  Cue eye-rolling.

Memo to all hangers-on, would be mistressess, blackmailers, and rich married guys looking to step out on their wives: There is no guest list and Faithless Hussy will not be in the building.

According to her lawyer, Gloria Allred (who I hope is charging double since she seems to be pulling duty as Faithless Hussy’s spokesminion as well) “The media attention was unexpected and unwelcome and for that reason the planned party will not take place.”

Uh, what exactly was the dumb ho expecting?  Cripes. 

Rumour now is Faithless Hussy is planning some sort of small boot camp birthday party on the beach for herself and a few of her friends.  Riiiiiiiiiight.  Because the sight of a bunch of skanks working out in combat boots and bikinis won’t attract any attention.

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Billy Corgan has had an interesting career.

As frontman for the Smashing Pumpkins, he and his band rose through the alternative charts and had crossed over into the mainstream by the mid-90′s with the Pumpkin’s double album, Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness. 

As popularity started to shift from alt-rock to pop, the Pumpkin’s popularity diminished and they disbanded for a time, only to re-emerge a couple of years ago with a new line-up and album, firmly re-entrenched back in the alt-rock category.

Corgan dating Jessica Simpson may have raised some eye-brows in those circles, but collaborating with her?  Kurt Cobain would be sooooooo disappointed.

Yes, apparently Corgan and Simpson are more than just swapping spit, they’re swapping ideas, with the pair holed up in a music studio the other night, jamming.

Guess Corgan is telling Jessica he can help with her music career.  Should be interesting to see what effect she has on his.

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